Ftrain, by Paul Ford

PLATEAU!

Same weight for a week. I've been riding fast lately, and whereas the number on the scale is a fine indicator, when I flex my leg muscles there are various changes in the neighborhood--hollows in the thighs and shelves in the calves; less desire to coast (indeed people keep passing me, evaluating me as a slow rider, and then slowing down in front of me, which I endeavor to accept as my lot, or I pass).

But a review of this blog shows that I met my calorie goals 1/3 of the time in the last six days. There's no deadline, but.

It was logged and noted. I knew I was going over each night, but did so because I've been exercising consistently and because I am a little bored by the general scope of my life and feel less bored when I have a few extra crackers. And because I have learned that it's no big deal to go over every now and then.

This was always the problem and likely will always be the problem; it is human, especially my variety of human. I'd come home with a pile of Chinese food and think, "well, tomorrow." Tomorrow I will quit smoking, edit the manuscript, write the story, and cut the calories. Situps. Graduate school. Reading de Saussure and Barthes. Tomorrow does okay. And then tomorrow.

One day is no big deal, but four out of six is a big deal; and last month I met the goal only 43 percent of the time. I continued to lose weight, so I dismissed the issue. But now--you can't see the number and you won't until I lose 15 more lbs.--but I must return to thinking inside the box.

Weight: 314.5 lbs