Ftrain, by Paul Ford

June 2017

Jun 30, 2017

Newport for a weddding; it's a little snug in the car but...

@leahfinnegan Newport for a weddding; it's a little snug in the car but sure
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Jun 30, 2017

A cool game to pitch to kindergarteners....

A cool game to pitch to kindergarteners. twitter.com/...
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Jun 29, 2017

Poll: Leaving for a family trip at 4:30am. Midnight now.

Poll: Leaving for a family trip at 4:30am. Midnight now.
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Jun 29, 2017

That's okay. No matter where you land on the Cafferty/Seger...

@bn2b That's okay. No matter where you land on the Cafferty/Seger spectrum, we can all agree on Gordon Lightfoot.
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Jun 29, 2017

Frampton came alive for your sins.

Frampton came alive for your sins.
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Jun 29, 2017

Well if people don't know TURN THE PAGE then they can...

@bn2b Well if people don't know TURN THE PAGE then they can unfollow this shit and go listen to Silver Bullet Live.
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Jun 29, 2017

And you're like, For God's sake Bob this is a 16-hour bus...

And you're like, For God's sake Bob this is a 16-hour bus ride and I just want to read PASSAGES by Gale Sheehy until we get to Orlando.
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Jun 29, 2017

It's just in that kind of campy romantic sweet spot where...

@csymrl It's just in that kind of campy romantic sweet spot where you gotta give it to Al Stewart.
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Jun 29, 2017

I wonder if you're on the tour bus with Bob Seger and...

I wonder if you're on the tour bus with Bob Seger and you're reading a book he just starts singing “turn the page.”
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Jun 29, 2017

It's so, so good.

@csymrl It's so, so good.
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Jun 29, 2017

Gun sales are down. https://twitter.com/brianklaas/status/88...

Gun sales are down. twitter.com/...
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Jun 29, 2017

It's an Al Stewart kind of day.

It's an Al Stewart kind of day.
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Jun 29, 2017

Much of long-form journalism WOULD be below 1,000 words if...

Much of long-form journalism WOULD be below 1,000 words if they hadn't fired all the editors.
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Jun 28, 2017

We just need to rename it Patch and wait a couple years....

@RickWebb @chrismohney We just need to rename it Patch and wait a couple years. Then it can be ours for a song.
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Jun 28, 2017

I have very high standards.

@davidhsiegel I have very high standards.
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Jun 28, 2017

I just sold this Twitter thread to Verizon.

@chrismohney @RickWebb I just sold this Twitter thread to Verizon.
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Jun 28, 2017

Isn't the food-driven social video strategy at BuzzFeeD...

@fwd @Lee_Ars @mat Isn't the food-driven social video strategy at BuzzFeeD basically oriented around people who can eat, shoot, and leave?
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Jun 28, 2017

Wait then who IS qualified?

@Lee_Ars @mat Wait then who IS qualified?
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Jun 28, 2017

Twitter email strat is 100% designed to keep you from...

@redkeg Twitter email strat is 100% designed to keep you from rising up.
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Jun 28, 2017

do most of the bears you know or work with make regular use...

@Lee_Ars do most of the bears you know or work with make regular use of cocaine
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Jun 28, 2017

lee the bear's nose is bleeding and his chest is covered...

@Lee_Ars lee the bear's nose is bleeding and his chest is covered with cocaine
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Jun 28, 2017

The photos on that are freaking primo.

@michaelbshane The photos on that are freaking primo.
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Jun 28, 2017

when did you break up with cakes

@patbits when did you break up with cakes
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Jun 28, 2017

Love to see Chaos Computer Club....

Love to see Chaos Computer Club. twitter.com/...
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Jun 28, 2017

wouldn't that be more like “come to POV-RAY in the next...

@neilahrendt @harper @drewtoothpaste wouldn't that be more like “come to POV-RAY in the next half hour if you want an ass-kicking”?
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Jun 28, 2017

When you need the guys to stop the things they do....

When you need the guys to stop the things they do. twitter.com/...
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Jun 28, 2017

I wrote about ten minutes of onstage silence, and other...

I wrote about ten minutes of onstage silence, and other subjects, for The Newsletter. trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Jun 28, 2017

Screenshots are killing America.

@ferndiaz Screenshots are killing America.
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Jun 28, 2017

Aside from Penny Arcade I had noooo idea. This is a whole...

@karenkho Aside from Penny Arcade I had noooo idea. This is a whole vastly depressing universe I missed.
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Jun 28, 2017

Just getting the day started over here Sana.

@sanarao Just getting the day started over here Sana.
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Jun 28, 2017

Plus screenshots love to present one magical version of the...

Plus screenshots love to present one magical version of the truth when the reality is the truth is multifaceted and complex.
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Jun 28, 2017

Also, the space that is used to store screenshots could...

Also, the space that is used to store screenshots could instead be used to serve free software torrents.
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Jun 28, 2017

Not to mention that it's better for people to stop...

Not to mention that it's better for people to stop screenshotting, which leads to lazy thought, and write what they see on screen longhand.
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Jun 28, 2017

Also the relentless privileging of the visual is really one...

Also the relentless privileging of the visual is really one of the ways that our culture reinforces its norms.
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Jun 28, 2017

Also screenshots are perfect leftist tools for...

Also screenshots are perfect leftist tools for out-of-context gotcha journalism that is constantly used to smear the President.
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Jun 28, 2017

Except actually screenshots definitely reinforce a visual...

Except actually screenshots definitely reinforce a visual medium and lose all the semantic data that is important to accessibility.
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Jun 28, 2017

I'm now a pro-screenshot activist. It's the perfect cause:...

I'm now a pro-screenshot activist. It's the perfect cause: No one can be offended.
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Jun 28, 2017

“I'm sorry we took all those screenshots.” —No one in my...

“I'm sorry we took all those screenshots.” —No one in my career ever #alwaysscreenshot
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Jun 28, 2017

this is my 5-6 year @mlkshk image collection, posted 1...

@oshkoshbgoshjos this is my 5-6 year @mlkshk image collection, posted 1 image every 4 hrs
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Jun 28, 2017

there just isn't a blog-post shaped hole in the world any...

@djacobs there just isn't a blog-post shaped hole in the world any more for people to fill
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Jun 27, 2017

Okay done.

Okay done.
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Jun 27, 2017

Okay three more then done.

Okay three more then done.
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Jun 27, 2017

all context is lost! i have no idea.

@jakemauer all context is lost! i have no idea.
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Jun 27, 2017

Amazon/Whole Foods in one tweet....

Amazon/Whole Foods in one tweet. twitter.com/...
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Jun 27, 2017

twitter can't handle irony

@jakemauer twitter can't handle irony
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Jun 27, 2017

Just a few more

Just a few more
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Jun 27, 2017

...which led to this excellent @ericspiegelman urban...

...which led to this excellent @ericspiegelman urban transit explainer <thread> twitter.com/...
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Jun 27, 2017

On the podcast we talked about Russian watches and the...

On the podcast we talked about Russian watches and the master plan of Amazon... twitter.com/...
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Jun 27, 2017

Sitting on a bus between the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges...

@sturgidson @szacharek Sitting on a bus between the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges just nodding in total approval. twitter.com/...
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Jun 27, 2017

I ship Moana/epistemological access.

I ship Moana/epistemological access.
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Jun 27, 2017

I write fanfic now.

I write fanfic now.
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Jun 27, 2017

Cloth from her grandmother, a feather from Hei Hei as a...

Cloth from her grandmother, a feather from Hei Hei as a button, etc. Then she had a pocket for her library card and could get the book.
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Jun 27, 2017

The story was that she wanted a book on coconuts but she...

The story was that she wanted a book on coconuts but she had no pockets for a library card. So she had to go and get needle, then thread.
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Jun 26, 2017

“And THAT is how Moana got her library card.” —Me, to two...

“And THAT is how Moana got her library card.” —Me, to two kids who deeply regret asking me to make up a story
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Jun 25, 2017

I would like to congratulate sales tax for its valuable...

I would like to congratulate sales tax for its valuable work in keeping children away from guitars.
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Jun 24, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/878724685940350977/photo/1

twitter.com/...
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Jun 24, 2017

It was a hell of a thing to be cut off from banter. I...

It was a hell of a thing to be cut off from banter. I missed banter way more than my phone.
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Jun 24, 2017

I kind of settled in though and just looked up at the...

I kind of settled in though and just looked up at the lights and at people and was a little sad when it was over.
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Jun 24, 2017

It was surprisingly awful at first and there was no place...

It was surprisingly awful at first and there was no place to hide. “This was a terrible idea,” I thought. “I regret doing it.”
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Jun 24, 2017

I have also broken down a great deal over the past five...

I have also broken down a great deal over the past five years due to increased ridership. twitter.com/...
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Jun 24, 2017

Thank you! I'm glad we are all here.

@inthefade @anildash Thank you! I'm glad we are all here.
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Jun 24, 2017

not acknowledging this

@derektmead not acknowledging this
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Jun 23, 2017

hahahahahahahahah

@adcrimer hahahahahahahahah
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Jun 23, 2017

It was tempting to tell all my friends that this was a very...

It was tempting to tell all my friends that this was a very important event for me and I'd be sharing something new and needed them there.
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Jun 23, 2017

At least there's no livestream.

At least there's no livestream.
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Jun 23, 2017

I truly have no idea.

@bn2b I truly have no idea.
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Jun 23, 2017

I'm not allowed to say or do anything. I just have to be...

I'm not allowed to say or do anything. I just have to be there, on stage, for ten minutes. I keep trying to rehearse.
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Jun 23, 2017

“That sounds terrible,” is what I emailed. “I guess I have...

“That sounds terrible,” is what I emailed. “I guess I have to do it.”
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Jun 23, 2017

I'm appearing for 10 mins tomorrow in an experimental stage...

I'm appearing for 10 mins tomorrow in an experimental stage production in which I simply stare, alone, at an audience. I could have said no.
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Jun 23, 2017

Everyone in San Mateo go check out Paul....

Everyone in San Mateo go check out Paul. twitter.com/...
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Jun 23, 2017

It was a decade that started out rocking, briefly had...

@laura_june It was a decade that started out rocking, briefly had dreadlocks, then ended up in a steam room in suits.
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Jun 23, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/878403455890620417/photo/1

twitter.com/...
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Jun 23, 2017

The Faith No More slideshow on Spotify accidentally serves...

The Faith No More slideshow on Spotify accidentally serves as a complete history of the 1990s. twitter.com/...
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Jun 23, 2017

I've heard this season is amazing? I would like it I think....

@redkeg I've heard this season is amazing? I would like it I think. I get emotional when I see the animated GIFs.
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Jun 23, 2017

I LOVE that exactly level of people on the bus

@thelancearthur I LOVE that exactly level of people on the bus
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Jun 23, 2017

wow that looks INCREDIBLY promising

@sippey wow that looks INCREDIBLY promising
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Jun 23, 2017

i stared into the abyss and https://twitter.com/ftrain/statu...

@livlab i stared into the abyss and twitter.com/...
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Jun 23, 2017

this is a great image

@livlab this is a great image
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Jun 23, 2017

Oh I love Lez Zeppelin!

@reppep Oh I love Lez Zeppelin!
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Jun 23, 2017

How's it look?

@livlab How's it look?
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Jun 23, 2017

Depends on the trilogy.

@aphyr Depends on the trilogy.
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Jun 23, 2017

Getting the kids to bed, drinking a beer, doing a little...

@patbits Getting the kids to bed, drinking a beer, doing a little light data manipulation.
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Jun 23, 2017

What's everyone doing this Friday evening?

What's everyone doing this Friday evening?
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Jun 23, 2017

It's great, right? And the cherry on top is that electric...

@textfiles It's great, right? And the cherry on top is that electric guitars are dying. washingtonpost.com/...
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Jun 23, 2017

I've started to rewrite the songs from the POV of Pua the...

@skamille I've started to rewrite the songs from the POV of Pua the pig, which you can sing instead of “Moana.”
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Jun 23, 2017

(Michael is a good calming presence; I really appreciate...

@VirginiaJim (Michael is a good calming presence; I really appreciate him.)
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Jun 23, 2017

Thank you. Most ideas don't work. It takes confidence and...

@VirginiaJim Thank you. Most ideas don't work. It takes confidence and experience to just...talk about it.
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Jun 22, 2017

don't fave this I hate myself

@seldo @seldo don't fave this I hate myself
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Jun 22, 2017

This sounds like a far-fetched yarn to me.

@seldo This sounds like a far-fetched yarn to me.
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Jun 22, 2017

Not yet, but tweets are factored in during reviews.

@jeffbarr @adampash Not yet, but tweets are factored in during reviews.
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Jun 22, 2017

I miss so many tweets since the redesign?

@adampash @richziade I miss so many tweets since the redesign?
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Jun 22, 2017

We played HN bingo before @adampash posted so we'd be...

@waxpancake We played HN bingo before @adampash posted so we'd be prepared.
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Jun 22, 2017

Don't think of it as having bedbugs. Think of it as joining...

@redkeg Don't think of it as having bedbugs. Think of it as joining the Bloodhound Gang.
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Jun 22, 2017

After 5,000 listens I am prepared to announce that this is...

After 5,000 listens I am prepared to announce that this is a good song. open.spotify.com/...
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Jun 22, 2017

BuzzFeeD has a bedbug problem and we are so here for it!

BuzzFeeD has a bedbug problem and we are so here for it!
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Jun 21, 2017

For me: http://otrrlibrary.org/OTRRLib/Library%20Files/J%20S...

For me: otrrlibrary.org/...
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Jun 21, 2017

What are you listening to to get to bed?

What are you listening to to get to bed?
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Jun 21, 2017

If there's one thing I know it's that we'd be glad to talk...

@mikepqr If there's one thing I know it's that we'd be glad to talk about serverless architectures so feel free to reach out!
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Jun 21, 2017

I took a picture at the kindergarten stepping up ceremony...

I took a picture at the kindergarten stepping up ceremony today and this perfect document was in the background. twitter.com/...
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Jun 21, 2017

that's right lee, that's the good stuff, poor @adampash is...

@Lee_Ars that's right lee, that's the good stuff, poor @adampash is going to be getting that for two weeks
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Jun 21, 2017

We serve 39 million complex API calls for $370/month &...

We serve 39 million complex API calls for $370/month & I can't wait to hear from nerds telling us they'd do better. trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Jun 21, 2017

Don't hear as much about Vision Zero these days.

Don't hear as much about Vision Zero these days.
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Jun 21, 2017

so basically the level of luck was EXTREME

@theodoreross so basically the level of luck was EXTREME
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Jun 21, 2017

one injury so could be worse. driver forgot parking brake.

@theodoreross one injury so could be worse. driver forgot parking brake.
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Jun 21, 2017

it IS an amazing video but yeah not for the guy who got...

@patbits it IS an amazing video but yeah not for the guy who got injured and the two bike riders killed by buses in the last few weeks
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Jun 21, 2017

It's SO lucky no one died. It's the terror and the OH SHIT...

@theodoreross It's SO lucky no one died. It's the terror and the OH SHIT followed by the dude running.
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Jun 20, 2017

Congratulations! You did great stuff at MLA and I'm sure...

@kfitz Congratulations! You did great stuff at MLA and I'm sure this will be just as impressive.
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Jun 20, 2017

IS SOMEONE TALKING SHIT ABOUT EMACS

@phooky IS SOMEONE TALKING SHIT ABOUT EMACS
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Jun 20, 2017

As my dad taught me, don't ever love a morning email...

As my dad taught me, don't ever love a morning email newsletter, because a morning email newsletter will break your heart. twitter.com/...
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Jun 19, 2017

“Let the Eagle Scream!”—W. E. B. Du Bois, September 1911...

“Let the Eagle Scream!”—W. E. B. Du Bois, September 1911 twitter.com/...
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Jun 18, 2017

The whole Wax Trax scene was so good. They were amazing.

@harper The whole Wax Trax scene was so good. They were amazing.
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Jun 18, 2017

In conclusion, dads are a land of contrasts.

In conclusion, dads are a land of contrasts.
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Jun 18, 2017

I mean I GET it, I just wasn't in the mood for an...

I mean I GET it, I just wasn't in the mood for an intervention.
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Jun 18, 2017

Uncomfortable moment as my son's card said “You have four...

Uncomfortable moment as my son's card said “You have four good chins” but he meant “you have good fortune.”
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Jun 18, 2017

America works its shit out by fighting about dumb holidays...

America works its shit out by fighting about dumb holidays and big movies. It's bad.
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Jun 18, 2017

Beats a tie. https://twitter.com/maureenflaherty/status/8764...

Beats a tie. twitter.com/...
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Jun 17, 2017

Just in case thou is mad as hell and thou will'st not take...

Just in case thou is mad as hell and thou will'st not take it any more.
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Jun 17, 2017

Here's an abridged Julius Caesar on Spotify starring Peter...

Here's an abridged Julius Caesar on Spotify starring Peter Finch, who played Howard Beale in Network. open.spotify.com/...
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Jun 17, 2017

There was never a clear plan for what happened AFTER the...

@starsandrobots There was never a clear plan for what happened AFTER the rave tho.
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Jun 17, 2017

cursed commercial http://pinktentacle.com/2010/03/cursed-kle...

cursed commercial pinktentacle.com/...
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Jun 17, 2017

Oh yeah I forgot about that thing I LOVE it.

@phyllisstein @beep Oh yeah I forgot about that thing I LOVE it.
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Jun 17, 2017

She recalled that one young leader told her, “You were my...

She recalled that one young leader told her, “You were my only example of an alpha male who was gentle.” nytimes.com/...
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Jun 16, 2017

Round things are so inconvenient but what can you do.

@marcprecipice Round things are so inconvenient but what can you do.
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Jun 16, 2017

patrick please come across the street and kill me

@patbits patrick please come across the street and kill me
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Jun 16, 2017

Spitballin': Elastic Beandip. Breadshift. Root 53 health...

Spitballin': Elastic Beandip. Breadshift. Root 53 health beverage.
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Jun 16, 2017

I've really been enjoying his knowing, self-deprecating,...

@mariabustillos I've really been enjoying his knowing, self-deprecating, funny Twitter self. It's fun to enjoy life WITH your celebrities.
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Jun 16, 2017

yes, they are going to https://twitter.com/nixonfoundation/s...

yes, they are going to twitter.com/...
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Jun 16, 2017

It's all fine until US-East-1 runs out of kale.

It's all fine until US-East-1 runs out of kale.
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Jun 15, 2017

also this is proof that it's always about execution, not...

@iano also this is proof that it's always about execution, not concept
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Jun 15, 2017

i just sent you the pemfile you're http://tilde.club...

@iano i just sent you the pemfile you're tilde.club sysadmin now
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Jun 15, 2017

These are good people who work real hard....

These are good people who work real hard. twitter.com/...
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Jun 15, 2017

I just want ONE scene where giant trucks converge on a...

I just want ONE scene where giant trucks converge on a gender reeducation camp and blast through the twelve-foot doors to free the teens.
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Jun 15, 2017

IMO the single major problem with The Abyss is that it...

IMO the single major problem with The Abyss is that it wasn't this.
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Jun 15, 2017

When will Hollywood accept that America needs a...

When will Hollywood accept that America needs a post-apocalyptic thriller about a legion of heroic trans women truckers in armed trucks. twitter.com/...
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Jun 14, 2017

Oh wow you're right. Rich and I did Islands in the Stream....

@goldman Oh wow you're right. Rich and I did Islands in the Stream. I was Kenny.
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Jun 14, 2017

Erika is very smart and thinks hard about hard problems....

Erika is very smart and thinks hard about hard problems. twitter.com/...
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Jun 13, 2017

Strong karaoke night open. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status...

Strong karaoke night open. twitter.com/...
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Jun 13, 2017

No, LOU Rawls

@sjttocs No, LOU Rawls
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Jun 13, 2017

We live in a culture of bad tweets and we will never make...

@tomcoates We live in a culture of bad tweets and we will never make progress until even well-intentioned people admit they sometimes do bad tweets.
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Jun 13, 2017

TWO DAYS after deleting your account your heart rate...

TWO DAYS after deleting your account your heart rate returns to normal. Six months later your risk of bad tweets is that of a normal person.
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Jun 13, 2017

Hi @ashleyfeinberg can you send me a passport-style...

Hi @ashleyfeinberg can you send me a passport-style headshot that I can leave with security. twitter.com/...
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Jun 13, 2017

Perry I just stopped in my tracks walking down 5th Ave to...

@perryhewitt @karenmcgrane Perry I just stopped in my tracks walking down 5th Ave to enjoy the timeless truth inside this tweet.
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Jun 13, 2017

No one tells me anything

@karenmcgrane No one tells me anything
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Jun 13, 2017

It seems like they tried pretty damn hard though :(

@karenmcgrane It seems like they tried pretty damn hard though :(
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Jun 13, 2017

Poll: Perfect karaoke songs for baritone voice

Poll: Perfect karaoke songs for baritone voice
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Jun 13, 2017

Rich as you well know being a leader in technology is about...

@richarmstrong Rich as you well know being a leader in technology is about breaking all the rules.
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Jun 13, 2017

Imagine a wing commander pressuring his aging chap to make...

@max_read Imagine a wing commander pressuring his aging chap to make sense of the iPad.
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Jun 13, 2017

Fun fact: Many of the best (like REALLY good) UK digital...

@max_read Fun fact: Many of the best (like REALLY good) UK digital product people started at the BBC. For decades now.
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Jun 13, 2017

UX should be free text with suggested dropdown. The cost of...

@max_read UX should be free text with suggested dropdown. The cost of truly good UX exceeds normal burgher fees. Only tech can afford great tech.
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Jun 13, 2017

Someone....else may have claimed Rush.

@michaelbshane Someone....else may have claimed Rush.
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Jun 13, 2017

That's a user story.

That's a user story.
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Jun 13, 2017

As a co-founder at karaoke, the songs need to be awkward,...

As a co-founder at karaoke, the songs need to be awkward, but sexually and ethically appropriate, because I want everyone to feel welcome.
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Jun 13, 2017

We have office karaoke tonight. What are good songs for low...

We have office karaoke tonight. What are good songs for low voices? Current thoughts: PlsPlsPls Let Me Get What I Want/Walking on the Sun.
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Jun 13, 2017

In the other timeline they're impeaching Hillary for...

In the other timeline they're impeaching Hillary for wearing a bad hat, however the next president is a drone.
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Jun 12, 2017

It's time for some wild game theory.

It's time for some wild game theory.
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Jun 12, 2017

“Thirty years ago, they began creating animal-human...

“Thirty years ago, they began creating animal-human hybrids. Isn’t that the big story Megyn Kelly should be doing?” nytimes.com/...
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Jun 12, 2017

et tu pepe

et tu pepe
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Jun 11, 2017

It's not just a new not-for-profit but also millions in...

It's not just a new not-for-profit but also millions in free coverage.
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Jun 11, 2017

It's super-smart to use the press interest from the sale of...

It's super-smart to use the press interest from the sale of the artwork to further the cause. nytimes.com/...
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Jun 11, 2017

Wow it's from 5 years ago and I have NO idea.

@makmanalp Wow it's from 5 years ago and I have NO idea.
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Jun 11, 2017

Lizard Music (and lots of other DP books) made me believe I...

@DanielPinkwater Lizard Music (and lots of other DP books) made me believe I could take my weirdness and turn it into writing...and I did, so thank you!
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Jun 11, 2017

Many of the XOXO speedrun competitors had to be...

@textfiles @waxpancake Many of the XOXO speedrun competitors had to be disqualified because they were using onions to cry faster.
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Jun 11, 2017

(I went back and looked at it and don't remember writing...

@aaronrutkoff (I went back and looked at it and don't remember writing about 2/3rds.)
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Jun 11, 2017

I think everyone knew it was 99% likely to go down as a...

@aaronrutkoff I think everyone knew it was 99% likely to go down as a quixotic folly but then you could kind of see it blowing up and started grinding.
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Jun 11, 2017

Part of me wants to invite friends but not tell them what...

Part of me wants to invite friends but not tell them what it is.
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Jun 11, 2017

Without dread, and a sense that I will soon be intensely...

Without dread, and a sense that I will soon be intensely judged, I just don't understand how to be.
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Jun 11, 2017

I agreed to be in a theater thing in Williamsburg where...

I agreed to be in a theater thing in Williamsburg where I'll look at the audience for ten minutes, in silence. Because I need dread to live.
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Jun 11, 2017

I might give up because watching boundless murder involving...

I might give up because watching boundless murder involving tortured kids just feels less fun.
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Jun 11, 2017

You know what was a good comic book movie scene was...

You know what was a good comic book movie scene was youtu.be/...
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Jun 11, 2017

I thought I'd watch Logan for a fun slashy superhero movie.

I thought I'd watch Logan for a fun slashy superhero movie.
➛
Jun 11, 2017

Not that exact one but good glasses

@robynkanner Not that exact one but good glasses
➛
Jun 11, 2017

LinkedIn says: an architect/designer in Oakland—so it seems...

@robynkanner LinkedIn says: an architect/designer in Oakland—so it seems that the wheel kept turning.
➛
Jun 11, 2017

Whoa this is beautiful.

@shabbychef Whoa this is beautiful.
➛
Jun 11, 2017

Same data (yours is just way more normalized).

@shabbychef Same data (yours is just way more normalized).
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Oh wait these numbers are for all taglines sometimes is a...

Oh wait these numbers are for all taglines sometimes is a portion we regret the error
➛
Jun 10, 2017

A talking moose! https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/87...

A talking moose! twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Sometimes Violence is the only answer. —Violent Justice...

Sometimes Violence is the only answer. —Violent Justice (2016) #file-lines-txt-L5293" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://gist.github.com/ftrain/a45300497ccd10396155b0375be97514#file-lines-txt-L5293
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Sometimes death harbors us all. —The Burrow Log (2009)

@tcarmody Sometimes death harbors us all.
—The Burrow Log (2009)
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Sometimes milk is not as innocent as it might seem. —M...

@tcarmody Sometimes milk is not as innocent as it might seem.
—M Is for Milk (2013)
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Well, Tim, Sometimes the unknown should remain unknown.—The...

@tcarmody Well, Tim, Sometimes the unknown should remain unknown.—The X Species (2017)
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Althought maybe, just maybe, Sometimes your destiny awaits...

Althought maybe, just maybe, Sometimes your destiny awaits on the road you took to avoid it.—Getting Cozy (2015) (V)
➛
Jun 10, 2017

On the other hand Sometimes the only way to move forward is...

On the other hand Sometimes the only way to move forward is to go back.—A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006)
➛
Jun 10, 2017

One other thing I know to be true is that Sometimes you...

One other thing I know to be true is that Sometimes you have to go halfway around the world to come full circle.—Lost in Translation (2003)
➛
Jun 10, 2017

The one thing I can say for certain is that Sometimes What...

The one thing I can say for certain is that Sometimes What You're Looking For Is Right Where You Left It. —Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
➛
Jun 10, 2017

For no particular reason I made a list of movie taglines...

For no particular reason I made a list of movie taglines that begin with “Sometimes.” gist.github.com/...
➛
Jun 10, 2017

why do you torture yourself

@rebeccablood why do you torture yourself
➛
Jun 10, 2017

They are all still here, editing national magazines.

@ashleyfeinberg They are all still here, editing national magazines.
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Thank you Leah that's fantastic

@leahfinnegan Thank you Leah that's fantastic
➛
Jun 10, 2017

Oh perfect thank you

@mpbambach Oh perfect thank you
➛
Jun 10, 2017

I just ordered all the life is hell books on a whim two...

@joshmillard I just ordered all the life is hell books on a whim two weeks ago and got caught up on my Sullen Teen!
➛
Jun 9, 2017

Other people like the ftrain http://www.stereogum.com/194592...

Other people like the ftrain stereogum.com/...
➛
Jun 9, 2017

Interesting Google is now lumped in with the UN and...

@benfinoradin @textfiles Interesting Google is now lumped in with the UN and Rothschilds.
➛
Jun 9, 2017

Thank you, the pressure made me finish my thing!

@andrearosen Thank you, the pressure made me finish my thing!
➛
Jun 9, 2017

I appreciate and respect your very hard work!

@99u I appreciate and respect your very hard work!
➛
Jun 9, 2017

The @99u people were buttoned up to the point that you...

@99u @unscroll The @99u people were buttoned up to the point that you couldn't even see the buttons. It was wild.
➛
Jun 9, 2017

The crowd laughed at my weird essay regarding raccoons...

@99u @unscroll The crowd laughed at my weird essay regarding raccoons which I all I ever wanted in life. Thank you, assembled designers.
➛
Jun 9, 2017

I went and talked at @99u about writer's block and...

I went and talked at @99u about writer's block and @unscroll (which I've kicked off again and am using to write).
➛
Jun 9, 2017

Near Lincoln Center. Passed a woman in a bridal gown,...

Near Lincoln Center. Passed a woman in a bridal gown, standing empty-handed, as she said, “Oh shit, my flowers.”
➛
Jun 8, 2017

It's been a long time?

@tomcoates It's been a long time?
➛
Jun 8, 2017

What's the best thing that could happen?

@tomcoates What's the best thing that could happen?
➛
Jun 8, 2017

This is very helpful I will likely have more.

@tomcoates This is very helpful I will likely have more.
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Why is it not a majority if she has more seats?

@tomcoates Why is it not a majority if she has more seats?
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Why are British buckets so tall and narrow?

Why are British buckets so tall and narrow?
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Haha no youd be the first to know like always

@maureenflaherty Haha no youd be the first to know like always
➛
Jun 8, 2017

I think if you get caught looking at dirty stuff on Twitter...

I think if you get caught looking at dirty stuff on Twitter you could just erase it and Tweet, “Heh. Not the first time, won't be the last.”
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Adam can do more than one thing at a time which is probably...

@ashleyfeinberg @adampash @johnjcook Adam can do more than one thing at a time which is probably why he's out of the media industry.
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Heh. I can see/hear it a little.

@Beirutspring Heh. I can see/hear it a little.
➛
Jun 8, 2017

these weeks are REALLY rough

@drunkenbee these weeks are REALLY rough
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Release the Comey stream

Release the Comey stream
➛
Jun 8, 2017

That's the sort of thing I'd expect a competent editor to...

@theodoreross @colindickey That's the sort of thing I'd expect a competent editor to already know.
➛
Jun 8, 2017

You ever notice that the very-highest-rated dogs are the...

You ever notice that the very-highest-rated dogs are the ones wearing little handmaids' wimples?
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Truly the child is the father of the man.

@TheMFingChisa Truly the child is the father of the man.
➛
Jun 8, 2017

Warming up my thick, moist takes in the take warmer until...

Warming up my thick, moist takes in the take warmer until they're good
'n steamy.
➛
Jun 7, 2017

Ran across this old photo of how cool I was while preparing...

Ran across this old photo of how cool I was while preparing a talk. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 7, 2017

this is an outstanding improvement on the original joke

@rustyk5 this is an outstanding improvement on the original joke
➛
Jun 7, 2017

This tweet grows more meaningful every day of my life....

This tweet grows more meaningful every day of my life. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 7, 2017

This is all the motivation I need....

This is all the motivation I need. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 7, 2017

Wow Travis Kalanick is using the lactation room to...

Wow Travis Kalanick is using the lactation room to meditate...he must be pumped.
➛
Jun 7, 2017

Thoughts should pick their own leaders.

Thoughts should pick their own leaders.
➛
Jun 7, 2017

http://paulford.kinja.com/for-the-love-of-content-management...

@misterdisco #_ga=2.206390805.700516763.1496766318-1026793915.1485980047" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://paulford.kinja.com/for-the-love-of-content-management-1593678966#_ga=2.206390805.700516763.1496766318-1026793915.1485980047
➛
Jun 7, 2017

I love this thing. I am both the subject and the observer...

I love this thing. I am both the subject and the observer of this image. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 7, 2017

mfw...actually, just mf https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/87...

mfw...actually, just mf twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 7, 2017

“Where is your face in the montage of the bad years, Daddy?”

@rustyk5 “Where is your face in the montage of the bad years, Daddy?”
➛
Jun 7, 2017

We need to return the chaos emeralds.

We need to return the chaos emeralds.
➛
Jun 7, 2017

I just want to get the part where everyone's like, “And as...

I just want to get the part where everyone's like, “And as we saw, America has a tremendous capability for self-correction.”
➛
Jun 7, 2017

It sounded so nice when Obama said it.

@KristyT It sounded so nice when Obama said it.
➛
Jun 7, 2017

I think we overestimated the genius of the American people.

I think we overestimated the genius of the American people.
➛
Jun 7, 2017

I rebuilt it up from scratch using boring technologies....

@BillSeitz @unscroll I rebuilt it up from scratch using boring technologies. Will be public soon.
➛
Jun 6, 2017

I'm taking it day at a time but things are looking up!

@BillSeitz @unscroll I'm taking it day at a time but things are looking up!
➛
Jun 6, 2017

Xslt2 is a perfectly fine little glue language!

@anildash @meangrape Xslt2 is a perfectly fine little glue language!
➛
Jun 6, 2017

i'm 100% contenteditable now anil and it feels good

@anildash i'm 100% contenteditable now anil and it feels good
➛
Jun 6, 2017

yep i just don't want to collect anyone's emails or...

@MikePepi yep i just don't want to collect anyone's emails or passwords or whatever just yet
➛
Jun 6, 2017

Obviously a little typo there, “find” instead of “fine.”

Obviously a little typo there, “find” instead of “fine.”
➛
Jun 6, 2017

I finished the alpha version of my experimental CMS and...

I finished the alpha version of my experimental CMS and it's helping me write things I'd otherwise never write. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 6, 2017

Oh man I was there all day but had a doctor's appointment.

@mathbabedotorg @BV @enigma_data Oh man I was there all day but had a doctor's appointment.
➛
Jun 6, 2017

Cathy, I care about your problems.

@BV @mathbabedotorg Cathy,

I care about your problems.
➛
Jun 6, 2017

Ahhhhhhh HOISTING is the name of that behavior, now I...

@awbjs Ahhhhhhh HOISTING is the name of that behavior, now I know.

So many things to learn in this world.
➛
Jun 6, 2017

I had to erase that. It was a good tweet but it was going...

I had to erase that. It was a good tweet but it was going to make it past the reef of irony and keep sailing right into the ocean of morons.
➛
Jun 6, 2017

TIL in JS that if you add an event handler inside a for...

TIL in JS that if you add an event handler inside a for loop when the handler is evaled it'll set the scope to the final for-loop value.
➛
Jun 6, 2017

Little behind the 8 ball

@leahfinnegan Little behind the 8 ball
➛
Jun 6, 2017

You know what else is good? Apple butter.

@katienotopoulos You know what else is good? Apple butter.
➛
Jun 6, 2017

Good news, the Blue Whale Suicide game has been countered...

Good news, the Blue Whale Suicide game has been countered by the Capivara Amarela (Yellow Capybara) non-suicide game en.wikipedia.org/...
➛
Jun 6, 2017

It's all happening at once. https://twitter.com/China_Fact/s...

It's all happening at once. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 5, 2017

The other explanation is that Facebook is filtering out...

@goldman @jlax @iano @iamkory The other explanation is that Facebook is filtering out your tweets.
➛
Jun 5, 2017

There is an RFC for out-of-office replies....

There is an RFC for out-of-office replies. rfc-editor.org/...
➛
Jun 5, 2017

What if President Dorsey approved the funding of a vast...

@ashleyfeinberg What if President Dorsey approved the funding of a vast Tweet Army to do really great tweets every day.
➛
Jun 5, 2017

What if the WPA paid people to do great tweets though?

@ashleyfeinberg What if the WPA paid people to do great tweets though?
➛
Jun 4, 2017

The desire to stand up and yell THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER...

@phooky The desire to stand up and yell THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER is a human universal.
➛
Jun 4, 2017

Just on an imageboard (http://mlkshk.com). It's so good.

@prachipun Just on an imageboard (mlkshk.com). It's so good.
➛
Jun 4, 2017

I bought a book about Bollywood so I could understand it...

@ashwindeshmukh @ajaymehta @shiv1 I bought a book about Bollywood so I could understand it better, so far I've learned that Hrithik Roshan has two thumbs.
➛
Jun 4, 2017

Do yourself a favor and watch the end of this movie, which...

Do yourself a favor and watch the end of this movie, which is the most perfect revenge ass-kicking I've ever seen. youtu.be/...
➛
Jun 4, 2017

Which is why he's no fun at parties I guess.

Which is why he's no fun at parties I guess.
➛
Jun 4, 2017

Apparently as a child he saw a corrupt cop murder his...

Apparently as a child he saw a corrupt cop murder his father, mother, and baby sister and thirsts for revenge. en.wikipedia.org/...
➛
Jun 4, 2017

I watch *wood stuff on YouTube a lot & understand...

I watch *wood stuff on YouTube a lot & understand nothing, but I love the character of “pensive guy at party who stands alone by column.” twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 4, 2017

I went and looked up the video that produced this GIF, it's...

I went and looked up the video that produced this GIF, it's pretty great. It's at: youtube.com/...
twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 4, 2017

I mean this is...murder. https://twitter.com/CCriadoPerez/st...

I mean this is...murder. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 4, 2017

Or month in this. Whoops. Apparently it's monthly.

@gob Or month in this. Whoops. Apparently it's monthly.
➛
Jun 4, 2017

Glenn! Page 19 is “This week in This.”

@gob Glenn! Page 19 is “This week in This.”
➛
Jun 4, 2017

Programming would be great if there weren't any users....

Programming would be great if there weren't any users. #7052242" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.metafilter.com/167385/A-Junior-Software-Developer-has-a-really-bad-first-day-on-a-new-job#7052242
➛
Jun 3, 2017

we're all doin the best we can jim

@jimray we're all doin the best we can jim
➛
Jun 3, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/871203305309040644/photo/1

twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

How much would you pay NOT to receive this magazine?...

How much would you pay NOT to receive this magazine? twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

This is totally true—that looks like Andrew. Apparently...

This is totally true—that looks like Andrew. Apparently this AI won't put up with your shit. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

holy shit it really did

@bn2b holy shit it really did
➛
Jun 3, 2017

Machine learning is powerful and will soon drive all of our...

Machine learning is powerful and will soon drive all of our cars. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

Because that's what we are, we have to understand.

@karenkho Because that's what we are, we have to understand.
➛
Jun 3, 2017

Worse TBH. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/871183755272220...

Worse TBH. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

I believed that science could help Karen.

@karenkho I believed that science could help Karen.
➛
Jun 3, 2017

The bot has about two or three years worth to go.

@timlara The bot has about two or three years worth to go.
➛
Jun 3, 2017

🤔 https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/871125531441250306/phot...

🤔 twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

when chrome does this it's really more of a feature more...

when chrome does this it's really more of a feature more than a bug twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

the mountain goats just released an album that seeks to...

@ursonate the mountain goats just released an album that seeks to answer that exact question en.wikipedia.org/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

Sure, Dasgefühlsichindermittedergeradegeformtenwarteschlange...

@tolar Sure, Dasgefühlsichindermittedergeradegeformtenwarteschlangedermenschenzufinden.
➛
Jun 3, 2017

(Note: This tweet brought to you by @maureenflaherty and...

(Note: This tweet brought to you by @maureenflaherty and our friend Tasha who's coming at 11 to watch the kids.)
➛
Jun 3, 2017

an excellent excellent genre

@papertyger an excellent excellent genre
➛
Jun 3, 2017

absolutely shameful garbage pop

@tchoi8 absolutely shameful garbage pop
➛
Jun 3, 2017

Manhattan early Sat. Drank coffee sitting on the steps of a...

Manhattan early Sat. Drank coffee sitting on the steps of a courthouse. Whole office/Sonos all mine, can swear at computer, utter happiness.
➛
Jun 3, 2017

For software/culture nerds this is the good stuff: “What...

For software/culture nerds this is the good stuff: “What Really Happened with Vista” by Terry Crowley hackernoon.com/...
➛
Jun 3, 2017

A horse shouldn't be there! (Inner laughter peals.)

A horse shouldn't be there! (Inner laughter peals.)
➛
Jun 3, 2017

It really is. "I'm going to spend hours in planning and...

@TheMFingChisa It really is. "I'm going to spend hours in planning and effort in order to ruin everyone's afternoon."
➛
Jun 2, 2017

Who waved at me from a moped on Park Ave?

Who waved at me from a moped on Park Ave?
➛
Jun 2, 2017

I just wrap things in paper towels and bury them around the...

@harrisj @robynkanner @PostlightStudio I just wrap things in paper towels and bury them around the office for winter.
➛
Jun 2, 2017

This week, we doomed our boys to a life of cracking open...

This week, we doomed our boys to a life of cracking open warm ones.
➛
Jun 2, 2017

my first thought is wow & my second is wait, you can...

@robynkanner @PostlightStudio my first thought is wow & my second is wait, you can eat donuts in front of other people instead of furtively snatching and scurrying?
➛
Jun 2, 2017

Bumping this https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/8707377445610...

Bumping this twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 2, 2017

is having an argument and you can help. POLL: Donuts should...

@PostlightStudio is having an argument and you can help. POLL: Donuts should be:
➛
Jun 2, 2017

I for one am glad to see a return to private editing, which...

I for one am glad to see a return to private editing, which is more dignified.
➛
Jun 2, 2017

they'll really get your back in order to performatively...

@robbmonn they'll really get your back in order to performatively stab it
➛
Jun 2, 2017

This is a great web site with many friends

@harrisj This is a great web site with many friends
➛
Jun 2, 2017

Pretty great logo treatment here...

Pretty great logo treatment here twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 2, 2017

It's Friday and sunny and TLC have a new song about it...

It's Friday and sunny and TLC have a new song about it being sunny. m.youtube.com/...
➛
Jun 2, 2017

Twitter right: “Liberals are garbage.” Twitter left:...

Twitter right: “Liberals are garbage.” Twitter left: “Weekly reminder: Liberals are garbage.”
➛
Jun 1, 2017

It's...quite good actually.

@_cynar It's...quite good actually.
➛
Jun 1, 2017

This is such a weird way for the American century to end.

This is such a weird way for the American century to end.
➛
Jun 1, 2017

I've acquired Memepool.

I've acquired Memepool.
➛
Jun 1, 2017

Blake is my friend. https://twitter.com/bdeskin/status/87025...

Blake is my friend. twitter.com/...
➛
Jun 1, 2017

This article about the waves of Bleeker Street's...

This article about the waves of Bleeker Street's “late-stage gentrification” is well-researched and excellent. mobile.nytimes.com/...
➛
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