Ftrain, by Paul Ford

December 2019

Dec 31, 2019

I've been severely owned. I'm helping my son clean his...

I've been severely owned. I'm helping my son clean his room, so he asked if he could choose some music. I said sure, but please no Imagine Dragons (he's eight). He agreed and I was relieved, then he put on a 20-song playlist by Survivor.

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Dec 31, 2019

I'm 10+ years older than many of the people I follow, and...

I'm 10+ years older than many of the people I follow, and in the next decade I'm so excited to see you all make the journey into your 40s and realize certain wonderful and eternal truths.

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Dec 31, 2019

I always think of this as my daughter's MetaFilter dress.

I always think of this as my daughter's MetaFilter dress.

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Dec 30, 2019

Your kids can seem big and loud and demanding, and then...

Your kids can seem big and loud and demanding, and then sometimes you notice that they are very small in comparison to the rest of the huge, noisy world.

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Dec 30, 2019

Efforts like this are so great. History is just missing for...

Efforts like this are so great. History is just missing for so many people. Also they are going to use a “triplestore.” t.co/...

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Dec 29, 2019

Witchers should learn to code.

Witchers should learn to code.

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Dec 28, 2019

I just asked myself, what were my 10 greatest failures this...

I just asked myself, what were my 10 greatest failures this decade? And now I can't stop thinking about it.

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Dec 24, 2019

Little spies who sneak open their bedroom doors best get...

Little spies who sneak open their bedroom doors best get their butts back in bed tout suite or face extreme Christmas consequences.

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Dec 23, 2019

Comedians in Cars Getting Cancelled

Comedians in Cars Getting Cancelled

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Dec 22, 2019

Tweet

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Dec 21, 2019

An HTML page can have a little JavaScript. As a treat.

An HTML page can have a little JavaScript. As a treat.

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Dec 19, 2019

Maybe this Christmas you could put down the Star Wars and...

Maybe this Christmas you could put down the Star Wars and remember that the true “Force” comes from Jesus Christ or as I like to call him the Sandalorian.

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Dec 17, 2019

AWS just keeps getting more and more complicated.

AWS just keeps getting more and more complicated.

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Dec 17, 2019

2019: Design systems. 2020: Design system systems.

2019: Design systems.
2020: Design system systems. x.com/...

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Dec 16, 2019

This VP of Marketing's response is just...this person is...

This VP of Marketing's response is just...this person is just an absolute warrior for the brand.
gq.com/...

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Dec 15, 2019

The Singularity is Near, Change My Mind.

The Singularity is Near, Change My Mind.

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Dec 14, 2019

Surprisingly good prank/joke the kids learned: Kid: I'm...

Surprisingly good prank/joke the kids learned:

Kid: I'm going to make you say the number “ten.”

Me: Okay.

Kid: What's one plus eight?

Me: Nine.

Kid: There, I made you say “nine.”

Me: Wait, you said “ten.”

Kid: Ahhhhhhhh! You said it!

Me: Shit, that's effective.

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Dec 14, 2019

If I wanted to interconnect all human knowledge I would...

If I wanted to interconnect all human knowledge I would just drop acid and invent HyperCard.

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Dec 12, 2019

at least vlc will get its santa hat soon

at least vlc will get its santa hat soon

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Dec 12, 2019

A thing confusing folks: It's designed for FRIENDS to chat...

A yap.chat thing confusing folks: It's designed for FRIENDS to chat with each other privately. It can be public and you can invite strangers but that's not the goal.

- Study and listen to lo-fi beats with your cousins.
- Drink and watch the VMAs.

Spyless fun!

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Dec 12, 2019

Meet Yap! Real-time, disposable chat with no logs for all...

Meet Yap! Real-time, disposable chat with no logs for all your trash-talking needs. Or as @richziade writes ”What’s the business model? Who gives a shit!”

postlight.com/...

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Dec 11, 2019

I like to listen to old audio files to fall asleep. So I...

I like to listen to old audio files to fall asleep. So I tried out this episode of Meet the Press from the 50s with British historian Arnold Toynbee. And his voice is like taking seven Benadryl. I cannot make it more than 3 minutes. I recommend it.

youtu.be/...

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Dec 11, 2019

He's got a clean car (baby it's cold outside) He's rated...

He's got a clean car (baby it's cold outside)
He's rated five stars

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Dec 11, 2019

2019 Baby It's Cold Outside I really can't stay I have to...

2019 Baby It's Cold Outside

I really can't stay
I have to go home
Andrew is outside in a Gray Toyota Sienna and will depart within 4 minutes

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Dec 10, 2019

If you need anything from me RN please know I had seven...

If you need anything from me RN please know I had seven meetings today and before that from 4AM-5AM I gently palpated the hurty tum-tum of a constipated eight-year-old.

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Dec 9, 2019

Everyone on social media keeps circling this story like a...

Everyone on social media keeps circling this story like a bunch of vultures. Which makes sense because it's about carry-on. x.com/...

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Dec 8, 2019

You can sing the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt song to...

You can sing the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt song to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

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Dec 7, 2019

Also little cat trots.

Also little cat trots.

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Dec 7, 2019

What are your most soothing household sounds? Dishwasher...

What are your most soothing household sounds?

Dishwasher running as I'm reading.

Water whooshing in pipes.

Metal window frames make a soft crack-thump after sun goes down and they contract.

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Dec 5, 2019

You know who was killed because he worked for his dream...

You know who was killed because he worked for his dream Bran?

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Dec 5, 2019

Nothing would make me happier as a customer than receiving...

Nothing would make me happier as a customer than receiving 100 suitcases.

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Dec 5, 2019

I kept falling asleep during a P.G. Wodehouse audiobook on...

I kept falling asleep during a P.G. Wodehouse audiobook on vacation and it would keep playing, so that's my artist of the year.

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Dec 2, 2019

I wish to god I had no idea who Van Halen is.

I wish to god I had no idea who Van Halen is.

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Dec 2, 2019

It's over.

It's over.

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Dec 1, 2019

I somehow got my blankets exactly right tonight. Fresh...

I somehow got my blankets exactly right tonight. Fresh sheets, two light blankets, and a weighted top blanket. It created a set of microclimates allowing me to move between warm and cool zones with tiny motions. I will spend the rest of my life trying to get back to this.

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Nov 30, 2019

It's going to be kind of sad when I finally erase my old...

It's going to be kind of sad when I finally erase my old tweets. x.com/...

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