June 2015 BY Paul Ford 2015 565 Sections We should totally do this more often. http://sonic-pi.net/ it just makes sense "in the world" not "in to the world" the warm flush of... umm http://elinks.or.cz/ much on Instagram getting burned for namedropping is the sweetest burn could have been two lines of APL I need to start leaving a running CIDER open at all times... Also what's up with the grade inflation? "Near A-" is just... I welcome the feedback! guys its late can we just click the cowboy finn i don't e YES I FORGOT THIS ONE wait what I thought the @rustyk5 PR was pretty clear That is very kind, thank you. you'd hope but then... Finn the “Ventimiglia, Yaco-Mink, Attorneys” stationery... ooooof yeah it Oh man tbbbbbbb shhhhhhpx lbheeeefrrrryyyysss I did write this in case anyone needs to understand the... i'm sorry omg PLEASE i mean what the hell you should do that seriously it was the biggest boopiest thing it was cool as... Oh literally no one knows except it will involve lots of... I know, but at least we know now where we need to take the... (and then we end up outsourcing the emotional/mental labor... and the work to actually fix it is GRITTY product and... comments sections are like these fema trailers of the web,... there's more 15 year olds. in some ways it's because... which i mean honestly deep down it kind of still is. jk I know you'd never the emails mention gender, the industry was always male... worked through, they're like "omg i have to try python!" and it's like where did this GO? but seriously i've gotten SO MANY emails that are like my... lol no it's a disaster tho and the discourse around it is a... yeah no i think that it's such a red-hot issue plus i'm a... which, like, who wouldn't be exhausted/suspicious what i noticed from feedback is that people not in tech saw... it's like we felt architectural survivor's guilt after WWII... there was breakfast sbarros going on today at union station... no exactly at any moment they realize you're actually alive... oh wow elinks just shits the bed entirely i've been getting TONS of emails from women in their 60s... the fantasy that coders are geniuses is a self-reinforcing... even if you are a jackass sexist who believes women lack... yeah some people get the irony there and some don't. the... then again yesterday i was at nyc penn station at 9am on a... yeah the exact word I was thinking was "creepy" as I walked... Please! Agreed! Come by our offices near Union Square. that sounds great! hi! is it really that close? I would actually love to visit.... also you Jacob oh man I would LOVE to come and say hi to @mkhandekar i miss those. they were great and worked incredibly well. We hacked into his computer and there was a folder called... i literally have no idea how you could make a lawn that... suit, no candy, coffee two actually dude the lawns are gorgeous That's great to read on a Sunday morning. Thank you! Oh and “House of Representatives” is “Freshest Utopia... Ruth Bader Ginsburg comes in with “Ban Turgid Burghers” and... i mean he'd almost need to i mean, i think so! oh i dunno i like this one too https://twitter.com/xeni/stat... leah there is one REMARKABLE reply in that twitter thread you and @tophtucker could just get up and stand there and... they did! It's buried here in my twitter feed but it was... happens to all of us i read it three times i use tmux, sir (tips fedora) Thank you! So much credit is due to @tyrangiel and the... bloomberg west but indeed our hair has life force. It holds onto the head my barber is always amazed at it. He just can't believe it... I would try it's just your beautiful mind shining through which reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n26hAOmk... That's why I use this amazing new service called Medical... never forget how we survived dancing baby groot oh my god Dima what have you done ooooof what is this nooo that was great which is fair! god that's true well alex hacking is a term that the media has... TWO MINUTES OKAY ON ME HI PAUL WHAT DID YOU WRITE OKAY... the charlie rose makeup lady was so amazing she was like... i made a vow oh my GOD Oh! And there's a giant book of JSTOR history that I happen... MUUUUUUUUUUUUUMPS lolololol OOOOOH. Google hates to give access but I could try. no no i totally support you buying the print edition it's... for reals tho? Which newsstand? @Tyrangiel its just Tom Petty plus cat puns I had to show up now I'm deeeeeeee, deeee clawin' lol does he know about the very cheap software defined radios... OH HELLS YES Is he a programmery type of person? yessssssssss that is amaaaaaazing WORKS goooood luuuuuuuck and safe travels! yeah they were SERIOUS it made me laugh though and isn't the laughter of one... tempting! lol this was the EXACT intent tweetstorm comin the xpath implementation inside of Saxon is great. I've... I mean the giant Michael Kay XSLT2 tome is everything you... actually, of course it's on github! https://github.com/bloombergmedia I don't THINK that's stickily set, like once you close that... to make you an awesome certificate in a purely opt-in way... No it makes a “certificate” and is purely local storage,... Donner party diary: “Jebediah passed. We are setting in to... its a good dream, like the one shared by pioneers of 1830... Java is not that bad! But it is BIG and easy to get lost... well it's much easier to go up a level and much harder to... you are so right Thank you! This is super helpful. And complex! like react is a virtualized abstract DOM and this is,... i mean no you're actually right in like a crazy abstract way (I'm starting to see. They are communicating it roughly but... Okay so...today we're doing this AOT transpiling-to-asm.js... Plugins were cool I understood plugins. Ahhhh which is why it's called WebAssembly. Thanks. So...hmm...eventually we might get a VM that... WOW THAT DUKE ted i'm worried oh man just think of the platforms targeting this david i'm worried guys WHIP THE DIP is trademark Topolsky-Ford-Sysco-CISCO... 1000%, whip the dip oh my arrrrrrrrrrrrgh like it really is a perfect metric for how much you... lolol I know it's melting my brain. we can all live together .io and .club elle dear and there is nothing there yet. Soon though! oh god it would be so soothing like just why you are both in agreement on dishwashers is... guys okay I have zero interest in the sims but TREMENDOUS... I'll get you one. You'll appreciate how great the print is.... ANIL next time I ruined my back so I'm hiding in the hotel waiting for... same here! thank you for whipping the dip it just makes sense stuff like that happens if they were using it as test data... it happens this is very probably true wow I'm not there but this #SonyE3 situation sounds like BAD... wow (i finally saw it for the first time this am it is... i think you will be okay Also there's good white noise going. this is the QUIETEST place it is WONDERFUL just for a little and i am a horrible post-air travel... good point whoa i'll have some in a little bit and will definitely report... CODE by Charles Petzold is truly ground-up. most birthdays suck but yours is cool Hi guys happy birthday to Laura. yes :( nah people are cool. I mean some aren't. But I like to hear... oh no I've received hundreds? of emails they're just not... that means a lot coming from you! excellent they agree! https://twitter.com/McDNYTriState/status/6102723... Will this also be true in San Francisco McDonalds? I'm... yeah like the per-refill ritual is sooooo good oh man that's a good idea next time in PA the thing about good diner coffee is you want to be able to... you know this might solve my SF problem lol its sonic pi (which basically is ruby) yeah it's VERY high risk If Hillary Wants to Help the Middle Class, Start With Coffee there's a think piece here leah a thinkpiece with terrible... as @dannosowitz will attest WaWa has coffee that poor,... i miss when everyone smoked parliaments and couldn't taste... i just like to like have one or two cups of basically okay... i would be cool with that tbh thank you you are a good person who made a real suggestion Awesome! she says hi i am the husband of @maureenflaherty! the odds are stacked against it its still in there, in the tutorial section! Just doesn't... gotta kill digital darlings too i can hardly see the screen through the tears been there. Oof. Very memorable. lol all good I did she was touched Right! I had the same experience. FINALLY. It's such a... I think the fallacies particularly appeal in messageboard... oh yeah thats like, the sharpest conversational turn and... post; the original was org-mode but it had to become word oh i just found the tags they are exactly right thanks! will take it my favorite feedback I've gotten a few times is "this... I mean I knew exactly what I was wading in to when I agreed... thank god we stopped calling it paulbot I did it for the twins might have been some @JPaskin in there too whoa Thank you! i just saw that i wow i've heard tell of two or three other trapeze prod mgrs... right not yet thanks Mariko it's running past the copy desk... Oh sure. I'm also taking heat for referring to PHP by its... and @stephcd for sooo much including the beautiful console... i'm going to add this image to the discussion as I believe... That's on me. I need to hold on to copyright so that it can... we talk babies for real sam we know PR means love my nerd self nods and my writer self panics when I see that mmmmmmm wow I can smell the drool toph why would you...set me to...null... let a bot dance dammit bostock sup @tophtucker in movies this ends badly can u file an issue https://github.com/BloombergMedia/whatis... and others are doing it! We need to start buying a few... she's cool that is an accurate and well-reported media story thank you... no you are correct I am half horse It's flowing into another book that I must finish. But it... i was so thrilled to write things, i loved life of a stat You were VERY, VERY cool about it and I increasingly... thanks guys also Finn did I tell you they're MY LAWYERS TOO? limited audience but genuinely great joke meeeeeeeee guys... it's a magazine... you buy it at a newsstand or... I mean, it is true to my experience and I showed it to lots... I'm really sorry you didn't like the article. I respect... fair if you want take a look at the print magazine. different... mark, you blocked me, so I am not able to provide direct... pretty sure that's all localstorage; code is on GitHub. The... right? booooo excellent tip will add to my "hope to comprehend one day"... hiya joel! That means a great deal. some things aren't for playing whoops really mindbending it really is! I was using kona, the gpled variation but its... god that is TRUE pro publica could do that been there so many times. it hurts day zero but then day... It's so weird to be the subject of one of those https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QyCxVkXwQ cool photoshop work In all seriousness can you file an issue? I didn't do that... oh not me that thing is a work of genius that was @stephcd that's why we couldn't have lunch did you try the konami code? oh god i paced them out so i'd get a little more commit history at... i am bracing myself yes easter egg, nothing sneaky ? i like free jazz! hi! lol I just feel an URGENT need to credit @BW yes those are editors! (This is a serious answer--the... the whole thing is on GitHub if you want to file a pull... i mean *I'm* comfortable with this assessment It's being mailed to 900,000 people who subscribe to... wow It took 50 people helping for me to do it all myself. no the print is as amazing as the digital ALSO it was... I mean maybe the thing to do is file a github issue?... Thank you! I'm not scheduled for my reaving until 2034. needs more unit tests I know 50+ people deserve the credit tho yeah I am the LAST person to congratulate along those lines. did you see the photo illustration of the bikeshed? well? oh @tophtucker was going to build one in but ran out of... me toooooooooooooo do you want to come on bloomberg TV with me we could do a... also thank you for eight billion reasons when this is done I will ceremonially burn my blazer good morning Katie! what the hell is “meaning close to exobyte size” and how... oh the company store has these amazing cheese baskets they pay in Bloomcoins. leah I'm not sure which tweet that replies to. Probably both. I just looked through it again and it is still insane. That was REALLY hard AND an experience of working with... I spelled waaaaaay wrong doing waaasay more than her share right now yeah i mean what can we even say I did while researching this piece but switched to K for... tomorrow 7am they don't let me access the terminal how do you feel about...paper http://platisher.com bound to happen I went back and looked at those responses and we landed a... And useful. Don't count your chickens here Daniel. No this is just something that a freelance writer must... guys relax we're ALL smug i have two three minute segments on tv to boil down the... sorry i thought you were etsy wait how are you guys doing search? i think it has actually? but that part is still... eugene it's a REALLY GOOD language ecosystem and the... i've been coming around on java lately. I'm so sleepy. right? you will need an earbud sanitization strategy oh yes also they have to come to Ditmas so I do 25% plus $6... nope looks fun tho it is great i was very happy to see it! “And in Cupertino there was Steve Jobs, who begat, with... privacy...teal...digital crown...somethingKit.... like Duplex Planet! that would be great. [sound of paul exploding] My idea for a cartoon is two surgeons holding a bloody... wait really? I mean I love getting credit for things but... Everyone I know HOW to us Google Docs I just forget that... it's so hard to find them! that works great on my McIntosh no but this is for ironic usage in a print publication hey @alexgrantwright you owe me $1.50 i just sold a copy of... I'm in it! (It's good, but it's about the business.) i mean they made me square dance in public school they... you know what would be cool is a room-sized little man... Last bit: get Python and play with it. It will not judge... http://ella.slis.indiana.edu/~roday/what%20is%20documentatio... Alex Wright's GLUT is about library data systems in history... the dream of the 80s is alive in Berlin! so for LOGIC this was rough going for me (read years ago)... so! search engines at their simplest are not that crazy to... very few popular works actually describe how things work i have always been kibo thank you leah yeah I should have stopped sigh I mean they need to cybernate sometime bears need to get off the internet did the first bear ask the second bear "hey baby what's... just a lot of assumptions in here that give me paws how are u sure of the receiving bears gender 2016 dont make me pepper jack in your ass gouda mob wow that reply REALLY works my pencil hand is a claw yeah and the blue glowy brains and stuff i was pretty sigh does it come with a special keyboard there's a whole container thing going on it's really... building the cups for candy are really too big given the name on the... i will totally read this! that dog would spill for a biscuit come on imagine a boston trying to keep ANY secret this is cracking me up because brindles would be like I AM... is this conversation on or off the sofa what about regarding boston terriers That is amazing and wonderful. Good for you both. it's good content what is happening why is this so funny this is like the funniest thing i've... that was the plan but carbs took over story of my fuckin... it's fine i'm here tweeting i should have gone and gotten a... i can help Does your firewall block Google docs? orange and green beans actually i wisely put pb in a small... comfortable also the negotiation about when you should go to the... it's like 90 minutes from spirulina shake to the kind of... every ten minutes you wait to order, your choice gets one... The worst is while you wait for them to heat your... It's time sensitive, right? There's mid-day forage, the... given the materials you work with it would immediately lead... It's very important it STOPS making peanut butter. Wasn't this already done with Rumble by Link Wray? not really but mo puts up with a lot Honestly if you guys want four days in Spain go do it, I'll... when it works though it will be the sweetest thing turns out now do it in a browser being a primate is weird i keep expecting to look at it and go "oh man I should... it's so weird that i can just read elisp now But what if she was a dolphin? ulgh true these people are amazing and they have this ENORMOUS screen... goddammit @bn2b it sucks to be so right... space is hard but hyphens can be very soft Clarence Thomas is an anagram for "Conceal Hamster" tonight, there's gonna be a lot of jiggery-pokery with... wow *that* does a little dance to get you some content at first i was like whatever but you have to admit that is... A huge amount of bullshit went to bullshit heaven today. whoa @onthemedia went full DATAPOCALYPSE... most cats suck feeling this rn https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/5896084690... this is amazing trolling http://tktk.gawker.com/woman-who-ca... the party is still going It's been down for five minutes which is a life record. I did what I could said the makeup person regarding my... for a moment just now I was like why am I here in this... guys i gotta do this retweet okay so just be chill does that song tom's diner ever get stuck in your head the... Oh, hah no—they just invert the gravity. Hahah Rusty that's all CGI now. the thing is you don't know for sure if he ever leaves “Are you going on TV again any time soon? Because I have a... 3/2 (Esp. if I can talk to engineers! PR people are... 2/2 What other databases should I write about for @tnr? I... 1/2 Every month(ish) @tnr lets me talk about huge... Before you get too upset with me, I predicted this would... His eyes aren't soft. That's just the laser beams... it's like the opposite of creepshots anyway i just wanted to write about something that isn't... the web started as a ship of theseus and now it's a space... Acronym I just learned: JV for “joint venture.” Gonna be... we brought this on ourselves “Editors such as vim and emacs should just work.”... I THINK it's JVM-ish/hotspot-ish with DOM for classlib? But... omg what is happening who are we now... “Why create a new standard when there is already asm.js?”... Oh wow WebAssembly is going to be bananacakes... omg i'm SO SORRY the enemy of the sharing economy just http://postlight.com https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/610844766415130624/photo/1 Whip the dip I am at @Medium which is a calm and collected place to... Okay that question obviously brought out some strong... Oh my god I was so tired on that podcast I had no idea.... So I was on @joshuatopolsky's podcast to talk “Code,” but... That moment in the car service when you double-check that... Whoa old-school AOL compiled its code by having developers... I just wanted to go somewhere nice and have nice coffee... Is there a place in SF where I can get a really WEAK cup of... I haven't made that joke since 2013. Q: How does a waiter say, “You disgust me?” A: “Americano?” you'll read all seven sequels, like an animal god spoken like a true pinger do you get it now when i said you are definitely a pinger This story by @digiphile is good not because it praises... https://vine.co/v/OlDhtMFUErJ Thanks everyone for writing in we are tracking that gcc is... Today my family earned the “toddler stepped in human poop... so @jimaley had an idea, we would have a little character... okay okay http://ma.tt/2015/06/paul-ford-what-is-code-bloomb... I really like going on @onthemedia they ask lots of big... this is reality right here https://github.com/BloombergMedia... This is data journalism about journalism about data.... I like the way this talks to nice people who did tons of... Ashley Feinberg was super pro and on top of her shit even... :) it's the whole issue you'll recognize it because it has... this is the true face of coding photo by @mahon_e... the aggregator has become the aggregatee writers of color goes VERY deep and is very cool... Here is MY three-word summary of my article for busy... No me too, same thing. People on the Internet were happy to... I shouldn't have used sudo tho :/ my fortran sucks not gonna front This is so true https://twitter.com/digiphile/status/6090155... I mean I predicted this Already scheduled my shrink Katie is right view it in desktop the web team did the most... Remember its not lines of prose that matter its the quality... 6:20AM at @bizweekgraphics https://twitter.com/ftrain/status... oh I use it constantly “I swept.” –My wife after four consecutive days and nights... fair holy shit you are right “Let me save the day for you!” [Deletes entire building] I'm going home to leave the web team behind to produce the... “Are you just going to dive onto a spit in advance, or?” is... i'm really psyched about rot13 tweeting never occurred to me I am braced for opinions. The real problem is that no one wrote tests for the cover. java micro frameworks! http://blog.takipi.com/java-micro-fra... “An earlier version of this article misstated the number of... just gonna take a little nap right here in this aquarium It proooobably shouldn't have taken eighteen minutes to get... seriously everyone this picture of the girl petting the... how do you bulk up a story when writing for businessweek?... what are words really This is such an amazingly catchy earworm... http://mlkshk.com/p/14K53 i just accidentally closed a google doc that someone shared... Style and usage question: _EOF_ or __EOF__? An article about pre-chum http://www.newrepublic.com/article... swiss beatz I kind of miss writer's block tbh. and i wanted to warn you because my nerdiness is getting... guys i know you may not have ever guessed this but i am... whole album is amazing this Holly Herndon https://open.spotify.com/track/0r5wWqZb5x... docs b4 apps tom we're just going to have to go on without her i mean at some level aren't mute inglor miltons more... oh yeah tei xml http://www.thomasgray.org/cgi-bin/display.cg... everyone trots out ozymandias when they need to reference... voice mail tolls the knell of parting day, etc. somehow my world always returns to late nights in... I did not eat a full cup of Mike & Ike's today. give this a try http://www.thepolylife.com/ this is an excellent taxonomy of internet chum by @mahon_e... and sometimes the bar eats you MINKEL on BELMONT http://www.newrepublic.com/article/121970/... i ate the pretzels and peanut butter and as a result the... I feel most vulnerable carrying hot beverages down the... I keep spilling small amounts of beverage everywhere... For deadline lunch I'm having pretzels, a banana, fresh... I feel this way about soda machines, coffee dispensers,... I sort of feel that the peanut-butter machine should be... Whenever I try a new dispensing machine I have a definite... Someone helped me use the peanut-butter machine here in the... if you are a nerd who finds media platform$ fascinating you... Businessweek copy desk is not playing. ♫ Oh the pundit is a person in your media, in your media,... “I smoldered on.” The best line of 2012–2019.... Content is coming. but the homophone harum brings to mind centuries of sexual... I'm writing a magazine article about programming and I just... I always just call Arecibo whenever I'm going anywhere from... No Siri, I don't want ‘seafood restaurants near me.’ / Are... what if siri was dolphins saying it's 420 am alone in a dark room when you can't... “MY WEBSITE is 20 years old today.”... Imposter syndrome overdrive https://twitter.com/ftrain/statu... God, does anything feel better than when you learn that... I love when it does this. Inside of every giant web app... I worried that the spiders that make up my soul would pour... I'm no longer terrified of going on television. Turns out... people tweeting pictures of the businessweek cover at me... “Surely someone has figured a way to transform an mbox... I have received the ultimate writer's test: Taking critical... Now I can stop procrastinating and finish my book about web... didn't work for a few good reasons but my idea was to make... MetaFilter https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/609561672357965... This is very cool. Editorial attribution/CC licensing... Maybe bots deserve equal rights but is that == rights or... For people asking for a PDF version of the Code article, I... If you love self promotional retweets I have some fantastic... This is my official badge at Bloomberg today.... Here is a short story I wrote for public entertainment...