Ftrain, by Paul Ford

August 2016

Aug 31, 2016

this is just cruel

@ntabebe this is just cruel
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Aug 31, 2016

I think it would be...really good. I mean it's just...

@jason0x21 I think it would be...really good. I mean it's just basically a wiki with extremely low page creation cost.
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Aug 31, 2016

i wrote about how at some level twine is the omnigraffle...

i wrote about how at some level twine is the omnigraffle i've been missing trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Aug 31, 2016

can't wait to see donald faison as matt lieber

can't wait to see donald faison as matt lieber
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Aug 31, 2016

cut hand with scissors prepping for mermaid parade/slipped...

@jpotisch cut hand with scissors prepping for mermaid parade/slipped and cut head open on gun barrel while oiling/cleaning gun
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Aug 31, 2016

they were competing for who had the most stupid injury

@jpotisch they were competing for who had the most stupid injury
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Aug 31, 2016

late night ER is somethin. A nurse once made Maureen do...

@jpotisch late night ER is somethin. A nurse once made Maureen do rock paper scissors with a cop to see who could see the doctor first
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Aug 31, 2016

how's it goin there joel

@jpotisch how's it goin there joel
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Aug 30, 2016

also why can't the waitress practice politics it's good...

@studiesincrap also why can't the waitress practice politics it's good civic engagement she has every right
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Aug 30, 2016

how bad do you wish you had a college radio show right now

@sixfoot6 how bad do you wish you had a college radio show right now
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Aug 30, 2016

this guy https://twitter.com/PostlightAgency/status/77062110...

this guy twitter.com/...
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Aug 29, 2016

the one that looks like breath mints is amazing

@jenniferdaniel @stephcd the one that looks like breath mints is amazing
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Aug 29, 2016

as long as the clown is dressed that is appropriate and...

@seldo as long as the clown is dressed that is appropriate and that is fine
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Aug 29, 2016

see he helped her get a waiver everything is fine

@Choire see he helped her get a waiver everything is fine
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Aug 29, 2016

it's in the woods and that's nature and thats fine

@CRBinz it's in the woods and that's nature and thats fine
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Aug 29, 2016

It's fine everything is fine http://wtvr.com/2016/08/27/flee...

It's fine everything is fine wtvr.com/...
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Aug 29, 2016

[After a ten minute explanation of robot dinosaurs.]...

[After a ten minute explanation of robot dinosaurs.] “That's great, buddy, but could you put on your other sock?”
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Aug 29, 2016

This is a good idea. Facebook is built atop the open web;...

This is a good idea. Facebook is built atop the open web; it could make this choice easily. twitter.com/...
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Aug 28, 2016

we call them the VMAARPs because of that exact effect

@emilynussbaum we call them the VMAARPs because of that exact effect
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Aug 28, 2016

this is the automatic cutoff problem, a damn tragedy of our...

@bn2b this is the automatic cutoff problem, a damn tragedy of our age
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Aug 28, 2016

I'm calling it now it's obv Smooth...

I'm calling it now it's obv Smooth twitter.com/...
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Aug 28, 2016

leah what is wrong with you

@leahfinnegan leah what is wrong with you
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Aug 28, 2016

What should our national anthem be?

What should our national anthem be?
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Aug 28, 2016

I've barely made it to the end of the first verse.

I've barely made it to the end of the first verse.
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Aug 28, 2016

I had no idea that the third verse of the National Anthem...

I had no idea that the third verse of the National Anthem celebrated the violent deaths of slaves theintercept.com/...
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Aug 28, 2016

My kids got home from grocery shopping and are singing,...

My kids got home from grocery shopping and are singing, “You better call Becky with the good hair,” over and over. I'm in terrible trouble.
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Aug 28, 2016

this rapidly turned into seq 3 | sed 's/.*/ Smelly pampers...

this rapidly turned into

seq 3 | sed 's/.*/ Smelly pampers that are pooping and peeing. /' | say
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Aug 28, 2016

six hours of configuring ALSA later

@shabbychef six hours of configuring ALSA later
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Aug 28, 2016

In before someone ats me “You could have gotten rid of the...

In before someone ats me “You could have gotten rid of the ‘1’.”
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Aug 28, 2016

“Daddy, can you count to 1,000?” $ seq 1 1000 | say

“Daddy, can you count to 1,000?”

$ seq 1 1000 | say
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Aug 28, 2016

the thing with the hairpiece it's a little outside of...

@harrisj the thing with the hairpiece it's a little outside of nature's laws
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Aug 27, 2016

We call them "adult skittles"

@ginatrapani We call them "adult skittles"
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Aug 27, 2016

oh i'm sorry i live in the future

@davidcho oh i'm sorry i live in the future
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Aug 27, 2016

God and it's your birthday too.

@davidcho God and it's your birthday too.
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Aug 27, 2016

Apparently we are straightening her hair.

Apparently we are straightening her hair.
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Aug 27, 2016

This was in the sink when I got home....

This was in the sink when I got home. twitter.com/...
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Aug 27, 2016

nah no worries, i delete a lot of tweets

@ronakhashfavs nah no worries, i delete a lot of tweets
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Aug 27, 2016

Masking this joke as dialogue does not hide your shame.

@kjhealy Masking this joke as dialogue does not hide your shame.
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Aug 27, 2016

Banner ad ahead of its time. https://twitter.com/wayback_exe...

Banner ad ahead of its time. twitter.com/...
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Aug 26, 2016

tequila and apple juice is a canarsie sunrise

@harrisj @nicktheandersen tequila and apple juice is a canarsie sunrise
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Aug 26, 2016

hoooooorayyyyyy!

@mkramer hoooooorayyyyyy!
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Aug 26, 2016

oh yeah this is strong

@Tyrangiel oh yeah this is strong
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Aug 26, 2016

I think I've seen every episode and I have only the vaguest...

@Jo_Livingstone I think I've seen every episode and I have only the vaguest warm memory of like, a kitchen? And a lot of really bleak vistas
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Aug 26, 2016

To be clear I will be drinking Frescas mixed with Old...

To be clear I will be drinking Frescas mixed with Old Granddad, a drink called the All That's Left.
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Aug 26, 2016

Looking for TRULY dumb comedy for end of vacation. My best...

Looking for TRULY dumb comedy for end of vacation. My best bet so far is POPSTAR. What else?
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Aug 26, 2016

I would gladly vote Trump in exchange for no one asking for...

I would gladly vote Trump in exchange for no one asking for blue hippo or a glass of water until 7am.
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Aug 26, 2016

Every single fancy ideological position you cherish goes...

Every single fancy ideological position you cherish goes straight into the shitter when you're putting four-year-old twins to bed.
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Aug 26, 2016

I don't know the pronouns for evil

@leahfinnegan I don't know the pronouns for evil
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Aug 26, 2016

you tell me, Laurie

@seldo you tell me, Laurie
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Aug 26, 2016

First Times Square Disneyfies, then the East Village...

First Times Square Disneyfies, then the East Village gentrifies, then the lady who throws crickets on the train is trying to go viral.
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Aug 26, 2016

I respect that a woman must have a code by which she tweets

@leahfinnegan I respect that a woman must have a code by which she tweets
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Aug 26, 2016

the universal packaging daemon on grunt?

@seldo the universal packaging daemon on grunt?
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Aug 26, 2016

it's a GREAT idea. There is stuff but nothing easy or good.

@lindseyweber it's a GREAT idea. There is stuff but nothing easy or good.
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Aug 26, 2016

Rob what is the list of donts in the bg (shirts are awesome)

@Arkmashton @tolar Rob what is the list of donts in the bg (shirts are awesome)
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Aug 26, 2016

Leah can you not open your heart just a little for a...

@leahfinnegan Leah can you not open your heart just a little for a reported piece on Choco Tacos? twitter.com/...
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Aug 26, 2016

Good to see you blogging!

@bn2b Good to see you blogging!
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Aug 26, 2016

Microsoft just has loaves of bread.

@libovness Microsoft just has loaves of bread.
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Aug 25, 2016

I read that as, "we checked and, legally, we could not kill...

@skamille @harper @dylanreed I read that as, "we checked and, legally, we could not kill our sons."
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Aug 25, 2016

oh god "I am not very happy about this" that poor man

@harper @dylanreed oh god "I am not very happy about this" that poor man
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Aug 25, 2016

I'm torn between "ohforchrissakes" and...

@harper @dylanreed I'm torn between "ohforchrissakes" and "oh--for--wait--oh...god--godDAMMIT"
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Aug 25, 2016

I'm working out the thought process &every step is pure...

@harper @dylanreed I'm working out the thought process &every step is pure joy down to the exhausted muttering when they see the inscription
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Aug 25, 2016

I hate their thirst

@livlab I hate their thirst
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Aug 25, 2016

GO DES! YOU GOT THIS.

@benbrown GO DES! YOU GOT THIS.
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Aug 25, 2016

this is giving me such joy I can't fully articulate it,...

@harper @dylanreed this is giving me such joy I can't fully articulate it, it's just next level being a pain
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Aug 25, 2016

These are the only things that are sandwiches....

These are the only things that are sandwiches. twitter.com/...
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Aug 25, 2016

in order of pages, meat is 40 pp; sweet 30; cheese 24; fish...

@john_overholt in order of pages, meat is 40 pp; sweet 30; cheese 24; fish and salad both 22; nut 12; egg 10; misc 6; canapes ?
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Aug 25, 2016

WHAT?! He said delicately lifting the pocket square from...

@iSmashFizzle @marklotto WHAT?! He said delicately lifting the pocket square from the bespoke pocket on his lapis summer suit and putting it
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Aug 25, 2016

oh come on having a lady throw crickets on you then pee on...

@jackrusher oh come on having a lady throw crickets on you then pee on the floor while you're locked in a train with her is nbd
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Aug 25, 2016

Then it stops on the bridge https://twitter.com/jimaley/stat...

Then it stops on the bridge twitter.com/...
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Aug 24, 2016

the dream happens sometimes when my kids won't go to bed

@harrisj the dream happens sometimes when my kids won't go to bed
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Aug 24, 2016

Oh it's from 1996 which makes it even better.

Oh it's from 1996 which makes it even better.
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Aug 24, 2016

“There are three types of lighthouse.” and that's when I...

“There are three types of lighthouse.” and that's when I fainted
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Aug 24, 2016

70s lighthouse keeper memoir in LRB is my personal drudge...

70s lighthouse keeper memoir in LRB is my personal drudge siren lrb.co.uk/...
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Aug 24, 2016

Mutual liability insurance functioning like health...

Mutual liability insurance functioning like health insurance in the US is almost inevitable. Prepare your body.
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Aug 24, 2016

hehehe I've wondered about this

@mquirion hehehe I've wondered about this
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Aug 24, 2016

Not only will we be perpetually sued in the future but we...

Not only will we be perpetually sued in the future but we will make it part of our family time. ftrain.com/...
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Aug 24, 2016

Rubies are red, Some threads are green, But only Java has...

Rubies are red,
Some threads are green,
But only Java has AbstractSingletonProxyFactoryBean
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Aug 24, 2016

god you are telling me

@nzle god you are telling me
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Aug 24, 2016

i get so grossed out by the part of the future that's like...

@nzle i get so grossed out by the part of the future that's like "hey we're just automating this part of the system"
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Aug 24, 2016

we're all garbage but at least we have our friends

@theodoreross we're all garbage but at least we have our friends
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Aug 24, 2016

and what did your agent say when you told them this

@theodoreross and what did your agent say when you told them this
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Aug 23, 2016

I'm switching back from T-mobile

@leahfinnegan I'm switching back from T-mobile
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Aug 23, 2016

I hope Verizon isnt nearsighted and continues to fund the...

@leahfinnegan I hope Verizon isnt nearsighted and continues to fund the HuffPo merpeople assquarium
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Aug 23, 2016

I am straddle generation

@davidcho I am straddle generation
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Aug 23, 2016

we are on vacation so it's even better

@myfavoritemegan we are on vacation so it's even better
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Aug 23, 2016

Ariel has a navel which implies live birth. But h as anyone...

Ariel has a navel which implies live birth. But h as anyone ever seen a pregnant mermom.
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Aug 23, 2016

Watched The Little Mermaid with a sick little girl today....

Watched The Little Mermaid with a sick little girl today. Never saw it before. What a beautiful movie. Also, what a total nightmare. 1/5,879
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Aug 23, 2016

there was nothing before and there can be nothing after

@bn2b there was nothing before and there can be nothing after
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Aug 23, 2016

The degree to which every human being is wrong about...

The degree to which every human being is wrong about everything defies belief. I just drank old granddad from a jug.
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Aug 23, 2016

you're halfway there

@patbits you're halfway there
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Aug 23, 2016

B&H photo in NYC shuts down online sales for Sabbath

@livlab B&H photo in NYC shuts down online sales for Sabbath
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Aug 22, 2016

America's kids know they promised to go to sleep but they...

America's kids know they promised to go to sleep but they have just one more question.
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Aug 21, 2016

I want an emulated version! Also my god the Turbo...

@mwichary I want an emulated version!
Also my god the Turbo Pascal/C/etc environment is so good.
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Aug 21, 2016

I know I've been thinking about that dude all day

@pavedwalden @thelmt_ I know I've been thinking about that dude all day
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Aug 21, 2016

this is beautiful

@mwichary this is beautiful
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Aug 21, 2016

it's an awkward conversation definitely, because the other...

@KristyT @jennschiffer it's an awkward conversation definitely, because the other party thinks you are an insane person who loves pan filth
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Aug 21, 2016

we also posted instructions on pans for "me" above the sink...

@dansinker @jennschiffer @KristyT we also posted instructions on pans for "me" above the sink because everyone assumes I'm an idiot manchild
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Aug 21, 2016

oh god you did everything right and still

@KristyT @jennschiffer oh god you did everything right and still
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Aug 21, 2016

we hide ours in the oven when certain parties visit

@jennschiffer @KristyT we hide ours in the oven when certain parties visit
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Aug 21, 2016

in mid-PA, bullseyes

@harrisj in mid-PA, bullseyes
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Aug 21, 2016

a great and pragmatic thinker

@razzmuzzen a great and pragmatic thinker
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Aug 20, 2016

allllmost but I think we need a year. Soon!

@tammy @maureenflaherty allllmost but I think we need a year. Soon!
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Aug 19, 2016

we'll never know for certain

@darth we'll never know for certain
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Aug 19, 2016

It is really a lot

@darth It is really a lot
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Aug 19, 2016

This NYT photo from an Alaska climate change story is...

This NYT photo from an Alaska climate change story is beautiful and filled with secret dogs. nytimes.com/... twitter.com/...
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Aug 19, 2016

This is excellent work. https://twitter.com/bybourn/status/7...

This is excellent work. twitter.com/...
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Aug 19, 2016

do you love http web links, graphic design, and stock...

do you love http web links, graphic design, and stock photos of graphic designers trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Aug 19, 2016

in a separate thread @phooky mentioned the Alan Parsons...

@aweissman in a separate thread @phooky mentioned the Alan Parsons Project and now the day is shot and it's not even 9am
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Aug 19, 2016

just come across the street we can knock this out in an...

@aweissman just come across the street we can knock this out in an hour or two
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Aug 19, 2016

I know so much about your life now, knowing that you know...

@phooky I know so much about your life now, knowing that you know this album.
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Aug 19, 2016

OH GOD THIS ALBUM

@phooky OH GOD THIS ALBUM
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Aug 19, 2016

oh well now. my god. is that the one with beaujolais on it?

@phooky oh well now. my god. is that the one with beaujolais on it?
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Aug 19, 2016

what the hell was it with british postwar kids and their...

@aweissman what the hell was it with british postwar kids and their mothers
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Aug 19, 2016

Nazi secretaries are excellent examples of the human...

Nazi secretaries are excellent examples of the human ability to live with uninterrupted total self-deception for decades.
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Aug 19, 2016

Dammit now I'm listening to Synchronicity.

Dammit now I'm listening to Synchronicity.
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Aug 19, 2016

Whoa, a man in a Synchronicity T-shirt walked by just as I...

Whoa, a man in a Synchronicity T-shirt walked by just as I was listening to literally anything other than Synchronicity.
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Aug 19, 2016

“There was really nothing to criticise about him.”...

“There was really nothing to criticise about him.” —Goebbels's secretary theguardian.com/...
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Aug 18, 2016

In the interest of timeliness I wrote about this Windows...

In the interest of timeliness I wrote about this Windows NT/OS/2 shootout trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Aug 18, 2016

R.I.P. @Gawker I wrote for you once under a pseudonym and I...

R.I.P. @Gawker I wrote for you once under a pseudonym and I loved the way you trolled media people into sharing hilariously bad opinions.
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Aug 18, 2016

feeling tweet fury right down to my feet

@patbits @izzyoji feeling tweet fury right down to my feet
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Aug 17, 2016

there must be some reason for it, some explanation, if only...

@bluechoochoo @djacobs @FiveThirtyEight there must be some reason for it, some explanation, if only we could understand
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Aug 17, 2016

YES and what will we call it. My vote: the blue bracelet

@djacobs @FiveThirtyEight YES and what will we call it. My vote: the blue bracelet
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Aug 17, 2016

I see it as a temperature reading. If the weather is SUPER...

@djacobs @FiveThirtyEight I see it as a temperature reading. If the weather is SUPER hot today then September might also be warm.
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Aug 17, 2016

Hillary I mean. She didn't climb Everest.

@ftrain Hillary I mean. She didn't climb Everest.
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Aug 17, 2016

I have a little ritual where I go polls, nowcast, polls...

@djacobs @FiveThirtyEight I have a little ritual where I go polls, nowcast, polls plus.
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Aug 17, 2016

A slideshow of Trump's dogs? Hilary's earrings over the...

A slideshow of Trump's dogs? Hilary's earrings over the years? Shit about trendlines? I have no limits.
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Aug 17, 2016

At this point in the election cycle I will read anything,...

At this point in the election cycle I will read anything, any political garbage at all. Especially if it's a heavily sponsored newsletter.
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Aug 16, 2016

this is a great bot. you send @NYPLEmoji an emoji and it...

this is a great bot. you send @NYPLEmoji an emoji and it sends back a picture 🦄 twitter.com/...
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Aug 16, 2016

you shine bright this aft matt

@redkeg you shine bright this aft matt
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Aug 16, 2016

All-company offsite playing $100,000 Pyramid on...

All-company offsite playing $100,000 Pyramid on browser-based emulated DOS system for cash prizes. @PostlightAgency twitter.com/...
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Aug 16, 2016

they take forever to put together

@shabbychef they take forever to put together
➛
Aug 16, 2016

it's what i bring to the process

@redkeg @mathowie it's what i bring to the process
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Aug 16, 2016

was just about to write you!

@mathowie was just about to write you!
➛
Aug 16, 2016

Read at least until he describes the robot he built in the...

Read at least until he describes the robot he built in the 60s in Alabama. twitter.com/...
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Aug 15, 2016

heheh no i'm subtweeting hacker news's comments on thiel...

@seldo heheh no i'm subtweeting hacker news's comments on thiel which immediately turn into a fallacy competition
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Aug 15, 2016

Appeal to Celebrity Twitter Account

Appeal to Celebrity Twitter Account
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Aug 15, 2016

I think it's time for new fallacies. Ideas: Argumentum ad...

I think it's time for new fallacies. Ideas: Argumentum ad retweets. Appeal to racism. Reversion to Medium. Attacking a straw stan.
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Aug 15, 2016

Lots of people are talking with us about it lately. But...

@seldo Lots of people are talking with us about it lately. But right now the only real consumer is Google; who knows if it'll really catch?
➛
Aug 15, 2016

This is a really good thorough glossary....

This is a really good thorough glossary. twitter.com/...
➛
Aug 15, 2016

what the fuck is this spongy mass

@espiers what the fuck is this spongy mass
➛
Aug 15, 2016

god can you imagine the first draft if this is what ran...

god can you imagine the first draft if this is what ran nytimes.com/...
➛
Aug 15, 2016

This is as true today as it was four years ago....

This is as true today as it was four years ago. twitter.com/...
➛
Aug 14, 2016

I love how whenever I see snippets of Irish TV it feels...

I love how whenever I see snippets of Irish TV it feels like it's all happening on a big, hi-def Google hangout youtube.com/...
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Aug 14, 2016

this game is infuriating http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

this game is infuriating nytimes.com/...
➛
Aug 13, 2016

the whole article is spectacular

@jackrusher the whole article is spectacular
➛
Aug 13, 2016

REM, "Orange Crush" #trumpplaylist

REM, "Orange Crush" #trumpplaylist
➛
Aug 13, 2016

Hah there already is one!

@richziade Hah there already is one!
➛
Aug 13, 2016

Enough with the delays and excuses. It's time for Trump to...

Enough with the delays and excuses. It's time for Trump to release his summer playlist.
➛
Aug 12, 2016

This is the greatest graphic. https://twitter.com/nytgraphic...

This is the greatest graphic. twitter.com/...
➛
Aug 12, 2016

Pennsylvania just started to sell wine in grocery stores

@laura_june Pennsylvania just started to sell wine in grocery stores
➛
Aug 12, 2016

laughing out loud for real at this

@jpotisch laughing out loud for real at this
➛
Aug 12, 2016

oh no what did you do

@marklotto oh no what did you do
➛
Aug 12, 2016

“It's called ‘precipitable water value,’ or PWAT.” ...

“It's called ‘precipitable water value,’ or PWAT.” syracuse.com/...
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Aug 12, 2016

Playing Pac-Man on a hacked voting machine, by @zeynep...

Playing Pac-Man on a hacked voting machine, by @zeynep nytimes.com/...
➛
Aug 11, 2016

thoughts and love beaming to you as your family gets...

@benbrown thoughts and love beaming to you as your family gets through this together.
➛
Aug 11, 2016

fair but hook me up with that playlist

@jrhyley fair but hook me up with that playlist
➛
Aug 11, 2016

Was Crazy in Love the last great summer jam?

Was Crazy in Love the last great summer jam?
➛
Aug 11, 2016

Thank you, Zeynep!

@zeynep Thank you, Zeynep!
➛
Aug 11, 2016

awww darth

@darth awww darth
➛
Aug 11, 2016

ulgh but it's been working REALLY well lately

@darth ulgh but it's been working REALLY well lately
➛
Aug 11, 2016

This was a nice impromptu thing and to the remote employees...

This was a nice impromptu thing and to the remote employees & people in meetings or on-site with clients, I'm sorry. twitter.com/...
➛
Aug 11, 2016

Jesus Christ Jonathan

@libovness Jesus Christ Jonathan
➛
Aug 11, 2016

oh god you NEVER want to see this in your company chat...

oh god you NEVER want to see this in your company chat twitter.com/...
➛
Aug 11, 2016

the real gift is that you showed me http://ePudding.com...

@leahfinnegan the real gift is that you showed me epudding.com which is the best website
➛
Aug 11, 2016

all of my teeth just fell into my pudding

@leahfinnegan all of my teeth just fell into my pudding
➛
Aug 11, 2016

Thank you, Leah. You are the only reason I'm still on the...

@leahfinnegan Thank you, Leah. You are the only reason I'm still on the Internet.
➛
Aug 11, 2016

Not holding out for the singularity, huh? (Me neither.)

@jackrusher Not holding out for the singularity, huh? (Me neither.)
➛
Aug 11, 2016

NYTM single-story issue! http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

NYTM single-story issue! nytimes.com/...
➛
Aug 11, 2016

Well, @jackrusher, we made it.

Well, @jackrusher, we made it.
➛
Aug 10, 2016

I had a good joke lined up about the disk drives spinning...

@textfiles I had a good joke lined up about the disk drives spinning backwards
➛
Aug 10, 2016

wait you are in Australia?

@textfiles wait you are in Australia?
➛
Aug 10, 2016

could not tell you

@jordne could not tell you
➛
Aug 10, 2016

Oh and then this was on a phone pole so I really can't...

Oh and then this was on a phone pole so I really can't figure out what is happening in this world right now. twitter.com/...
➛
Aug 10, 2016

I erased it because the world has changed since I made it up

@mariabustillos I erased it because the world has changed since I made it up
➛
Aug 10, 2016

I like how Gawker made everyone anxious (me too), and can't...

I like how Gawker made everyone anxious (me too), and can't wait to learn more about Verizon's plans for Sploid.
➛
Aug 10, 2016

I went to the Gawker bankruptcy party. Gawker made a lot of...

I went to the Gawker bankruptcy party. Gawker made a lot of careers and paid web writers badly when everyone else paid writers nothing.
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Aug 10, 2016

How is Mark Foley like a footnote?

How is Mark Foley like a footnote?
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Aug 10, 2016

welp https://twitter.com/CodyBrown/status/763497237087449089

welp twitter.com/...
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Aug 10, 2016

it was just coffee

@patbits it was just coffee
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Aug 10, 2016

what i want to know is will i be the fattest

@leahfinnegan what i want to know is will i be the fattest
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Aug 10, 2016

then I blurted out, “on this side of the counter.”

@patbits then I blurted out, “on this side of the counter.”
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Aug 10, 2016

i love lost infrastructures https://medium.com/@anildash/the...

i love lost infrastructures @anildash/the-lost-infrastructure-of-social-media-d2b95662ccd3#.ww23i6m0p" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://medium.com/@anildash/the-lost-infrastructure-of-social-media-d2b95662ccd3#.ww23i6m0p
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Aug 10, 2016

you actually said, “I'm the only black person in here!”—You...

@patbits you actually said, “I'm the only black person in here!”—You texted it to me while I was heading to meet you at Dean & Deluca.
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Aug 10, 2016

wow thank you. GBRS is the deepest ftrain cut of all.

@patbits wow thank you. GBRS is the deepest ftrain cut of all.
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Aug 10, 2016

wow these people hate amazon https://sites.google.com/site/t...

wow these people hate amazon sites.google.com/...
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Aug 9, 2016

it ruins everything

@patbits it ruins everything
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Aug 9, 2016

elizabeth spiers got you your job...

elizabeth spiers got you your job twitter.com/...
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Aug 9, 2016

they are more like microdigressions

@anildash they are more like microdigressions
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Aug 9, 2016

as a friend I expect this for free

@anildash as a friend I expect this for free
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Aug 9, 2016

they had whole sites about cupping and no one yelled at...

@caseyjohnston @leahfinnegan they had whole sites about cupping and no one yelled at them in public
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Aug 9, 2016

good miffing here today josh

@joshmillard good miffing here today josh
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Aug 9, 2016

I'm worried people won't see this...

I'm worried people won't see this twitter.com/...
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Aug 9, 2016

I like when Matt Damon sings “Kids In America” because he's...

@joshmillard @rustyk5 I like when Matt Damon sings “Kids In America” because he's Bourne to Be Wilde
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Aug 9, 2016

Staten Island should be West Virginia...

Staten Island should be West Virginia twitter.com/...
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Aug 9, 2016

just let 'em have it, at this pt

@pilhofer @harrisj just let 'em have it, at this pt
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Aug 9, 2016

Is brogging jerbilism https://twitter.com/pilhofer/status/76...

Is brogging jerbilism twitter.com/...
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Aug 8, 2016

that's all love though

@jeffowler that's all love though
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Aug 8, 2016

my son already lives in a blue hippo house next door to...

@Jo_Livingstone my son already lives in a blue hippo house next door to Beyoncé
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Aug 8, 2016

what I love is when the critiques land at the same moment...

@ntabebe what I love is when the critiques land at the same moment as celebrity/political engagement with the meme
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Aug 8, 2016

the cost of participation is SHAME

@ntabebe the cost of participation is SHAME
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Aug 8, 2016

this is every single possible British stereotype

@Jo_Livingstone this is every single possible British stereotype
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Aug 8, 2016

That's the thing! It's a pretty good global distribution...

@hornOKplease @richziade That's the thing! It's a pretty good global distribution framework that works now.
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Aug 8, 2016

So @richziade and I are talking a lot about AMP in our...

So @richziade and I are talking a lot about AMP in our spare time and I wrote up some of what we're thinking. trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Aug 8, 2016

So @mmcwatters points out why it's so impossible to...

So @mmcwatters points out why it's so impossible to future-proof. @mmcwatters/pixels-time-comedy-7ffd91a21a92#.cbtm5mc9d" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://medium.com/@mmcwatters/pixels-time-comedy-7ffd91a21a92#.cbtm5mc9d twitter.com/...
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Aug 7, 2016

I am not joking!

@skamille I am not joking!
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Aug 7, 2016

I really like her "how you like them apples" at the end....

I really like her "how you like them apples" at the end. twitter.com/...
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Aug 7, 2016

Wait this is me https://twitter.com/bw/status/76231176723405...

Wait this is me twitter.com/...
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Aug 7, 2016

Waiting at this train station makes me feel bad....

Waiting at this train station makes me feel bad. twitter.com/...
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Aug 7, 2016

This seven jobs meme is the first time I've ever felt...

This seven jobs meme is the first time I've ever felt jealous of Jack Horkheimer, the Star Hustler.
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Aug 6, 2016

Maybe a little too old-fashioned....

Maybe a little too old-fashioned. twitter.com/...
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Aug 6, 2016

I thought Yakov Smirnov was good as Balky

@bn2b I thought Yakov Smirnov was good as Balky
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Aug 5, 2016

A ridiculous/amazing game concept from @frnsys...

A ridiculous/amazing game concept from @frnsys thefounder.biz (sim-mildly-dystopic-startup founder)
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Aug 5, 2016

finally, the world can know!

@textfiles finally, the world can know!
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Aug 5, 2016

Many bands are great. But only one band has an 8-minute...

Many bands are great. But only one band has an 8-minute song called “By-Tor and the Snow Dog.” That band is Rush.
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Aug 5, 2016

this is fascinating but also—the internet remix machine is...

this is fascinating but also—the internet remix machine is exhausting @CRA1G/the-evolution-of-an-accidental-meme-ddc4e139e0e4#.mxbrqma62" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://medium.com/@CRA1G/the-evolution-of-an-accidental-meme-ddc4e139e0e4#.mxbrqma62
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Aug 4, 2016

If anyone needs it https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/7613713...

If anyone needs it twitter.com/...
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Aug 4, 2016

I saved the image here to use as a desktop background...

I saved the image here to use as a desktop background twitter.com/...
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Aug 4, 2016

God me too https://twitter.com/ginatrapani/status/7612816765...

God me too twitter.com/...
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Aug 4, 2016

it's true, that map is excellence

@seldo it's true, that map is excellence
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Aug 3, 2016

I wonder who sent these in. https://twitter.com/ftrain/statu...

I wonder who sent these in. twitter.com/...
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Aug 3, 2016

Deep down I am still a http://Electoral-vote.com stan...

Deep down I am still a electoral-vote.com stan though.
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Aug 3, 2016

I'm a polls-plus person who wishes he were a nowcast person.

I'm a polls-plus person who wishes he were a nowcast person.
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Aug 3, 2016

it's an excellent product and I'm impressed by it 35 times...

@djacobs @NateSilver538 it's an excellent product and I'm impressed by it 35 times a day when I check in panic
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Aug 3, 2016

it's what companies think editors do

@espiers it's what companies think editors do
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Aug 3, 2016

Hahahahahahahahahaha oh god every content platform thing...

@espiers Hahahahahahahahahaha oh god every content platform thing ever
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Aug 3, 2016

This is the greatest IMDB user comment of all history....

This is the greatest IMDB user comment of all history. imdb.com/... twitter.com/...
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Aug 3, 2016

How deep does this go https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/7609...

How deep does this go twitter.com/...
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Aug 3, 2016

There's no way the movie “Cleavagefield” is what it sounds...

There's no way the movie “Cleavagefield” is what it sounds like, there must be some—oh no. imdb.com/...
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Aug 3, 2016

no there's no way the movie cleave...

no there's no way the movie cleave twitter.com/...
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Aug 3, 2016

This is the finest expression of Vaporwave aesthetic I've...

This is the finest expression of Vaporwave aesthetic I've ever seen. twitter.com/...
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Aug 3, 2016

holy shit this trailer is unreal

@waxpancake holy shit this trailer is unreal
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Aug 3, 2016

here's a video where john turturro shows you how to use the...

here's a video where john turturro shows you how to use the internet with lycos archive.org/...
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Aug 3, 2016

Say what you will but he'd never insult a Gold Star Mother....

Say what you will but he'd never insult a Gold Star Mother. twitter.com/...
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Aug 3, 2016

if you converted all the jp2s to jpgs without renaming them...

if you converted all the jp2s to jpgs without renaming them you can just say:

ren -a "*.jp2" "#1.jpg"

(brew install ren)
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Aug 2, 2016

We're tired, NYT. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/76062771...

We're tired, NYT. twitter.com/...
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Aug 2, 2016

just email mercury@postlight.com and we'll check it out or...

@ballingt just email mercury@postlight.com and we'll check it out or tell you what's up
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Aug 2, 2016

look at the extremely high resolution of this...

look at the extremely high resolution of this monitor...lizard twitter.com/...
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Aug 2, 2016

Huh, there are no free Internet resources or Wiki pages on...

Huh, there are no free Internet resources or Wiki pages on crafting awesome burns. So I guess I can't help you.
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Aug 2, 2016

I died before breakfast.

I died before breakfast.
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Aug 2, 2016

was this at science camp or math camp

@PJVogt was this at science camp or math camp
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Aug 2, 2016

Oh god this cross section of all humanity is so beautiful...

Oh god this cross section of all humanity is so beautiful and hopeful it's killing me.
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Aug 2, 2016

They are ending with an “inspirational quote” and I can't...

They are ending with an “inspirational quote” and I can't hear it and it's killing me.
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Aug 2, 2016

Oh shit it's an MLM real estate referral breakfast meeting....

Oh shit it's an MLM real estate referral breakfast meeting. Not a drill. They're talking about Facebook. It costs $600 to join. DOOR PRIZES.
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Aug 2, 2016

Everyone is trying so hard to get properties into the...

Everyone is trying so hard to get properties into the pipeline. It's all kinds of folks. “The powerful benefits of referral marketing.”
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Aug 2, 2016

It's a human CRM.

It's a human CRM.
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Aug 2, 2016

I *was* having a bad morning but this is a little slice of...

I *was* having a bad morning but this is a little slice of heaven. Someone just said that one of their referrals was from their parents.
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Aug 2, 2016

I'm at a breakfast meeting and there's a real estate firm...

I'm at a breakfast meeting and there's a real estate firm here doing a sales meeting and everyone has to stand and describe their referrals.
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Aug 1, 2016

he's four but he's so pitted

@derektmead he's four but he's so pitted
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Aug 1, 2016

we had the support of a freaking enormous puddle

@gob we had the support of a freaking enormous puddle
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Aug 1, 2016

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/760289858107674624/video/1

twitter.com/...
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Aug 1, 2016

awww that's so great

@TheEoin awww that's so great
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Aug 1, 2016

just want to point out that I have been providing free...

just want to point out that I have been providing free skeksi-related humor content to the commons for 4 years now twitter.com/...
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Aug 1, 2016

This one too https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/7602335762060...

This one too twitter.com/...
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Aug 1, 2016

this cake just cracks me up & i kind of want it for my...

this cake just cracks me up & i kind of want it for my own birthday twitter.com/...
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Aug 1, 2016

every time i hear of a rich person imbibing teen blood i...

every time i hear of a rich person imbibing teen blood i think of the skeksis draining life-force via a dark crystal en.wikipedia.org/...
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Aug 1, 2016

it seems that @joshuatopolsky hired everyone cool and...

it seems that @joshuatopolsky hired everyone cool and everyone he didn't hire is de-facto not cool @joshuatopolsky/getting-into-the-outline-7735a7743bc8#.ngf8tjzft" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://medium.com/@joshuatopolsky/getting-into-the-outline-7735a7743bc8#.ngf8tjzft
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Aug 1, 2016

Today in the newsletter, around the world with water parks,...

Today in the newsletter, around the world with water parks, YouTube, and some Python code trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Aug 1, 2016

I remember when cuckservatives actually cared about...

I remember when cuckservatives actually cared about cuckservation.
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Aug 1, 2016

i want the trump campaign to ban all explainer-driven media...

i want the trump campaign to ban all explainer-driven media from attending press events so the headline can be “spox blocks vox”
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Aug 1, 2016

stop saying “spox”

stop saying “spox”
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