Ftrain, by Paul Ford

Part 1. A very tiny ultra-pleasant robot whale named Hector works as a medical orderly, and discovers some bandages missing from a supply closet. As he has a sterling record regarding bandages, he fears for his professional reputation, so he visits his friends and acquaintances to learn what they might have seen. None of them know where the bandages are, but an oracular, plucked, blurred chicken tells him: go to the east and you will find what your heart desires!

Part 2. On the advice of the chicken, Hector heads east, and wanders into a terrible conflict between the Jailed, the Fauxhawks, the Chefs, the Gypsies, and the Hats. His heart cannot abide such discord, and so he asks each of the warring parties to sit down and talk. After several days of debate, all of those involved are touched by the gentle demeanor of the tiny robot whale, and agree to shelve their differences. A fragile accord is reached.

Part 3. A blimp appears, and disgorges thousands of singing ants.

Part 4. All parties are reconciled, and travel together to a huge celebration. In return for his services, Hector is presented with bandages, and, because he is tired, he is given passage home on the blimp. As a show of respect, a representative of the Donkeys and another representative of the Gypsies escort him. The ants sing the entire way. Back home, Hector replaces the bandages in the storage closet, and goes back about his duties. All is well, and he is never beached.

Part 5. Acknowledgements and Bibliography

P.S. Steve and I are performing our 12-minute musical about a singing squirrel and rat this Friday, September 10. We’d love it if you came.