Ftrain, by Paul Ford

June 2012

Jun 30, 2012

That, and because it was perfect.

@ClaraJeffery That, and because it was perfect.
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Jun 30, 2012

The woman who programmed Centipede learned about videogames...

The woman who programmed Centipede learned about videogames because of the Pretenders song Space Invader nytimes.com/...
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Jun 30, 2012

“Whoo” (×4), “oh no,“ “yes he did,” “yes we do,“ “yes you...

“Whoo” (×4), “oh no,“ “yes he did,” “yes we do,“ “yes you can,” “the big payback” (×11) —James Brown backup signers
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Jun 30, 2012

Prospect Park baby sunning ended with cops driving up to...

Prospect Park baby sunning ended with cops driving up to the lake and three people yelling about a knife, which means time to go.
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Jun 30, 2012

this graph visualization is different i swear

this graph visualization is different i swear
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Jun 30, 2012

Where you and I might see Prospect Park, my children see...

Where you and I might see Prospect Park, my children see salad greens.
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Jun 29, 2012

Paradise regained: Clayton Christensen and the path to...

Paradise regained: Clayton Christensen and the path to salvation blogs.reuters.com/...
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Jun 28, 2012

"I think there’s just a button that we’ll push." Is how you...

"I think there’s just a button that we’ll push." Is how you shut down Minitel. nytimes.com/...
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Jun 27, 2012

because usenet was one big snugglefest

@felixsalmon because usenet was one big snugglefest
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Jun 27, 2012

this makes sense because google glasses already make me...

this makes sense because google glasses already make me want to jump from a high place
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Jun 27, 2012

For free users sure. New York City Gold starts at...

@gnat For free users sure. New York City Gold starts at $30,000/month and it's amazing.
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Jun 27, 2012

NOW DO A THOUSAND

@betabeat NOW DO A THOUSAND
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Jun 27, 2012

What businesses make money in non-obvious ways?...

What businesses make money in non-obvious ways? quora.com/...
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Jun 27, 2012

I get less annoyed with tourists when I think of them as...

I get less annoyed with tourists when I think of them as new users.
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Jun 27, 2012

Kitchen tips https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/2180795227870...

Kitchen tips twitter.com/...
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Jun 27, 2012

99 hilarious tech tweeters and @anildash...

99 hilarious tech tweeters and @anildash #slide1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://betabeat.com/2012/06/the-100-funniest-tech-twitterers/#slide1
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Jun 27, 2012

Buzzbeat made me 1% of its list of hilarious techtwoggers:...

Buzzbeat made me 1% of its list of hilarious techtwoggers: betabeat.com/... 99 HUGS TO ALL
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Jun 27, 2012

Heading to work thinking, do I need to stop in somewhere...

Heading to work thinking, do I need to stop in somewhere for an eye-opener?
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Jun 26, 2012

no they actually do come with candy and earplugs for people...

@kissane @maxfenton no they actually do come with candy and earplugs for people nearby
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Jun 26, 2012

If you stand and turn you will see my gigantic head rising...

@RachelFersh If you stand and turn you will see my gigantic head rising over the other seats way in the back on the left.
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Jun 26, 2012

row 20 d e f we def have snuggles for you if you want m

@RachelFersh row 20 d e f we def have snuggles for you if you want m
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Jun 26, 2012

I do! But I am in row 20 with wife and twins. Let me know...

@RachelFersh I do! But I am in row 20 with wife and twins. Let me know if you want a crying baby.
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Jun 25, 2012

it is more like I have to explain mining virtual gold and...

@smithsj it is more like I have to explain mining virtual gold and diamonds and she is like um virtual gold and diamonds?
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Jun 25, 2012

yah but the typo actually brought the charm

@ohheygreat @tcarmody yah but the typo actually brought the charm
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Jun 25, 2012

I had the dream again last night where I have to explain...

I had the dream again last night where I have to explain Minecraft to Mary J. Blige.
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Jun 25, 2012

already done but in reality

@tcarmody already done but in reality
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Jun 25, 2012

appreciate the offer but I need a tactile keypad

@tcarmody appreciate the offer but I need a tactile keypad
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Jun 25, 2012

i'm headed to hayward so its very context specific

@sufferfest i'm headed to hayward so its very context specific
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Jun 25, 2012

In that last tweet I was looking for a synonym for...

In that last tweet I was looking for a synonym for "fucking" and came up with "iPhone-wielding." #truestory #thinkaboutit
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Jun 25, 2012

Oh my god let the people off the train before you board you...

Oh my god let the people off the train before you board you iPhone-wielding SAVAGES.
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Jun 25, 2012

thank you all for the glass of water and the tour. I...

@Mike_FTW thank you all for the glass of water and the tour. I enjoyed the podcasting studio.
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Jun 25, 2012

Stalking the shit out of @mike_ftw right now (taken from...

Stalking the shit out of @mike_ftw right now (taken from across the st) twitter.com/...
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Jun 25, 2012

orthography 4 lyfe

orthography 4 lyfe
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Jun 23, 2012

Fact: In celebrating Alan Turing's birthday we are able to...

Fact: In celebrating Alan Turing's birthday we are able to simulate the celebration of any celebrate-able birthday.
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Jun 23, 2012

I know, I know, it's serious.

I know, I know, it's serious.
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Jun 23, 2012

Carob at the Co-op

Carob at the Co-op
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Jun 21, 2012

Oh man I really could be younger in this situation.

Oh man I really could be younger in this situation.
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Jun 21, 2012

seriously you guys read the fountainhead it makes so much...

@bizweekgraphics @harrisj @smalera seriously you guys read the fountainhead it makes so much sense it will change how u c the coop
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Jun 21, 2012

dude but have you thought about what you're REALLY making...

@smalera @bizweekgraphics dude but have you thought about what you're REALLY making up i mean REALLY
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Jun 21, 2012

And a huge network of weird exciting crazy people, and one...

@bizweekgraphics @harrisj And a huge network of weird exciting crazy people, and one of the two industries I love. I ♥ industries.
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Jun 21, 2012

seriously I could drive a small car through the aisles at...

@bizweekgraphics @smalera seriously I could drive a small car through the aisles at the coop here don't remind me of what awaits in ditmas
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Jun 20, 2012

what was your wife selling?

@evanmcc what was your wife selling?
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Jun 20, 2012

I believe this. My wife works a farmer's market on the...

@evanmcc I believe this. My wife works a farmer's market on the upper west side and the same damn thing transpires.
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Jun 20, 2012

in davis. And that is a very fair point duly noted.

@evanmcc in davis. And that is a very fair point duly noted.
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Jun 20, 2012

Dudes with guitars at the farmer's market singing rocky...

Dudes with guitars at the farmer's market singing rocky raccoon have the same rights as I do
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Jun 20, 2012

Unexpected signal https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/21550119...

Unexpected signal twitter.com/...
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Jun 20, 2012

right wife grew up here and warned me. Some weird...

@bizweekgraphics right wife grew up here and warned me. Some weird unamerican utopia where the same laws and rights apply to all
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Jun 20, 2012

plus I rented a bike and everyone keeps waving me along....

@bizweekgraphics plus I rented a bike and everyone keeps waving me along. Way outside of my comfort zone.
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Jun 20, 2012

Bike repair stand, Davis, CA https://twitter.com/ftrain/stat...

Bike repair stand, Davis, CA twitter.com/...
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Jun 20, 2012

"for everyone's safety your mouth needs to be in the...

"for everyone's safety your mouth needs to be in the not-talking position"
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Jun 18, 2012

five hours in and no frustrated humphing from nearby folk

@zandys five hours in and no frustrated humphing from nearby folk
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Jun 18, 2012

She also attached earplugs.

She also attached earplugs.
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Jun 18, 2012

it's all my wife. Idea came from a local twins list I think.

@michelet it's all my wife. Idea came from a local twins list I think.
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Jun 18, 2012

visiting family in Davis

@kendall visiting family in Davis
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Jun 18, 2012

My wife handed out fancy candy, with a little card that...

My wife handed out fancy candy, with a little card that introduces the twins, to the twelve people closest to our seats.
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Jun 18, 2012

Imagining what it would be like to get fired by a...

Imagining what it would be like to get fired by a telepresence robot.
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Jun 18, 2012

yeah I unfollowed everyone because I am crazy email is in...

@yoni yeah I unfollowed everyone because I am crazy email is in profile
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Jun 17, 2012

I got so many I can't tell you. http://mlkshk.com/p/GGQE

@yoni I got so many I can't tell you. mlkshk.com/...
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Jun 17, 2012

For what age? (Two nine-month-olds that seems complicated....

@meangrape For what age? (Two nine-month-olds that seems complicated. Mostly they look at stuff and squawk amiably.)
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Jun 17, 2012

Ready for JFK to SFO w/wife, twins. Carseats,...

Ready for JFK to SFO w/wife, twins. Carseats, French-car-sized-stroller, bottles, foodpaks, toys, and candy for seatmates.
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Jun 16, 2012

If we live in the future then what are we waiting for?

If we live in the future then what are we waiting for?
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Jun 16, 2012

Community-supported inbox cleanup! Or just sit people in a...

@livlab Community-supported inbox cleanup! Or just sit people in a room and get them to triage with you. Pair inboxing!
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Jun 16, 2012

It tells me that you live in the past when you say that we...

It tells me that you live in the past when you say that we live in the future.
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Jun 16, 2012

That gorilla doesn't look all that much like Winston...

That gorilla doesn't look all that much like Winston Churchill.
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Jun 16, 2012

I'm thinking more that you jut trade inboxes, do your best...

@livlab I'm thinking more that you jut trade inboxes, do your best to clean em out and trade back. Conceptual fun, reality disaster.
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Jun 16, 2012

I'm willing to trade. This would in fact be awesome.

@livlab I'm willing to trade. This would in fact be awesome.
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Jun 15, 2012

I owe you an email

I owe you an email
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Jun 15, 2012

anything with waterfront

@abackstrom anything with waterfront
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Jun 15, 2012

the bridge itself prospect park walk around williamsburg or...

@abackstrom the bridge itself prospect park walk around williamsburg or go fishing in sheepshead bay the Floyd Bennett wasteland
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Jun 15, 2012

we were so poor we used rental floss

we were so poor we used rental floss
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Jun 15, 2012

shot: delicious pour of shampoo over a short stack....

@mariabustillos shot: delicious pour of shampoo over a short stack. waitress coughs up a soap bubble. whole family laughs.
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Jun 15, 2012

pancakes are the pert plus of food in that they are both...

pancakes are the pert plus of food in that they are both dinner and dessert
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Jun 15, 2012

Robert Caro LBJ/Donald Knuth TAoCP mashup.

Robert Caro LBJ/Donald Knuth TAoCP mashup.
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Jun 15, 2012

"Pilot of the Airwaves" would work really well with...

"Pilot of the Airwaves" would work really well with didgeridoo accompaniment.
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Jun 15, 2012

shit man we nearly had it all

@rustyk5 shit man we nearly had it all
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Jun 15, 2012

i'll need things to ask

@rustyk5 i'll need things to ask
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Jun 15, 2012

i'm asking for a friend

i'm asking for a friend
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Jun 15, 2012

true! the channel from science to art has pop culture in...

@barrysaunders true! the channel from science to art has pop culture in the middle
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Jun 15, 2012

How quickly "Design Thinking" becomes "Design Talking."

How quickly "Design Thinking" becomes "Design Talking."
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Jun 14, 2012

I have some bad news which is that the young women in that...

I have some bad news which is that the young women in that video are not actually enrolled in college.
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Jun 14, 2012

building sites/apps is supposed to be all notchy but...

@billwasik building sites/apps is supposed to be all notchy but instead it's this weird tippy tower that you pray someone else knocks down
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Jun 14, 2012

The Web in 2012 is still more like Jenga than LEGOs.

The Web in 2012 is still more like Jenga than LEGOs.
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Jun 14, 2012

Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately...

Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by process.
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Jun 14, 2012

let me sip into something more comfortable

let me sip into something more comfortable
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Jun 14, 2012

I keep wondering what the persona research was for TV in...

I keep wondering what the persona research was for TV in cabs.
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Jun 14, 2012

god as would i

@beep god as would i
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Jun 14, 2012

I'm going to release club mixes of everything I write. Just...

I'm going to release club mixes of everything I write. Just the word "oonch" 1,500 times and the title cut up and repeated at random.
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Jun 13, 2012

Tonite! https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/213091168752373760...

Tonite! twitter.com/...
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Jun 13, 2012

it actually was very soothing. Oh well if Scott's here I'm...

@kleinmatic it actually was very soothing. Oh well if Scott's here I'm among friends.
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Jun 13, 2012

Advice from (amazing) twins at tonight's reading: Have a...

Advice from (amazing) twins at tonight's reading: Have a third; travel the world; eat all kinds of food.
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Jun 13, 2012

This was looping on a screen at the Mirror Awards as I...

@kleinmatic This was looping on a screen at the Mirror Awards as I waited in the lobby. I found it comforting. twitter.com/...
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Jun 13, 2012

Readability gets rid of payment model and gives away a...

Readability gets rid of payment model and gives away a bunch of money: blog.readability.com/...
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Jun 12, 2012

If only. But bout dad stuff.

@kleinmatic If only. But bout dad stuff.
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Jun 12, 2012

I have a reading tomorrow, which means I have a writing...

I have a reading tomorrow, which means I have a writing tomorrow morning.
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Jun 12, 2012

The 2012 Mirror Awards are tomorrow so I made Readlists....

The 2012 Mirror Awards are tomorrow so I made Readlists. Vol 1–2: readlists.com/... Vol 3–4: readlists.com/...
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Jun 12, 2012

Last Words in Aliens Media http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Last...

Last Words in Aliens Media en.wikiquote.org/...
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Jun 12, 2012

pretty likely that it did, now that you mention it

@michaelroston pretty likely that it did, now that you mention it
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Jun 12, 2012

If Freedom! '90 was a person instead of a song by George...

If Freedom! '90 was a person instead of a song by George Michael it could have graduated from college by now.
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Jun 11, 2012

5-10 minutes is what I was told. If it goes too fast I'll...

@thornburgh @pacificstandard 5-10 minutes is what I was told. If it goes too fast I'll read it twice.
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Jun 11, 2012

To expand on that retweet: I'm reading for a few minutes...

To expand on that retweet: I'm reading for a few minutes with @DadWagon at @pacificstandard, Brooklyn. Wednesday at 7PM.
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Jun 11, 2012

it looks like a great big candy box filled with exciting...

@mariabustillos it looks like a great big candy box filled with exciting weirdness candy
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Jun 11, 2012

I think if you whistled they would just sidle away

@rogre I think if you whistled they would just sidle away
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Jun 11, 2012

much like that but maybe ghostlier

@rogre much like that but maybe ghostlier
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Jun 11, 2012

I just realized that today I complimented @jennydeluxe on...

@Choire I just realized that today I complimented @jennydeluxe on her piece in /Jezebel/ & hereby apologize to America. thehairpin.com/...
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Jun 10, 2012

details like that make life better

@_ajayp details like that make life better
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Jun 10, 2012

Grid rapture. (I've never landed at LAX at night.)

Grid rapture. (I've never landed at LAX at night.)
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Jun 10, 2012

No one has ever tried to pet them before. I'm not sure how...

@mariabustillos No one has ever tried to pet them before. I'm not sure how it will go.
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Jun 10, 2012

They are lost dogs. Light shines through them.

They are lost dogs. Light shines through them.
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Jun 10, 2012

They lift their heads from their paws, put their heads back...

They lift their heads from their paws, put their heads back down.
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Jun 10, 2012

I'm waiting at OAK. There would be about a dozen here, one...

I'm waiting at OAK. There would be about a dozen here, one under the men's room sinks, two in an empty booth at Chili's.
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Jun 10, 2012

I have a recurring fantasy of small ghostly lost dogs who...

I have a recurring fantasy of small ghostly lost dogs who live quietly in busy places. No one talks about them.
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Jun 10, 2012

it was great to meet you and awesome you drove back in to...

@ohheygreat it was great to meet you and awesome you drove back in to say hello.
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Jun 10, 2012

all I ever talk about is fear secrets maybe python

@tcarmody all I ever talk about is fear secrets maybe python
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Jun 8, 2012

last night was horrible

@Mike_FTW last night was horrible
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Jun 8, 2012

well not so much adventures. i just like seeing what's...

@thatstyping well not so much adventures. i just like seeing what's going on on the rare occurrences i leave home.
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Jun 8, 2012

I look forward to your backlash.

I look forward to your backlash.
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Jun 8, 2012

Mostly the latter, and me.

@thatstyping Mostly the latter, and me.
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Jun 8, 2012

Once years ago I was catering a barbershop quartet...

Once years ago I was catering a barbershop quartet convention and they all got drunk and started to sing at once. Charles Ives dreamland.
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Jun 8, 2012

y, but just for tonight

@davewiner y, but just for tonight
➛
Jun 8, 2012

like five minutes sadly but back soon I hope

@StrangeNative like five minutes sadly but back soon I hope
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Jun 8, 2012

I know I should take a cab but my love of public transit...

I know I should take a cab but my love of public transit runs so deep. Who gets on the midnight trolley? I must know.
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Jun 8, 2012

Scallops

Scallops
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Jun 8, 2012

oh god. Tribal primate dynamics. I guess screaming shaaaame...

@kendall oh god. Tribal primate dynamics. I guess screaming shaaaame again and again accomplishes nada.
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Jun 8, 2012

ugh. Just ugh.

@kendall ugh. Just ugh.
➛
Jun 8, 2012

I'm really enjoying this bar by myself.

I'm really enjoying this bar by myself.
➛
Jun 8, 2012

until dawn tomorrow

@jimray until dawn tomorrow
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Jun 7, 2012

that's too bad--would love to see you

@samuelclay @anildash that's too bad--would love to see you
➛
Jun 7, 2012

If tonight goes well I'll get Monteiro to sign my boobs.

If tonight goes well I'll get Monteiro to sign my boobs.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

waiting for bus...why is it so cold...need something...

@anildash waiting for bus...why is it so cold...need something fleece...from rei...fading
➛
Jun 7, 2012

God this would be an amazing hoax if I was still in...

God this would be an amazing hoax if I was still in Brooklyn.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

I'd better leave if I'm going to get there by 9. Glad this...

@ftrain @mat @Mike_FTW @ohheygreat I'd better leave if I'm going to get there by 9. Glad this turned into a fun walk by myself.
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Jun 7, 2012

that said it's not like i'm hitting the gym here

@mat @Mike_FTW @ohheygreat that said it's not like i'm hitting the gym here
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Jun 7, 2012

No no it's a convenient 37 minute walk from where I'm at.

@mat @Mike_FTW @ohheygreat No no it's a convenient 37 minute walk from where I'm at.
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Jun 7, 2012

Shit I wish I knew how to use Foursquare this is totally...

@Mike_FTW @ohheygreat Shit I wish I knew how to use Foursquare this is totally what it's for isn't it
➛
Jun 7, 2012

But murder in self-defense.

@pfhawkins But murder in self-defense.
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Jun 7, 2012

The most dangerous game but with QR codes

@Mike_FTW @ohheygreat The most dangerous game but with QR codes
➛
Jun 7, 2012

Alone in a strange city a girl what she needs to do to get...

@jeffmacintyre Alone in a strange city a girl what she needs to do to get by.
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Jun 7, 2012

3AM EST showing. Drinking best backup bet. Does this...

@Mike_FTW @ohheygreat 3AM EST showing. Drinking best backup bet. Does this backwater have a bar worth drinking in?
➛
Jun 7, 2012

Is there a good place to get a burrito in this...

Is there a good place to get a burrito in this neighborhood? Also what do people think about abortion?
➛
Jun 7, 2012

Yeah I ask passerby for equity.

@theodoreross Yeah I ask passerby for equity.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

At the Pickwick. Which explodey movie did you see?

@kendall At the Pickwick. Which explodey movie did you see?
➛
Jun 7, 2012

Right, that is very high on the list along with Avengers...

@MacDiva Right, that is very high on the list along with Avengers and MIBIII.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

I'm staying in the Mission, away from babies, and all I...

I'm staying in the Mission, away from babies, and all I want to do is see the most explodey movie possible after 9 movieless months.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

Let me show you the demo of my people.

Let me show you the demo of my people.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

agreed--love that book--wife suggested it. what a find that...

@iboxifoo agreed--love that book--wife suggested it. what a find that police officer was for kidder.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

At JFK. I fly so rarely that it still feels like I'm going...

At JFK. I fly so rarely that it still feels like I'm going somewhere.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

BTW Re: SVA, Jennifer Daniel is a hilarious genius teaching...

BTW Re: SVA, Jennifer Daniel is a hilarious genius teaching an awesome short course on DATA NARRATIVES this summer bit.ly/...
➛
Jun 7, 2012

it was a speech so different rhythms--not optimized through...

@poundifdef it was a speech so different rhythms--not optimized through the epigrammatron like usual.
➛
Jun 7, 2012

The content-focused webzine @Contents published my SVA IXD...

The content-focused webzine @Contents published my SVA IXD keynote contentsmagazine.com/... I don't mention XML promise
➛
Jun 6, 2012

Crush, "Jellyhead" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoT7nTT8kL...

Crush, "Jellyhead" youtube.com/...
➛
Jun 6, 2012

Wait so this means no July release of Unobtrudability?

@richziade @timothymeaney Wait so this means no July release of Unobtrudability?
➛
Jun 6, 2012

They were a major improvement over obtrusive sidenotes.

@richziade They were a major improvement over obtrusive sidenotes.
➛
Jun 6, 2012

Unobtrusive Sidenotes (Glee Cast Version)

@richziade Unobtrusive Sidenotes (Glee Cast Version)
➛
Jun 6, 2012

Watch a lot of episodes of hoarders to prepare yourself.

@halvorson Watch a lot of episodes of hoarders to prepare yourself.
➛
Jun 5, 2012

The tragic consequences of baby bath salts...

The tragic consequences of baby bath salts mlkshk.com/...
➛
Jun 5, 2012

who will speak for the bots

who will speak for the bots
➛
Jun 5, 2012

All Things Daily Watch

@kb All Things Daily Watch
➛
Jun 5, 2012

The three most disappointing words in the language are,...

The three most disappointing words in the language are, arguably, "(Glee Cast Version)."
➛
Jun 5, 2012

For reference: "Pinched and bitter facial expression"...

For reference: "Pinched and bitter facial expression" en.wikipedia.org/...
➛
Jun 5, 2012

So you're a mommyblogger?

@tcarmody So you're a mommyblogger?
➛
Jun 5, 2012

DealBeatBetaVentureCrunchBreakerWatchSider

DealBeatBetaVentureCrunchBreakerWatchSider
➛
Jun 5, 2012

Can everyone just apologize and move on? Or would that...

Can everyone just apologize and move on? Or would that totally screw up the business model?
➛
Jun 5, 2012

Foursquare but for writers, so instead of mayor you're...

Foursquare but for writers, so instead of mayor you're writer-in-residence.
➛
Jun 5, 2012

Correction: Bill Murray uses a modified Zuse Z3.

Correction: Bill Murray uses a modified Zuse Z3.
➛
Jun 5, 2012

isn't it more fun to believe that he's on 13.1 gorgeous...

@kevinpurdy isn't it more fun to believe that he's on 13.1 gorgeous groundhog
➛
Jun 5, 2012

I owe you one ten-thousandth of a keyboard.

@Mike_FTW I owe you one ten-thousandth of a keyboard.
➛
Jun 5, 2012

It's crazy that Bill Murray only uses Ubuntu.

It's crazy that Bill Murray only uses Ubuntu.
➛
Jun 5, 2012

Cut it into thirds and we're talking.

@tedherman Cut it into thirds and we're talking.
➛
Jun 5, 2012

MICROPAYMENTS

MICROPAYMENTS
➛
Jun 5, 2012

Beneath a bridge, in a velveteen suit and torn top hat,...

Beneath a bridge, in a velveteen suit and torn top hat, amidst heavy furniture and moldering taxidermy, lives the elaborate troll.
➛
Jun 4, 2012

(Sorry--sort by popularity--Rise Above is #9, not #6,...

(Sorry--sort by popularity--Rise Above is #9, not #6, beaten by #8 Arthur's Theme by Christopher Cross.)
➛
Jun 4, 2012

Spotify searches on dates (i.e. "year:1981") show fans...

Spotify searches on dates (i.e. "year:1981") show fans rewriting history. Phil Collins, Blondie, ... and #6 song is "Rise Above."
➛
Jun 4, 2012

They will come to the hospital for $150. This is actually...

@bdeskin @danielpunkass They will come to the hospital for $150. This is actually really good to know!
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Jun 4, 2012

Companies like that are the only reason NYC functions. See...

Companies like that are the only reason NYC functions. See also: One-day passport firms, real estate law, etc.
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Jun 4, 2012

Apparently it's two super-boring days and $500. It would be...

@bdeskin Apparently it's two super-boring days and $500. It would be like owning a pickup around moving day.
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Jun 4, 2012

The greatest web page for a Times Square-area notary in the...

The greatest web page for a Times Square-area notary in the history of America: neighborlynotary.net/...
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Jun 4, 2012

Just learned that TD Bank is the place to be for no-ta-ree.

@danielpunkass Just learned that TD Bank is the place to be for no-ta-ree.
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Jun 4, 2012

to be honest i was ecoffended

to be honest i was ecoffended
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Jun 4, 2012

Nobody in this city can notarize shit.

Nobody in this city can notarize shit.
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Jun 3, 2012

For $1.5mil, you can own the movie rights to the story of a...

For $1.5mil, you can own the movie rights to the story of a dolphin that learns golf from Arnold Palmer #ht_500wt_1287" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.ebay.com/itm/1st-Ed-Arnold-Palmer-Golfin-Dolphin-Book-Movie-Rights-/250789495068?pt=Antiquarian_Collectible&hash=item3a6438011c#ht_500wt_1287
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Jun 3, 2012

Porgy and Bees

Porgy and Bees
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Jun 2, 2012

My daughter keeps biting my son and I keep blaming baby...

My daughter keeps biting my son and I keep blaming baby bath salts.
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Jun 2, 2012

Well but now that is not that post, that would be a...

@mariabustillos @peterrojas Well but now that is not that post, that would be a different post.
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Jun 2, 2012

Chunka chunka whirrrrrrr chunk chicka (sound of drive...

@AdamJWynne Chunka chunka whirrrrrrr chunk chicka (sound of drive booting WB).
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Jun 2, 2012

The @peterrojas secret to web success is generosity and...

The @peterrojas secret to web success is generosity and empathy roj.as/...
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Jun 2, 2012

Millennial cats text when they want to go out.

Millennial cats text when they want to go out.
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Jun 2, 2012

Ask MeFi: I am a youngish person, how do I talk on the...

Ask MeFi: I am a youngish person, how do I talk on the PHONE? ask.metafilter.com/...
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Jun 1, 2012

My nephew Bill (who got his M.Ed. two weeks ago) created an...

My nephew Bill (who got his M.Ed. two weeks ago) created an amazing playlist. ♫ Super Hip Music Series spoti.fi/... #Spotify
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