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Software No Longer Needed
Jan 25, 2026
From Minnesota Algae , 1910. I've spent a lot of time in rebuilding this website and making a nice CMS which handles taxonomy.
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@20
Oct 14, 2017
Not any kind of eulogy, thanks. And no header image, either.
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Recent Offsite Work: Code and Prose
Jan 13, 2013
As a hobby I write.
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Rotary Dial
Aug 20, 2012
Image: Telephone Desk Stand, U. S.
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10 Timeframes
Jun 19, 2012
Forgot to put this here... I recently gave the closing keynote at the 2012 MFA Interaction Design Festival , a full-day event held on Saturday, May 12, 2012, to celebrate the work of the 2012 graduating class of the Interaction Design MFA program at the School of Visual Arts in New York City.
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Facebook and Instagram: When Your Favorite App Sells Out
Apr 9, 2012
“Facebook and Instagram: When Your Favorite App Sells Out” is the title of something I wrote for New York Magazine ‘s website.
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Why I Am Leaving the People of the Red Valley
Apr 6, 2012
When I first joined the People of the Red Valley all those years ago I was glad to share water. I had been in Fathers of the Blue Sky and Sons of the Lion but I did not feel welcome in either family and I could tell that the People of the Red Valley were serious about creating a tribe that would provide me with a high quality of food, shelter, and opportunities for mating.
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Welcome to the Company
Sep 20, 2011
Recapitulation theory (“ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny”) puts forth that incubating humans act out evolution as they grow from zygote to baby. This was a popular idea a century ago, but it’s turned out the science isn’t that simple.
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“Facebook and the Epiphanator: An End to Endings?”
Jul 19, 2011
Forgot to tell you about this.
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“The Age of Mechanical Reproduction”
Jul 10, 2011
An essay for TheMorningNews.org.
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Woods+
Jul 9, 2011
People call me a lot and say: What is this new thing? You’re a nerd. Explain it immediately.
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Reading Tonight
May 24, 2011
Reading!
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Recorded Entertainment #2
May 17, 2011
So in 1993, BoingBoing tells us , a group called Mondo Vanilli made an art-prank album on Trent Reznor’s Nothing label, but it was not released until now. The members of the group were “RU Sirius, founder of Mondo 2000 magazine, composer Scrappi DuChamp, and performance artist Simone Third Arm.
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Recorded Entertainment #1
May 16, 2011
There’s this episode of the Jack Benny show, recorded during WWII and rationing, where they go to a butcher shop and take a tour of the freezer for 5 cents. Everyone sighs and oohs when they hear about the prime rib.
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Nanolaw with Daughter
May 15, 2011
Why privacy mattered.
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0h30m w/Photoshop
May 12, 2011
It’s immediately clear to me now that I’m writing again that I need to come up with some new forms in order to have fun here—so that I can get a rhythm and know what I’m doing. One thing that works for me are time limits; pencils up, pencils down. So: Fridays, write for 30 minutes; edit for 20 minutes max; and go whip up some images if necessary, like the big crappy hand below that’s all meaningful and evocative because it’s retro and zoomed-in. Post it, and leave it alone. Can I do that every Friday? Yes! Will I? Maybe! But I crave that simple continuity. For today, for absolutely no reason other than that it came unbidden into my brain, the subject will be Photoshop. (Do we have a process? We have a process. It is 11:39 and...)
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That Shaggy Feeling
May 11, 2011
Soon, orphans.
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Antilunchism
May 10, 2011
Snack trams.
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Tickler File Forever
May 9, 2011
I’ll have no one to blame but future me.
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Time’s Inverted Index
May 8, 2011
(1) When robots write history we can get in trouble with our past selves. (2) Search-generated, “false” chrestomathies and the historical fallacy.
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Bantha Tracks
May 4, 2011
People complain, still, about the new Star Wars movies being terrible, not up to the standards of the first few, but have you ever considered the gift the director gave to our culture when he failed so profoundly? An entire generation of men who secretly believed in space princesses, ready to waste countless hours on fantasy, suddenly forced to face facts.
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The Moral Superiority of the Streetcar
May 3, 2011
(1) Long-form journalism fixes everything. (2) The moral superiority of the streetcar. (3) I like big bus and I cannot lie.
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Microclimates
May 2, 2011
Cut weather in half and there is more weather.
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Things Have Rules
May 1, 2011
(1) Talking to strangers; (2) being a guest; (3) dressing appropriately.
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Notice of an Advisory Relationship
Jan 31, 2011
This morning Anil Dash and Marco Arment published blog posts that detail why they’ve agreed to become advisors to Readability , a service created by Arc90 , based on Arc90’s Readability toolkit. Both posts do an admirable job explaining the service.
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The Web Is a Customer Service Medium
Jan 5, 2011
I look forward to your feedback.
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Real Editors Ship
Jul 19, 2010
tl;dr: needs editing.
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Parka
Apr 20, 2010
My friend wore a green parka. She is, like I now am, self-employed, and called me this afternoon using Skype, which I can already see, a few weeks into my new career, is going to be a problem.
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I’m on a Panel at SxSW
Mar 7, 2010
I’ll be in Austin at the interactive slice of SxSW ( Where screencasts come alive! ) for a few days starting this Wednesday.
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Elsewhere: Just Like Heaven
Jan 10, 2010
I wrote a Non-Expert for TheMorningNews. org, called “Just Like Heaven” : Question: Is there afterlife —Matt Answer: If you ever need to make your own Grand Canyon, start with a river and lift up the earth.
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But melts just like a little girl
Aug 25, 2009
Bob Dylan plans to release a collection of familiar yuletide tunes... with proceeds of the album to benefit hunger-relief charities...
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Panel/Unicode table for you
Aug 20, 2009
So I’ve been out of it for a little while longer than I’d hoped. And I’m back here, like the world’s worst ex-boyfriend, to ask for a small favor.
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Been a while
Feb 15, 2009
I’ve been working on something over at the dayjob. (Although I’m writing this at 2:36 AM from the office, so not just dayjob.
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Learning to Fear the Semantic Web
Oct 14, 2008
Zotero is an open-sourced bibliography-management tool that runs inside Firefox-based browsers ( see screencast ). It helps you keep track of your research.
- Fixed Sep 17, 2008
- NYU Sep 17, 2008
- Also Sep 10, 2008
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Steering Wheel
Sep 10, 2008
I’ve been walking home--my bike is in the shop forever and the weather is nice. I listen to episodes of the Jack Benny program on my phone, waiting for Mary Livingstone to laugh.
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I never told you because I was kind of out of it for a while there but
Mar 31, 2008
Dad has a blog . So does my wife, actually.
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Sasquatch
Mar 25, 2008
The first movie I remember seeing was called Sasquatch: The Legend of Bigfoot . I’m sure I had been to the Warner Theater before that but I remember this movie because it was not for children, I was six, and there was some negotiation before I was allowed to go.
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Over There
Mar 23, 2008
~200 words on restraints at ABriefMessage. com.
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Signs
Mar 20, 2008
If anyone needs the office phone number.
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Note
Mar 19, 2008
I wonder what the poor folks are doing tonight.
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Eloquence Personified
Mar 19, 2008
“That’s great. That’s everything it’s supposed to be.
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The Wind Chest
Mar 17, 2008
“Are you going to church? ” asked my mother over the phone.
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Six-Word Reviews of 763 SXSW Mp3s
Mar 12, 2008
I wrote 763 six-word song reviews for The Morning News. The songs are all from bands appearing at SXSW right now and each review links to MP3s so that you might judge the state of contemporary music for yourself.
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This Is Just To Say
Mar 2, 2008
Cockatiels Ran across some verse and realized: The tidal-wave of domesticity that’s crashed on these shores has rendered modernist and late-modernist love poetry inoperate. I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox Etc.
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Clouds
Feb 26, 2008
My most frequent when-I-am-walking game is Exposure : What if I had nothing more than my clothes and needed to survive the night? “All of the brownstone basements have gates,” I said to my wife as we walked down Union St.
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Fishing Party
Feb 9, 2008
Last September, on a clear warm Saturday morning a week before my wedding, about ten of us celebrated my bachelor party by going fishing out in Sheepshead Bay. You pay $50 and get on the boat.
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A Joke
Feb 4, 2008
Why do oranges make good lawyers? Because they always win on appeal.
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The Vet
Feb 3, 2008
Watching parts of the game last night I was put in mind of attending Phillies games with my grandfather at Veterans Stadium. I was nine or ten.
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The Swings
Jan 30, 2008
My friend Michael wants to know what I think of his novel. The first chapter—the first of twelve planned, according to the index cards pinned to clotheslines that cover the ceiling of his apartment, is one hundred fifty-seven singlespaced ten-point Times New Roman pages that describe relations between a man referred to as Captain and a woman known as Isabella, the wife of a Austrian blunderbuss dealer.
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Tag Cloud
Jan 29, 2008
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Another Veil-lifter Pitched
Jan 28, 2008
Dear EDITOR, I am proud to send you, in galley, THE VEILS FLEW AWAY LIKE KITES, the first novel by major new talent Isolde Mabuq. Open it .
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Saturday
Jan 27, 2008
I went fishing in Florida once, said Rebecca, and the ocean is absolutely teeming with violence. I pulled a two-foot kingfish out of the water.
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Love Explosion
Nov 1, 2007
I came up with 100 Ways to Say I Love You at The Morning News.
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$5 Chocolate Bar
Sep 30, 2007
Scott Rahin told me, “the other day I was watching this video and I just started crying. ” “What was it?
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Big O
Sep 22, 2007
Word Rectangle Write a program to find the largest possible rectangle of letters such that every row forms a word (reading left to right) and every column forms a word (reading top to bottom). Words should appear in this dictionary: WORD.
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The Guests
Sep 20, 2007
I put on a black suit with a blue shirt and orange tie and got married to Mo, who wore a burgundy dress. September 15, 2007, a few minutes after 6:00PM.
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Upstate
Aug 26, 2007
I was upstate at a birthday party. A nice group of people.
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Twitter RSS in XSLT FTW
Aug 21, 2007
I’ve decided to geek out on Wednesdays. Today, I want to include a Twitter RSS feed (which, inspired by Joshua Allen , I tentatively plan to fill not with news of my clever doings but rather with filth about a fictional evil family) on the front page here at Ftrain.
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The Cloths of Heaven are Old Shirts and Dark Slacks
Aug 20, 2007
Often in novels the dreams of characters relate to the action of the main narrative. A man fights with his wife, goes to bed, and dreams his house burned down.
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I Am Making a Difference
Aug 16, 2007
Rather than purchasing goods made by overseas laborers —who are often forced to work in unsafe conditions for low wages—I have kidnapped and enslaved a group of neighborhood children and chained them to a bench in my garage, where they make my clothes and build my gadgets. ¶ I carpool or ride my bike to Klan rallies.
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The CPU
Aug 15, 2007
I read a lot of computer language hermeneutics on various websites . It’s rare to see people talking about syntax but instead they discuss how the language will be interpreted and understood.
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Empty Rooms
Aug 14, 2007
Walking uptown or through Brooklyn Heights I will see a window stuffed with papers and books, or catch a glimpse of an old woman in a fading housecoat stepping out to get her Times , and I will wonder which room in New York City has been empty the longest. Is there, for example, a bedroom in Brooklyn that was sealed up after a son didn’t return from Vietnam, and that has remained locked ever since, mustard paint peeling and a faded poster of Grace Slick on the wall?
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The Interrogation Room
Aug 13, 2007
When a story of extraordinary hollowness--one of our Whore Laureates drunk and in jail--saturates the entire government-sold spectrum, sanctimonious purselips condemn the media for its banality, its P. H.
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The Bike Store
Aug 12, 2007
Somewhere in Brooklyn or Manhattan. A bell rings when you enter.
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The Reversal
Aug 9, 2007
After many years of focused self-loathing I have reversed the flow of hatred and entered into a lengthy phase of purifying misanthropy. I fear and hate other humans: their innate violence, apelike grins, and peculiar smells.
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Launch
Apr 11, 2007
It makes sense to associate the word “launch,” previously for boats and rocket ships, with the release of new websites. The word evokes the landing pad, crowds of onlookers, and the fact that the craft, from the moment the countdown ends, could suddenly explode, raining loose tiles and human remains over southern Florida.
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Dear Internet
Apr 1, 2007
Dear Internet, I made you something.
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Döh
Jan 30, 2007
The Simpsons in . .
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Snow day
Jan 29, 2007
Walking home from the train we were so happy to see the snow, because there has been so little of it. “God,” said Mo.
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Wikipedia Explains R&B
Jan 28, 2007
Ne-Yo, “So Sick” Ne-Yo has said he got the idea for the song from an old girlfriend he used to have. He really did like her but he listened to the advice of his friends and wound up cheating on her.
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Elsewhere: Lawyering
Jan 25, 2007
Read Lawyering , by Paul Ford, over at The Morning News.
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Etc.
Jan 23, 2007
Yes, Scott, said Rebecca. We were at her place.
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Night
Jan 22, 2007
My recent dreams have terrified me. “Push!
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Sleeping Piece
Jan 21, 2007
It’s late and I can’t sleep for nerves, but I should. So I look at the cat to relax.
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Night Visit
Jan 16, 2007
My friend Scott Rahin came over and offered to do the dishes if I spoke to him for a while. “Okay,” I said.
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Person or Stuff?
Jan 15, 2007
Sometimes we play a game called “person or stuff. ” It’s a dark night; we’re walking down 4th Avenue below Union Street, or through some other bleak-looking part of Brooklyn.
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The Problems of Nomads
Jan 14, 2007
And they said, Go to, let us build us a city, and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.
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Trope
Jan 11, 2007
I occasionally read a web essay or a newspaper article where a man—so far, always a man—owns up to the “guilty pleasures” on his iPod. You’ve seen this too?
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Dear LazyWeb
Jan 10, 2007
LazyWeb: The idea that if you wait long enough, someone will implement that wacky idea you had . . . (or already has!) —IAWiki
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My Palace of Memory Crumbles
Jan 9, 2007
A version of this piece was originally broadcast by NPR on the 26 December 2006 edition of NPR’s All Things Considered. It can be heard on their web site via RealAudio or Windows Media Player.
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Memory and the Virtual World
Jan 9, 2007
http://www. npr.
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The End of Lazy Christmas
Jan 4, 2007
Not writing enough means that everything feels uncooked—like my stomach is filled with cake batter. I’ve been off the wagon for two years and now is the right time to get back on, if I can.
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Rowing the Pool
Jan 3, 2007
A friend of mine, a brilliant woman whom I knew for six years, was a natural at confrontation. Discussions could feel like they were being held in a room filled with eggshells and spun glass.
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The Weird Thing
Jan 2, 2007
“I just sat around,” I said. “It’s my least favorite holiday.
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Spinning
Jan 1, 2007
The first thing I see biking to work are the casket trucks loading up, each with the same soothing and ambiguous sunset painted onto it. That’s right around the corner on Union Street.
- My New Year’s Resolutions Dec 31, 2006
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Men standing around broken machines
Sep 10, 2006
I realized not long ago that my age of deep feelings has passed. For much of my life I was able to bring myself to an emotional boil by reading or writing.
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Lung
Apr 16, 2006
As I began to walk down the stairs at the Brooklyn Union St. subway platform I felt the rush of air that comes when an express train hurries past on the inner platform.
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Five Minutes to Departure
Feb 25, 2006
So long, 9th St.
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Sortable Lists
Feb 19, 2006
Packing up leads me to think about interfaces and garbage.
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Green Apples Will Explode
Feb 16, 2006
Dreams, machines, plans.
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Precinct
Feb 7, 2006
Precinct, Danish, Squirrel
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Speaking
Jan 2, 2006
Trying to get things rolling again.
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To what Google Base uses may we return, Horatio!
Nov 15, 2005
In which I contribute to Business 2.0.
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Nicknames We Gave Our Intelligence Sources
Nov 6, 2005
When “Curveball” just won’t do.
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Pulling back teeth
Oct 30, 2005
Notes on a big happy smile.
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Followup/Distraction
Oct 13, 2005
There are two kinds of distraction, at least.
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Jerry
Oct 12, 2005
Just a college anecdote.
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Laundromat
Oct 11, 2005
Some things just suck.
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Lost Songs
Oct 4, 2005
Loss as gain.
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Gary Benchley, Rock Star
Oct 2, 2005
Ftrain. com, I’ve been unfaithful to you.
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Where is Snowball? Where is the bus?
Sep 8, 2005
A single paw on the wheel as the bus pulls away.
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It was a genuinely pleasant interaction.
Aug 15, 2005
The woman was printing the hotel bill and she asked me how my stay was. I said, “well, I had a problem.
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Crossed, Tangled, Braided
Aug 10, 2005
Thirty-one and focusing.
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We are going to
Jul 25, 2005
“We are going to listen to some music,” said Scott. “Get up your Russians.
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Scampering Housewards
Jun 13, 2005
Another stroll down Smith St.
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The Times they is a’chargin'
May 19, 2005
The New York Times decided that, come September, it will start charging for some of its online content. This twists the knickers of many a blogger, but makes me glad.
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Occupation
Apr 22, 2005
Filling in the spare forty-five minutes.
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Metropolitan Dairy
Apr 21, 2005
On my way to work last week.
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Benefits
Apr 11, 2005
Some thoughts on health insurance.
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The Thumb-sized Heart of TK the Cat
Apr 3, 2005
A pleasant fellow expires.
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My Cat Abraham Lincoln
Feb 21, 2005
I rename my cat every month; this month his name is Abraham Lincoln. He talks to me for hours at a time, and when I do not give him the love he deserves he enters the bathroom, finds a spot in the bathtub that resonates perfectly, and screams until I give in and call for him.
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My Three Favorite Computer Games of 2004
Jan 19, 2005
It was a great year for sitting and playing at INTERACTIVE GAMING MONTHLY ONLINE!
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Installing updates
Jan 11, 2005
Hello there. Ftrain is on a hiatus.
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Meats
Nov 29, 2004
Today Helena (this is not my girlfriend’s name, and I am going to change it every time I use it, in order to keep the cops at bay) and I saw a van that read: Flushing Meats, from Queens. In 6,000,000-pt type with a picture of a pig.
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Voting Story
Oct 31, 2004
I was talking with a good friend of mine about the weather. “Vote,” she said.
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The Election
Oct 26, 2004
We’re going on 18 years now, give or take a few, 18 years of constant recriminations and condemnations, assassination attempts, and meaningless rallies. Both of the candidates look exhausted, gaunt.
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The pigs
Oct 3, 2004
I forgot to tell you--when I was down in Maryland helping my mother after the flood, a woman came by the house and told the story of her three caged pigs. These pigs were nearly carried away during the flood.
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Why Evangelical Christians Should Not Vote for Bush
Sep 26, 2004
Dear Evangelical Christians, As an atheist, and an avid fan of the Left Behind books, I am willing to consider every possibility. And one of the thing I’ve been considering lately is—maybe you’re right.
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Flood 2
Sep 20, 2004
A second flood in two weeks brought five and a half feet of water and inches of thick river mud into my mother’s basement. So I came down to Maryland on Sunday.
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All The Memories I’ll Need
Sep 13, 2004
Here comes the flood.
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The Photo Diary of Hector, a Tiny Robot Whale
Sep 6, 2004
A very important story, told in pictures and headlines.
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Views of TK
Sep 5, 2004
A closer look at the creature.
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Crashing a Republican Party
Sep 1, 2004
Wandering into the Republican Governor’s Association event.
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The Banality of Google
Aug 31, 2004
Thoughts on the nature of search and the importance of corporate philosophy.
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Miscellaneous Blues and Oranges
Aug 30, 2004
Thoughts on learning a camera.
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Yet Another
Aug 29, 2004
As we walked north along 7th Ave, balloons in hand, a man wearing a smock popped out of a restaurant. “I wish I could come!
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Gone Protestin'
Aug 28, 2004
In a few moments, I’m heading to the protest, the big one. After that I may wander up to Central Park to see what happens there.
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A Good Thing to Do
Aug 26, 2004
Posters in Manhattan.
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Introduction
Aug 10, 2004
He had just turned 30, and now he was sitting up in bed, ebbing in and out of sleep after hitting snooze on the alarm. His dream had been remarkable.
- The Unhappy Town Aug 10, 2004
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Gallivespians
Jun 15, 2004
Some thoughts on geekery.
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Track 5: Champion Rooster
Jun 2, 2004
The fifth track from the album “Oat Songs in the Dropsy.”
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Northeast Corridor
Jun 1, 2004
Hospitals take the life right out of you. The huge sliding doors, the phalanx of clerks and guards, the waxed linoleum.
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Prosebot
Apr 29, 2004
Off for a bit.
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Lost Habits
Apr 26, 2004
The seed of our futures.
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Voice
Apr 25, 2004
Learning to speak.
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Beautiful Ladies
Apr 22, 2004
Select images from our recent modeling shoot in Corfu.
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Shopping
Apr 21, 2004
A commercial expedition.
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The Doomsday Canticle, Part II
Apr 20, 2004
Jack @ RhetoricalDevice has challenged Alex @ Logodrome, Alex @ Brokentype, and myself to write a Lovecraftian novel round-robin, called The Doomsday Canticle. This is the second installment; you can read the first installment on Jack’s site.
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Dawn over 9th St.
Apr 19, 2004
First the deep blue.
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Outsourcing, Etc.
Apr 18, 2004
Considering the source of outsourcing.
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Finding Bartleby
Apr 15, 2004
A second take on the ideas put forth in .
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Memory of the New Economy
Apr 13, 2004
Back when we were cool, and flush, and full of ourselves.
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The Spy
Apr 12, 2004
Protecting myself, and others, from my own geek nature.
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Pepsitilting
Apr 11, 2004
The Gray Album and carbonated soda.
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Age of X
Apr 8, 2004
What time is it?
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Interview Extension
Apr 7, 2004
Asked for a few words, I went on, and on.
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Regarding the Passivator
Apr 6, 2004
A response to a response.
- Miscellany Apr 3, 2004
- Code Apr 3, 2004
- The Semantic Web Apr 3, 2004
- Software Stories Apr 3, 2004
- Webs, Semantic and Otherwise Apr 3, 2004
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Colorless Green Ideas
Apr 3, 2004
Essays on the use and abuse of language, & examples thereof.
- Bloggity Apr 3, 2004
- Life With Machines Apr 3, 2004
- Another Whining Progressive Apr 3, 2004
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Commute
Apr 2, 2004
Morning events.
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Abbe’s Birthday
Apr 1, 2004
A night out on April 1.
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The Law
Mar 29, 2004
In honor of ancient Internet tradition, pictures of my cat.
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The Passivator
Mar 26, 2004
A passive verb and adverb flagger for Mozilla-derived browsers, Safari, and Opera 7.5, with caveats. NOTE! NOTE! FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY--DOES NOT REPLACE REAL GRAMMAR KNOWLEDGE.
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How I Learned to Swim
Mar 22, 2004
Part I It was a storm that pushed me back in. I took swimming classes at the Community Center in 1980, in the summer, when I was six.
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March March
Mar 19, 2004
Images from an anti-war (and a bit of anti-everything) protest, 20 March 2004.
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Heffalumps/Too much TotT
Mar 18, 2004
The elephants on their way through the tunnel.
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The Landlord
Mar 6, 2004
Marta’s landlord was always checking on something. He wore expensive white shirts, pressed slacks, and sneakers.
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Sleepless
Mar 1, 2004
See also: The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel at The Morning News . The creature perches upon the bed, orange stripes and yellow eyes.
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The Board
Feb 26, 2004
Radio days.
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See Also...
Feb 23, 2004
See: Interview with Paul Ford at Gothamist . I strongly encourage you to let loose hell’s fury upon me in the comment boards.
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Meow
Feb 18, 2004
Paws to reflect.
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Meeting
Feb 16, 2004
There are two basic sorts of pedestrians, those in motion from A to B and the loomers, who move stop-and-start, and set a shuffling pace, investigating trash, asking for quarters. To them we add two recent variations: cell phone users, and now the smokers, both of whom are banished from the bars and restaurants, self-selected social pariahs who breed either annoyance or lung cancer by their presence.
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Big Reading Thingamajig With Folks
Feb 10, 2004
Get there early.
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Lists
Jan 31, 2004
A small selection of hundreds of lists from Wikipedia.
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The King of the Pigeons
Jan 29, 2004
A note from the future Emperor of New York City.
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Passing Softly
Jan 27, 2004
The F train in motion.
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Three Gates
Jan 26, 2004
Reading the story of Empress Theodora.
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4701
Jan 24, 2004
Dragons and Jesuits for Chinese New Years.
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The Idiotarod
Jan 23, 2004
I want to set a story in Union Square Park, and so I went there to pace the park’s boundaries and observe its statues. Suddenly, a group of men ran up, all in black, four of them tethered together to a shopping cart, one behind pushing the card, and yelled “timekeeper!
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Labor Abstract
Jan 22, 2004
Some thoughts on outsourcing.
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Copernican Politics
Jan 20, 2004
PowerPoint Politics.
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Class
Jan 18, 2004
How the other 0.1% lives.
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Smith St. Between 9th and Nelson
Jan 15, 2004
Here you will find a few brownstones, and across the street, some sort of red-painted brick structure which belongs to the concrete factory, and some trash lids chained to a wall so that they will never escape. All night the cans strain at their chains, for a freedom that will never be theirs.
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Smith St. Between Nelson and Huntington
Jan 15, 2004
No one lives on this block. It is empty of all but passing life.
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Ceiling
Jan 13, 2004
Hole in the roof of the Smith & 9th St. Subway Station I went for an interview at a branding firm in midtown.
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Tufte vs. Bloom 2
Jan 12, 2004
The personal desire for maps of literature.
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Interlude: Victim
Jan 11, 2004
Getting some tail.
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Tufte vs. Bloom
Jan 11, 2004
Thoughts on the work of Franco Moretti.
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Tufte vs. Bloom 1
Jan 10, 2004
Moretti’s work in a broad context.
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Laundromat
Jan 9, 2004
Considering the spin cycle.
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Copy
Jan 8, 2004
An apology.
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Knowing Your Era
Jan 7, 2004
It would be nice to know.
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The Soldiers at Smith & 9th St
Jan 6, 2004
in an edited form The sign at my subway stop said “by using this station you consent to appear in a film. ” On the platform, I found actors in camouflage, holding fake guns, in stone-faced formation.
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Empire State
Jan 4, 2004
A tentative step in a singular direction.
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Track 4: Places I Have Visited
Jan 3, 2004
The fourth track from the album “Oat Songs in the Dropsy.”
-
Predictions
Jan 2, 2004
An old man came up to me; it was 1AM & I was waiting for a bus. “Hey,” he said.
-
Sickbed
Jan 1, 2004
A thing that comes from dreams, but would be better forgotten.
-
The Bad Turtles
Dec 31, 2003
An inventory of New Years.
-
Santas
Dec 13, 2003
A throng of drunken Santas, rampaging.
-
A New Website for Harper’s Magazine
Nov 30, 2003
On December 1, 2003, a new website for Harper’s Magazine launched at Harpers. org .
-
Medium of Exchange (Revised)
Nov 24, 2003
“I tried once to imagine the path that a dollar takes when it leaves my wallet, when I buy a can of soup.”
-
Losesome, Lonesome
Nov 17, 2003
Q: Maybe we could have a threesome? A: Maybe you could have a onesome.
-
The Chinese Cats
Nov 16, 2003
Recalling a friend, finding her identity in her early 20s.
-
A Response to Clay Shirky’s “The Semantic Web, Syllogism, and Worldview”
Nov 9, 2003
Clay Shirky, a well-regarded thinker on the social and economic effects of Internet technologies, has published an essay called “The Semantic Web, Syllogism, and Worldview,” a critical appraisal of the semantic web which claims, in essence, that the Semantic Web is a technological pipe dream: an over-specified solution in search of a problem. As someone who has spent long hours attempting to fathom the standards which define the Semantic Web (see and ), I can empathize with Shirky’s frustration, particularly his frustration with the more lofty of the Semantic Web evangelist’s claims.
-
Jill
Nov 5, 2003
A conversation after some events.
-
Chemical Plants
Nov 3, 2003
Memories of the chemicals of childhood.
-
DVD Player
Oct 26, 2003
Buying a thing, and what it gets me.
-
Letter
Oct 26, 2003
A letter to the president regarding the Philippine war.
-
Easy Way Out
Oct 22, 2003
Elliott Smith, and stories about music, and false connections.
-
The Smile
Oct 19, 2003
She looks out the window, wearing a T-shirt with holes chewed into the collar, nervously stroking her nose. What can I say to her?
-
Chinatown and Back
Oct 9, 2003
The parade! The perspective! The joy!
-
Joke
Oct 8, 2003
Where does Björk live? Njörk.
-
Intercourse
Oct 8, 2003
Finding a penny, my friend held it up to the light, and said, “Make a wish. ” “I wish that I could keep that penny forever, and it would always be shiny.
-
All The Brands Names I Can See While Typing Without Turning My Head or Moving My Eyes
Oct 8, 2003
Iiyama Monitor . Gateway Laptop .
-
Progress
Sep 28, 2003
From there to here, then to now.
-
Medium of Exchange
Sep 16, 2003
Layers of language and millions of dollars, all confounded, all tied together.
-
Accordion Time
Sep 14, 2003
Time folds and unfolds in the rhythm of heartbearts, which leads to a theory.
-
Concession Stand
Sep 14, 2003
Paul: I used to go to this movie theater operated by a dyslexic. Scott: And he would put the times up all backwards?
-
Review
Sep 10, 2003
Looking at it two years out.
-
Planespotting
Sep 8, 2003
Refractions on flying.
-
Talking With Mom
Sep 4, 2003
Funerals, free meals, and nagging.
-
June-August, 1994
Sep 3, 2003
A long summer in upstate New York.
-
Processing Processing
Sep 1, 2003
Late night thoughts on little computer languages, the web as a form, and my own ignorance.
-
Experiments in Processing
Sep 1, 2003
Exploring the small computer language Processing.
-
Red Rotator
Aug 31, 2003
Left, right, up, down, click.
-
The Alley Watchers
Aug 28, 2003
The women who live on Rebecca Dravos’ side-street are mothers, and judges of men and women.
-
I Have a Dream
Aug 27, 2003
In the intervening years, this speech has been reinterpreted and co-opted by: those who would make King into a good negro, forgetting his uncomfortable, “Why We Can’t Wait” radicalism; those who would make King into an Uncle Tom, claiming that he didn’t go far enough, that his non-violence can be equated with weakness; those who would throw the first stone, and use his philandering as a convenient reason to dismiss his nights and days of work, his jail time, his constant labor; and those who take pleasure in the rhetorical grace of the speech, but ignore its native substance, and sample the speech for pop songs, layer it into montages, or use it in television commercials. None of this co-opting changes the fact that the speech is one of the few excellent pieces of exhortatory, visionary rhetoric ever written, and certainly the last great city-on-the-hill vision of America that we’ve received—written by a man who lived under segregation in the old, bad south. 40 years to the day later, the vision is far from realized. But at least it’s a lighthouse towards which to steer.
-
Black Box Theater
Aug 27, 2003
Being in the audience can put you on stage.
-
Square/Sphere/Static
Aug 26, 2003
Left, right, up, down, click.
-
A Visit to the Asylum for Aged and Decayed Punsters
Aug 25, 2003
One of the most agonizing pieces of prose ever written, and a warning to all who would use puns.
-
John Jones’ Monument
Aug 24, 2003
With $50,000 over the course of his life, what did John Jones accomplish?
-
Taking the Edge Off
Aug 24, 2003
Things we love that do not love us back.
-
Give the Country the Facts
Aug 21, 2003
The country is tired of the Philippine War. It would like to close the account.
-
New Discoveries in Acoustics.
Aug 20, 2003
A description of the Pyrophone, an early sound synthesizer utilizing tubes and fire.
-
Looking for Something Stable
Aug 19, 2003
What we talk about when we talk about fetishes.
-
The Moral Character of the Monkey
Aug 18, 2003
Monkeys are ungrateful creatures, but can be caught with pitch-lined gloves. They like to ride pigs. A monkey will unfold all your papers and scatter them about the room.
-
Telescope
Aug 17, 2003
Seeing with prose, and letting the cat out of the box.
-
Not GOSPLACS
Aug 15, 2003
Feedback on .
-
As Brooklyn Slowly Drunkened
Aug 14, 2003
The blackout of 2003.
-
The Chinese Room Thought Experiment
Aug 13, 2003
Imagine that you carry out the steps in a program for answering questions in a language you do not understand. I do not understand Chinese, so I imagine that I am locked in a room with a lot of boxes of Chinese symbols (the database), I get small bunches of Chinese symbols passed to me (questions in Chinese), and I look up in a rule book (the program) what I am supposed to do.
-
How They Telegraph Chinese
Aug 13, 2003
How did they telegraph Chinese? The managers of the China Submarine Telegraph Company have solved the somewhat difficult problem of how to transmit telegraphic messages in Chinese.
-
Sadness After the Condiment War
Aug 12, 2003
The cost of war is very high.
-
Pilgrimage to the Holy Land
Aug 12, 2003
Gustavus Adolphus, late king of Sweden, plans a trip to Palestine, and requests international compatriots.
-
A Chinese View of the Statue of Liberty
Aug 11, 2003
“And this statue of Liberty is a gift to a people from another people who do not love or value liberty for the Chinese.”
-
Dust Mites Gone Wild!
Aug 11, 2003
News about an album release. It is a good album.
-
The Condiment War
Aug 10, 2003
The catsup’s red glare, cabbage bursting in air.
-
Antlers
Aug 6, 2003
We were driving through West Virginia, a little numbed by the road. So we stopped at a resort, and we Paul Ford sat below chandeliers—6 of them at least—made of interlocked antlers.
-
Web Pidgin
Aug 6, 2003
Standards and schemas, pidgins and islands.
-
The Ftrain Sitekit
Jul 20, 2003
Spinning the plates.
-
One's Self I Sing
Jul 19, 2003
ONE'S-SELF I sing, a simple separate person, Yet utter the word Democratic, the word En-Masse. Of physiology from top to toe I sing, Not physiognomy alone nor brain alone is worthy for the Muse, I say the Form complete is worthier far, The Female equally with the Male I sing.
-
Shameful Pedantic Pettiness
Jul 3, 2003
Sometimes I can’t help myself.
-
Neutral Weblog Hotel
Jun 22, 2003
I rarely discuss weblog-world stuff here, since Ftrain is not a proper weblog, for reasons I don’t want to explain now, and the word “blog” gives me hives. But still: There is a concerted effort underway by a group of the well-informed and enthused individuals to create a common, standard format for “ weblog syndication, archiving, and editing .
-
Software Story
Jun 15, 2003
Visions of Photoshop, visions of PowerPoint.
-
Frequently Asked Questions
Jun 10, 2003
What is she? A lady An easy lover The one So unusual A black magic woman So heavy Always a woman to me What has she got?
-
My Ethnic Identity
Jun 9, 2003
A short story.
-
What Were They Thinking?
May 25, 2003
Gkronuk, River God: Wasn’t really thinking, actually. Esseltaub, Forest Spirit: That I should never have given that woodchopper three wishes.
-
Like Ezra Said
May 14, 2003
Notes from the night out.
-
My friend the Arb
May 10, 2003
Notes from the hypertext sweatlodge.
-
Missed Connections
Apr 28, 2003
Ftrain, 6:30 PM, between 23rd St. and Smith and 9th St.
-
Selected Remarks from the House of Representatives
Apr 23, 2003
Repeal the Cork Tariff!; Visa the beloved snoop; the Museum of Dentistry heals America; Palestinians should be nonviolent.
-
Letter to Senator Santorum
Apr 22, 2003
Oh, Senator Santorum, why do you say those things?
-
Letters to American Political Institutions
Apr 22, 2003
With replies, if I ever receive more than a form letter in return.
- Gargoyle in Albuquerque, New Mexico Apr 22, 2003
- Horse in Albuquerque, New Mexico Apr 22, 2003
-
Vacuuming the Lungs
Apr 21, 2003
How to breathe deeply when you’re nervous.
-
Message to the Republican Mob
Apr 21, 2003
Rap by a Democratic Congressman from New York, originally published in the Congressional Record, 23 July, 2002.
-
How Things Ended Up With Rachel Lange
Apr 20, 2003
Rachel had her hearing on 11 April, 2003; this is the result.
-
Letter to the Senate
Apr 20, 2003
Regarding RSS feeds. Submitted via email 21 April, 2003.
-
Letter to the House of Representatives
Apr 20, 2003
Regarding RSS feeds. Submitted via email 21 April, 2003.
-
Letter to the Supreme Court
Apr 20, 2003
Regarding RSS feeds. Submitted via email 21 April, 2003.
-
Letter to the White House
Apr 20, 2003
Regarding RSS feeds. Submitted via form 21 April, 2003.
- Parking Lot in Santa Fe, New Mexico Apr 20, 2003
-
Four Letters to the United States
Apr 20, 2003
Correspondence with government institutions of the United States regarding different ways they could use RSS to increase awareness of various government actions.
-
Drawbridge
Apr 18, 2003
Raising, lowering, somewhere in Florida.
-
The time I did lines with a bunch of grad students upstate and we ran around in the woods naked firing guns at each other at random
Apr 17, 2003
Paul asked me to elucidate this a little bit. So here’s the short version.
-
A Remedy Will Be Long in Coming
Apr 16, 2003
Not for a while; it will be so much work.
-
Track 3: Horse Canyon
Apr 15, 2003
The third track from the album “Oat Songs in the Dropsy.”
- Space Shuttle Apr 14, 2003
- Machinery Apr 12, 2003
-
In Defense of Pittsburgh
Apr 11, 2003
A response to Rachel Lange.
- Sea Apr 11, 2003
-
Another Statement on the Legality of Rachel Lange’s Case
Apr 11, 2003
A legal explication of Rachel’s case.
- Kingfish Apr 10, 2003
-
Frequently Asked Questions
Apr 10, 2003
Notes from a cold morning in Brooklyn.
-
Track 2: Skinning the Chickadee
Apr 10, 2003
The second track from the album “Oat Songs in the Dropsy.”
-
Accordion Time, Liquid Time
Apr 9, 2003
Travel in machines is always a miracle; ask any dog who sticks his head out a window.
- Florida Images Apr 9, 2003
- Pelican Apr 9, 2003
-
Mike K Responds to Rachel Lange
Apr 3, 2003
Mike K writes in with some concerns about Rachel’s essay--a good representative email from some of the people who weren’t sure whether to believe her or not.
-
Rachel Lange’s response to Mike K
Apr 3, 2003
Rachel replies to concerns about her story.
-
Chad Thornton Replies to Rachel Lange
Apr 2, 2003
Chad Thornton writes in in to show support, and emails the city of Pittsburgh.
-
Rachel Summarizes
Apr 2, 2003
The end result, until the hearing.
-
Responses to Rachel’s Letter
Mar 31, 2003
Two of the responses to Rachel’s email.
-
Pittsburgh, PA and Followups
Mar 31, 2003
Rachel Lange, who lives in Pittsburgh, PA, was accosted by police and jailed for 30 hours for nonviolent protest. She writes in with her story, and Ftrain readers respond.
-
Scott, Paul, and Takoma the Dolphin
Mar 31, 2003
A dialogue.
- War Diary Mar 27, 2003
-
Pittsburgh, PA
Mar 27, 2003
Rachel Lange is arrested.
-
Democracy is in an undisclosed location.
Mar 24, 2003
Protest signs from last Saturday’s march.
-
Dinner with a Billionaire
Mar 3, 2003
A work of fiction, in which any relationship between actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
-
Lucky Ducky Purgative
Feb 27, 2003
Working that orange alert out of my system.
-
Wm. Gibson on Terrorism
Feb 23, 2003
Author William Gibson nearly blows up the world.
-
Run from Ground Zero
Feb 19, 2003
A brief collection of essays on politics and the personal.
-
Progress Report
Feb 19, 2003
How it’s going.
-
“Jesus has monkey toes and breasts”
Feb 18, 2003
Jim Valvis is writing again.
-
Saturday
Feb 17, 2003
A march in February.
-
It’s fun to rhyme with my friend Hesta Prynn
Feb 16, 2003
I skin an eggplant like no other.
-
Kiki, the Legendary Goatrilla
Feb 4, 2003
A tale of genetics and budget cuts.
-
Cooking of Eggs
Feb 3, 2003
The table of contents from Many Ways for Cooking Eggs by Mrs. S. T. Rorer.
-
Nanobot Comix
Feb 2, 2003
A comic strip for the very, very small.
-
Getting Close to the Machine
Jan 29, 2003
A collection of quotes from a book by Ellen Ullman, prefaced by some good-natured technical meandering.
-
Keeping Your Nose Clean
Jan 28, 2003
It is your right to sneeze!
-
More and More Like the Machine
Jan 26, 2003
Some miscellaneous thoughts on software and soul, which I will try to focus on forthcoming Mondays.
-
A Dithyramb for Spam
Jan 23, 2003
An imperfect alternative to fighting spam which no one will implement, but which would be more satisfying than existing proposals.
-
My Financial Career
Jan 22, 2003
A classic from 1910.
-
Medium of Choice
Jan 21, 2003
The web is my medium of choice, not a medium of last resort.
-
Earthships
Jan 8, 2003
Learning about off-the-grid housing in Santa Fe.
-
Gorge
Jan 7, 2003
A gorge, on the way to the earthship.
-
St. Francis
Dec 31, 2002
A Sculpture of St. Francis Speaking to a Groundhog, in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
-
Ford, Focus!
Dec 30, 2002
A picture of the back of a car.
-
Santa Fe, New Mexico, United States of America
Dec 30, 2002
A trip out West to spend time with my girlfriend, a vacation, and the preface to the new year.
-
Wal-Mart is Everything
Nov 19, 2002
Selected responses from an online petition to Wal-Mart stores, urging them to continue selling handgun ammunition.
-
Chinatown
Oct 13, 2002
The tiger and the lobster fight it out.
-
Benjamin Franklin on Moral Perfection
Oct 3, 2002
Practical advice on obtaining a perfectly moral bearing. From his autobiography.
-
Benjamin Franklin on Business Ethics
Oct 2, 2002
When in doubt, sleep on the floor and drink water.
-
Borrowing a Car
Oct 2, 2002
Stealing, and getting people out of jail.
-
Colgate Money Shot
Oct 1, 2002
“Oh man is she pissed,” he said.
-
Giraffes Gossiping
Sep 29, 2002
They’re not gossiping, they’re ribbing each other.
-
Charles River
Sep 28, 2002
A chintzy postcard skyline tourist shot, but I like having it here.
-
How to Make Something from Nothing
Sep 27, 2002
Cuttings from one of the best craft books ever.
-
Dancing Dolphin
Sep 27, 2002
Ah, how they frolic, those cow jaws.
- Puppet Head Sep 26, 2002
- Kismet, the Hat Sep 25, 2002
-
Hot Hardcore Dutch Pants-Burning Lust
Sep 24, 2002
Three details from an allegorical engraving from Breugel’s invention, circa 1569, on the topic of the deadly sin of lust.
-
Woodcuts and Lithographs of Various Provenances
Sep 24, 2002
An eventually-growing collection of woodcuts, lithographs, and so forth, scanned from the author’s unusually large collection.
- Mouth Sep 23, 2002
- Inuit Mask Sep 22, 2002
- Scrimshaw Sep 21, 2002
- Anthropology Department Sep 20, 2002
-
Boston Haymarket
Sep 19, 2002
Photo taken by a friend, because my hands were laden with bags and I could not reach the shutter. Later I took some pictures of the same scene, but this one was better.
-
Bus, Massachussetts Avenue
Sep 18, 2002
Filled with souls and shapes.
-
Open Subway Door
Sep 18, 2002
Representing infinite possibilities, but devoid of humans.
-
Hips
Sep 18, 2002
This last weekend I met a woman who was proud of her tattoo. I’m not sure how the French translates.
-
Returning to the Devices
Sep 18, 2002
At which point Fremington goes back to the gym.
-
Bark Paintings
Sep 17, 2002
From the Harvard Museum of Natural History in Cambridge, Mass.
-
Rat Valentine
Sep 16, 2002
Rats need valentines, too.
-
5 Dollar Bill in a Jar of Kombucha
Sep 16, 2002
Kombucha is a tea fermented by the addition of a mushroom.
-
Pipes
Sep 15, 2002
On 34th St., I think, or right around there - a huge picture window, and there they are, the massive innards of some skyscraper or hotel.
-
Verizon
Sep 14, 2002
They raised the rates to 50 cents, the bastards, and still half the calls don’t go through.
-
Penn Station
Sep 13, 2002
Everyone trying to get somewhere...
-
Sky Corner
Sep 12, 2002
Always there, sliding into their destinations, or departing for greater heights.
-
Barbecue
Sep 12, 2002
I have no grace in grilling. The beets fell into the fire, the oil on them flaring up, smoke everywhere.
-
The Symmetry Project
Sep 11, 2002
Two ancient sketches from Deluxe Paint, a drawing application for the Amiga with which I sorely miss playing.
-
The Woolworth Building
Sep 10, 2002
The once-ubiquitous antenna of the WTC rising behind.
- Weekend in Cambridge, Mass Sep 9, 2002
-
Another Bathtub, Another House
Sep 9, 2002
Somewhere - I couldn’t tell you....
-
Montaigne’s Internet Business Plan
Sep 9, 2002
Montaigne - actually his father - predicts HotJobs.com, 430 years before an IPO.
-
The hands, they move
Sep 8, 2002
Watch them. Are they sending you a signal?
-
Free Willie Nelson
Sep 7, 2002
I’ve seen this RV about 3 times, as it’s driven around midtown.
-
Fellow
Sep 6, 2002
This is a pal, at the Flaming Lips show in August. He’s a music critic, cool fellow.
-
Cut Trees
Sep 5, 2002
Near Trenton, NJ. I don’t know why they cut them.
-
Building in Chelsea
Sep 4, 2002
Snapped on the way to see a client, over a year ago.
-
Make money!
Sep 3, 2002
Make it now! Make it! At home! Do it! You must!
-
The Scott and Paul Radio Show
Sep 3, 2002
For some reason, no matter how many times we show the script, no one will put us on the air.
-
Mystical Chair
Sep 2, 2002
One evening south of Canal St...
-
Filling the Bathtub
Sep 1, 2002
A picture from the dark.
-
1 Year Monologue
Sep 1, 2002
An essay where a section is added in 12 consequent months.
-
The Tarsier Afroth
Aug 30, 2002
A wonderful image received via email, provenance unknown, of one of nature’s stranger jokes.
-
DUMBO, Saturday Afternoon
Aug 29, 2002
A man, coming across another man, one of the men having entered into a strange posture.
-
Park Slope, Sunday Night
Aug 27, 2002
A woman and a dog.
-
Notes: Flowers for Algernon, by Daniel Keyes
Aug 27, 2002
A few notes on the book.
-
It would be good to assign permanent URLs to news stories
Aug 25, 2002
An idea for the Semantic Web.
-
concert
Aug 25, 2002
The Flaming Lips in Prospect Park, from Sunday night.
-
A Kick
Aug 12, 2002
My pal Bryan Atinsky gets his ribs bruised by a shithead policeman.
-
Hydrochloric
Aug 5, 2002
Hey, I said, this bottle won’t - ah - what is it? 6 molar hydrochloric acid - won’t open.
-
Personal
Jul 30, 2002
“One of the blessed crowd.” Also, Yeatsian economics. An essay.
-
A bit of commentary on Google and the Semantic Web
Jul 27, 2002
In response, ya see.
-
August 2009: How Google beat Amazon and Ebay to the Semantic Web
Jul 25, 2002
A work of fiction. A Semantic Web scenario. A short feature from a business magazine published in 2009.
-
Amusing Google Searches
Jul 21, 2002
Amazing what people search for, when they set to searching. Written in protective police custody, address undisclosed.
-
Why I Loved the Library
Jul 18, 2002
Heh.
-
The Top 10.25 Things Women (genders 1-2.5) Don’t Know About Men (genders 3-5)
Jul 17, 2002
Love Advice for Extraterrestrials, from the redoubtable but unquestionably masculine (in an extraterrestrial sort of way) Xortar Cheemchim, as published in Ranflax Planet 9’s most prominent women’s magazine (in Ranflaxian, the title of the magazine would be “grandmother(1.5)'s tri-shrimp puddin'” or “creem uk lanba lanba hroot,” but it’s a tonal language, so don’t even try or you’ll end up accusing someone of having a labia filled with cottonwood trees).
-
The Beautiful Weather
Jun 27, 2002
David Fremington describes a day 8 years ago.
-
Waiting for the Bang
Jun 23, 2002
A Sunday night walk down Court St.
-
Administrative Tomfoolery
Jun 19, 2002
A place for all the things that need a place.
-
Afternoon of Albums
Jun 13, 2002
Reflections on the music I listened to this afternoon, and the afternoon albums of two friends.
-
Meditative Simulated Cross-Country Skiing
Jun 11, 2002
Coney island, snacks, and anger.
-
Track 1: Billy Goats, Angels, Anarchists, Monsters
Jun 10, 2002
The first track from the album “Oat Songs in the Dropsy.”
-
The Sacred Womanhood of Brooklyn
Jun 9, 2002
Respect and fear while waiting for the gym.
-
Manual
May 23, 2002
A collection of writing, created by a variety of folk, and pleasant to look upon, is released to the world in a digital format.
-
Notes from a Road Trip
May 7, 2002
Oklahoma, Memphis, and Bucksnort, Tennessee
-
Very Important Update
Apr 9, 2002
A very important update regarding Ftrain.
-
Palestinian Voices, via Indymedia
Mar 31, 2002
Some MP3s to listen to.
-
March/April Hiatus
Mar 13, 2002
Ftrain is on shore leave for a while.
-
Place as Noplace, and 3D, and Geometry
Mar 11, 2002
Paul Ford used a machine to define the way shadows fell, and thus to fool eyes into believing that something existed which did not.
-
The Grateful Wretch 2: Facing the Camera
Mar 9, 2002
A photo session.
-
The Grateful Wretch
Mar 9, 2002
Paul Ford has his picture taken.
-
New York City
Mar 2, 2002
It’s a happenin’ town.
-
Location
Mar 1, 2002
Place in three dimensions.
-
Time
Mar 1, 2002
The fourth dimension of place.
-
Time Wrapper
Mar 1, 2002
What happened in the future.
-
Answering Machine Message
Feb 28, 2002
From my friend Melanie Darning.
-
A Blatant but Heartfelt Promotion
Feb 26, 2002
Steve Burns, some new music, and familiar squirrels that have learned to sing.
-
Anthologies
Feb 23, 2002
Collections of words, images, sounds, cooing birds.
-
Please Send Me Your Favorite Poem
Feb 23, 2002
So I can put it in an online anthology.
-
Robot Exclusion Protocol
Feb 22, 2002
A story about the Google of the future.
-
How to put a whole harmonica in your mouth
Feb 22, 2002
Not recommended for larger, chromatic harmonicas.
-
Some More Birds in Brooklyn
Feb 22, 2002
They lead civic activities, and some are friends.
-
The Fiddler of Dooney
Feb 19, 2002
Folk dance like a wave of the sea.
-
A Musical, and Political, Bird
Feb 18, 2002
He is, in addition to being a musician, a strident progressive, and has persistently encouraged the other birds to be more accepting of the pigeons, among whom he ranks many of his closest friends.
-
Reader Feedback on Fragmented Year
Feb 16, 2002
Perhaps someone who is in the field of research of mental illness would be interested in your work.
-
Candy
Feb 13, 2002
2 artifacts from the day.
-
Fragmented Year
Feb 12, 2002
I keep a file called messages on my computer that holds all my phone conversations, story ideas, quotes, and phone numbers. I add to it as the days go by, when I’m working. It’s over a year old, and 32,000 lines long. This is a collage made from bits of it.
-
Game for Small Sounds
Feb 11, 2002
A piece I wrote with words of one sound each. No more, and of course no less (or else there’d be no sound at all).
-
The Grateful Wretch 1: Pre-shoot
Feb 10, 2002
I must be doing something right.
-
From the Universal Self-Instructor of 1883
Feb 7, 2002
It is rude to stare at ladies in the street.
-
Special Feature: the Worst Illustration of Studs Terkel
Feb 6, 2002
I was trying to create an image for my piece on the Terkel, a unit of self-worth.
-
Life in Terkels
Feb 6, 2002
Measuring your life as a ratio to Studs
-
5 February 2002
Feb 4, 2002
Some moments of recall.
-
Anticipated Essays
Feb 3, 2002
An experiment, in which I write things over time, slowly, perhaps, eventually, the slowest writing ever.
-
Some Birds in Brooklyn
Jan 28, 2002
A vision of circling creatures, which can be recreated by machine.
-
Reader Services FAQ
Jan 28, 2002
What are Ftrain Reader Services? Why don’t they work?
-
Some Miscellaneous Ideas
Jan 28, 2002
Some ideas which came out of some programming and problem-solving exercises. Half-coherent.
-
Future Plans for Reader Services
Jan 28, 2002
Where I’d like to take Ftrain. Some options.
-
Ftrain Reader Services Help
Jan 27, 2002
Advice for particular features in Reader Services
-
To a Squirrel at Kyle-na-gno
Jan 27, 2002
A poem on squirrels.
-
Erase Yourself
Jan 26, 2002
Erase your reader record and start again.
-
Ftrain Privacy Statement
Jan 26, 2002
I watch your every move, but you remain a number disconnected from flesh and life.
-
Create weblog link to this page
Jan 26, 2002
Create a link to a given page that links back to your own site
-
Save Yourself
Jan 26, 2002
Save your reader record via a bookmark
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Take Note
Jan 26, 2002
Take a short note on a page.
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My Musical Career
Jan 18, 2002
I wore opposing stripes. She wore a Tina Turner wig. Osgood glued my hair to his chest.
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A Sense of Place
Jan 5, 2002
Dimensions, voices, sound, time, language.
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Why are robots so fascinating?
Jan 2, 2002
A collection of random notes on works in progress.
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Holiday
Dec 18, 2001
Ftrain on Holiday
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Beyond Black Dogs and Mice
Nov 14, 2001
A survey of creatures which foreshadow depression, and their literary origins.
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“Paper or plastic?”
Nov 11, 2001
at Alfalfa’s Natural Foods in Boulder. Stealthily, divulge I, plastic.
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Miracle of Slow
Nov 11, 2001
A tri-bladed fan at the far lee of a warehouse, parting sun- shine out. Cat’s pause be- fore pouncing.
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Burnished Child
Nov 11, 2001
over the river bridge inside The Boulder Library, very near closing, holds a cookie cratered by this sun- down glow. Much proves miracle enough, and then the light.
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On Starbucks Patio, Boulder
Nov 11, 2001
A conversation away from the office is sluggish- ly turning personal, remaining, though, formal. The Masque of the Pro- fessional is natural- y not created here.
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Eben Fine Park, Boulder
Nov 11, 2001
Kayakers don’t like tubers, teen boys, all arms and legs joyously spun down rapids, barechested, in cutoffs or board shorts. Appropriately repellent, helmeted, these kayak guys seem to feel they’re in The Aberdeen Proving Grounds of middle-aged manhood.
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Boulder Poems
Nov 11, 2001
A small collection of poems about Boulder, CO.
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WPA
Nov 11, 2001
built the University of Colorado Library. Conservatives seared it as wasteful-- federal makework for lay- abouts, etc.
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Cruel, So?
Nov 11, 2001
Outside a Social Service Building, a fat woman waves. Her clothes, too, wave in wider interference, like tablecloths shaken.
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She rocks
Nov 11, 2001
her platform sandals, (hearing as a dear expense) placing ONE, then the OTHER in peril- ous ankle mode. He descants, not glancing at her tilt- ing tits.
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Baffling Cuteness
Nov 4, 2001
Exploring, and respectfully interpreting, the artifacts of another culture
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Message inside the front door
Oct 27, 2001
A cheering note.
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Wish you were here!
Oct 16, 2001
A postcard.
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Graveyard
Oct 15, 2001
Where stories go to die.
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Failure to Execute
Oct 14, 2001
Ideas and concepts that I hoped would get off the ground, but didn’t.
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Early Abominations
Oct 14, 2001
From 1997-1998, the worst of Ftrain.
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Later Abominations
Oct 14, 2001
Awful writing from 1999 on, when I should have known better.
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Regarding the November, 2000 Presidential Election
Oct 11, 2001
A consortium of news organizations has decided, in the wake of terrorist attacks on America, not to publish the results of an analysis of the November, 2000 Presidential Election voting in Florida.
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More stories prior to the heat death of the universe
Oct 11, 2001
More whatever.
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Operation Wild Badger
Sep 29, 2001
Introducing a wee device for the creation of names for U.S. military operations.
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Run From Ground Zero
Sep 16, 2001
A narrative of my last few days in Israel, of watching the WTC, then losing my job, then holding the walls, then wanting to help, then giving up, then feeling hope, then giving up again, and on and on.
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Evolution
Sep 4, 2001
A message from the Ftrain metaphor control committee.
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“500,000 Kilowatts of Stardust”
Sep 3, 2001
Gene, Debbie, and Donald teach me about art
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Ivrit
Sep 2, 2001
Voices, and sounds, and sleeping.
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Blah
Aug 27, 2001
Basically, I suck.
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Ftrain Codebase
Aug 14, 2001
The bits and pieces that go into making this the finest personal site on Planet Z.
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Phone Call
Jul 23, 2001
A silver fox, an achromatic bear.
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Guilty Hair
Jul 14, 2001
We’ll forget her, and him, soon enough.
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Body of Language
Jul 9, 2001
A late-night series of thoughts on names.
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Eyewitness Noise: 2 July 2001
Jul 1, 2001
AI, Canada, Kendall, Israel, and Zithromax
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Characters and Simulation
Jul 1, 2001
A brief idea about characters in Web-fiction
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People I appear, unintentionally, to be ripping off
Jun 30, 2001
After I wrote the piece one level up, on SimCity and Narrative, I did some keyword searches on Google and found the following essays, which I will read when I have a bit of time, learning as I go how my ideas are unoriginal, lame, and long-ago-disproven. The fun of weak scholarship!
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Running the Machine
Jun 27, 2001
Under the hood of Ftrain.com
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Images from in and around Manhattan, NYC
Jun 26, 2001
La van, a man, a plan, a bird, Dr. Ibañal Panama, Naval!
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Elegy
Jun 21, 2001
This poem hung on my wall for years, until I began to look a little like it.
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George Washington as seen by William Carlos Williams
Jun 19, 2001
From “George Washington” in In the American Grain, a collection of essays by William Carlos Williams, © 1933, (pp 142-144).
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Canon of Classifieds
Jun 12, 2001
Author ISO meaning; will travel.
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Context and Web-memory
Jun 10, 2001
This is a summary of my technical background, and if you don’t care about things like databases and XML, skip it.
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Photos from a Day in Jerusalem
Jun 7, 2001
A small collection of photos and captions.
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Guns and Moses
Jun 7, 2001
Commerce in Jerusalem.
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Bethesda
Jun 7, 2001
The springs where Jesus healed the sick
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Stopping by Sharon’s, then ascending to Zion
Jun 7, 2001
It’s really just a big hill.
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The Church of the Holy Sepulchre
Jun 7, 2001
Where Jesus was crucified, dead, and buried, and where, on the third day...
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Soldiers, Muslims, Coca Cola
Jun 7, 2001
IDF Soldiers are everywhere in Jerusalem, some young and nervous, others cocksure, others standing with old, cynical posture, all seemingly under 22.
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Around the Temple
Jun 7, 2001
The Al Aqsa mosque, the Western Wall, an archeological dig
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The Compliment
May 31, 2001
Making the statement.
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Compression
May 27, 2001
Blocks and unblocks
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Eyewitness Noise
Apr 30, 2001
Various news scraps from the world of the Ftrain
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50 Lira
Apr 21, 2001
A story suggested by my 1970’s drug-abuse-encouraging porn-movie bathroom
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Getting back to Israel
Apr 19, 2001
Exercising my Flight of Return
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Sirens, Water, Land
Apr 18, 2001
A inquisitive sketch relating to certain historical incidences and their current cultural manifestations, ending with news of a bountiful resource in our mental landscape.
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Fictional Eavesdropping
Apr 17, 2001
What they talk about when they talk in Hebrew
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The bedroom and the world outside
Apr 15, 2001
2/3 of the world is stories; the rest is sleep.
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A Month in Savion
Apr 5, 2001
I went back to Israel to work on an Artificial Intelligence project from April 6-May 6, 2001
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Emacs Notepad
Mar 18, 2001
Make emacs tell time, open files quickly, and talk to Perl.
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Jealousy and Literature
Mar 17, 2001
Pet Van Sommers explains his feelings about analyzing jealousy through the lens of literature; from his 1988 book Jealousy.
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The Titles of Web Publications Rendered as Something Like Poetry
Mar 16, 2001
Can a narrative be created using only Web site names? You’ll soon see, the answer is “no.”
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Google Search, 12:35 AM
Mar 14, 2001
Online, revenge is forever
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Half-assed Homecoming
Mar 11, 2001
Returning for just a moment in the larger travels.
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Linear Journal
Feb 28, 2001
Daily automatic meanderings
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Internet Culture Review
Feb 26, 2001
A reply to Thomas Frank’s One Market Under God. A quick explanation of how Cyberculture transformed into the New Economy, and then into - poof! “TV news can be safely ignored forever.”
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The Book of Joshua, Chapter 10
Feb 18, 2001
The sun stands still in the sky.
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to explain myself
Feb 14, 2001
the risks of the metafiction lifestyle
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4 hours in Jerusalem
Feb 14, 2001
In through Jaffa Gate; I don’t remember where we came out.
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Night Flight to Tel Aviv
Feb 12, 2001
The first time out of North America
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Obtaining a Rush Passport in New York City
Feb 8, 2001
Going to offices, riding on trains.
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Bucket of Doggerel
Feb 5, 2001
Sometimes, but not often, I rhyme.
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The Atomistic Machine View of the World
Jan 27, 2001
R. C. Lewontin proposes a third approach to analysis.
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Ego gratification
Jan 26, 2001
The other reason for working on the Web.
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A theory of art
Jan 26, 2001
The concept behind the motivation.
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Why bother creating a Web site like Ftrain?
Jan 26, 2001
A first stab at the answer to that question.
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Notes and Observations on Building a Web Site with XSLT
Jan 9, 2001
Some notes on using XSLT, an XML transformation language, to create Ftrain.com. Probably only fun reading for a certain kind of geek.
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Grandfather
Dec 27, 2000
Stories about my grandfather, whom I wish was still here.
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Recent Transactions Among the Tribes
Dec 19, 2000
This is how the business section of the newspaper sounds to me. You?
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Silicon Alley UpdateLosing the Niche: HeyThereNegro.com
Dec 10, 2000
What’s the news from New York’s hottest economic zone?
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Etymologizer
Dec 6, 2000
A mass-etymological breakdown tool that I’d create if I could, but I can’t.
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Poetry Scanner
Dec 5, 2000
A possible tool to figure out where the accents are.
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Polysemizer
Dec 5, 2000
The mighty Polysemizer, making sure all the words are widely known.
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Box of Ideas for Future Language Toys
Dec 5, 2000
Ideas for web projects, stories, or approaches to cultural understanding which I’d love to implement and make available if I had the time, or brains.
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Two Parallel Content Planets
Nov 30, 2000
With the advent of the web, there appear to be two parallel tracks for the development of content and ideas.
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PAC Evil
Nov 29, 2000
Jim Hightower encapsulates the horror of big money politics in a few paragraphs.
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Thomas Hardy, Roman Ruins, Casterbridge
Nov 26, 2000
A section from The Mayor of Casterbridge that summarizes Hardy’s historical vision - a mix of architectural, archeological, and human history, which humans ignore to their ignorant doom or observe to their eternal sadness. The beginning of Chapter 11, typed in from the Penguin Edition.
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What’s the difference between a liberal and a conservative?
Nov 26, 2000
An extremely clear definition, from Booknotes, 1994
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3 Kinds of Power
Nov 26, 2000
From John Kenneth Galbraith’s The Anatomy of Power, Houghton Mifflin, pp. 4-6.
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Continued Biographic
Nov 24, 2000
More on the author.
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Lapham, Utopia
Nov 21, 2000
A virtuouso lambast of consumption culture from Lewis Lapham.
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Strategy Session
Nov 19, 2000
Selling shoes through violence, and death.
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Addicts
Nov 11, 2000
Scanned Image from 1995
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Identity
Nov 11, 2000
An old logo for my very self, now retired.
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SlideShow
Nov 11, 2000
Images of Past Projects Gone Wrong
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Mirrored Smut
Nov 11, 2000
Image from 1996
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Feller
Nov 11, 2000
Image from 1996
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Deaf
Nov 11, 2000
Image from 1995
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Boots
Nov 11, 2000
Image from 1996
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The Black Bitmapped Ribbon
Nov 11, 2000
Another project gone and done for.
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Are You Mono Blind?
Nov 11, 2000
I have absolutely no recollection why I created this image.
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Boy Painting Self
Nov 11, 2000
Image from 1995
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Colors #2
Nov 11, 2000
Odd image from 1997
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CE Cover
Nov 11, 2000
Cover of the Combined Effect Non-magazine, 1996
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Woman
Nov 11, 2000
A sketch from 1997
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I’ve been trying to make sense of narrative’s place on the web
Nov 6, 2000
A resume of sorts—proof that I’m not just making it all up.
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Initial Thoughts about Narratives
Nov 6, 2000
Results of a a brainstorming session.
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Documents Indicate...
Nov 1, 2000
Ford motor company has damaged my brand equity, so I’m suing. This is, for those who have a little trouble with the concept and have seen fit to send me death threats, a joke.
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Rub it and Love it
Nov 1, 2000
Cookery and love, love, love
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Literary Aspirations, Confession of
Nov 1, 2000
The author comes out of his closet full of books.
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About
Nov 1, 2000
Ftrain.com is a a collection of interlinked pages, with text, graphics, and links to other digitally encoded media objects.
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Theory
Oct 31, 2000
Ideas about stories, and narratives. Often vague, due to the author’s stunning ignorance.
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Story
Oct 31, 2000
Fun-time word-activities in American English.
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Language Machines
Oct 31, 2000
Little Tools for Foolish Wordplay.
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much smarter people
Oct 1, 2000
Who does this thing?
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They told stories to reprogram my brain
Oct 1, 2000
A non-answer to the question: what is cognitive rhetoric?
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Republican National Convention
Aug 2, 2000
I’m trying to unrust my chops, so I wrote down some thoughts on the RNC. It’s hard to connect ideas; I’m struggling with the words.
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Explosion on Ftrain
Jul 26, 2000
Relaunching the Web site.
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Location x 3
Jul 15, 2000
Ask an idiot a simple question, and see what happens.
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The Staten Island Ferry
Jul 10, 2000
For summer days and sweet romance.
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Rockefeller Center
Jul 9, 2000
Good Morning America.
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The Brooklyn Bridge: Upon
Jul 3, 2000
What is it like upon the Brooklyn Bridge, summarized in two paragraphs?
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The Brooklyn Bridge: Below
Jul 3, 2000
The spot below the bridge where they shoot the models.
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The First Self-Interview
Jun 28, 2000
I took myself out to dinner, and we sat down and he interviewed me.
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Bloodlife
Jun 24, 2000
In my modern era, love begins with diagnostics.
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Inline Sections
Jun 10, 2000
This is an example of an inline section
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Yes, I do
Jun 10, 2000
Darn tootin! The rawer the better!
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No, I definitely do not
Jun 10, 2000
And never ask me again!
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Independent Sections
Jun 10, 2000
Independent sections show up on their own lines, indented, with their blurbs printed right below.
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Do you like dirty stories?
Jun 10, 2000
An example of a decision tree.
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I promise not to get weirded out if I see smut
Jun 10, 2000
Originally I wasn’t going to put anything up, but it seemed almost twisted not to pay off the poor bastards who dealt with the silly decision tree.
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No, I don’t know you from Adam
Jun 10, 2000
And Adam doesn’t know me either.
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I work with you or know you in some capacity
Jun 10, 2000
And your paycheck is now just a dream.
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I am over 18
Jun 10, 2000
And I’ve got feathers on my naked parts!
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I am not over 18
Jun 10, 2000
I am just a young’n.
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Iron-clad Legal Copyright
May 4, 2000
You don’t own me, although I am another on of your little toys.
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Touch
May 4, 2000
It’s hard to reach out.
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Lost Weekend
May 1, 2000
I was just fucking with people here, writing nonsense, talking crazy talk.
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Staten Island
Apr 30, 2000
Middling writing about a nice day.
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Cards
Apr 23, 2000
Because you should always share how you feel.
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If Steven Spielberg Directed Porn
Apr 23, 2000
Foolery
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‘Log Frenzy (Abstract)
Apr 10, 2000
Gentle suggestions.
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Giant Robot Construction Kit
Mar 26, 2000
Technological interlude.
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The Ftrain Temporary FAQ
Mar 6, 2000
Out of ideas, I began writing about Ftrain itself. Bad sign.
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My Turing Machine
Mar 6, 2000
I made my own Turing Machine. Or perhaps I am a Turing Machine and I’m just looking in the mirror.
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4 Poems from the First Lines of the Poems Archived at the Poetry Daily Web Site
Feb 21, 2000
Poetry all sliced up, and then put back together.
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The Subway Diary Guide to Self-Loathing
Feb 19, 2000
A guide for getting through those bad days.
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Pundits on Fire in Hell
Feb 17, 2000
Stop telling me how to think!
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My Busy Day
Feb 10, 2000
I have so much to do (includes pictures).
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Ftrain Special Report: London
Feb 7, 2000
Here I am in London....
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Notes for an Essay on Microsoft Word
Feb 4, 2000
Damn the paperclip to hell.
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Amiga 1000
Feb 1, 2000
A love letter to a little white box.
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Audio
Jan 26, 2000
This is me, testing the recording capability on a Linux system, doing an old man’s voice.
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Bartleby the Scrivener
Jan 24, 2000
A Story of Wall Street. Illustrated with contemporary photographs by Paul Ford.
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Interactive Word Machine
Jan 19, 2000
Touch the robot.
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5 Marketing Catastrophes
Jan 15, 2000
All absolutely 100% guaranteed true.
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Alumni Register
Jan 13, 2000
How’m I doin?
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Forthcoming Science Trade Books
Jan 11, 2000
What’s coming from the physics and paleontology set?
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Ftrain 1
Dec 31, 1999
02/99-10/99: Stories about work and faltering relationships. A new, revised version of my life, with more words and more deep needy sadness. Ah. Alas.
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The Subway Diary
Dec 31, 1999
10/97-08/98: Urban fool wanders New York City, records observations. Selections from the Subway Diary, the author’s first, struggling attempt at creating a narrative on the Web. Failed efforts, aborted attempts, self-importance in abundance.
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NYC
Dec 31, 1999
Alone and loveless, go seeking. This is a very small collection of places in New York that resonate with the author.
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Manhattan
Dec 31, 1999
All the money is here.
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Brooklyn
Dec 31, 1999
The Borough of Kings
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Ftrain 2
Dec 31, 1999
01/00-05/00: Perhaps it can be done correctly this time. Selections from Ftrain.com’s second round, the author’s third, slightly-less-struggling (and suddenly database-driven) attempt at creating a narrative on the Web.
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sign
Dec 31, 1999
THE STREET IS TO THE LEFT AND THIS IS THE SIDEWALK. THE CURB IS IN THE MIDDLE.
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request
Dec 31, 1999
Ladies and gentlemen, I am hungry, and I’m selling socks, I’m selling these socks, because I need the money, because I am broken, because I am not your color--but aren’t we all down here together. I am without skill or hope, with no promise for better things.
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Wire 010: Hangover Cure
Dec 31, 1999
I woke up without a hangover at 8am, after four hours of sleep. A few years ago, I used to think, with cosmic import, that I rose so early after drinking binges because I had gotten in touch with some deeper feeling the night before, via the mental state brought on by the lowered inhibitions of the alcohol .
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Wire 009: Pride
Dec 31, 1999
The proud man defends his pride in a bar, at work, and among friends; when he is slandered, when the boss tells him his work is not good, when he is disrespected by others, at every injury, every poke, jab, failed promotion, or slanderous calumny, his chest swells in anger; something unreleasable agitates inside him, throbbing like an infected finger, until he cannot repress it any more, and if he can not strike someone else, some stranger, perhaps he strikes his wife, or at the least he is suddenly cruel to her; and in doing this he reclaims some power from the world. She, the wife of the proud man, has no barrier against his hands, but she has other domains of authority, and so may scream at the children, who listen and mull on her words in quiet fear.
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Wire 008: Backrub
Dec 31, 1999
I am listening to Anita Ward’s song “Ring My Bell. ” This song makes me want to get a bottle of lotion and rub a woman’s back, pressing against the muscles of the shoulders with these large, strong hands, plying the warm flesh of every tender spot with gentle caress, releasing tension slowly, over the course of an hour, and letting my hands slip where they will, until she is riveted in comfort, afloat on my touch.
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Wire 007: A Particularly Unbelievable Moment in the Heinous History of American Race Relations
Dec 31, 1999
In the earlier part of this century, the Bronx Zoo exhibited a Pygmy behind bars.
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Wire 006
Dec 31, 1999
I have to come clean--my name is not Paul Ford. It’s Kat.
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Wire 005
Dec 31, 1999
Hell is not other people. Hell is sitting in your room writing existentialist plays about how hell is other people.
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Wire 004
Dec 31, 1999
Just in case you read Ftrain and you don’t understand, as a legal and voting adult, I take full responsibility for my actions. I’ve been out of the house since I was 15.
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Wire 002
Dec 31, 1999
This is the third spam I’ve received for “Viagra On-Line,” but what I want is saltpeter. How can you be “sex-positive?
- Wire 001 Dec 31, 1999
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Archive
Dec 31, 1999
Prior Iterations of Ftrain, created in blind ignorance but with great hopes, and information on the site itself. My advice, which you should feel free to ignore considering the source, is to start from the very end - to read the new stuff first, when I’d actually learned a little bit about writing, and then if you can stomach it, move backwards.
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Rein, carnation
Jun 27, 1999
A goofy fiction.
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Sampler
Jun 27, 1999
All the things in my head all at once.
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Mirror Only Slightly Angled
Jun 11, 1999
The online journaler, a strange creature of odd habits.
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Tom Baylor, Space Therapist
Jun 8, 1999
He helps extraterrestrials get their shit together.
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Mortar & Expounded Cliche
Jun 7, 1999
Beating my head against a wall.
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Rats Eat Vomit
May 26, 1999
Filthy, filthy, filthy things in NYC
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Shut Up, Paul
May 23, 1999
What he said.
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Monologue
May 17, 1999
Writing on writing about writing. Kill me.
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Hitler’s Brain
May 14, 1999
The truth, finally.
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Ftrain Winter Haiku
May 14, 1999
Some haiku, you.
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The Thing I Do
May 14, 1999
Loving myself, loving you.
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Let’s Make Fun of Dirty Thnirts!
May 9, 1999
People thought this was the dumbest thing I’d ever written, but I love it.
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Created
May 5, 1999
What’s wrong with the world? An attempt at a non-answer in a few short words. Reading over these archives, I want often to say shut up, fellow. Why didn’t I?
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MISTAKE
Apr 30, 1999
Archy comes back for a moment to talk to Don, but doesn’t realize that Don is dead.
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Hmm
Apr 30, 1999
An experimental play.
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Who’s Reading? An Annotated Selection from Yesterday’s Access.Log
Apr 26, 1999
Recipient of the highly coveted Journal Something Award!
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Love Ditty
Apr 24, 1999
Punk rock love. It sucks.
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Wires
Apr 22, 1999
A series of little narratives, all glued together
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Here We Go Again
Apr 18, 1999
I broke up with a girl and had to write for the sympathetic Internet audience about my deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep feelings.
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Fantasy
Apr 18, 1999
A dumb little story with one or two good lines, based on a completely predictable joke.
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Commercial
Apr 17, 1999
Ah well. Sometimes the writing turned to squalorous sloppiness. Here’s a good example.
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The Voice in the Ear
Apr 17, 1999
Talking, talking back, and so on. Taking it all too seriously.
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Art
Apr 12, 1999
An essay on the arts scene and what it meant to me in 1999. Of course, when I’m writing these summaries (mid-2000) I care not at all.
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Citizen Darth
Apr 10, 1999
Trashing the new Star Wars movie. It deserved trashing.
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Trip Home
Apr 1, 1999
Trying to sort things out; an essay with archival value if little merit.
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Cliches, some with Examples
Mar 27, 1999
How many can you spot? And when is a cliche a characteristic?
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Prediction
Mar 25, 1999
The only point of this piece is to demonstrate what a jackass I am.
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Carpoint
Mar 25, 1999
Oh, I am a didactic bastard. What was I trying to accomplish with my mini-lecture on automotive environmentalism?
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Horsetails
Mar 18, 1999
My mother was a puppeteer. It was surprisingly un-scarring.
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Romance
Mar 17, 1999
The sad boy’s sweet sad love and lust.
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Solo in Gray
Mar 17, 1999
Sea Lions in the park. What do my words mean here? I use the word pinnepedal. Why? Oh, God.
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Inner-city Geek Trash Talk
Mar 14, 1999
Dorks is angry
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Wu-Tang Bakery
Mar 14, 1999
What they cook at the Wu-Tang bakery.
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Litany
Mar 13, 1999
A sad whine about work, written in the “high amateur” style that so much of my prose favors.
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An Ending of Sorts
Mar 9, 1999
Closure on the Internet
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Montclair
Mar 9, 1999
Around now in the project I was grasping for ideas. It was a painful process. I was not just out of ideas; I was out of life
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Satya’s Dog
Mar 6, 1999
A poem about a stinky dog.
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I Believe (a comic gothic, first draft)
Feb 25, 1999
A little fiction with a high “yeah, whatever” quotient
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Arrival
Feb 23, 1999
An argument with the moms, circa 1980something.
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Overdue
Feb 22, 1999
A little apology to a woman who’s long, long gone.
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First Day
Feb 22, 1999
So now, I decided to become autobiographical. I thought I’d write my whole life’s story in about 3 hours, but I didn’t get far. Here’s the first piece.
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His First Screen Appearance
Feb 21, 1999
He tinks, he winks
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Apnea
Feb 3, 1999
Another on the death of my grandfather. He was a good fellow. I miss him.
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Tracking My Changes
Feb 1, 1999
A few absolutely shitty literary thoughts.
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After
Jan 31, 1999
The first in a series about my dying grandfather. Death; it’s something no writer can leave be.
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My Pals Sonic Youth
Jan 26, 1999
A visit to the concert hall.
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Before
Jan 25, 1999
A moment of waiting for the emotions to settle.
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Meeting Sally Field
Jan 23, 1999
I met Sally Field, and found that she was mortal, and could not shoot laser beams from her eyes.
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My Favorite Variable
Jan 22, 1999
Geeking out.
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Sign/Request
Jan 18, 1999
A little story and a little sign, neither one of much note.
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Meandering Entry
Jan 17, 1999
Dreams and what dreams are and aren’t and oh God, I’m so deep, I’m the deepest man you’ll ever meet, won’t you please get in touch and tell me how deep I am. God help my poor readers.
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Taste for Today
Jan 16, 1999
A wee stylistic experiment without much bearing on any larger reality.
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Study Hall
Jan 4, 1999
Working and what it’s like to work and whatever.
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Burden
Jan 3, 1999
Sick of writing, I write about being sick of writing. Result? The audience is sick of me.
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Small
Jan 2, 1999
A New York moment of no note.
-
11 Aug 98
Aug 10, 1998
Acting my age
-
08 Aug 98
Aug 7, 1998
I Never Left My Heart There
-
07 Aug 98
Aug 6, 1998
Gym
-
06 Aug 98
Aug 5, 1998
A Visit to the Vet
-
04 Aug 98
Aug 3, 1998
Total Systems Failure
-
29 Jul 98
Jul 28, 1998
Little Bastard/Story/List
-
28 Jul 98
Jul 27, 1998
Holocaust
-
27 Jul 98
Jul 26, 1998
Pony!
-
26 Jul 98
Jul 25, 1998
Recap
-
25 Jul 98
Jul 24, 1998
Day Four
-
20 Jul 98
Jul 19, 1998
Poetry in Perspective I
-
19 Jul 98
Jul 18, 1998
My Pals
-
17 Jul 98
Jul 16, 1998
Fact/New Friend
-
16 Jul 98
Jul 15, 1998
General Truthful Administrative Paul Ford Update
-
15 Jul 98
Jul 14, 1998
Faith Revisited
-
13 Jul 98
Jul 12, 1998
Do you Like the New, Red Subway Diary?
-
11 Jul 98
Jul 10, 1998
Some (Babbling) Thoughts about Web Diaries and Journals
-
09 Jul 98
Jul 8, 1998
Name Your Poison
-
06 Jul 98
Jul 5, 1998
How I came to New York I
-
05 Jul 98
Jul 4, 1998
A day for “Bob”
-
04 Jul 98
Jul 3, 1998
God bless it, Amen! I have taken this flag and pressed it to my chest and it has come out the other side.
-
03 Jul 98
Jul 2, 1998
Breaking Up
-
02 Jul 98
Jul 1, 1998
Memo to the other 98%
-
27 Jun 98
Jun 26, 1998
Family Planning
-
Statement of Faith
Jun 24, 1998
Written at age 14, my official indoctrination
-
24 Jun 98
Jun 23, 1998
A Thing to Do
-
23 Jun 98
Jun 22, 1998
Life Shift
-
22 Jun 98
Jun 21, 1998
Microsoft Trampoline 2.0
-
21 Jun 98
Jun 20, 1998
January 1, 2000: The Millennium Bug
-
17 Jun 98
Jun 16, 1998
Army
-
14 Jun 98
Jun 13, 1998
I’ll Send Money When I Can 1
-
03 Jun 98
Jun 2, 1998
7 June 1998 (Departure Point) 1
-
02 Jun 98
Jun 1, 1998
Paging Tom Peters
-
Superstition vs Science
May 30, 1998
That werewolf is hitting those grapes. From May, 1998.
-
30 May 98
May 29, 1998
The National Interior Monologue on Race
-
26 May 98
May 25, 1998
Delivery
-
25 May 98
May 24, 1998
Some Personal Prose History
-
The Subway Diary: 24-May-98
May 23, 1998
Trite Truisms From a Trip to See My Grandfather
-
22 May 98
May 21, 1998
Workplace Diary
-
April 9, 1976
May 20, 1998
Someone will point out a failing, push my gyroscope six degrees to the left.
-
19 May 98
May 18, 1998
Memory Brief
-
14 May 98
May 13, 1998
A Straighforward Philosophy
-
13 May 98
May 12, 1998
The Writing Life
-
Relapse
May 11, 1998
Just how it happened.
-
09 May 98
May 8, 1998
The Way People Are
-
08 May 98
May 7, 1998
All by my lonesome
-
02 May 98
May 1, 1998
Dumb weekend
-
That Was Some Experiment
Apr 30, 1998
Ftrain author really a commie!
-
27 Apr 98
Apr 26, 1998
Phone Call (1)
-
26 Apr 98
Apr 25, 1998
You Don’t Own Me
-
25 Apr 98
Apr 24, 1998
Career Change
-
24 Apr 98
Apr 23, 1998
Pickup Lines That Fail
-
23 Apr 98
Apr 22, 1998
Smutty Essay
-
20 Apr 98
Apr 19, 1998
I’m Sorry I Couldn’t Stay Here With You, I’ve Been Troubled by a Lot Of Chickens Running Around in the Studio
-
19 Apr 98
Apr 18, 1998
All the Old Letters
-
17 Apr 98
Apr 16, 1998
Cover Letter
-
15 Apr 98
Apr 14, 1998
The End of My Speechwriting Career
-
14 Apr 98
Apr 13, 1998
A Force of Darkness Expelled
-
13 Apr 98
Apr 12, 1998
Poems for Young Capitalists
-
12 Apr 98
Apr 11, 1998
Easter entry
-
10 Apr 98
Apr 9, 1998
A High Station in Life
-
08 Apr 98
Apr 7, 1998
I Face Global Banking for the Very First Time
-
07 Apr 98
Apr 6, 1998
Shelter
-
06 Apr 98
Apr 5, 1998
Jim Esch Appreciation Week
-
Overheard
Apr 2, 1998
Mandatory eavesdropping.
-
The Subway Diary: 02-Apr-98
Apr 1, 1998
Combinations
-
Traveling
Mar 28, 1998
My first experience with business travel
-
Haiku Train
Mar 26, 1998
I Overheard These on the 5-7-5
-
25 Mar 98
Mar 24, 1998
Drunken Entry
-
20 Mar 98
Mar 19, 1998
Another Literary Error
-
16 Mar 98
Mar 15, 1998
Possible Books
-
15 Mar 98
Mar 14, 1998
Airplane Woes
-
14 Mar 98
Mar 13, 1998
Brought to you by the letter...
-
13 Mar 98
Mar 12, 1998
More Reader Response
-
12 Mar 98
Mar 11, 1998
Reader Response
-
11 Mar 98
Mar 10, 1998
Still a little stressed out over the abduction.
-
09 Mar 98
Mar 8, 1998
Abduction
-
08 Mar 98
Mar 7, 1998
Prayer
-
06 Mar 98
Mar 5, 1998
Day off.
-
05 Mar 98
Mar 4, 1998
Bits of Food
-
04 Mar 98
Mar 3, 1998
A doodle on a grim day
-
03 Mar 98
Mar 2, 1998
Terrible Literary Error
-
02 Mar 98
Mar 1, 1998
On Vacation
-
27 Feb 98
Feb 26, 1998
A Picture
-
25 Feb 98
Feb 24, 1998
A Day
-
24 Feb 98
Feb 23, 1998
Slight return
-
16 Feb 98
Feb 15, 1998
Songs from the Cold War
-
15 Feb 98
Feb 14, 1998
The Coming War
-
13 Feb 98
Feb 12, 1998
Bad Dream
-
12 Feb 98
Feb 11, 1998
A review of Negativland’s DISPEPSI
-
Angels in the Stomach
Feb 10, 1998
Age 15, West Chester, Pennsylvania
-
09 Feb 98
Feb 8, 1998
Lazy boy weepy boy whiny boy.
-
08 Feb 98
Feb 7, 1998
As I’m writing these little blurbs, I’m listening to Elliott Smith, and he sings about the Ftrain. Good to see the kids rocking out. This is about work angst, of course.
-
04 Feb 98
Feb 3, 1998
A plastic teddy bear and whores.
-
03 Feb 98
Feb 2, 1998
Holiday joy.
-
02 Feb 98
Feb 1, 1998
Celebrate the real meaning of Groundhog Day.
-
31 Jan 98
Jan 30, 1998
Workplace Limericks
-
30 Jan 98
Jan 29, 1998
The Devil is Contentious
-
28 Jan 98
Jan 27, 1998
The Further Adventures of Captain of Industry
-
26 Jan 98
Jan 25, 1998
Bad Alternative Song Lyrics
-
The Subway Diary Analyzes Current Events
Jan 23, 1998
Figuring out using our patented psychoanagrammatical method
-
23 Jan 98
Jan 22, 1998
Aliens and Ghosts
-
22 Jan 98
Jan 21, 1998
Sarah McLachlan
-
The Subway Diary: 20-Jan-98
Jan 19, 1998
First Person Photo/Third Person Lithograph
-
Real Things, Said by Real People
Jan 18, 1998
You tame your own donkey, okay?
-
Cross-cultural Romance
Jan 16, 1998
Ooblat love can be so sad
-
The Islamic Republic of Dogs
Jan 15, 1998
“We are going to war with the Irish! We will cast out the Leprachauns!”
-
A Case of Religion
Jan 12, 1998
Crazy teen Christian culture
-
12 Jan 98
Jan 11, 1998
Fordian Analysis
-
The Perfect Sentence
Jan 10, 1998
Can the perfect sentence be defined? Can you arrive at it? I took a trip to find out.
-
10 Jan 98
Jan 9, 1998
Nostalgia, 2030 AD
-
The Subway Diary: 07-Jan-98
Jan 6, 1998
Narrative surrealism at its worst.
-
The Poetry Converter
Jan 3, 1998
Finally, something that understands poetry
-
NoMoPoMo!
Jan 2, 1998
Absolutely None
-
The Subway Diary: 02-Jan-98
Jan 1, 1998
The Remaining 5,000 Verses Have Not Been Included for Space Reasons
-
New Years, Pearls
Dec 30, 1997
I went over and touched the pearls. “Are they real?” “No.”
-
Seeing Sound/Synthesis
Dec 27, 1997
I was losing my mind thinking about sine waves.
-
Social Life
Dec 26, 1997
They come; they see me; they have their own lives to attend to
-
The Subway Diary: 26-Dec-97
Dec 25, 1997
Craig Roberts Watches Television
-
The Subway Diary: 25-Dec-97
Dec 24, 1997
Eggnography
-
Baker’s Dozen
Dec 22, 1997
Your mom’s so fat she wears a cross-your-knees bra.
-
The Subway Diary: 21-Dec-97
Dec 20, 1997
Fulton Mall
-
Manhood, 1994
Dec 19, 1997
Copper John
-
(Discussions with an) Insurance Agent
Dec 18, 1997
What if my sister is massacred by hobgoblins?
-
16 Dec 97
Dec 15, 1997
This is a bad short story; it was an attempt to be kind of clever, and an attempt to—oh, well, fuck it.
-
How the NEA bit the dust
Dec 14, 1997
Written in the froth of deep Helms-hating.
-
The Subway Diary: 14-Dec-97
Dec 13, 1997
Diary of a young actor
-
13 Dec 97
Dec 12, 1997
Old cover letter
-
The Yahoo.com Internet Party in SoHo
Dec 9, 1997
...and how I used it to get sloppy drunk
-
Geek Rhapsody
Dec 7, 1997
Laboring under the mysterious watchful eye of the Guru Meditation error.
-
Alone for the Holidays
Dec 6, 1997
Thanksgiving, at a movie theater. The woman behind me bursts out in tears.
-
06 Dec 97
Dec 5, 1997
Merry Christmas (Running From Paramilitary Fundamentalists)
-
No Baby
Dec 4, 1997
Avoiding the child.
-
Nice Girls
Dec 2, 1997
Mom and I on the phone.
-
Family Snapshot
Dec 1, 1997
Beginning to understand my grandfather will die.
-
Beware Cereal Addiction
Nov 29, 1997
Save our children from this encroaching horror.
-
29 Nov 97
Nov 28, 1997
Quick Visit With an Old Friend
-
28 Nov 97
Nov 27, 1997
Disposing of Evidence
-
27 Nov 97
Nov 26, 1997
New Nikes, Shot into the Stars
-
How I Broke Up With My Long-Term Girlfriend
Nov 25, 1997
Summarizing the long-distance end.
-
Career Development Revisited
Nov 23, 1997
Coming back once more
-
An Anagram for the Lord’s Prayer
Nov 22, 1997
Each letter switched.
-
Your Meter May Vary
Nov 20, 1997
My early literary experience.
-
The Subway Diary: 18-Nov-97
Nov 17, 1997
Ronald Reagan Rhapsody
-
The Subway Diary: 13-Nov-97
Nov 12, 1997
Bad Apples Ruining My Day
-
Galaxie 500
Nov 11, 1997
Industrial punk memories
-
Not Dungeons and Dragons!
Nov 9, 1997
Drinking and twelve-sided dice - a dangerous combination, 1997
-
Career Development: an Artist
Nov 6, 1997
Career Development is important to a young fellow’s growth.
-
06 Nov 97
Nov 5, 1997
A lunchtime discussion.
-
The Subway Diary: 05-Nov-97
Nov 4, 1997
A song about chicks who love drugs.
-
04 Nov 97
Nov 3, 1997
Boogie Nights
-
Relationship Babbling
Nov 1, 1997
The topic of discussion is no longer valid.
-
The Subway Diary: 01-Nov-97
Oct 31, 1997
Occasioned by the Not-so-great Stock Market Crash of 1997
-
Big Mistakes and How I Cope with Them
Oct 29, 1997
Screwing up at work.
-
Relationship Whining
Oct 26, 1997
So sad, so sad. From the Subway Diary, 27-Oct-97.
-
Auf Wiedersehn, Scheide
Oct 24, 1997
A story of loss and sadness, and the absence of sex, and Kathie Lee, and milky thighs, and so forth.
-
Pissing my Pants at Work
Oct 22, 1997
A sad, true tale of workplace shame.
-
Urban, Boolean
Oct 20, 1997
New York City as a Boolean Algebra problem; also the first piece ever written for Ftrain, at the tender age of 22.
-
A Tent in the Arctic
Sep 30, 1997
The story of my life, in dribs and drabs.
- The Tour
-
Mortuary Science
My parents divorced in 1987; thay bought cemetery plots a year earlier. Neither has bothered to change the location of these snatches of ground.
-
Phosphorescence
You’re like the lights I see in my head when I turn too fast. They break apart at the edges of my vision the moment they appear.
- gl_cred
- 0h30m w/...
-
Recorded Entertainment
Notes, etc.
- gl_drawer
- gl_drops
- gl_plagues
- gl_weather
- gl_agent
- orgeborges_elegy
-
Mail
Email newsletter posts from Substack, May-June 2020.
- Science
- SciFi
- Sci- Fi
- Schools
- The Mystery of Consciousness
- Saunders,George
- Sauce
- Sarcasm
- Santa
- SVG
- Russia
- Running
- This Universe
- ThomasHardy
- ThorstenVeblen
- Roles
- Rockstar the Cat
- Tibet
- Time
- Toilets
- TonyCalderone
- TortoiseShell
- Township
- Toys
- Travel
-
Traversals
A list of things which traverse other things, and the things they traverse.
- Robots
- RobertLenkiewicz
- Robert Herrick
- US-IraqConflict
- U S Iraq Conflict2003
- U.S. Presidents
- Unclassifiable
- Robert Frost
- Unions
- RichardCLewontin
- The United States of America
- Unix
- Unsorted Topics
- Video
- Rhetoric
- Violence
- Visualization
- Where People Live
- W 9th St.
- Remediation
- Religion
- Reference
- War
- Red Hook
- WaterWay
- ReasonstoKill
- Web Culture
- WebDevelopment
- WebNarrative
- Reasons To Kill Myself
- WebProgramming
- WebSearch
- Web Sites
- Web Standards
- WebWriting
- Weblog
- Weblogs
- West Chester
- WestonCann
- Radio Programs
- Racism
- WilliamJames
- Woman
- Wordnet
- WorkerRights
- Writing
- Wyeth Chemicals
- XML
- XSL-FO
- XSLT
- YHWH
- RachelLange
- York St. NYC MTA Subway Stop
- Zairja
- Zines
- Race
- RSS
- ROwens
- RDFS
- RDF
- Quotes
- Queens
- Puns
- What Uses Which Publishing Software?
- Publishing
- Publications
-
Reproduced from the Public Domain
Content which has the Public Domain copyright either was created in the public domain or has an expired copyright, and may be reproduced freely by any interested party.
- Proverbs
- Prospect Park
- Stories
-
Anarchist Tech to Learn
Just leaving this here because it rules. I have enormous respect for Benn Jordan as an independent research and journalist, too.
- Prolog
- Programming
- All the Links
- Programmers
- Presidential Election 2004
- Postmodernism
- Politics
- Police
- Poetry
- Poets
- Poems
- Plushies
- Places
- Physics
- Photographers
- Photo Essays
- Photos
- Philosopher
- Ochs,Phil
- PetervanSommers
- Personal Web Sites
- PersonalWebSit
- Personal Essays
- Personal
- Human Beings
- Pennsylvania
- Penguins
- Pedersen,Ted
- Park Slope
- Parallel Universe
- Pants
- Owners
- Other
- OralHistory
- Operating Systems
- OperatingSystem
- Ontologies
-
Odd Events
Peculiar things, witnessed.
- OctaviaButler
- OWL
- Null
- NuclearWar
- Novel Fragments
- None
- Non Profit Organizations
- Non- Profits
- New York City
- New York
- New Mexico
- Narrative Structure
- NarrativeStruct
- Narrative
- NYCMassTransit
-
NPR’s All Things Considered
http://www. npr.
- The North American Review and Miscellaneous Journal
- Mustard
- Allah
- Music
- Movies
- Mothers
- Monkeys
- Money
- Mind Control
- Mimicry
- Milton Hershey School
- Metaphor
- Media
- Mathematics
- Math
- Mars
- Marketing
- Manufacturer and Builder Magazine
- Manhattan
- Men
- Love
- LongIsland
- LogicProgramming
- Logic
- Locations
- Lobsters
- Literature
- LiteraryTheory
-
Links
Links Related To http://noisebetweenstations. com/personal/weblogs/ http://hoopla.
- Linguistics
- Lies
- Libraries
- Librarians
- LeahMacia
- Leaders
- Law
- Languages
- Knowledge
- Kids
- Journalists
- JorgeLuisBorges
- JohnKennethGalbraith
- JewishCulture
- Jerusalem
- Italy
- Israel
- Is A
- Ironing
- The Internet
- International
- Is A
- Interface
- InteractiveFiction
- Instance
- Insolence
- InformationArchitecture
- InformationAge
- Imperialism
- Images
- Images
- IF
- Hypertexts
- Hungary
- Humor
- Human Behavior
- HudsonRiver
- Holland
- Hoaxes
- History
- Hershey
- Statue of Minerva
-
Graph Narratives
a graph narrative a graph narrative A Graph Narrative is a special case of Hypertext , in which the structure and super-structure of the document is expressed as semantically typed links. Where you might see a book as a set of pages, a Graph Narrative is a set of nodes with connections between them.
- Grants
- Grammar
- Government
- GoreVidal
- Good Web Writing
- GoodWebFiction
- Globalization
- GermanShepherd
- Geographical Bounds
- General Technical
- General Categories
- Gatherings
- Games
- Functional Programming
- Ftrain Work
- FtrainFAQ
-
Ftrain Copyright
Ftrain. com is copyright 1997-2003 .
- Ftrain
- Friends of Animals
- Friendships
- Franklin Street
- Frank O’Hara
- France
- Forms of Expression
- Foreign Policy
- Food
- Fonts
- Flat PSA Project
- Flags
- Filth
- Film
- Fiction
- Women
- Fathers
- Fashion
-
Reproduced Under Fair Use
Content which is reproduced under fair use is published her under the laws regarding fair use of copyrighted materials established by the United States of America. Fair use materials are provided in an educational context in order to foster discussion and awareness among readers of this not-for-profit web site, and no money is ever obtained as a result of their reproduction here.
- FailedRomance
- Facts
- Experiments
- Experience
- Events
- Etexts
- Etext
- Essays
- The Environment
- Things
- Entertainment
- England
- Email Address
- Elephant the German Shepherd
- Editorialists
- Editorials
- Economics
- East River
- The Earth
- Doing Something With My Sorry Life
- Doing Something
- Dogs
- Dogs
- Disgust
- Dentist
- Denmark
- DefaultRel
- Default Descent
- Deer
- Death
- Dean Street
- DanielKeyes
- DUMBO
- DIY
- CultureJamming
- Culture
- Csound
- Cross Streets
- Creation
- Craft
- Court St.
- Copyright Law
- Copyright Holders
- Copyright
- Content Management
- Contains
-
Condiment Wrapper
The Condiment War, and its aftermath.
- Concept
- Computer Games
- CommunicationsTechnology
-
How come Bruce Cockburn stole your front page image?; or, How come you use a Bruce Cockburn CD cover image on your front page?
Hooray for the Public Domain!
- Ways of Communicating
- Commentaries
- Color
-
Connecting Light
A collection of poems by Frank B. Ford
-
4th of July
Ketchup Corvette cradling this winking blonde bangs at the light with my shuddering Dart hey big wink for real? mid shimmers of SUN- OCO & EXXON & GULF & WESTERN CLOTHING SOLD HERE PIZZA KING BEER BURGER BOY WENDYS the para- bolic piss of those Golden Arches & ARBYS fries onions busting through these coarse grains my A- merican Blonde shouldering diesels hiss in stinks of asphalt oil & grease glossy ex- plosions of a thousand cars in shiny black parking lots puddling suns O my America & O my new girl quick inside your own raw wave hey America I’m your native son hanging in there hard in army pants neon-nylon jacket rocking my self-destructing motor in a ***ROUTE 1 ECSTASY*** she’s off @ spectral green stands on the brakes then lays down rubber fishtailing into BUSTERS WATER HOLE her hair snaps acetylene.
-
Against the Deck
she was thin in ways ay she was as thin in places aces were wider, snide reluctant queens and fat jacks held their spots; lots of pain rained on hands and has.
-
The Plain Answer
The logic of a dream is in it, you learn but needn’t then. The walking life cannot play fair with its burden of desire.
-
Ay
There is and is not a rub. It has acquired your wearing thin.
-
Beer and Sandwich On the Road
I’M THE GREATEST POLACK EVER INVENTED WHAT’RE YOU? American.
-
Black Frost
The kiss among diving trees as from the jack-o-lantern house the dread- ful speeches of our other out- wreathing in a cone. Shadows harrowing the stones, we dream ourselves in breath.
-
Bursted
At the library display brown ink, browner-splotched page in application for a pedlar’s license: “gun bursted” and he could thus no longer farm, that one arm hanging useless. Rushing!
-
Calling It a Day
The Surrender to the Fools was effected with mimimum pomp - to their sheerest miff for they had arrived in fool regalia: gowns and suits and hoods and badges, bright chains of office. Instead their capitulators gave wry, exhausted speeches...
-
The Chance
FEW TIMES I CAN AFFORD DELTA I WATCH PARTS OF MY FATHER’S DYING IN HOLLYWOOD FLORIDA CAUSE BIG C GOT HIM OH YEAH NO APPEAL & HE ASKS ME TO FIX UP THE DART GET IT INSPECTED YOU KNOW SO HE CAN DRIVE WHEN HE KNEW HE NEVER WOULD & THEN THE MECHANIC TELLING ME THE ONE EDGEY THING. WASN’T SURE BRAKES’D PASS.
-
Civilization
The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton. --Wellington On the playing fields of Eton I assumed my fair turn in New Haven Yalie bells held us as in a vise, through mine fields since missing the notices haphazardly posted a- mong the swells of cricketeers and footballers, the rise of dust in dusk, cool-edged.
-
Clothesline Visitation
She releases sheets to wind. They snap brilliances rowing the swollen green- blue earth to sudden Him, a nave radiating blacks a- gainst hot, belly- ing waves.
-
Coastal Graveyard in Branford, Connecticut
The frugal spaces as if Yankees embraced the dirt down un- to them. Above, salt-scoured markers rippling in exhaust from DATSUN & McDONALDS.
- Dedication
-
Defining Hope
Let your veins drink where other veins were let. Kneel on stones from whence blood was almost scoured.
-
Dentist
He explains decay in morning light, I phrase colors of the corrugated shed three stories down, changing the language as light changes and when it stops, the words must continue in order to save us. We say too much and yet at a still point are graced.
-
Departure at Twilight
Soft airs raise the women, each face a swinging blaze, their earrings swaying glimmers into cars suspended in a cold liquidity. Sinking to a knee, a gold surrounded man, struck through this first time to his heart of hearts.
-
Directing The Scene
This night river breaks the grasses. I touch air enough to hear children in the fragrances, in the river-wind woods holding seige, their voices fire against the trees.
-
At The Elevation
of the Host St Mary’s paint smell mixed with cloying cold cream + HEAT pipes HAMMERED you out of drifted sleep CLAMMY and there IT is BAD BOY and growing on 12! oh my GOD and what NOW?
-
Farce Averted
Will she live with her little panties here? Walk around in her underwear?
-
From dark the floating
voice where I had gone to feel more alone, thinking I was, and then our sergeant’s words, the straining wind off ropes outside the tent. “You okay now?
-
From the Fishing Pier (Nam Decade)
Far out the surfers start their ride. The day is gloss and wind and wide And I have come to get a rest From Time and Kodachromes of death.
-
Copyright and Acknowledgements
Copyright © 1990, Frank B. Ford.
-
The Hand In the Future
We are composing ourselves as the photographer composes. Our being guided and guiding him and each solely directing such limited chaos making us free in a way of the result.
-
Generation
Joe and Madeline graduated Cornell & went on to Ph (got married) Ds @ NYU. gestured intensively as they rapped a concept till it, surrounded, surrendered.
-
The Grove
Those leaning pines with sparse and floating branches, the sea behind thinned here and there by light: A Japanese print before I’d seen one. Does the scene exist before the artist makes it so?
-
Home
Where I come from we never really lived (so we said and did) and here I’m stranger still for some place won’t answer. There’s pleasure on paths that birds blur ahead.
-
Human Potential
We want the language as a friend who’ll tell a gentle joke We’ll always go out for coffee forgetting to eye the gauges: The leaders must hold this engraved. Well, our own friend’s actual head is gone.
-
In Our Cold Stars
An old car waits in the terrific sun. We turn away a moment to adjust our shapeless clothes and stand for it, the camera, dreaming and haste in our mouths.
-
Kamikazie
means divine wind. On trains the young men carried a ball of rice in leaves, they headlong, reverent, would have the shit blown out of them, war being this sort of capital concern as now a drink by the same name by the same name.
-
Language and the Marketplace
If the particular whore enjoys an icecream cone why blame her? O see can you say she should rather essay honest work for her coin, but’s lacking the mere what?
-
The German Lesson
The women in one camp fucked the guards for toilet paper. (To what base uses do we all etc.?
-
Linking the Miracles
light sung round the chalice and round the priest thrusting up the host, sunbright her face exploding the front row.
-
Living Nonsense
Who can treat the meaning- lessness? No doctor or priest telling you you’re not the first, thrusting whatever text through emptiness of air, that air where you are indeed first: Alpha in the hollows whistling your name.
-
The Matter With Us
It is cold we have made once more narrowing the blaze to this still point to turn and to ponder dispassionately concentrating grains of fire-sung ice keen as the much folded tip of a Japanese sword.
-
Mineral Baths - Bursa, Turkey
Steam lifts to the rotunda, its art of running arabesques around windows thick and old, aswarm with aurioles. Down here the men soon draw apart, spurning visionary air for modesty.
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The Moment
Evening is a river of shadows rushing the trees un- till you hear water and are not sure that it is wind or that dark itself can run. Knowing that you can’t be sure of anything alone then, breathe your question.
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Nighthawks, after Hopper
The world, of course, is dead. It was my father’s as this could be Nickel Charlie’s, the all-night restaurant next to Loew’s Poli in New Haven where he’d repair after the graveyard shift on the Journal-Courier.
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Overheard
I aint no CHURCH person you know what I MEAN? All that STUFF!
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The Peach Boy
I bring my GI Orient and Paul, 4, his dubbed cartoon of Saturday morn- ing monsters in outer space yet he hasn’t much to lose as I exclude Sigmund’s and Carl’s inner-space hardware store cause the play opens with the father discovering this great peach in a stream, and once home the old couple uncover a baby inside as samisens bridge my life in sound back to a small dim room of a Tokyo club where a guy picks a tune from this white baby grand and I’m in raw company alone then, with my girl better and worse I’m tearing at a steak and throwing back Nip- pon beer. Cocksure, but she’s hushing me now, because the guy composes, the pale lid floating inclined on his smoky progressions in my sliding mind the Peach Boy has grown up, is prowling the audience when from his silk, peach light widens over little Paul beautifully glow meets glow.
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The Plan
We go our separate ways to separate our ways to go our ways separate to separate our going to ways of separate ways of going separate we go our separate ways of going separate to our separate ways of separate going to our ways separate we go we separate we go separate to separate to go our separate ways.
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Prayer To My Daughter
What I’d like to have for you is a good liar only he can tell the truth with conviction since evidently he knows what it is as contrasted to his obvious duplicity refusing to lie to himself. So therefore when you have him you really got something true and more solid than an alleged good man like your father who unfortunately doesn’t have a daughter.
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Reply
You said I was pretty that evening of a thousand birds, their wings beat darkly up from your soft mouth, sweeping the moon away. The few who come here now drop at odds.
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Running to Light
the river and the snow are taken by their shadows becoming darkness with a sound searching light: finding the moon it thrashes it to ribbons. Rewound at an eddy then revolving whole and cold.
- Scoring
- Shy
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At Sounion
of a morning woven over stone I bump camera then smock. We share a mist wherein I must refuse, no dreamy photographs desired: my- self and nothing.
- Stream
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Sung To the Tune of Anything At All
The sailor danced the whole insinuated night, went along home, hers, to his dismay. Her apparatus like his own, though greater, he beat to death this epicine coquette.
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The Territory
A current phrase or two having to do with finding oneself. What acquire?
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The Terrorist
I wait as have others. You strike at your wish or may not I know your demands and have al- ways.
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There’ll Always Be Us
Eat beans AMERICA needs the gas, and in the event of nuclear attack, put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. The people’ll save us, yes after all the politicians’ twirling lies, their suck- ing dry the public tit, it’s the love of the people makes light of the world.
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Those Two Again
Snow is crystalgeometrics fused to hood a knobby world. In art things turned are fired to glaze, perfect, caught there right before a crazed drunk wrecks the shop, must be dealt with, giv- en booze and meat to keep his unkempt soul till snow confides once more outside the window, sticks around to smooth hung- over light.
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Three Shortstops
Feat you’ve gotten the intellectual shove: reasons for everything and no love. Corona River You a- nother.
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To Tamzen On Her Fortieth Birthday
Undoubtedly you’ll get this crap from others: Life begins @ 40 etc... you’re not getting older you’re getting better - yeah all the Hallmark cliches showering down to spice the big day up.
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Trio
What has fallen? Most obviously along the wet floor of the woods, trees, but of what human sense, spirit?
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Two Met
Each turns the glow to knife between o hold us dark cupped, sun- set-rimmed. Spin us free when we have drunk this shimmering between.
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At the University
Strutting memorial stones a pigeon fantails between boy scholars untrue to anything might take looking into, girls aswing with a something nothing can propound, bi- cyclists boring under the latest shit on man falling out the window.
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Using Air
of a buttered morning a coed in legwarmers bound for Poly Sci and yet they signal rasping practice boards be- neath an icy glow, ad- junct not to art but pain splayed out after a rag doll flop. The newest anything jives sweaty trial and its impure collapse.
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Viewed as Drama
the war’s a disappointment thus said D. W.
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Visions of the Yale Library
where a sari insinuates scholars, in hunches, eyes above blond glasses diving then to proof as she is by and by the checker, dour enthroned: both subsumed as the doorway widens to mercury noon. At lunch she’ll laugh away a junior’s suave ennui at George and Harry’s, nod on cue, wring teabag a- gainst spoon.
- Way It’s
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Where
the curve flows to become everywhere people walk in fields amid the flaring stones and trees, the grasses described by birds, and each is what touches.
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Young Italian Girl Resting On Her Elbow - Cezanne
Such indolence becomes the light encounter- ing her and him and us. What is the art of years but connecting light?
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Who Cares?
Stories mercifully short
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All a Dither
We all started avoiding him because he made us nervous. I had never thought of how to label his actions until my secretary says “This new printer dithers; I mean it’s supposed to, fills out each little individual letter better that way.
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Amerika by M.
Times melt together. There were lights but I puzzled as to whether they were of the Christmas variety.
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BASIC Program For Capitalism
10 PRINT “I don’t want to hear you’ve been cut back to only half-time! I want a FULL days work out of your lazy ass.
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Big A
Man: Can you help me? DJ: In which regard?
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Chapters 1 and 2
The final disgust of the evening: he shows how his head is fastened with velcro straps. She rips it off his shoulders and locks herself in the bathroom, performing indignities.
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Executive Decision
a: The one they call Jinky, from Accounting? He okayed his early retirement package.
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The Experiment
She is given an entire life in four hours though programming with accelerated hormones, will die of lung cancer at equivalent thirty-one. I arrive, late, missing the birth and more, but get to observe her gangly first kiss.
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Future Dialog
DOCTOR: They’ll say what they wish. Always.
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Introduction
I’m writing a short story. Fine, written a hundred or so, but having just read a critical work on deconstructionism, I need to change something, although my feeling is that I’ve always deconstructed - smashed up the calcified bourgeois everything, or tried to.
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Measure For Measure
Excuse me, but you don’t look the part, no bandoliers, holsters, more of a guy most at home in an athletic jacket, have a beer with at the local Elks. Right, with banker at one elbow and welder at the other etc.
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The Medium
A Robin Leach interviewing a something called a Morgan or Tiffany Something. Great breasts plus the worship of rattan furniture.
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A Tragedy Anent The International Phonetic Alphabet
A couple who pronounced. Everything perfectly, American with a whiff of British.
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The Premium
As mostly everybody knows by now, The Hoeing Zollerns portrays a German farm family which settles in Ireland, uh... inevitable mixups which prove to be so very very funny.
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Revelation
He: Fuckin feathers! Feathers!
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The Surprise
Man: What the bleedin’ hell! Cyclist: Oh I’m so sorry!
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Tug
Sees her in a construction bucket being hoisted up against the sun to a traffic light outside the dental school. Her darkly yellow helmet.
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Two Documents
Well, Diary, these are the human problems. H.
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Untitled
You never cared for hair, or clothes when we met, and the development of style is truly unattractive. It makes talking a tight wire string-tied between two tin measuring cups.
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Taxonomy
Links between people, places, things, and ideas.
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