People complain, still, about the new Star Wars movies being terrible, not up to the standards of the first few, but have you ever considered the gift the director gave to our culture when he failed so profoundly? An entire generation of men who secretly believed in space princesses, ready to waste countless hours on fantasy, suddenly forced to face facts. Lord knows Star Wars is still everywhere, but if the movies had been good it could have been even worse.
Years ago and for no good reason I had special, free tickets to the New York premiere of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, tickets with holograms on them. Regis Philbin was in the audience. After, we had no idea what we'd seen. “It's for the kids,” said my friend, terrified. We felt childish, selfish, ashamed.
For the people who do love those movies, well, it's a net gain that they are kept out of public intercourse for a few hours. Not just Star Wars—think of Transformers II—the amount of children who went unbeaten, the number of vehicles that did not crash into billboards, and in foreign markets, widows left unimmolated, as so much of the world sat slack with eyes half-open and the screen sprayed violent noise all over them. Really. Everyone is happy, and Michael Bay deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. It is the best of all possible worlds.