Ftrain, by Paul Ford
October 2019
Dropbox...are you in the lifestyle
@DropboxSupport Dropbox...are you in the lifestyle
➛Apparently I named the Dropbox folder with our taxes...
Apparently I named the Dropbox folder with our taxes "shared-wife" and someone at work was looking over her shoulder and asked if she was in the lifestyle.
➛Happy 4th birthday @PostlightStudio. You are very good, and...
Happy 4th birthday @PostlightStudio. You are very good, and I love you.
➛This is incredibly sad and an absolutely awful decision...
And where did you guys meet?
10,000 Maniacs was a good band and many of us enjoyed...
10,000 Maniacs was a good band and many of us enjoyed buying their albums, tapes, and CDs in the late 1980s and 1990s. But consider, if you'd invested in an index fund, you'd have over 157,000 Maniacs by now.
➛Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but retold as the...
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but retold as the story of the relationship between my phone and my Bluetooth headphones.
➛This apple carries the tragic memory of another apple.
A Peter Gabriel album needs one pop song about geopolitics,...
A Peter Gabriel album needs one pop song about geopolitics, one song where a prisoner of conscience is murdered, one song that is clearly related to Jungian analysis, and one incredibly awkward Motown sex song about Peter Gabriel's unbelievable pounding talent.
➛It's going to be awkward when Trump loses and everyone...
It's going to be awkward when Trump loses and everyone still hates each other.
➛I name all my variables Margaret or Pauline because I...
I name all my variables Margaret or Pauline because I program using Neko Case. This joke doesn't work.
➛it's wild to search your tweets for the words "son" or...
Friends, I don't know how to say this, but in addition to...
Friends, I don't know how to say this, but in addition to my regular @PostlightStudio podcast co-hosting responsibilities, I am now co-hosting a revived Stack Overflow podcast with two Stackfolk, @SaraJChipps + @benpopper. open.spotify.com/... (c.f.: stackoverflow.blog/...
➛The greatest distance in the world is between a basket of...
The greatest distance in the world is between a basket of clean, folded laundry and the closet.
➛More than 50 years ago Andy Warhol already understood can...
Literally I swear to god "CYCLE OF VIOLENCE! MY TURN!"...
Literally I swear to god "CYCLE OF VIOLENCE! MY TURN!" (Smash) through the door.
➛I guess that's progress
I guess that's progress
➛I just had a long talk with the 8yo twins about hitting and...
I just had a long talk with the 8yo twins about hitting and now they are yelling "it's my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence" before hitting each other.
➛AND NOW A WORD ABOUT PLUMS
This is...truly great.
I think if you tweet back and forth with someone five or...
I think if you tweet back and forth with someone five or six times it's okay to call them your friend.
➛I would just like to say to UX designers that many of us...
I would just like to say to UX designers that many of us zoom in and out, and we do it a lot, and it should always be easy to do it, to the point of having a special widget that is big and makes it obvious.
➛I will gladly chew Glenlivet pods and can't wait to buy a...
I will gladly chew Glenlivet pods and can't wait to buy a bag of them at Family Dollar.
➛I just got caught out on this beautiful fall day buying...
I just got caught out on this beautiful fall day buying “Salt Fat Acid Heat” in the Prospect Park Barnes & Noble and had no explanation except that I'm an utterly basic person.
➛I just asked my son for his energy level and he gave me...
I just asked my son for his energy level and he gave me ”88%” like a phone battery.
➛One day we're going to push production too far.
One day we're going to push production too far.
➛Me: Did you turn in the permission slips? 8yo son: Yes for...
Me: Did you turn in the permission slips?
8yo son: Yes for the clubs, except for the field trip, because I need ten dollars. But my homework folder that had it was switched with another kid's folder.
(I silently consider my options for about two minutes.)
Me: Here's ten bucks.
➛8yo son: Yes for the clubs, except for the field trip, because I need ten dollars. But my homework folder that had it was switched with another kid's folder.
(I silently consider my options for about two minutes.)
Me: Here's ten bucks.
You're never fully present anywhere for about six years and...
Yes thank you I'll have the whole chiken appetizer.
Potential client: What I really need is a droid that...
Potential client: What I really need is a droid that understands the binary language of moisture vaporators.
Me: Vaporators? Sir, my first job was programming binary loadlifters—very similar to your vaporators in most respects.
➛Me: Vaporators? Sir, my first job was programming binary loadlifters—very similar to your vaporators in most respects.
As a man I demand an untitled gander game.
As a man I demand an untitled gander game.
➛I know what all of your replies will be. But I wish I could...
I know what all of your replies will be. But I wish I could go back ten years in my career and take this job because:
1) Global warming.
2) I love this city.
3) Communication is an undervalued but critical part of infrastructure.
➛1) Global warming.
2) I love this city.
3) Communication is an undervalued but critical part of infrastructure.
FRIENDS do you want a big editorial job in downtown...
FRIENDS do you want a big editorial job in downtown Manhattan?
Where your work reaches millions of people...
you're fairly compensated...
and your coworkers are kind?
Work with @jgee at the MTA to edit + operate mta.info (and much more).
docs.google.com/...
➛Where your work reaches millions of people...
you're fairly compensated...
and your coworkers are kind?
Work with @jgee at the MTA to edit + operate mta.info (and much more).
docs.google.com/...