March 2015 BY Paul Ford 2015 429 Sections thanks kapie you are like the people asking thrush to prove he... jason are you oneshotting tweets sigh. Not a lot of people know this about me but I'm pretty sure... Sure! I'm optimistic about serving rich people who want to... Also Linux was bad but twitter pretty much did us in tbh, Oh it's easy. When two learnings fuck they make a... Perfect Spotify profile https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/57... Huge new opportunities in health care for iPhone... Or Wordpress RIP. The kids selected a childrentozss' guide to plastic... go oooonnnnnnn so real tho they count against me where you put off writing a first draft for six or eight... yeah i mean they're just going to be everywhere and it... i know but like this makes SO MUCH sense I can't even argue... blurgh thank you definitely used to be MUCH longer, at least from direct... I mean our forebears did fine and lived decent lives... I totally understand that but also as someone who spent... Thanks! Fixed! https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/582654886749331456/photo/1 oh shit People just can't tolerate how little their opinion matters. this is why i'm here. this is my whole function. to not... literally 22 years of my life now in this conversation with... yeah but that was like three total gchats whoa. thanks for ripping that out of yourself with a rusty... Michael don't make it sad. 11 years ago yes http://www.ftrain.com/MeatsYesMeats.html YES You need a verified person to retweet, that usually makes... My autobiography title will be “What did I just step in: A... lol they really like a song about monkeys jumping on the bed now yes but we pulled it off the playlist a lot of them are liberals who love the truth too Take Wobegon he loves npr and wants to keep it pure its everything at once it is a living document of our times it's also convinced that it is being censored in real time did you read it? It's against NPR, feminism, Nitasha, Pao,... cc @goldman NO WAY, this is the good stuff, this is why I read all... wut noooo that piece was really good and I learned from it Oh god I'm reading this now, “The project would be a... I can totally see you as a Fagin sending orphans out to... sure we can make something work for way under $3k/mo Maybe you can stow away in the Gowanus arcology ductwork... I feel that way every day of my life detroit? how are you with six-hour freegan potlucks where... only portland remains in maine you could get a good sandwich for $3.50 i remember this place before they built all the sun towers... okay so trot out your arcologies piece i guess? WHAT leah you're a brilliant writer known for your eyewear and... tgif rite my god enhance can't stop won't stop it was a different time umm guys did you somehow miss november 1985... Like so many people I have been seduced by Java Server... i don't want to scare them I have heard rumblings of concern from the Whitespacing... fear is the mimetype killer i mean my name is paul sometimes she shakes her head at me she gets dizzy but I can't exactly read when mo drives no I can't my license expired reading is hard when you drive tho you know what's more fun are dickens's notes because he... listening to this radio program might put things in... im real sorry. Hope it works out for you. you've closed this tab before yes? nice try aunt kapie panic on the streets of ask.fm DAD STOP truly, it is not the world is so big and has so many eels in it no dude it was a whole THING, there were pages dedicated to... http://mlkshk.com/p/13EF9 in a couple years you can probably get it out of your head... bwahahahah yeah just i shouldn't have brought that up not even the eel girl meme? Do you accept payment in attention? [Also let me know if I can answer any questions. Glad to... agreed! Also--what a house. dan this tweet is not IAB standard i'm thinking something more general interest rather than... i mean but i do think in the last ten years everyone has... i have a fantasy of a publication that is just one medium... i own http://mediumrectangle.com and i keep wanting to... like it can be so reactive, so like, BF-style identity... i mean i think it'll be a kind of "what works for our... is facebook even the web at this point or is this just like... like the existence of this product implies FB will be... i mean, that is a side effect of publishers using their... dan it hurts stop like it seems like people are diversifying to pinterest the sad thing is that the shortest path to better media is... huh i have no idea say it clear valuable feedback! I mean at that scale if you can keep 20% of people from... that would be so cool wow i never knew about the newsousorur dot blogspot dot... niiiiice you know what's up JUST THE BEGINNING Thank you for letting me work this evening. that's nice, thank you i know what i am lois so not at forever 21 then basically if it happened anywhere but pro publica it would... like what if it was at forever 21 it kind of depends where it happened lois http://www.pewresearch.org/quiz/how-millennial-are-you/ Well brand newsrooms are where agencies/brands set up shop... well i'm red-faced Also just go because what if they throw you out of Olive... Joe you're not invited to lots of stuff. probably not really startups, now that i think about. more... yea--but with the caveat that they are actually working... serious long low exhale Fun fact! I wrote a functional signage usage guide for... Hello! this is not helpful dude nooooo way the way my brain works i'd need to start by... a shriekback is three ounces of gin with a slice of... truly you always forget how good it is lionel drunkie is so good chris the police are just the backing band for dream of the... James Carville said Pennsylvania is two cities,... Okay different reason. Is it red like the walls of the USS Constitution, to hide... I think @AGoldmund has the nicest wall color scheme. I know kapie I've been keeping track I.e. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/579771432235708416/ph... it's by @jessamyn https://medium.com/message/deathhacks-b767... No, sadly! What was it? The song is extremely uplifting. The lyrics are as positive... jason how deep does this go /me writes in notebook, nods I literally have no idea what everyone is obsessing over. I KNOW I need to learn a lot of stuff before I run my big mouth. http://www.metafilter.com/129883/The-camera-never-falls-over... ew thanks for the opportunity for me to learn to be even more... It's also one of the places where you can stand and be... No, I recognized the spot but did not understand the true... you pass it on the way to housing works to appear on panels? near housing works alley thing? He or she seems fine, though, well-socialized,... and so fucking boring I imagine her closing her eyes and taking a long breath... if i hadn't squandered every professional opportunity i'd... leah you could pull off a good essay on the book of ruth depends on the church or DARWIN with a big sad trombone sound haha yes, but i mean but also I kind of felt for him, he... oh right like http://otrrlibrary.org/OTRRLib/Library%20Files... huh. i would be totally down with lay preacher sermons... that one is just more amateur to me yeah i mean imagine how shitty your life is if that's the... Boo hoo I have boils booooo hooooooooo She's like the anti-Job, no whining, family-first, heads... Like it's just a cool little story about Ruth hanging in... I've spent days of my life searching for pubdate. Blows my... This is one of the places where I think a fixed-position... Chelsea Clinton writes in the New York Times about her... i can only drink pepto bismol Hi, Leah. Nice to hear from you. Have you gathered all your... maybe she can loan you some money? I respect him, though. i haven't seen ryan and don't know if he's pretty. Grumpy would just be crowded, basically. wow ryan is very funny and talented it puts the lovies in the basket Data, Learnings, $$$ = three of my all-time favorite things god shouldn't you all be editing instead of dicking around... well tbh i just put that in as a joke i think it holds together well to page 22 and then it's... Also my programming, product, and editorial teams. times not teams Oh no, I was talking about MY email response teams. See you... Let's talk email response times, Mark. It's not really DONE tho not mac, tho! I convert org-mode to MSWord via pandoc to submit to... They just ported it over to Mac OS but didn't leave a lot... OH MY GOD OH MY GOD seriously though wordperfect 5.2 hindsight is terrible in my imagination the infighting that arose with the people... Boston Terriers? Or some fucking cats? With Choire Sicha,... when do we get to be the horrible commentators why did you link this why are you this me to do can't so many emoji of happiness occur to me right now A conversation between Jeffrey Goldberg, Leon Wieseltier,... thank you it's kind of fun, all the crunchy creative stuff that has... MORE CREATIVE GROWTH GAMES by Eugene Raudsepp Even if I were the least cynical person in publishing then... we're lucky the BW invoicing system allows for that level... 10 business days! Can't wait until the part of the process where we talk... I'm writing the kicker and adding TKs. A friend of mine in 1998 said, “The only function of Linux... imagine the forking i keep waiting for someone to propose this and call it... i know but we're in the middle of a history glut which kind... imagine the discussions over which license to use you had twins! it's just that one is a human baby and the... making a website is like making a baby; starts out fun,... Inspiring and honest! I added it to my #spirituality tweet... my guy is riding a red schwinn his name is friedrich sure payday loans is a cool business I agree, she is doing great work. noooooooooooooo i'm a brand-new intern all improvements are... just some joke no nothing wouldn't be funny i was just laughing at a joke i remembered NOTHING. lot of friday left to go robinson maybe you could pace it a... leah it's wise to set expectations he called them his Führerkids Also I want to point to this and go this is the ENDGAME are... i mean it actually IS fruitful for everyone to understand... i like this guy tho because he reverse engineered it... oh god they are vcs they are constantly eating my food and watch me all the... i treat my cats like a startup. sounds like SOMEONE could use more followers and traffic i mean, they make the choices that are right for them! I can understand that everyone has a job to do, but can you... She was allergic to her own saliva...would she be allergic... tbh i'll be thinking about this all day She went All Around the World...to find Real Love. THIS IS REAL THIS IS THE REAL WORLD talking about swatting! i'm so good at internet man i'm like an internet champion oh my http://www.beatriceco.com/bti/porticus/bell/pdf/videop... this is likely one of those things that bell labs solved... also audio conferencing sure they're going to use grunt.js to run some long-running... Sure! he has a ted talk https://www.ted.com/talks/lennart_green_do... OH WOW AROUHGRW:HJLRWHJKL:WHJKL:WGR Is he throwing them off the table? WHERE ARE THE CARDS GOING “It's been three seconds and nothing yet?” —500 helpful... sewious eats NOT AT MY MUSEUM nightmare Yes. they killed it If eighteen months of fighting about cardinality... I mean just let me know try the veal, it's delicious! safety is a construct that the corporatist state promotes... Pretentious Liberal Arts is increasingly a dead language. The tensions between a brand-centric corporate... Aaaaactually I use Wordpress R.I.P. http://giphy.com/gifs/m12GiqBQywgbS?tc=1 now they are fighting over the library book it was spit into my hand :( the last tweet had a typo because someone was playing... My wife just walked in to this room and said “Hey, OneShot... It's a lovely product that has been carefully thought... but I love the color picker! oh yeah. The end of day I'd the worst. |■_■¬)) Joan Didion for Céline that shit is so real i have to write so many things today I have a cold http://mlkshk.com/p/13HXN right now my cold is at the level of i don't want to work... i want my cold to get worse I had every chance to make things better. I tweeted out a selection of my own stuff with a typo in it. Who will triage my email? WHOOOOOooooooo —@ftrain... “So now I had my a laboratory for exploring my own past. I... Just to be clear this is a real photo of me using skype to... You know how I write things and they sort of knit the... Me: “Every nursing home is actually a media organization!”... “Poor Mr. Ford keeps talking about some Internet? Made by... “If we approach the talent show as a system and work with... I worry that I'll be drawing box-and-arrow charts in the... Oh duh that was a link to producthunt the actual beep boop... My friends made this app that plays beep boop music and I... “Call your girl friends. Go out together and get yourself... i support your choice to use portrait mode although not... “Across the hall works the man Berns praises ‘as the guy... “The baffled doctor asked what she meant by ‘ticklebox.’”... Tonight: Ease into Monday watching Katie and Sam do PPT for... So @katienotopoulos is a human toilet so it'll be cool to... I mean, it already is, but more so. Mo just told the twins that Kriss Kross's “Jump” is an... let's do this http://mlkshk.com/p/13EXU This Reddit thread regarding the Ellen PAO verdict is the... Man some people I'm married to really don't want to hear... The memes are finding their natural home now, heavy in our... We're all like, “Yes, those cats ARE OKCupid,” and Ira... Pretty often using software I can feel everyone who lived... My wife put up more Easter door rabbits. I call this... OH MY GOD THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS SECTION I just showed my @svaixd class some of the 5,000 pages of... Fortress America is a really good Kinja... after a long winter of dicks I discovered in myself an... Also we got Electronic which softened the blow. “New York City media” can be abbreviated to just “media”... “I mean, Twitter was basically ruined as soon as New York... http://mlkshk.com/p/13DOS Good to see @goldman making something of himself. i mean i think the smarter folks know they need to... well i mean the risk is taking any kind of facebook growth... eh the online ad networks are such a nightmare that the... You know what was a nice Twitter era? When everyone had... sure and the publisher will be named zuckleberger Sure, don't break the flow, up engagement time, sell new... It's much cheaper than acquiring companies. The Computerland professor describes his students as “a... Here is a page https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/58019405372... I found a book, TRAVELS IN COMPUTERLAND, by an English Prof... Every time Facebook or Apple or Google or Amazon does... “Like Facebook, media companies also want improved user... Shitcoin, FINALLY http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speakin... I took this test and it said I was 96% millennial and that... oh fuck https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/580110670865268736... RIGHT? I'm going back through Twitter and I realize I've said some... I want to embed in a brand newsroom, participate if... the procrastination checks i wrote all weekend just got... Bartender I will have a Midnight Runner and give my friend... A Simply Red is cranberry vodka with a lonely man's tears... Why aren't more cocktails named for 80s pop acts? I'd drink... I don't know if you can know me unless you've been in a van... I keep channeling the pun-making interfaith ministers of my... not trying to start controversy just observing the dad sitch sleeeeeeeeep nowwwwwwwww sleeeeeeeeeeep... Growing up near Philadelphia I can tell you that, at the... Welcome to Ditmas, glad you are visiting from Bangladesh,... My wife hung up some toy bunnies with ribbon as an Easter... wait do you rhyme with vanilla or kia I am learning a little about story-driven radio production... Radio: All the work of TV, with all the glamour of print. This dinosaur is still in our house, and he's doing okay,... a pastor wrote me once when i was pro-sex worker in an... I just gave so many pastors their sermon title Hitler wasn't a dad. Will Smith is a dad. So... One time in Tel Aviv this woman told me about Indigo... I'm not saying this to raise important questions about race... Like, if you want a conversation, that would get you a... What if Starbucks gave black people free coffee and wrote... “I like stickers as much as the next kid who grew up in... I want a lady in the Blue Bottle and a freak in the Peet's. “Also, don’t buy him a parrot!”... no but seriously https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/577818793... “(For a bunch of dudes with more money than Croesus,... Sitcom idea: After years together, a polyamorous triad... important photo http://mlkshk.com/p/139KF Thanks to @toxic today I know that you can zoom in and out... in 2015 there are no keyboard shortcuts to zoom in and out... little factorial joke for you Four programmers, 24 opinions. let's start an intentional-virtual commune where certain... People say I'm kind of cynical but deep inside I'm sitting... Please don't stop with the code questions I just wanted to... These are great questions please keep asking questions. Omg these are great questions (It was due like a month ago and I'm like, “Oh, I need to... You can email to ford@ftrain.com if you are ashamed. I'm writing a huge thing on CODE. It's hard. Civilians:... guys the zombie outbreak won't be because eco-terrorists... the thing is to write software to monitor your typing and... the team hasn't always held together the way i'd hoped but... just really wanted to take a moment and thank you for your... man DO they especially after a long day of mowing lawns /me bursts into restroom stall, pulls wet wipe from filthy... traffic is a crazy thing https://medium.com/everything-about... “‘It’s the symbol of a stick man dropping something in the... “Officer, here is an article in USA Today that might... “If the cops have no clue what you’re talking about, there... I'm not an expert, I can't write about imposter syndrome. Fighting ISIS: “a biker with lip piercings, implanted fangs... This story proves that New York City never was, and never... right that makes sense or otherwise he truly is a magician This is a video of my writing process.... “Did you MEAN to show me something that didn't amuse or... Eh it takes a minute to animate and I don't want to spend... i did it for the ttr okay we are done for a long time with liveblogging apple... It never ever ends https://medium.com/message/apple-watch-li... So @anildash and I will be live-blogging the Apple event... oh man that's tough about choire verdammt erbärmlich There's nothing Amish about this. I just asked the robots... People are reading https://medium.com/fords-sensorium/notifi... “That Way We’re All Writing Now” by @pomeranian99... You used to have to hold a whole big seance to communicate... Is there an Apple release this week? I missed the whole... wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee https://medium.com/fords-sensorium/not... Hooray for @mathowie who after 16 years leaves @metafilter... My friends built this and it's amazing if you like a... Also this platform is INSANELY hot shit/if you program... If I wasn't a complete garbage Python programmer I would... The Long DayQuil's Journey Into NyQuil. Dude left the web better than he found it like 10,000 times... “Maybe this just-announced product or service is intended... “Did I tell you my crazy dream last night?” “Yes, I think... I'm pretty sure that I have now spent more time watching TV... If I were to make a new book based on the biblical book of... Seriously if you want to see America tear itself apart in... my friend passed away months ago. they gave away books at... i'm concerned that if programmers can 3d print their own... If being a dad wasn't cool why would so many people include... this contains my favorite dystopian grim meathook present... Let's see if we can top this image at... ★╔╗тнε Ъεรт ❤️ ★╬╔╗║║╔╗╗╦╔ ★╝╚╝╚╚╚╝╚╩╝ 🇷🇪🇹🇼🇪🇪🇹