The woman was printing the hotel bill and she asked me how my stay was. I said, “well, I had a problem. We went right to sleep last night but in the light of morning some disturbing things were seen. My girlfriend's box spring was completely torn open. You could see inside. And the sheets were the wrong size so they fell off, revealing weird brown spots on the mattress. The upholstery on the lounge chair was ripped out, and the desk chair had a huge liquid stain as if someone had urinated all over it and left it to dry. The walls were greasy, and also there was a large smear of human feces across the top of the toilet which my girlfriend discovered. 'My God,' she said then. 'My God.' I see your huge brown eyes growing wide behind your counter. It is an uncomfortable moment for both of us.
“I was here because my flight was canceled. I thought I might have the continental breakfast but I don't want to put anything here into my mouth. I have a full day at the airport. Cinnabon and screaming children.” My eyes said, do not make me ask for a refund. Which she gave me, and we got onto the shuttle bus and left Elk Grove, Illinois.