Ftrain, by Paul Ford

October 2017

Oct 31, 2017

You're FREEEE slack is down freeeeeeeee

You're FREEEE slack is down freeeeeeeee
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Oct 31, 2017

I'm missing it because of flu, and sad, but it's the...

@kitabet I'm missing it because of flu, and sad, but it's the absolute best and the Albemarle parade too.
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Oct 31, 2017

(By graphic I mean violent obvs.)

(By graphic I mean violent obvs.)
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Oct 31, 2017

The Vice News summary of the attack downtown is helpful and...

The Vice News summary of the attack downtown is helpful and does not show or embed graphic media. news.vice.com/...
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Oct 31, 2017

It's much worse. Doc McStuffins practices foameopathic...

@katienotopoulos It's much worse. Doc McStuffins practices foameopathic medicine.
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Oct 31, 2017

lots of “If you sons a bitches want taft-hartley then you...

@neuey lots of “If you sons a bitches want taft-hartley then you goddam well can have it for an epitaph”
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Oct 31, 2017

I think they'd be so crabby, and then he'd get trolled and...

@neuey I think they'd be so crabby, and then he'd get trolled and yell at everyone.
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Oct 31, 2017

A whole life, wasted.

@amyhoy A whole life, wasted.
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Oct 31, 2017

so that's where they record cheddar which is the cable...

@bn2b so that's where they record cheddar which is the cable channel that appears in twitter
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Oct 31, 2017

Rob also answered listener questions about Bluetooth. Write...

@robdubbin Rob also answered listener questions about Bluetooth. Write in! hello@postlight.com
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Oct 31, 2017

He was a Colbert Report writer. Then @robdubbin thought,...

He was a Colbert Report writer. Then @robdubbin thought, “I'll make better screenwriting tools.” This is his story. trackchanges.postlight.com/...
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Oct 31, 2017

Memes kill.

Memes kill.
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Oct 31, 2017

For 9 years, I've thought at least weekly about this sad...

For 9 years, I've thought at least weekly about this sad MetaFilter post re: putting “Penis Goes Where” on photos #1993750" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.metafilter.com/68618/FAIL#1993750 twitter.com/...
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Oct 31, 2017

That’s...Swiss. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/9253451824...

That’s...Swiss. twitter.com/...
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Oct 31, 2017

Ben Franklin was very likely our finest potential Tweeter.

@tcarmody Ben Franklin was very likely our finest potential Tweeter.
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Oct 31, 2017

Oh god no wait 100% teddy Roosevelt.

Oh god no wait 100% teddy Roosevelt.
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Oct 31, 2017

Coolidge would have been like once every six months.

@jeremy_keehn Coolidge would have been like once every six months.
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Oct 31, 2017

I wonder if publishing could have better met the challenges...

I wonder if publishing could have better met the challenges of the Internet if it hadn’t spent so much on sealed separation agreements.
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Oct 31, 2017

God bless the teachers at our PS about to manage a candy...

God bless the teachers at our PS about to manage a candy exchange with 24 first-grade kids in costumes.
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Oct 31, 2017

Lincoln would have had the worst mentions.

Lincoln would have had the worst mentions.
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Oct 31, 2017

Which presidents would have been good at Twitter? JFK,...

Which presidents would have been good at Twitter? JFK, Reagan, FDR, Lincoln. Jefferson.
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Oct 31, 2017

Everybody stay hydrated, it’s gonna be another scorcher.

Everybody stay hydrated, it’s gonna be another scorcher.
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Oct 31, 2017

POLL: Parents, what do you miss most?

POLL: Parents, what do you miss most?
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Oct 30, 2017

Context: https://youtu.be/D7XCkqyrBX4

Context: youtu.be/...
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Oct 30, 2017

Some days you need to go...@ rogue

@bluechoochoo Some days you need to go...@ rogue
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Oct 30, 2017

also they are right by my office and i walk past them and i...

@bluechoochoo also they are right by my office and i walk past them and i have so many signs i want to hold up
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Oct 29, 2017

Either way tomorrow the one-word headline MELTDOWN is going...

Either way tomorrow the one-word headline MELTDOWN is going to work fine.
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Oct 29, 2017

This is a really good primer, thanks for writing it.

@caseyjohnston This is a really good primer, thanks for writing it.
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Oct 29, 2017

Here, this is me. https://youtu.be/te7bbWBXusk

Here, this is me. youtu.be/...
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Oct 29, 2017

I’m a little sick and it’s raining and whenever that...

I’m a little sick and it’s raining and whenever that happens 10,000 Maniacs starts playing on an unstoppable loop in my head.
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Oct 28, 2017

Everyone needs to stop with the Stranger Things and focus...

Everyone needs to stop with the Stranger Things and focus on some Manger Things. twitter.com/...
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Oct 28, 2017

I’m glad you have this.

@CakeRavens I’m glad you have this.
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Oct 28, 2017

Gonna be a lot of David S. Pumpkins pants crumpled on...

Gonna be a lot of David S. Pumpkins pants crumpled on random floors tomorrow.
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Oct 28, 2017

Our team is empowered to order suffering-free snacks...

@PostlightStudio Our team is empowered to order suffering-free snacks without management input.
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Oct 28, 2017

I didn't even know it was about child slavery until I was...

@PostlightStudio I didn't even know it was about child slavery until I was told, I just thought it was peachier.
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Oct 28, 2017

I’m gonna miss local news.

@textfiles I’m gonna miss local news.
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Oct 28, 2017

After local news fully dies and no one is checking it will...

@goldman After local news fully dies and no one is checking it will really take off.
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Oct 28, 2017

The original story lays it out in detail and the documents...

The original story lays it out in detail and the documents are superb. billingsgazette.com/...
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Oct 28, 2017

Gifts. Take it from me. If you write a post people just ask...

@bn2b Gifts. Take it from me. If you write a post people just ask FOR things.
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Oct 27, 2017

These are great. Also scary. https://jezebel.com/10-scary-st...

These are great. Also scary. jezebel.com/...
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Oct 27, 2017

Shifting never gets addressed in the literature. But...

@TheRealTeagle Shifting never gets addressed in the literature. But driving dogs are physics wise like two sticks jammed into a pumpkin.MAYBE a Great Dane?
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Oct 27, 2017

I just don’t see the motor control it’s like asking a dog...

@TheRealTeagle I just don’t see the motor control it’s like asking a dog to stand up and clap.
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Oct 27, 2017

Lisa....thank you for being your amazing, kind, and...

@lisawilkins @mikeindustries Lisa....thank you for being your amazing, kind, and generous self. Big TODAY fan. Paul
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Oct 27, 2017

First of all, Hollywood, a driving dog wouldn’t steer with...

First of all, Hollywood, a driving dog wouldn’t steer with paws, a driving dog would BITE the steering wheel.
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Oct 27, 2017

No judgment, truly, I own an OLPC and three Das Keyboards,...

No judgment, truly, I own an OLPC and three Das Keyboards, plus more than one minidisc recorder.
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Oct 27, 2017

Excited for all my friends who just spent $1k so they can...

Excited for all my friends who just spent $1k so they can log into their phones with their face to gram 18mb pictures of airplane wings.
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Oct 26, 2017

I’d like the champagne though.

@mikeindustries I’d like the champagne though.
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Oct 26, 2017

Eventually on the Internet every joke is analyzed as if it...

@mikeindustries Eventually on the Internet every joke is analyzed as if it purported to be fact.
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Oct 26, 2017

I enjoy watching things spread out though. The further they...

@mikeindustries I enjoy watching things spread out though. The further they spread the greater likelihood that the audience misses the irony.
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Oct 26, 2017

My Robocop 2 novelization came in the mail and I can...

@studiesincrap My Robocop 2 novelization came in the mail and I can honestly say I’ve never read anything like it.
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Oct 26, 2017

Are you a dataviz designer who works freelance? How do you...

Are you a dataviz designer who works freelance? How do you feel about making gorgeous BIRD MAPS for @AudubonSociety? DM ME W/MAPS.
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Oct 26, 2017

Who gives a shit what some guy said on the Internet my...

Who gives a shit what some guy said on the Internet my exhausting ducklings? STOP CARING, FOR ALL OF US.
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Oct 26, 2017

People on Twitter are wondering what I meant by “LinkedIn...

People on Twitter are wondering what I meant by “LinkedIn ruined capitalism,” so to clarify: I don't have any idea, or care what I meant.
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Oct 26, 2017

Josh...that was outstanding.

@joshmillard Josh...that was outstanding.
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Oct 26, 2017

Is there a term that describes when you replace a word with...

Is there a term that describes when you replace a word with a really different word? (I called a kids’ umbrella a helmet yesterday.)
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Oct 26, 2017

Well that’s terrible and also sadly typical.

@Vadergirl52 Well that’s terrible and also sadly typical.
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Oct 26, 2017

I want to start playing things off this album at the start...

I want to start playing things off this album at the start of meetings. open.spotify.com/...
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Oct 25, 2017

That slip means that Saturday morning will be spent...

That slip means that Saturday morning will be spent awkwardly watching people scream at each other until it’s your turn.
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Oct 25, 2017

I know there are other cities that receive mail.

I know there are other cities that receive mail.
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Oct 25, 2017

+1 there are other terms but everyone knows exactly what...

@alissamarie @soniasaraiya +1 there are other terms but everyone knows exactly what that is
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Oct 25, 2017

What’s the fastest way to ruin a New Yorker’s life?...

What’s the fastest way to ruin a New Yorker’s life? twitter.com/...
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Oct 25, 2017

I mean shit of course that makes me feel better.

@looks_last I mean shit of course that makes me feel better.
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Oct 25, 2017

proud to have the only halloween name

@WilliamTurton proud to have the only halloween name
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Oct 25, 2017

I invited u u can log in with your twitter handle.

@TaylorLorenz I invited u u can log in with your twitter handle.
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Oct 25, 2017

It's you but with a triangle!

@patbits It's you but with a triangle!
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Oct 25, 2017

Wait...a what who was a who now when? Why?

@patbits Wait...a what who was a who now when? Why?
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Oct 25, 2017

We live in the Zalgo dimension.

@rustyk5 We live in the Zalgo dimension.
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Oct 25, 2017

Dude meant well and it's all good and I'm used to it. But...

Dude meant well and it's all good and I'm used to it. But it turns a day into a sigh.
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Oct 25, 2017

I don't think I can express how unbelievably important it...

I don't think I can express how unbelievably important it is to leave fatties alone at the gym.
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Oct 25, 2017

This truck is a very bad idea.

This truck is a very bad idea.
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Oct 25, 2017

ftrain2000 I think but I was never much on AIM

@_tekton ftrain2000 I think but I was never much on AIM
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Oct 25, 2017

Dude working at the gym just told me he’s proud of me....

Dude working at the gym just told me he’s proud of me. Better than the time a dude working at the gym said I was not even the worst.
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Oct 24, 2017

Apparently in my wife’s tradition you write letters to the...

Apparently in my wife’s tradition you write letters to the tooth fairy with the tooth attached, and it’s a whole thing.
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Oct 24, 2017

of course, it's executive, it was chief peanut officer...

@harrisj @kjhealy of course, it's executive, it was chief peanut officer before it became an answering machine
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Oct 24, 2017

i think that makes it roughly 5x as hilarious

@kjhealy i think that makes it roughly 5x as hilarious
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Oct 24, 2017

did you create this in org mode and then pipe it via pandoc...

@kjhealy did you create this in org mode and then pipe it via pandoc to xelatex with microtype extensions
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Oct 24, 2017

Georg Simon Ohm...welcome to the Resistance.

Georg Simon Ohm...welcome to the Resistance.
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Oct 24, 2017

guys do u like comedy https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/9228...

guys do u like comedy twitter.com/...
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Oct 24, 2017

🎵 I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty,...

🎵 I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty, and bright! 🎵 twitter.com/...
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Oct 24, 2017

Nothing but respect for my supervisor....

Nothing but respect for my supervisor. twitter.com/...
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Oct 24, 2017

Hoof-grinding is one of the main ways you bond with Eocene...

@osulop @TMobile Hoof-grinding is one of the main ways you bond with Eocene ungulates so I have a grind kit by the sofa, where we watch horse movies.
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Oct 24, 2017

That is extremely brilliant. “Compared to yesterday: Warmer...

@internetrebecca That is extremely brilliant. “Compared to yesterday: Warmer (a little) and wetter (a lot).”
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Oct 24, 2017

People often wonder how I, a prolific tweeter, came by an...

@TMobile People often wonder how I, a prolific tweeter, came by an eohippus. Lucinda was a gift from my time-traveling bride. Before one morning—
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Oct 24, 2017

Her fragile disposition makes me worry for her sanity. A...

@TMobile Her fragile disposition makes me worry for her sanity. A mad eohippus can kick open a trunk or eat subway tokens. I feed her hops and pray.
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Oct 24, 2017

Day 2. @TMobile has restored my service while they...

Day 2. @TMobile has restored my service while they investigate. My pleuritic eohippus Lucinda and I live in fear of yet more disruption.
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Oct 23, 2017

If I could draw I would totally do a little comic about a...

If I could draw I would totally do a little comic about a guy with a pet merychippus and their fights with customer service.
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Oct 23, 2017

I should clarify my Lucinda is not a true eohippus but...

I should clarify my Lucinda is not a true eohippus but rather a merychippus. She does however have pleurisy. en.wikipedia.org/...
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Oct 23, 2017

My eohippus Lucinda and I know that my @TMobile journey is...

My eohippus Lucinda and I know that my @TMobile journey is nothing compared to the true suffering in the world, we only seek to amuse you.
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Oct 23, 2017

These poor people Tom it's so not their fault that...

@tjl These poor people Tom it's so not their fault that everything is awful and predatory.
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Oct 23, 2017

Sigh. I'm hopeful customer service can help and that I...

@rebeccablood Sigh. I'm hopeful customer service can help and that I don't have to resort to any special privileges!
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Oct 23, 2017

Yeah but if I could get NYC to issue some kind of judgment...

@rebeccablood @TMobile Yeah but if I could get NYC to issue some kind of judgment then I could keep my credit from getting screwed up.
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Oct 23, 2017

God I hate that the only way to resolve issues with large...

God I hate that the only way to resolve issues with large companies is to be a relentlessly repetitive crabapple to call center folks.
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Oct 23, 2017

There are MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN THE CENTER working on this....

There are MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN THE CENTER working on this. “We'll stay on the phone until we fix this” didn't happen—I should get a call back.
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Oct 23, 2017

No I know, I mean why not! I know what I am and why people...

@Jahaza @TMobile No I know, I mean why not! I know what I am and why people enjoy my work, and “Paul's small-claims odyssey” is good content.
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Oct 23, 2017

I feel there's more than a thousand dollars of value in it...

@TMobile I feel there's more than a thousand dollars of value in it for me to give up and go to small claims and make ridiculous media about it.
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Oct 23, 2017

So @TMobile has promised for the third or fourth time to...

So @TMobile has promised for the third or fourth time to absolutely 100% fix this very serious upsetting problem. Should I:
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Oct 23, 2017

I'm on this LONG hold, it's so quiet and calm. They've...

@StarleeKine @TMobile I'm on this LONG hold, it's so quiet and calm. They've promised to fix it! No matter what it takes! But they've promised this before.
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Oct 23, 2017

I'm just hoping that by being completely exhausting but not...

@TMobile I'm just hoping that by being completely exhausting but not disrespectful I can break through to the world of refunds.
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Oct 23, 2017

“I've talked to Matthew! I've talked to Melissa! I've...

@TMobile “I've talked to Matthew! I've talked to Melissa! I've called over and over and over and over and over and over and over.”—Me, an adult son
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Oct 23, 2017

I'm trying to be cranky instead of mean to @Tmobile...

@TMobile I'm trying to be cranky instead of mean to @Tmobile customer support, it's not their fault that they work for a large criminal organization.
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Oct 23, 2017

I'm going to call @Tmobile now for maybe the 30th time and...

I'm going to call @Tmobile now for maybe the 30th time and enter their world of moist sewage and terrible lies.
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Oct 23, 2017

Day 2, @Tmobile still provides no service yet charges. My...

Day 2, @Tmobile still provides no service yet charges. My beloved pet eohippus Lucinda's pleurisy worsens but I cannot phone help. 1/39,494
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Oct 23, 2017

Thank you! I like smart younger people who think I know...

@JessieNYC Thank you! I like smart younger people who think I know things.
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Oct 23, 2017

I’m just about to give a talk about digital careers to a...

I’m just about to give a talk about digital careers to a large group of gen Z college students I can’t wait to tell them to avoid @tmobile.
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Oct 23, 2017

God this feels GOOD no wonder you all love to yell at...

@TMobile God this feels GOOD no wonder you all love to yell at brands like @tmobile that help themselves to your money and shut off your service.
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Oct 23, 2017

Although I also have 70,000 followers on Medium.

@TMobile Although I also have 70,000 followers on Medium.
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Oct 23, 2017

I joke but I know the deal. I’m probably going to end up...

I joke but I know the deal. I’m probably going to end up giving $1,000 to @TMobile to preserve my credit. They can do that. I can tweet.
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Oct 23, 2017

Why so willing to help now? It’s very perplexing. People...

Why so willing to help now? It’s very perplexing. People just jumping up to help. twitter.com/...
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Oct 23, 2017

One day I’ll have a working phone and I’ll call @tmobile to...

@TMobile One day I’ll have a working phone and I’ll call @tmobile to thank them for taking a grand off me. I would have just blown it on pants.
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Oct 23, 2017

Here are two beautiful bridges. Reminds me of the two...

Here are two beautiful bridges. Reminds me of the two @tmobile phones I’ve been paying for for two years despite only having one. twitter.com/...
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Oct 23, 2017

I should be clear I don’t expect you to care that @tmobile...

I should be clear I don’t expect you to care that @tmobile charged me for two phones for years. I just want to say @tmobile a lot on Twitter
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Oct 23, 2017

I actually have very sad family gossip about @Tmobile execs...

@TMobile I actually have very sad family gossip about @Tmobile execs now that I think about it.
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Oct 23, 2017

Sorry I am convinced it will just be more lies.

@TMobileHelp Sorry I am convinced it will just be more lies.
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Oct 23, 2017

But if you need me send an email! There are lots of nice...

@TMobile But if you need me send an email! There are lots of nice WiFi spots.
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Oct 23, 2017

Who knows how long this can go on. Two months of hot pink...

@TMobile Who knows how long this can go on. Two months of hot pink @Tmobile lies. America weeps. I’m going to buy a little notebook and an iPod Nano.
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Oct 23, 2017

I have no phone/data service (@TMobile has been charging me...

I have no phone/data service (@TMobile has been charging me for two phones for years, caught its own error, then shut off my service).
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Oct 22, 2017

Zoo owner here. Our chimp’s 43 years old and had uterine...

@PressSec Zoo owner here. Our chimp’s 43 years old and had uterine cataracts so I gave a palm reader $7,000 to pray a cure. Need money for tiger food.
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Oct 22, 2017

Would have been more impressive with $2.26 million.

@karenkho Would have been more impressive with $2.26 million.
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Oct 22, 2017

If people had doubled down on the semantic web we’d be here...

@mulegirl @jlax @hondanhon If people had doubled down on the semantic web we’d be here by now.
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Oct 22, 2017

I’m thinking more we can make the ultimate final menu. Or...

@hondanhon @jlax @mulegirl I’m thinking more we can make the ultimate final menu. Or even just look at how shishitos are getting pitched.
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Oct 22, 2017

Exactly and everything happens for the best.

@hondanhon @jlax @mulegirl Exactly and everything happens for the best.
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Oct 22, 2017

It should be possible to download and process 15 years of...

@hondanhon @jlax @mulegirl It should be possible to download and process 15 years of menus though because of this terrible antipattern.
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Oct 22, 2017

Oh okay my home Linux box is NVidia too so this is news I...

@sophaskins Oh okay my home Linux box is NVidia too so this is news I can use.
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Oct 22, 2017

Wait ex-presidents actually do live in your wallet was that...

@rustyk5 @harrisj Wait ex-presidents actually do live in your wallet was that autocorrect or a pun.
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Oct 22, 2017

It's fine, still early I haven't even had coffee yet.

@sophaskins It's fine, still early I haven't even had coffee yet.
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Oct 22, 2017

I was originally asking that ironically but then halfway...

@sophaskins I was originally asking that ironically but then halfway through I realized that I love xkill.
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Oct 22, 2017

Does xkill still work? I love the ability to just kill...

@sophaskins Does xkill still work? I love the ability to just kill windows.
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Oct 21, 2017

I'm here on Saturday night searching "oopsla 1988" for only...

I'm here on Saturday night searching "oopsla 1988" for only the dankest user interface memes.
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Oct 21, 2017

The Charles Foster Centipede.

The Charles Foster Centipede.
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Oct 20, 2017

Michael I feel that you and I need about twelve hours to...

@sippey Michael I feel that you and I need about twelve hours to discuss what's happening here.
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Oct 20, 2017

You know, there's ground, and then there's stone ground.

You know, there's ground, and then there's stone ground.
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Oct 20, 2017

That one's pretty good.

@joshu That one's pretty good.
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Oct 20, 2017

They also lack a sense of...purpose....

They also lack a sense of...purpose. twitter.com/...
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Oct 20, 2017

I'm working from home because both @maureenflaherty and I...

I'm working from home because both @maureenflaherty and I are worried there'll be a post-group-shot crash.
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Oct 20, 2017

She's suspicious cheerful this morning. I think it's the...

She's suspicious cheerful this morning. I think it's the adrenaline.
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Oct 20, 2017

Update: No fever this morning. She can go to picture day.

Update: No fever this morning. She can go to picture day.
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Oct 19, 2017

She went to bed wearing her picture clothes. I'm probably...

She went to bed wearing her picture clothes. I'm probably going to need to adopt a puppy before lunch if anybody has one.
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Oct 19, 2017

Sweet baby Jesus I hope so.

@mulegirl Sweet baby Jesus I hope so.
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Oct 19, 2017

My daughter has a fever, and tomorrow is picture day, and...

My daughter has a fever, and tomorrow is picture day, and my heart is starting to break.
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Oct 19, 2017

My new book came with a bookmark!!!...

My new book came with a bookmark!!! twitter.com/...
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Oct 19, 2017

Hibrow/lobrow by Levine about how rich people created fake...

@iano @goldman Hibrow/lobrow by Levine about how rich people created fake high culture in the 1800s
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Oct 19, 2017

There's a good essay to be written on the concept of civic...

@Greg_Lindsay There's a good essay to be written on the concept of civic humiliation!
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Oct 19, 2017

I was also reading and thinking things and learning to code...

@iano I was also reading and thinking things and learning to code and doing freelance work and maybe drinking way too much.
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Oct 19, 2017

Writing my website!

@iano Writing my website!
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Oct 19, 2017

Early web, you never knew what was real or not! The lame...

@iano Early web, you never knew what was real or not! The lame obsession with fact-checking everything wasn't extant.
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Oct 19, 2017

To save time! This method is faster and gives you full...

@kittenhotep To save time! This method is faster and gives you full access to the exterior surface of the garment.
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Oct 19, 2017

No shame in laundry showering!

@tenuous No shame in laundry showering!
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Oct 19, 2017

I wrote about this in 2002!! (I had a pseudonym on my own...

I wrote about this in 2002!! (I had a pseudonym on my own website to confuse people and cut down on SEO mishaps). twitter.com/...
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Oct 19, 2017

Folks. It's not complicated, you just hop into the shower...

Folks. It's not complicated, you just hop into the shower and then soap up the clothes, take them off, hang them, and keep showering.
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Oct 19, 2017

Also given that until I was 30 I often showered with...

Also given that until I was 30 I often showered with clothes on to cut down on laundry costs, it blows my mind that this is where I work.
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Oct 19, 2017

Just walked in to this kitchen setup at work, guess we're...

Just walked in to this kitchen setup at work, guess we're serving breakfast now. twitter.com/...
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Oct 19, 2017

Yes it's been incredibly positive, you can see the effect...

@dansaltzstein @VictoriaMia Yes it's been incredibly positive, you can see the effect on parents in the community.
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Oct 19, 2017

All of us awkwardly crammed in and angry, would be amazing.

@epc All of us awkwardly crammed in and angry, would be amazing.
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Oct 19, 2017

For $250 with photographer this seems totally sensible....

For $250 with photographer this seems totally sensible. twitter.com/...
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Oct 19, 2017

It's school picture days; you can see that what's fun...

It's school picture days; you can see that what's fun frivolities for one cohort is a considered expense for others and that's how it begins
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Oct 19, 2017

In a reasonable society children can learn responsibility...

In a reasonable society children can learn responsibility without there being any punitive debt.
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Oct 19, 2017

Libraries are also a safe calm healthy place where poor...

Libraries are also a safe calm healthy place where poor kids can be in NYC. Between this and free school lunch NYC is doing better. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 18, 2017

Battlestar Galactica was pretty cool except for when they...

Battlestar Galactica was pretty cool except for when they played pyramid.
➛
Oct 18, 2017

Containers at scale and how that changes overall platform...

@skamille Containers at scale and how that changes overall platform architecture and planning/caftans.
➛
Oct 18, 2017

This redesign is a brutal satire....

This redesign is a brutal satire. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 18, 2017

I hate passive-aggressive UX. When a computer sends me a...

I hate passive-aggressive UX. When a computer sends me a “gentle reminder” I want to give it a gentle poke in the eye.
➛
Oct 18, 2017

I forgot to tweet this @khoi project when it came out but...

I forgot to tweet this @khoi project when it came out but getbumpr.com lets you pick a mail client when you click mail links.
➛
Oct 18, 2017

Will there be a livestream available?

@essl Will there be a livestream available?
➛
Oct 18, 2017

Open sourceish nerd leaders: This is a good job with good...

Open sourceish nerd leaders: This is a good job with good people. @nedbat is 1000% legit and I bet he'd be a stellar employee. Apply! twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 18, 2017

wow that brings back memories of....writing perl for...

@sophaskins wow that brings back memories of....writing perl for genomics applications
➛
Oct 18, 2017

Precision Auto is such a great song....

Precision Auto is such a great song. open.spotify.com/...
➛
Oct 18, 2017

Also they look amazing.

Also they look amazing.
➛
Oct 18, 2017

“I administer 15 community college libraries. Do you know...

“I administer 15 community college libraries. Do you know how hard I worked to get here? Go back to DC and tell the President to fuck off.”
➛
Oct 18, 2017

I appreciate how Superchunk looks like they were just...

I appreciate how Superchunk looks like they were just rounded up by the Indie Rock Nick Fury for one last adventure. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 17, 2017

"Morty"

@iano "Morty"
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Your AmEx name is the last three things you ordered...

Your AmEx name is the last three things you ordered translated plus the last four digits of your social. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I can't. I have to finish the one for adults.

@JPaskin I can't. I have to finish the one for adults.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

You're a person who says cutting, hurtful things to...

@Double_Days You're a person who says cutting, hurtful things to strangers, and you're good at it!
➛
Oct 17, 2017

What I saw was that the more I believed in a thing the more...

@byronwoodfork What I saw was that the more I believed in a thing the more the constant repetition in my cohort made me cynical about said thing. SO TOXIC.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Oh god I'd never judge that, awk is so good.

@drldcsta Oh god I'd never judge that, awk is so good.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

No it's very therapeutic you just open the app and tap away.

@drldcsta No it's very therapeutic you just open the app and tap away.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Sorry, Perry, but you deliver high-quality content in just...

@perryhewitt Sorry, Perry, but you deliver high-quality content in just the right proportions.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Oh and “president” is a great word to block.

Oh and “president” is a great word to block.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Public notice: I'm a guilt-free unfollow. If I'm on my...

Public notice: I'm a guilt-free unfollow. If I'm on my bullshit and exhausting just unfollow, I won't care or be hurt even if we're friends.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I hope they offer scholarships to people who lack the means...

@jkottke I hope they offer scholarships to people who lack the means to attend.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I also mass-unfollowed anyone who didn't follow me which...

I also mass-unfollowed anyone who didn't follow me which was narcissistic but eliminates guilt-follows and those who scream unto the void.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Two weeks ago: I fucking can't take it in this hell any...

Two weeks ago: I fucking can't take it in this hell any more.
Today: What a hilarious, fun group of chums!
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I swear to God I muted the words “men” and “twitter” and...

I swear to God I muted the words “men” and “twitter” and the entire website has been about 500% more chill.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

First, as your former teacher, it's “your.” But...it's a...

@speckledwords First, as your former teacher, it's “your.” But...it's a mess right now, that's for sure.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Tickets are $10 so looks like Capitalism won.

Tickets are $10 so looks like Capitalism won.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Life has jagged edges Ben.

@bennyfactor Life has jagged edges Ben.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I do this a lot and they're so perplexed but I'm like YOU...

@amyhoy @PostlightStudio I do this a lot and they're so perplexed but I'm like YOU OFFERED TO HELP?
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Spoiler alert. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/92036955249...

Spoiler alert. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 17, 2017

It's VERY hammy. Burnham is so much fun to watch and when...

@rebeccablood @timbray It's VERY hammy. Burnham is so much fun to watch and when they let her act/overact her Vulcanness is cool. Lorca's good too.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I also just got a PR pitch and wrote back to ask for PR...

@PostlightStudio I also just got a PR pitch and wrote back to ask for PR firm recommendations.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Since we started @PostlightStudio I now get real estate...

Since we started @PostlightStudio I now get real estate pitches constantly and write back sometimes to ask if they can guarantee ghost-free.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

It's AMAZING right? What in God's name.

@Greg_Lindsay It's AMAZING right? What in God's name.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

The social, and probably real, cost of the punitive...

@tdierks The social, and probably real, cost of the punitive infrastructure far outweighs the cost of providing relatively few free meals.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I keep veering from HELL YES LET'S GO to ARE YOU KIDDING ME...

@rebeccablood @timbray I keep veering from HELL YES LET'S GO to ARE YOU KIDDING ME and I can't tell where it's going. It's interesting, though!
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I would read/write fan fiction about how drifters finally...

@goldman I would read/write fan fiction about how drifters finally broke free of their memetically-predetermined urge to make paperclips.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

This song always makes me think about the heroes of...

This song always makes me think about the heroes of Arcis-sur-Aube 6 open.spotify.com/...
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Here's the exact moment on our podcast where @jennschiffer...

Here's the exact moment on our podcast where @jennschiffer explains how Outback Steakhouse makes Bloomin' Onions. #t=30:22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://soundcloud.com/postlighttrackchanges/jenn-schiffer-relates-to#t=30:22
➛
Oct 17, 2017

oh i don't control that playlist. totally okay with it...

@jennschiffer oh i don't control that playlist. totally okay with it being on that playlist. i just never really thought it through.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

There's a book you might like, Highbrow/Lowbrow by Lawrence...

@cjd3vries @shaneferro There's a book you might like, Highbrow/Lowbrow by Lawrence Levine. Shows how rich folks “claimed” certain popular entertainments.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Thank you for bringing this travesty to my attention.

@jenniferrenu Thank you for bringing this travesty to my attention.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

This is real, you are right. It does feel a little like...

@shaneferro This is real, you are right. It does feel a little like civics is no longer a welcome subject left or right, Parks and Rec notwithstanding.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Maybe it's time for YOUR FREAKING EPIC GOVERNMENT...

Maybe it's time for YOUR FREAKING EPIC GOVERNMENT infographics
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I just got so sad reading that

@patbits I just got so sad reading that
➛
Oct 17, 2017

There seems to be a vast pool of civic awareness that's...

There seems to be a vast pool of civic awareness that's dried up. The media assumes it's there. But it maybe isn't.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I keep thinking about that Reddit dude who didn't know that...

I keep thinking about that Reddit dude who didn't know that public libraries loaned books without payment. Just didn't understand them.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Children cannot learn unless fed. We must not penalize...

Children cannot learn unless fed. We must not penalize children who lack funds to eat. Otherwise they will not learn to be good citizens.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

“Student lunch debt” is the most utterly fucked Dickensian...

“Student lunch debt” is the most utterly fucked Dickensian concept.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

(With good bike clothes it's the most joyous long ride...

@robynkanner (With good bike clothes it's the most joyous long ride season though.)
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Yes I hope you have good gloves?

@robynkanner Yes I hope you have good gloves?
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Welcome to layered knitwear season! It's the BEST!!!

@robynkanner Welcome to layered knitwear season! It's the BEST!!!
➛
Oct 17, 2017

I know I know needs more slashes.

@harrisj @kjhealy I know I know needs more slashes.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

By accusing continental philosophy of “towering” you reveal...

@kjhealy By accusing continental philosophy of “towering” you reveal a total misunderstanding of the entire project plus I bet you use Excel
➛
Oct 17, 2017

The word “towering” indicates a phallocentric association...

@kjhealy The word “towering” indicates a phallocentric association towards a patroarchial hegemonism that negates the true function of the academy.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Seven days until we get the answer.

@max_read Seven days until we get the answer.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

that's an excellent one

@buttershug that's an excellent one
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Like...we used Google Analytics. There was a period when...

@TheMFingChisa Like...we used Google Analytics. There was a period when Harper's was on the Ftrain server but...?
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Wait...I actually don't remember that at all.

@TheMFingChisa Wait...I actually don't remember that at all.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Yes and I have no idea what is going on.

@kneath @kellan Yes and I have no idea what is going on.
➛
Oct 17, 2017

Put everything in Dropbox. https://twitter.com/onlyinbos/sta...

Put everything in Dropbox. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 16, 2017

Anonymous poll: As parents, we're most likely to fight—

Anonymous poll: As parents, we're most likely to fight—
➛
Oct 16, 2017

I just ordered a copy of this book. I will never post pages...

@studiesincrap I just ordered a copy of this book. I will never post pages but I need it.
➛
Oct 16, 2017

I am mixed on this show but the way it messes with...

@timbray I am mixed on this show but the way it messes with continuity like that is pretty great. We could be headed for tragedy!
➛
Oct 16, 2017

Happy 4 the tardigrade.

Happy 4 the tardigrade.
➛
Oct 16, 2017

The sense of total potential diaster keeps me alive though.

@brianvan The sense of total potential diaster keeps me alive though.
➛
Oct 16, 2017

Erased that one my god

@bennyfactor Erased that one my god
➛
Oct 16, 2017

He is relentless and global. But emphatically not!

@irvingreid @timbray He is relentless and global. But emphatically not!
➛
Oct 16, 2017

The key to making good predictions is identifying the...

The key to making good predictions is identifying the things that never change.
➛
Oct 16, 2017

It never occurred to me that there could be an entire album

@joshuatopolsky It never occurred to me that there could be an entire album
➛
Oct 16, 2017

that's very sweet dear but it took like two years after...

@maureenflaherty that's very sweet dear but it took like two years after that for us to get it together
➛
Oct 16, 2017

I mean the singularity should've gotten here by now.

@craigmod I mean the singularity should've gotten here by now.
➛
Oct 16, 2017

We were such children then.

@craigmod We were such children then.
➛
Oct 16, 2017

You're both such good friends and I'm lucky.

@jessamyn @anildash You're both such good friends and I'm lucky.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Let's do these next 20 years in style, Dean.

@textism Let's do these next 20 years in style, Dean.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Fully expect to end my career in a short sleeve shirt...

@rustyk5 Fully expect to end my career in a short sleeve shirt debugging Java or COBOL for a bank.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

I know and THANK GOD. The disruptors have created an...

@rustyk5 I know and THANK GOD. The disruptors have created an incredibly thorny shitshow problem that will take decade$$$ to untangle.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

It could, but they're so unfuckingbelievably bad at...

@rustyk5 It could, but they're so unfuckingbelievably bad at creating value for anyone else that it probably won't work.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

I'm less scared than I used to be because the tech is just...

@rustyk5 I'm less scared than I used to be because the tech is just everywhere in every industry. So even if the hot core implodes there'll be work.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Social will basically need to mint its own currency or...

@rustyk5 Social will basically need to mint its own currency or it'll implode.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Thank you! It's good to have these obsessions.

@anildash Thank you! It's good to have these obsessions.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

My website is in the coveted 18–35 age bracket....

My website is in the coveted 18–35 age bracket. ftrain.com/...
➛
Oct 15, 2017

wow trinidad is open source

@seldo wow trinidad is open source
➛
Oct 15, 2017

i didn't know about this one, this one is cute too

@songadaymann i didn't know about this one, this one is cute too
➛
Oct 15, 2017

“Butterfly” by Crazy Town starts playing....

“Butterfly” by Crazy Town starts playing. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 15, 2017

it's how games should be! sometimes you just want to poke...

@v21 it's how games should be! sometimes you just want to poke around.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

also unusedClips=100000000000000;

@post_prufrock also unusedClips=100000000000000;
➛
Oct 15, 2017

i mean go into console and type yomi=1000000000000 that...

@post_prufrock i mean go into console and type yomi=1000000000000 that often opens things up
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Nerds: Paperclip game has straightford no-deps JavaScript...

Nerds: Paperclip game has straightford no-deps JavaScript that's fun to read and makes it really simple to cheat. funds=1000000000;
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Or doing some nice fall programming.

@tjl Or doing some nice fall programming.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Something in the Carhartt line is fine....

@tjl Something in the Carhartt line is fine. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 15, 2017

I can tell you from long experience that if you wear a...

@tjl I can tell you from long experience that if you wear a sweater over a jumpsuit everyone just assumes your shirt and pants match.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Maybe three ear wiggles.

Maybe three ear wiggles.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Good animated GIF from the Pickle Day website. 6 tail wags,...

Good animated GIF from the Pickle Day website. 6 tail wags, 6 forepaw wiggles, 2 ear wiggles. It's pickle day! pickleday.nyc twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 15, 2017

New York hasn't been the same since they moved the Liberty...

@theodoreross @mimbale New York hasn't been the same since they moved the Liberty Bell.
➛
Oct 15, 2017

I regret to inform you that 2017 has done it again....

@lindsayism I regret to inform you that 2017 has done it again. wmagazine.com/...
➛
Oct 15, 2017

Happy birthday!

@sanarao Happy birthday!
➛
Oct 14, 2017

Again and again I partially agree but emphasize that they...

@tomcoates Again and again I partially agree but emphasize that they also don't trust their people or want to promote them.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

Same kid said his uncle played Pennywise the clown.

Same kid said his uncle played Pennywise the clown.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

And when a kid asked him for Skittles the kid said, if you...

And when a kid asked him for Skittles the kid said, if you want Skittles buy them at the store.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

A kid at this playground in South BK just told another kid,...

A kid at this playground in South BK just told another kid, “I'm a multimillionaire and my dad owns Skittles.”
➛
Oct 14, 2017

We have the Marine Park nature center almost to ourselves....

We have the Marine Park nature center almost to ourselves. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 14, 2017

this is cool

@cblgh this is cool
➛
Oct 14, 2017

And then I keep getting press release.

@tomcoates And then I keep getting press release.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

And I lose interest because I want to share with readers...

@tomcoates And I lose interest because I want to share with readers how things are built.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

And if I ask to talk to the people who built it they say no...

@tomcoates And if I ask to talk to the people who built it they say no we can't go in that direction.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

And what I get back is "can you write about our new app...

@tomcoates And what I get back is "can you write about our new app feature that lets you bark like a dog."
➛
Oct 14, 2017

No one ever trusts the press or should. Anyway I've tried a...

@tomcoates No one ever trusts the press or should. Anyway I've tried a few times to write positive stories abt how engineers work and been shut out.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

Good PR should coach them and be in the room during...

@tomcoates Good PR should coach them and be in the room during interviews?
➛
Oct 14, 2017

I have no doubt some shitty hack did exactly that? That's...

@tomcoates I have no doubt some shitty hack did exactly that? That's one way it operates. Good PR can filter that out but leave room for broad features
➛
Oct 14, 2017

It's all just capitalism until tech people start to lecture...

@tomcoates It's all just capitalism until tech people start to lecture folks on how tech journalism should be and then it's 🤔🤔🤔🤔.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

Nah, most journalists are just hacks trying to get someone...

@tomcoates Nah, most journalists are just hacks trying to get someone to say anything. SV in general wants transcription, not reporting.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

Their job is to protect the brand and the marketing...

@tomcoates Their job is to protect the brand and the marketing narrative. They miss great coverage and recruiting opportunities because of fear.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

Sure. But if a journalist wants to write sincerely about...

@tomcoates Sure. But if a journalist wants to write sincerely about the ethics and process of making real things there's usually just no way in.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

I forgot about the face she makes it's so good

@sophaskins I forgot about the face she makes it's so good
➛
Oct 14, 2017

This is true. It's a disaster to report out a new product...

This is true. It's a disaster to report out a new product or approach. Not one big tech co trusts their own engineers/ux/product folks. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 14, 2017

Probably best you locked your account.

@rustyk5 Probably best you locked your account.
➛
Oct 14, 2017

John Waters Sleepaway Camp https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/1...

John Waters Sleepaway Camp nytimes.com/...
➛
Oct 12, 2017

Matthew if "bad tweets" were a reason to avoid following...

@matthewfamularo @PostlightStudio Matthew if "bad tweets" were a reason to avoid following someone twitter wouldn't last an hour.
➛
Oct 12, 2017

This level of everyday beauty can be yours if you come work...

This level of everyday beauty can be yours if you come work at @PostlightStudio. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 12, 2017

A lot of people recommend the auth app inside one password...

@patbits A lot of people recommend the auth app inside one password for that reason.
➛
Oct 12, 2017

I have some hard questions. https://twitter.com/bafeldman/st...

I have some hard questions. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 11, 2017

I want so badly to believe something good is happening in...

I want so badly to believe something good is happening in this video but I have believed too willingly in the past. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 11, 2017

This theory seems utterly plausible!

@tomcoates This theory seems utterly plausible!
➛
Oct 11, 2017

Wow spare rib tips [looks me up and down] interesting...

Wow spare rib tips [looks me up and down] interesting choice.
➛
Oct 11, 2017

The worst would be the Seamless orders.

The worst would be the Seamless orders.
➛
Oct 11, 2017

Just in case my email is ever hacked, I would like to...

Just in case my email is ever hacked, I would like to publicly state that I am a total piece of shit.
➛
Oct 11, 2017

> Hi, would you like to talk at a conference in the...

> Hi, would you like to talk at a conference in the middle of 2018?

Sure!

> Terrific!

[Five minutes pass.]

> Can we see your slides?
➛
Oct 11, 2017

Rusty this is viral marketing.

@rustyk5 Rusty this is viral marketing.
➛
Oct 11, 2017

Yeah it's a cognitive bomb in our cohort. It ends, though!

@goldman Yeah it's a cognitive bomb in our cohort. It ends, though!
➛
Oct 11, 2017

Porgs are silly new animals in Star Wars.

@wford41 Porgs are silly new animals in Star Wars.
➛
Oct 11, 2017

Yes exactly

@mwiik Yes exactly
➛
Oct 11, 2017

No no there's a paperclip game.

@mwiik No no there's a paperclip game.
➛
Oct 11, 2017

Everywhere I look I think, that would make some good...

Everywhere I look I think, that would make some good paperclips.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

I didn't get into it like I did the paperclip game.

@abackstrom I didn't get into it like I did the paperclip game.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

Here's a utility that automates clicking the mouse on your...

Here's a utility that automates clicking the mouse on your Mac, I can't think of any reason anyone would need it. murgaa.com
➛
Oct 10, 2017

They find reasons to get up (hungry, itchy vagina, sore...

@JPaskin @alanmclean @maureenflaherty They find reasons to get up (hungry, itchy vagina, sore toe, thirsty, need stuffed animal) and we say PUT ON OINTMENT AND GET IN BED.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

This book is about horses who use git....

This book is about horses who use git. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 10, 2017

Also it's cool to be a virgin it's a meaningless category...

Also it's cool to be a virgin it's a meaningless category relax.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

Here is the collection https://archive.org/details/last20

Here is the collection archive.org/...
➛
Oct 10, 2017

No but seriously folks a lot of books were just added to...

No but seriously folks a lot of books were just added to archive.org under an interpretation of copyright law.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

oh nothin just dev rel things

oh nothin just dev rel things
➛
Oct 10, 2017

This explains why the movie takes so long to run.

@mquirion @thomasfuchs This explains why the movie takes so long to run.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

Yeah I am pro porg in my space fun.

@bookoisseur Yeah I am pro porg in my space fun.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

You're a bunch of sour Sallies.

You're a bunch of sour Sallies.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

POLL: Today

POLL: Today
➛
Oct 10, 2017

Did you see the web clicker game where you are an AI trying...

@bn2b Did you see the web clicker game where you are an AI trying to create the maximum number of paperclips?
➛
Oct 10, 2017

Ohhhhhh so when you subdue humanity you are just getting...

@rustyk5 @tinysubversions @flantz Ohhhhhh so when you subdue humanity you are just getting started.
➛
Oct 10, 2017

I was so sad when it was over.

@rustyk5 I was so sad when it was over.
➛
Oct 9, 2017

No alas. It just looked like my shirt and pants were...

@harper No alas. It just looked like my shirt and pants were perfectly matched.
➛
Oct 9, 2017

Also I wore work coveralls with a vest and tie a lot.

@harper Also I wore work coveralls with a vest and tie a lot.
➛
Oct 9, 2017

In college a lot

@harper In college a lot
➛
Oct 9, 2017

I know it's a cliché by now but I am incredibly excited for...

I know it's a cliché by now but I am incredibly excited for summer.
➛
Oct 9, 2017

> Full autonomy attained in 2 hours 9 minutes 22 seconds

> Full autonomy attained in 2 hours 9 minutes 22 seconds
➛
Oct 9, 2017

I haven't seen Blade Runner 2049 yet but is everything...

I haven't seen Blade Runner 2049 yet but is everything still JavaScript?
➛
Oct 9, 2017

I'm sure I've offended good people here and I'm sorry. I'm...

I'm sure I've offended good people here and I'm sorry. I'm just learning and when you first learn kubernetes it sure looks like a cluster.
➛
Oct 9, 2017

It's pretty simple to get started you just declare your...

It's pretty simple to get started you just declare your glusterfs in yaml and set your downwardAPI, then you check out your cluster's zones.
➛
Oct 9, 2017

I'm learning about kubernetes and the way it works is you...

I'm learning about kubernetes and the way it works is you have a Pod that controls an AbstractBeanFactory that declares your hypervisor.
➛
Oct 9, 2017

https://medium.com/@mariabustillos/blade-runner-2049-is-reve...

@HalimahMarcus @jrobertlennon @mariabustillos/blade-runner-2049-is-revealed-through-the-novel-pale-fire-dd9f04768439" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://medium.com/@mariabustillos/blade-runner-2049-is-revealed-through-the-novel-pale-fire-dd9f04768439
➛
Oct 9, 2017

I always like reading Jack's code which always looks so...

I always like reading Jack's code which always looks so simple, like code in a textbook. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 9, 2017

I'll be at another meeting downtown and no one factored in...

@oferhalevi @mwichary I'll be at another meeting downtown and no one factored in transit time.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I think it's one of those things where it's going to hurt a...

@snowstorms I think it's one of those things where it's going to hurt a ton to take it away and all anyone looks at are the bottom buttons anyway.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

It doesn't look unavailable to me more "neutral" maybe...

@FisherStudio @insequential @ddt It doesn't look unavailable to me more "neutral" maybe since there aren't any "grayed out" options elsewhere?
➛
Oct 8, 2017

No idea! Curious to know.

@510home No idea! Curious to know.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

It's just 100% likely you don't need that in your inbox...

@michelet It's just 100% likely you don't need that in your inbox after acting on it. Which is an interesting pattern!
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I would also switch the underlying RSVP button to an active...

@mwichary I would also switch the underlying RSVP button to an active state when in the modal but that's me.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

No because my inbox is filled with SECRETS.

@mwichary No because my inbox is filled with SECRETS.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I appreciate the simplicity of having a widget that is...

@ddt I appreciate the simplicity of having a widget that is always exactly the same. But yep it wants me to accept a default based on hidden info
➛
Oct 8, 2017

But overall I think Microsoft has gotten very good at this...

But overall I think Microsoft has gotten very good at this part of software and is more and more the Ikea to Apple's West Elm.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I do believe modals should inherit context since they...

I do believe modals should inherit context since they obscure the background. In this case, the organizer's name/email should be displayed.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

It's just very well executed and cuts a user workflow down...

It's just very well executed and cuts a user workflow down to the absolute minimum. I really admire the product focus that made this happen.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Microsoft Outlook for iOS added this RSVP widget that pops...

Microsoft Outlook for iOS added this RSVP widget that pops up above emails in Inbox view and archives them when done. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I didn't make it, I got to 4PM and turned into a crabby...

@delohaas I didn't make it, I got to 4PM and turned into a crabby garbage person who didn't want to hear it.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Then "The C Programming Language," etc. etc.

@g_macrae Then "The C Programming Language," etc. etc.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I've never read GO TO but apparently it's good. The sort of...

@g_macrae I've never read GO TO but apparently it's good. The sort of standard big in-depth overview is via HOPL. research.ihost.com/...
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I'm sorry it's been a long weekend.

@losowsky @karenkho I'm sorry it's been a long weekend.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

If you liked it then you shoulda ediring on it.

@losowsky @karenkho If you liked it then you shoulda ediring on it.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

They're playing a dance game for XBox at the neighbors god...

They're playing a dance game for XBox at the neighbors god bless our building.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Oh I haven't seen this in YEARS it's even more ridiculous...

@mulegirl Oh I haven't seen this in YEARS it's even more ridiculous than I remember.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Just do crafts or whatever while I'm on my phone okay

Just do crafts or whatever while I'm on my phone okay
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Ugh maybe I'll raid their liquor cabinet. These people are...

Ugh maybe I'll raid their liquor cabinet. These people are so lame theres no schnapps. God the little boy should SHUT UP. Also this couch.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

The point in the weekend when you transform from a loving...

The point in the weekend when you transform from a loving parent into a surly teen babysitter.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

I love that you wanted this and they went Sure! And it...

@kottke I love that you wanted this and they went Sure! And it worked out great. So good!
➛
Oct 8, 2017

It's apparently really bad at riding academies. Little...

@tressiemcphd It's apparently really bad at riding academies. Little girls, long hair, helmets, and denial.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

see that's the exact kind of content that makes me so happy...

@livlab see that's the exact kind of content that makes me so happy to be here with my friends
➛
Oct 8, 2017

It's just fun facts and pictures and deep thoughts from all...

It's just fun facts and pictures and deep thoughts from all kinds of interesting people none of whom are insufferable.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Twitter has been really fun for me since I applied a simple...

Twitter has been really fun for me since I applied a simple trick: I made a list of everything I believe in, then muted those words.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

thank you for quenching this dad's T H I R S T

@Choire thank you for quenching this dad's T H I R S T
➛
Oct 8, 2017

They see it as the dominant life form.

@DMStevens They see it as the dominant life form.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

My pet theory

My pet theory
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Dan you just wrote a fantasia about Dropbox

@hondanhon Dan you just wrote a fantasia about Dropbox
➛
Oct 8, 2017

“Is it okay if we delete universe 83948383? I want to...

“Is it okay if we delete universe 83948383? I want to torrent some other universes.”

“no! Stop! That's the one with cats!”
➛
Oct 8, 2017

They use Macs.

They use Macs.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

My pet theory is that the entities that run this simulation...

My pet theory is that the entities that run this simulation think cats are hilarious. That's why they haven't dragged our galaxy into trash.
➛
Oct 8, 2017

Life's pointlessness and “hope” being a lie used to...

Life's pointlessness and “hope” being a lie used to maintain status quo is nbd because there's still a universe and no one knows why.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

I'm pretty sure she hit the keys each time.

@bookoisseur I'm pretty sure she hit the keys each time.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

It's inevitable. I'll be so sad to see the magic fade.

@cydharrell It's inevitable. I'll be so sad to see the magic fade.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

Let this sink in: She doesn't know how to cut and paste.

Let this sink in: She doesn't know how to cut and paste.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

My daughter, unsolicited. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/...

My daughter, unsolicited. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 7, 2017

I'm teaching the kids to text and it's not very different...

I'm teaching the kids to text and it's not very different from most of my online conversations. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 7, 2017

Twitter could fix everything if it just offered an...

Twitter could fix everything if it just offered an affordable health care plan.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

there's always straddle generation i hate the idea of...

@amyhoy @lia there's always straddle generation

i hate the idea of generations
➛
Oct 7, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/916802992904515584/photo/1

twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 7, 2017

For my midlife crisis I had a few drinks and ordered about...

For my midlife crisis I had a few drinks and ordered about 20 Facts on File reference books off the Internet.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

I took them to the aquarium while she slept though it's a...

I took them to the aquarium while she slept though it's a process.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

I'm tweeting all this listening to the Lemonheads as my...

I'm tweeting all this listening to the Lemonheads as my wife makes dinner for the kids.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

I'm the wrong person to write it though.

I'm the wrong person to write it though.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

In my head this thing immediately became fully real: It's...

In my head this thing immediately became fully real: It's black on red paper, hand drawn, about six pages, the headline is just FUCK MEN.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

If someone made a zine called Midlife Crisis I'd subscribe.

If someone made a zine called Midlife Crisis I'd subscribe.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

http://Oprah.com comes for us all.

@lia oprah.com comes for us all.
➛
Oct 7, 2017

Happy Saturday everybody!

Happy Saturday everybody!
➛
Oct 7, 2017

The ladies of Gen X: Underemployed, married to shitheads,...

The ladies of Gen X: Underemployed, married to shitheads, sneaking smokes, cheating, and facing perimenopause. #ixzz4upmXfjsY" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.oprah.com/sp/new-midlife-crisis.html#ixzz4upmXfjsY
➛
Oct 7, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/916756124354973696/video/1

twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 7, 2017

Starbucks would spell your name wrong on the package though.

@lindsayism Starbucks would spell your name wrong on the package though.
➛
Oct 6, 2017

this dog is actually not musical...

this dog is actually not musical twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 6, 2017

They don't like to look in the New Yorker mirror and see...

@JPaskin They don't like to look in the New Yorker mirror and see that looking back.
➛
Oct 6, 2017

Oh stop crying you big bunch of distressed babies....

Oh stop crying you big bunch of distressed babies. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 6, 2017

I've worked with a lot of really good software developers...

I've worked with a lot of really good software developers who weren't Nazis.
➛
Oct 6, 2017

This is the global diplomacy equivalent of a “shreds”...

This is the global diplomacy equivalent of a “shreds” guitar video. youtube.com/...
➛
Oct 6, 2017

You're not supposed to bring hot beverages

@fascinated @anildash You're not supposed to bring hot beverages
➛
Oct 6, 2017

We did it as a company outing with the hit man's bodyguard...

@fascinated We did it as a company outing with the hit man's bodyguard and it was ridiculous
➛
Oct 6, 2017

Did you see BLADE RUNNER in 4DX holy shit.

@fascinated Did you see BLADE RUNNER in 4DX holy shit.
➛
Oct 5, 2017

I cannot

I cannot
➛
Oct 5, 2017

And in the end it...actually...was...about...ethics in...

And in the end it...actually...was...about...ethics in journalism. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 5, 2017

Man some people sure were on the wrong side of the first...

Man some people sure were on the wrong side of the first draft of history.
➛
Oct 5, 2017

Journalists rn https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/91612561822...

Journalists rn twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 5, 2017

They're all in the administration now.

@davidhsiegel They're all in the administration now.
➛
Oct 5, 2017

9/20/2014 smh https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/513316607247...

9/20/2014 smh twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 5, 2017

That's what I like to see. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status...

That's what I like to see. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 5, 2017

the bittersweet taste of hot grits...

the bittersweet taste of hot grits @cmdrtaco/a-pre-history-of-slashdot-6403341dabae" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://medium.com/@cmdrtaco/a-pre-history-of-slashdot-6403341dabae
➛
Oct 5, 2017

Sending a USB key and a metal file in a folder of...

@jlax @NYMag @jpressler Sending a USB key and a metal file in a folder of Pentatonix sheet music.
➛
Oct 5, 2017

this is strong because the tastelessness actually takes...

@jackrusher this is strong because the tastelessness actually takes work to figure out
➛
Oct 5, 2017

The title could have been “Don't sleep on this”...

The title could have been “Don't sleep on this” recode.net/...
➛
Oct 5, 2017

Guess I just blew my chance of writing for the Atlantic.

Guess I just blew my chance of writing for the Atlantic.
➛
Oct 5, 2017

Alexander my avatar is an Amiga floppy.

@fish2000 Alexander my avatar is an Amiga floppy.
➛
Oct 5, 2017

I was in the hospital with my newborn twins, and I could...

I was in the hospital with my newborn twins, and I could feel his spirit enter them when they started to cry and shit all over everything. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 5, 2017

Thank you for your dream service.

@lindsayism Thank you for your dream service.
➛
Oct 5, 2017

Wheeee On Interviewing and Being Interviewed - The New...

Wheeee On Interviewing and Being Interviewed - The New School events.newschool.edu/...
➛
Oct 4, 2017

That'll be totally fine esp if you set it up the first time...

@tressiemcphd That'll be totally fine esp if you set it up the first time and write down all their passwords for email etc.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

100% within an hour

@JPaskin 100% within an hour
➛
Oct 4, 2017

Like it's a lot for a Chromebook that you use for Gmail but...

@JPaskin Like it's a lot for a Chromebook that you use for Gmail but not one that you use to program with.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

Nah it's got good fancy stuff.

@JPaskin Nah it's got good fancy stuff.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

Ahhhh that makes sense I have a nerd dad who likes to...

@abwarren26 @tressiemcphd Ahhhh that makes sense I have a nerd dad who likes to tinker.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

The price diff is because the Chromebook puts everything...

@tressiemcphd The price diff is because the Chromebook puts everything online so you have smaller disk etc.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

If they need Word or love to play some game go with an...

@tressiemcphd If they need Word or love to play some game go with an Asus, Lenovo, etc. Windows 10. $600 worth of computer should be plenty.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

If they can/will use Google Docs and have good Internet get...

@tressiemcphd If they can/will use Google Docs and have good Internet get an Asus Chromebook Flip (turns into a tablet, $250). What public schools use.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

Oh I TRULY wanted to be there. But Mo is sick and my kids...

@michelet Oh I TRULY wanted to be there. But Mo is sick and my kids had other plans.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

“The key,“ said Saru seductively to Captain Lorca, “is to...

“The key,“ said Saru seductively to Captain Lorca, “is to let the sugar caramelize just a...tiny...bit...more.”

I'm writing flan fiction.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

I'm writing fan fiction about the doomed love between the...

I'm writing fan fiction about the doomed love between the AIs aboard the USS Glenn and the USS Discovery. Because I ship ships.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

http://thehill.com/policy/technology/353887-reddit-hires-fir...

thehill.com/...
➛
Oct 4, 2017

pbs what are you trying to do to me...

pbs what are you trying to do to me twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 4, 2017

I can't live in this world of normal, well-intentioned...

@mariyastrauss I can't live in this world of normal, well-intentioned people who like great music and good times.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

Twitter is the exact opposite of listening to Full Moon...

Twitter is the exact opposite of listening to Full Moon Fever while driving to Dairy Queen in a crappy Subaru after a night game.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

I keep listening to Tom Petty and thinking that life is...

I keep listening to Tom Petty and thinking that life is bittersweet but beautiful, and all the roads are open. It's throwing me off my game.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

it's so good. all corporate memberships so no one goes.

@heatheremerrick it's so good. all corporate memberships so no one goes.
➛
Oct 4, 2017

i found a relatively cheap empty gym near work where no one...

i found a relatively cheap empty gym near work where no one makes eye contact
➛
Oct 4, 2017

It's an actual interview on interviews....

It's an actual interview on interviews. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 4, 2017

*brand manager* my brands

*brand manager* my brands
➛
Oct 3, 2017

we've got a long road but ... that'd be great!

@dphiffer we've got a long road but ... that'd be great!
➛
Oct 3, 2017

If you're six you really want to (Minecraft).

@dphiffer If you're six you really want to (Minecraft).
➛
Oct 3, 2017

Or, you know, whatever Bret is doing.

@dphiffer Or, you know, whatever Bret is doing.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

The OS of the future is a single chat window with stickers...

@dphiffer The OS of the future is a single chat window with stickers instead of icons.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

They're over the moon. They'd prefer iPads but they're...

@dphiffer They're over the moon. They'd prefer iPads but they're learning. Lots of YouTube for Kids. They like google chat a ton, esp. stickers.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

No, it ended up being kind of expensive and complex all in...

@dphiffer No, it ended up being kind of expensive and complex all in and was more about me than them. Chromebooks that flip to tablets.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

I'd settle for first party.

@kerns I'd settle for first party.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

I've been teaching six year olds to use computers and let...

I've been teaching six year olds to use computers and let me tell you, no one in the tech industry should be going home early.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

I hate when I look at a website and my brain starts playing...

I hate when I look at a website and my brain starts playing startup ukelele music.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

It was good!

@holden It was good!
➛
Oct 3, 2017

We didn't even know at the time but it was just solid about...

@bn2b We didn't even know at the time but it was just solid about parsing all the shit and basically working all the time.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

The cloud is great for users because it's cheap as hell,...

The cloud is great for users because it's cheap as hell, but god it sucks for usability. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 3, 2017

Then again the largest company in the world can't make...

Then again the largest company in the world can't make desktop search usable. Google Desktop Search was good, though, RIP.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

I just want to search through a folder and have files I...

I just want to search through a folder and have files I actually personally created in this life show up.
➛
Oct 3, 2017

Dropbox has deemphasized the thing it does beautifully to...

Dropbox has deemphasized the thing it does beautifully to emphasize the things everyone does poorly. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 3, 2017

That is objectively a lot of views....

That is objectively a lot of views. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 3, 2017

we’re the best, thank you

@gob @richziade we’re the best, thank you
➛
Oct 3, 2017

Our friend @gob is working hard to build a digital-first...

Our friend @gob is working hard to build a digital-first Obama Foundation. Here're the details, in podcast form: trackchanges.postlight.com/...
➛
Oct 2, 2017

Well, that's Monday.

Well, that's Monday.
➛
Oct 2, 2017

Always delete!

@tedleo Always delete!
➛
Oct 2, 2017

Oh yeah I've seen this before, this is from when houses had...

@joeyalison Oh yeah I've seen this before, this is from when houses had murder ponds.
➛
Oct 2, 2017

they just snuck "brands" in there like we wouldn't notice

@sanarao they just snuck "brands" in there like we wouldn't notice
➛
Oct 2, 2017

What the hell am I going to add to this mix tape now?

What the hell am I going to add to this mix tape now?
➛
Oct 2, 2017

No one would run their stupid mouth on this sad day but...

@BradyDale @max_read No one would run their stupid mouth on this sad day but there is a strong anti-Wilbury contingent in the world of people with bad opinions.
➛
Oct 2, 2017

I'm a Wilbury apologist too and I agree. RIP Tom.

@max_read I'm a Wilbury apologist too and I agree. RIP Tom.
➛
Oct 2, 2017

It was three years ago and I apologize for nothing.

@sanarao It was three years ago and I apologize for nothing.
➛
Oct 2, 2017

I'm doing something weird Thursday evening: I'm on a panel!...

I'm doing something weird Thursday evening: I'm on a panel! Talking about interviewing people. events.newschool.edu/...
➛
Oct 2, 2017

Tugs are the best.

@tolar Tugs are the best.
➛
Oct 2, 2017

Looked up from my infinite horrors device to see a tugboat...

Looked up from my infinite horrors device to see a tugboat pushing a big barge under the Brooklyn Bridge. twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 1, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/914661623071166464/video/1

twitter.com/...
➛
Oct 1, 2017

No it's fair, literally all of this is very exhausting. I...

@rebeccablood @anildash @mathowie No it's fair, literally all of this is very exhausting. I think seeing utopia smashed into pieces by brutes is psychically really damaging.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Meaning that the sheep all died of a disease so you had to...

@rebeccablood @anildash @mathowie Meaning that the sheep all died of a disease so you had to get work in the button factory?
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Yes I remember this. I mean she was right about this, too.

@rebeccablood @mathowie Yes I remember this. I mean she was right about this, too.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Right but that's different from fixing the Tweets.

@rebeccablood @mathowie Right but that's different from fixing the Tweets.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

I believe that she said publicly that she felt her...

@rebeccablood @mathowie I believe that she said publicly that she felt her attacker's imprisonment for vague “hacking” was unjust.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

I mean I love this thing and no one is mean to me here in...

I mean I love this thing and no one is mean to me here in any way that matters and I still think about quitting every single day.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Look, everyone is coming for Twitter right now, but...

Look, everyone is coming for Twitter right now, but remember, its problems are very bad and the way it communicates is terrible.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Never followed up but I assume it saw the value of...

@goldman @iano Never followed up but I assume it saw the value of eliminating animal protein from its diet.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Fun fact once at my college someone went vegan and started...

@goldman @iano Fun fact once at my college someone went vegan and started to feed their roommate's Venus flytrap hummus.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

"They took the ride." Is a sterling kicker tho.

@gretared @tcarmody "They took the ride." Is a sterling kicker tho.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Next year. They'll be seven.

@mathbabedotorg Next year. They'll be seven.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Wait are you up at Ft. Tryon? I nearly went but little...

@mathbabedotorg Wait are you up at Ft. Tryon? I nearly went but little twins on the train would be too much to get home.
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Is Health Care a Right? | The New Yorker...

Is Health Care a Right? | The New Yorker newyorker.com/...
➛
Oct 1, 2017

Welcome to a world of 280 characters....

Welcome to a world of 280 characters. twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 30, 2017

The water part is always broken which helps keep me humble.

@tressiemcphd The water part is always broken which helps keep me humble.
➛
Sep 30, 2017

Ice dispenser built into the freezer door.

@tressiemcphd Ice dispenser built into the freezer door.
➛
Sep 30, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/914315249230209024/photo/1

twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 30, 2017

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/914315066094342145/photo/1

twitter.com/...
➛
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