October 2017 BY Paul Ford 2017 572 Sections (By graphic I mean violent obvs.) ftrain2000 I think but I was never much on AIM Day 2. @TMobile has restored my service while they... My daughter has a fever, and tomorrow is picture day, and... Just walked in to this kitchen setup at work, guess we're... I forgot to tweet this @khoi project when it came out but... Also they look amazing. wait I did? Porgs are silly new animals in Star Wars. I'm writing fan fiction about the doomed love between the... pbs what are you trying to do to me... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/914661623071166464/video/1 There seems to be a vast pool of civic awareness that's... Let this sink in: She doesn't know how to cut and paste. Twitter is the exact opposite of listening to Full Moon... This is a really good primer, thanks for writing it. Here, this is me. https://youtu.be/te7bbWBXusk After local news fully dies and no one is checking it will... I’d like the champagne though. Eventually on the Internet every joke is analyzed as if it... Yep! That's exactly the good stuff. Children cannot learn unless fed. We must not penalize... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/919767379428757504/photo/1 it's how games should be! sometimes you just want to poke... It's all just capitalism until tech people start to lecture... Will check it out! A lot of people recommend the auth app inside one password... was this like, an unbelievable amount of work? Ugh maybe I'll raid their liquor cabinet. These people are... My pet theory I'm pretty sure she hit the keys each time. It's inevitable. I'll be so sad to see the magic fade. http://Oprah.com comes for us all. You're not supposed to bring hot beverages Hi! Thank you for your dream service. 100% within an hour Or, you know, whatever Bret is doing. They're over the moon. They'd prefer iPads but they're... No, it ended up being kind of expensive and complex all in... They are going to eat some fucking salad. You're a bunch of sour Sallies. Tickets are $10 so looks like Capitalism won. Sweet baby Jesus I hope so. I am impressed. I can't. I have to finish the one for adults. wow trinidad is open source I'm missing it because of flu, and sad, but it's the... Mint! (It's one tweet up.) Van rules It's much worse. Doc McStuffins practices foameopathic... lots of “If you sons a bitches want taft-hartley then you... I think they'd be so crabby, and then he'd get trolled and... A whole life, wasted. so that's where they record cheddar which is the cable... Rob also answered listener questions about Bluetooth. Write... Memes kill. Ben Franklin was very likely our finest potential Tweeter. Oh god no wait 100% teddy Roosevelt. Coolidge would have been like once every six months. Lincoln would have had the worst mentions. Context: https://youtu.be/D7XCkqyrBX4 Some days you need to go...@ rogue Gawker Was a Good Web Site Mostly Prettttty easy to pull off Huh also they are right by my office and i walk past them and i... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/925054427303743488/photo/1 holy shit Congratulations! https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/924627500164108288/photo/1 I’m glad you have this. eventually Our team is empowered to order suffering-free snacks... I didn't even know it was about child slavery until I was... I’m gonna miss local news. Gifts. Take it from me. If you write a post people just ask... Shifting never gets addressed in the literature. But... I just don’t see the motor control it’s like asking a dog... Lisa....thank you for being your amazing, kind, and... No judgment, truly, I own an OLPC and three Das Keyboards,... I enjoy watching things spread out though. The further they... Sorry I am convinced it will just be more lies. My Robocop 2 novelization came in the mail and I can... At HuffPo? Dan...thank you. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/923608088355266560/photo/1 Josh...that was outstanding. Well that’s terrible and also sadly typical. I don't think I can express how unbelievably important it... Still nature, though. That slip means that Saturday morning will be spent... I know there are other cities that receive mail. But if you need me send an email! There are lots of nice... +1 there are other terms but everyone knows exactly what... I mean shit of course that makes me feel better. proud to have the only halloween name I invited u u can log in with your twitter handle. It's you but with a triangle! Wait...a what who was a who now when? Why? Dude meant well and it's all good and I'm used to it. But... This truck is a very bad idea. It was a different time. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/923012727466901504/photo/1 This looks about right for Newark. Wow oh shit oh shit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aEyePgkL78 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdTvWK7MBeA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOqwpekXWX0 https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/922946702721650688/photo/1 of course, it's executive, it was chief peanut officer... oh my i went and dug up this particular artifact... i think that makes it roughly 5x as hilarious did you create this in org mode and then pipe it via pandoc... That’s...yep. Oh god I am angry at every weather app now. Hoof-grinding is one of the main ways you bond with Eocene... That is extremely brilliant. “Compared to yesterday: Warmer... People often wonder how I, a prolific tweeter, came by an... Her fragile disposition makes me worry for her sanity. A... If I could draw I would totally do a little comic about a... These poor people Tom it's so not their fault that... Sigh. I'm hopeful customer service can help and that I... Thank you! It's good to have these obsessions. Yeah but if I could get NYC to issue some kind of judgment... No I know, I mean why not! I know what I am and why people... Although I also have 70,000 followers on Medium. I feel there's more than a thousand dollars of value in it... I'm on this LONG hold, it's so quiet and calm. They've... I'm just hoping that by being completely exhausting but not... “I've talked to Matthew! I've talked to Melissa! I've... I'm trying to be cranky instead of mean to @Tmobile... Thank you! I like smart younger people who think I know... God this feels GOOD no wonder you all love to yell at... One day I’ll have a working phone and I’ll call @tmobile to... I actually have very sad family gossip about @Tmobile execs... Who knows how long this can go on. Two months of hot pink... Zoo owner here. Our chimp’s 43 years old and had uterine... Would have been more impressive with $2.26 million. If people had doubled down on the semantic web we’d be here... I’m thinking more we can make the ultimate final menu. Or... Exactly and everything happens for the best. AIs are gonna wanna eat too. It should be possible to download and process 15 years of... Oh okay my home Linux box is NVidia too so this is news I... It's fine, still early I haven't even had coffee yet. I was originally asking that ironically but then halfway... Does xkill still work? I love the ability to just kill... She went to bed wearing her picture clothes. I'm probably... I'm here on Saturday night searching "oopsla 1988" for only... The Charles Foster Centipede. God...yes Michael I feel that you and I need about twelve hours to... That one's pretty good. I'm working from home because both @maureenflaherty and I... She's suspicious cheerful this morning. I think it's the... Update: No fever this morning. She can go to picture day. Hibrow/lobrow by Levine about how rich people created fake... There's a good essay to be written on the concept of civic... I mean, it's a good pig. I was also reading and thinking things and learning to code... Writing my website! Early web, you never knew what was real or not! The lame... To save time! This method is faster and gives you full... No shame in laundry showering! I wrote about this in 2002!! (I had a pseudonym on my own... Folks. It's not complicated, you just hop into the shower... Also given that until I was 30 I often showered with... Yes it's been incredibly positive, you can see the effect... All of us awkwardly crammed in and angry, would be amazing. It's school picture days; you can see that what's fun... In a reasonable society children can learn responsibility... that was me Containers at scale and how that changes overall platform... thank you! Will there be a livestream available? wow that brings back memories of....writing perl for... Precision Auto is such a great song.... “I administer 15 community college libraries. Do you know... Thing is, Filemaker 7 WAS real good. (The path forward... "Morty" Jaaaaaaanet What I saw was that the more I believed in a thing the more... Oh god I'd never judge that, awk is so good. No it's very therapeutic you just open the app and tap away. Sorry, Perry, but you deliver high-quality content in just... Oh and “president” is a great word to block. Exactly! I hope they offer scholarships to people who lack the means... I also mass-unfollowed anyone who didn't follow me which... Two weeks ago: I fucking can't take it in this hell any... First, as your former teacher, it's “your.” But...it's a... Hi Sarah! Life has jagged edges Ben. I do this a lot and they're so perplexed but I'm like YOU... I know I know needs more slashes. It's VERY hammy. Burnham is so much fun to watch and when... I also just got a PR pitch and wrote back to ask for PR... It's AMAZING right? What in God's name. The social, and probably real, cost of the punitive... I keep veering from HELL YES LET'S GO to ARE YOU KIDDING ME... I would read/write fan fiction about how drifters finally... I think about this quote a lot on that:... oh i don't control that playlist. totally okay with it... There's a book you might like, Highbrow/Lowbrow by Lawrence... Thank you for bringing this travesty to my attention. This is real, you are right. It does feel a little like... Maybe it's time for YOUR FREAKING EPIC GOVERNMENT... I just got so sad reading that Ride safe! (With good bike clothes it's the most joyous long ride... Yes I hope you have good gloves? Welcome to layered knitwear season! It's the BEST!!! By accusing continental philosophy of “towering” you reveal... The word “towering” indicates a phallocentric association... Seven days until we get the answer. Like...we used Google Analytics. There was a period when... Yes and I have no idea what is going on. Oh God. Really? Whoa No no Woolworth. This utterly overwhelming and confounding piece by... I should point out that I've been a @Longreads pal forever,... I just ordered a copy of this book. I will never post pages... I am mixed on this show but the way it messes with... The sense of total potential diaster keeps me alive though. Erased that one my god He is relentless and global. But emphatically not! My lord. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/91992148035547136... It never occurred to me that there could be an entire album that's very sweet dear but it took like two years after... I mean the singularity should've gotten here by now. We were such children then. You're both such good friends and I'm lucky. Let's do these next 20 years in style, Dean. Fully expect to end my career in a short sleeve shirt... I'm less scared than I used to be because the tech is just... sure, https://www.shutterstock.com/blog/the-best-thing-i-eve... i didn't know about this one, this one is cute too also unusedClips=100000000000000; i mean go into console and type yomi=1000000000000 that... Or doing some nice fall programming. Something in the Carhartt line is fine.... I can tell you from long experience that if you wear a... Maybe three ear wiggles. New York hasn't been the same since they moved the Liberty... This thread achieved greatness. Good PR should coach them and be in the room during... I regret to inform you that 2017 has done it again.... Happy birthday! Again and again I partially agree but emphasize that they... Same kid said his uncle played Pennywise the clown. And when a kid asked him for Skittles the kid said, if you... this is cool And then I keep getting press release. And I lose interest because I want to share with readers... And if I ask to talk to the people who built it they say no... And what I get back is "can you write about our new app... No one ever trusts the press or should. Anyway I've tried a... Yeah I am pro porg in my space fun. I have no doubt some shitty hack did exactly that? That's... Here is the collection https://archive.org/details/last20 Nah, most journalists are just hacks trying to get someone... Their job is to protect the brand and the marketing... Sure. But if a journalist wants to write sincerely about... I forgot about the face she makes it's so good def looks that way Matthew if "bad tweets" were a reason to avoid following... This theory seems utterly plausible! Wow HuffPo has really encouraged your entrepreneurial streak Wow spare rib tips [looks me up and down] interesting... The worst would be the Seamless orders. Yeah it's a cognitive bomb in our cohort. It ends, though! Related, here is our mission statement and statement of... Yes exactly No no there's a paperclip game. They find reasons to get up (hungry, itchy vagina, sore... 730, read til 8 Spoke too soon Everyone is in bed https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/879492240229507072 Also it's cool to be a virgin it's a meaningless category... No but seriously folks a lot of books were just added to... This explains why the movie takes so long to run. Glad to be on the inside, Sam! Did you see the web clicker game where you are an AI trying... No alas. It just looked like my shirt and pants were... Also I wore work coveralls with a vest and tie a lot. In college a lot I'm sure I've offended good people here and I'm sorry. I'm... It's pretty simple to get started you just declare your... https://medium.com/@mariabustillos/blade-runner-2049-is-reve... I'm coming up on 20 years and I...also wrote another CMS. I'll be at another meeting downtown and no one factored in... I think it's one of those things where it's going to hurt a... It doesn't look unavailable to me more "neutral" maybe... No idea! Curious to know. It's just 100% likely you don't need that in your inbox... It goes on calendar but flagged as tentative I would also switch the underlying RSVP button to an active... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/917214931333894144/photo/1 No because my inbox is filled with SECRETS. I appreciate the simplicity of having a widget that is... But overall I think Microsoft has gotten very good at this... I do believe modals should inherit context since they... It's just very well executed and cuts a user workflow down... osil8 was many things! I didn't make it, I got to 4PM and turned into a crabby... Then "The C Programming Language," etc. etc. I'd dabble. Start here: http://cdn.oreillystatic.com/news/gr... I've never read GO TO but apparently it's good. The sort of... I'm sorry it's been a long weekend. If you liked it then you shoulda ediring on it. They're playing a dance game for XBox at the neighbors god... WHOOP Oh I haven't seen this in YEARS it's even more ridiculous... Just do crafts or whatever while I'm on my phone okay I love that you wanted this and they went Sure! And it... wow this tweet It's apparently really bad at riding academies. Little... see that's the exact kind of content that makes me so happy... It's just fun facts and pictures and deep thoughts from all... thank you for quenching this dad's T H I R S T They see it as the dominant life form. Dan you just wrote a fantasia about Dropbox “Is it okay if we delete universe 83948383? I want to... My pet theory is that the entities that run this simulation... there's always straddle generation i hate the idea of... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/916802992904515584/photo/1 I took them to the aquarium while she slept though it's a... I'm tweeting all this listening to the Lemonheads as my... I'm the wrong person to write it though. In my head this thing immediately became fully real: It's... If someone made a zine called Midlife Crisis I'd subscribe. True! Happy Saturday everybody! Occasionally wet https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/916775893594492930/photo/1 Starbucks would spell your name wrong on the package though. They don't like to look in the New Yorker mirror and see... Oh I TRULY wanted to be there. But Mo is sick and my kids... It's pretty great once with a shitty popcorn movie. Blade... It's AMAZINGLY violent in how it kicks you around. It's... Did you have popcorn We did it as a company outing with the hit man's bodyguard... Did you see BLADE RUNNER in 4DX holy shit. I cannot They're all in the administration now. I enjoyed being able to spend time with actual real... Sending a USB key and a metal file in a folder of... Do you require extraction? this is strong because the tastelessness actually takes... Adam is a valued leader with a good work ethic. Alexander my avatar is an Amiga floppy. That'll be totally fine esp if you set it up the first time... Like it's a lot for a Chromebook that you use for Gmail but... Nah it's got good fancy stuff. Ahhhh that makes sense I have a nerd dad who likes to... The price diff is because the Chromebook puts everything... If they need Word or love to play some game go with an... If they can/will use Google Docs and have good Internet get... Except these last months of relentless jitter. More like...a face...in the crowd...... I can't live in this world of normal, well-intentioned... it's so good. all corporate memberships so no one goes. make more nerd puns The OS of the future is a single chat window with stickers... this is the worst Eng-i-peer P versus NPvangelist Growgrammer Geek speaking what about Nerd herding Im just glad everyone is happy Is this in the #vegan channel? we've got a long road but ... that'd be great! If you're six you really want to (Minecraft). Tugs are the best. I'd settle for first party. It was good! We didn't even know at the time but it was just solid about... The cloud is great for users because it's cheap as hell,... Then again the largest company in the world can't make... I just want to search through a folder and have files I... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/915250609527361536/photo/1 we’re the best, thank you Always delete! Oh yeah I've seen this before, this is from when houses had... they just snuck "brands" in there like we wouldn't notice https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/468784141153345537 No one would run their stupid mouth on this sad day but... I'm a Wilbury apologist too and I agree. RIP Tom. It was three years ago and I apologize for nothing. No it's fair, literally all of this is very exhausting. I... Meaning that the sheep all died of a disease so you had to... Yes I remember this. I mean she was right about this, too. Right but that's different from fixing the Tweets. I believe that she said publicly that she felt her... Never followed up but I assume it saw the value of... Fun fact once at my college someone went vegan and started... I mean I love this thing and no one is mean to me here in... "They took the ride." Is a sterling kicker tho. Next year. They'll be seven. Wait are you up at Ft. Tryon? I nearly went but little... The water part is always broken which helps keep me humble. Ice dispenser built into the freezer door. Looked up from my infinite horrors device to see a tugboat... You're FREEEE slack is down freeeeeeeee POLL: Today Nah, don't bother. http://santiagotimes.cl/2017/10/31/miss-peru-2018-contestant... The Vice News summary of the attack downtown is helpful and... That's 1/10th the side of the C++ Wikipedia page.... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/925446271569158146/photo/1 He was a Colbert Report writer. Then @robdubbin thought,... For 9 years, I've thought at least weekly about this sad... That’s...Swiss. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/9253451824... I wonder if publishing could have better met the challenges... God bless the teachers at our PS about to manage a candy... Which presidents would have been good at Twitter? JFK,... Everybody stay hydrated, it’s gonna be another scorcher. POLL: Parents, what do you miss most? Either way tomorrow the one-word headline MELTDOWN is going... I’m a little sick and it’s raining and whenever that... Gonna be a lot of David S. Pumpkins pants crumpled on... True we switched @PostlightStudio to Albanese too and the... Oh my God. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HAGGIS... The original story lays it out in detail and the documents... These are great. Also scary. https://jezebel.com/10-scary-st... Excited for all my friends who just spent $1k so they can... Are you a dataviz designer who works freelance? How do you... Is there a term that describes when you replace a word with... I want to start playing things off this album at the start... We live in the Zalgo dimension. Apparently in my wife’s tradition you write letters to the... Georg Simon Ohm...welcome to the Resistance. guys do u like comedy https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/9228... 🎵 I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty,... Nothing but respect for my supervisor.... I should clarify my Lucinda is not a true eohippus but... My eohippus Lucinda and I know that my @TMobile journey is... There are MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN THE CENTER working on this.... So @TMobile has promised for the third or fourth time to... I'm going to call @Tmobile now for maybe the 30th time and... Day 2, @Tmobile still provides no service yet charges. My... I’m just about to give a talk about digital careers to a... Mentitlement I joke but I know the deal. I’m probably going to end up... Why so willing to help now? It’s very perplexing. People... Here are two beautiful bridges. Reminds me of the two... I should be clear I don’t expect you to care that @tmobile... I have no phone/data service (@TMobile has been charging me... Wait ex-presidents actually do live in your wallet was that... Decoding the Language of Extremist Clothing ... http://davidungar.net/Live2013/Live_2013.html... You know, there's ground, and then there's stone ground. They also lack a sense of...purpose.... Cc @katienotopoulos https://twitter.com/gaycivilrights/statu... For $250 with photographer this seems totally sensible.... Battlestar Galactica was pretty cool except for when they... This redesign is a brutal satire.... I hate passive-aggressive UX. When a computer sends me a... Open sourceish nerd leaders: This is a good job with good... Your AmEx name is the last three things you ordered... You're a person who says cutting, hurtful things to... Public notice: I'm a guilt-free unfollow. If I'm on my... I swear to God I muted the words “men” and “twitter” and... Spoiler alert. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/92036955249... Since we started @PostlightStudio I now get real estate... This song always makes me think about the heroes of... > Full autonomy attained in 2 hours 9 minutes 22 seconds Here's the exact moment on our podcast where @jennschiffer... The key to making good predictions is identifying the... Let's talk to @jennschiffer on the @PostlightStudio podcast... that's an excellent one Wait...I actually don't remember that at all. “Student lunch debt” is the most utterly fucked Dickensian... Put everything in Dropbox. https://twitter.com/onlyinbos/sta... Anonymous poll: As parents, we're most likely to fight— #comeON# https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/92003593411196108... It's time to pony up for @Longreads—who independently... Happy 4 the tardigrade. The https://open.spotify.com/track/5hNaglL3hysW6ZCp4k0RO5?s... “Butterfly” by Crazy Town starts playing.... I know and THANK GOD. The disruptors have created an... It could, but they're so unfuckingbelievably bad at... Social will basically need to mint its own currency or... Good animated GIF from the Pickle Day website. 6 tail wags,... A kid at this playground in South BK just told another kid,... We have the Marine Park nature center almost to ourselves.... Probably best you locked your account. John Waters Sleepaway Camp https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/1... This level of everyday beauty can be yours if you come work... I have some hard questions. https://twitter.com/bafeldman/st... I want so badly to believe something good is happening in... Rusty this is viral marketing. Here's absolutely everything I learned in my two years... Everywhere I look I think, that would make some good... I didn't get into it like I did the paperclip game. Here's a utility that automates clicking the mouse on your... I found your autobiography at the used bookstore.... oh nothin just dev rel things Ohhhhhh so when you subdue humanity you are just getting... I was so sad when it was over. I know it's a cliché by now but I am incredibly excited for... I always like reading Jack's code which always looks so... Life's pointlessness and “hope” being a lie used to... Microsoft Outlook for iOS added this RSVP widget that pops... They use Macs. Twitter could fix everything if it just offered an... For my midlife crisis I had a few drinks and ordered about... I'm teaching the kids to text and it's not very different... The ladies of Gen X: Underemployed, married to shitheads,... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/916756124354973696/video/1 this dog is actually not musical... Oh stop crying you big bunch of distressed babies.... This is the global diplomacy equivalent of a “shreds”... Man some people sure were on the wrong side of the first... Journalists rn https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/91612561822... “The key,“ said Saru seductively to Captain Lorca, “is to... 9/20/2014 smh https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/513316607247... That's what I like to see. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status... the bittersweet taste of hot grits... I hate when I look at a website and my brain starts playing... The title could have been “Don't sleep on this”... Wheeee On Interviewing and Being Interviewed - The New... http://thehill.com/policy/technology/353887-reddit-hires-fir... i found a relatively cheap empty gym near work where no one... oh ffs https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/43a5y9/uns... It's an actual interview on interviews.... That is objectively a lot of views.... Our friend @gob is working hard to build a digital-first... Well, that's Monday. What the hell am I going to add to this mix tape now? I'm doing something weird Thursday evening: I'm on a panel!... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/914315066094342145/photo/1 Look, everyone is coming for Twitter right now, but... Is Health Care a Right? | The New Yorker... Welcome to a world of 280 characters.... https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/914315249230209024/photo/1 Who gives a shit what some guy said on the Internet my... Everyone needs to stop with the Stranger Things and focus... First of all, Hollywood, a driving dog wouldn’t steer with... What’s the fastest way to ruin a New Yorker’s life?... People on Twitter are wondering what I meant by “LinkedIn... Dude working at the gym just told me he’s proud of me.... God I hate that the only way to resolve issues with large... My new book came with a bookmark!!!... Libraries are also a safe calm healthy place where poor... I appreciate how Superchunk looks like they were just... I keep thinking about that Reddit dude who didn't know that... My website is in the coveted 18–35 age bracket.... Nerds: Paperclip game has straightford no-deps JavaScript... This is true. It's a disaster to report out a new product... Just in case my email is ever hacked, I would like to... > Hi, would you like to talk at a conference in the... This book is about horses who use git.... I haven't seen Blade Runner 2049 yet but is everything... I'm learning about kubernetes and the way it works is you... The point in the weekend when you transform from a loving... Twitter has been really fun for me since I applied a simple... My daughter, unsolicited. https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/... I've worked with a lot of really good software developers... And in the end it...actually...was...about...ethics in... Guess I just blew my chance of writing for the Atlantic. I was in the hospital with my newborn twins, and I could... I keep listening to Tom Petty and thinking that life is... *brand manager* my brands I've been teaching six year olds to use computers and let... Dropbox has deemphasized the thing it does beautifully to...