As my clothes are dry in the microwave, I'm reading "Introducing Chomsky," which has pictures on every page, and typing this entry. At the end of the Chomsky Book, the editors include a picture of Chomsky's office, where the great Linguistic Gnome of MIT hangs a shot of Bertrand Russell, along with a Russell quote:

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

"Would you like to do a little philosophy on me here, kiddo?"

"Yes, Missy, by God, but the unbearable pity is weighing me down.

I've tried a couple of combinations of my own, and the best I've been able to get is:

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for sandwiches, the search for loose women, and unbearable pity for the suffering of Ol' Yeller.