Ftrain, by Paul Ford

September 2014

Sep 30, 2014

Me: “I've got this huge 20,000 word thing due tomorrow it's...

Me: “I've got this huge 20,000 word thing due tomorrow it's going to take hours.”
@maureenflaherty: “Maybe don't launch a website tonight.”
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Sep 30, 2014

this is a cool smart and fun way to grow your web-audience

@Linkletter @torrez this is a cool smart and fun way to grow your web-audience
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Sep 30, 2014

nice work here http://tilde.club/~kenkeiter/

nice work here tilde.club/...
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Sep 30, 2014

based on centos, very stripped down

@axfelix based on centos, very stripped down
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Sep 30, 2014

standard amazon linux ami

@axfelix standard amazon linux ami
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Sep 30, 2014

you are now the majority owner

@bn2b you are now the majority owner
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@tomburns [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@atduskgreg [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@andymangold [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@procload [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

it's literally an AWS box with public_html hosting,...

@reppep it's literally an AWS box with public_html hosting, absolutely nothing else
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@evilhackerdude [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@kenkeiter [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@salim [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@kenkeiter [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@salim [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@mattdennewitz [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

just a tiny completely standard unix machine with...

@mark_myerson just a tiny completely standard unix machine with absolutely no extras that lets people have home pages
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@GrantBarrett [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@nate_smith [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@sheep_robby [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@ashponders [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@bernie [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@f @torrez [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@thricedotted [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@manjulamartin [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@extraface @negatendo [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@benjaminjackson [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@openvanderwal [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@negatendo @kfan [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@DanielZarick [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@TaylorLorenz [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com...

@NicholasShulman [Pseudo-autoreply] Shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] If you want an account, shoot me an...

@igowen [Pseudo-autoreply] If you want an account, shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] If you want an account, shoot me an...

@colinfitz @nzle [Pseudo-autoreply] If you want an account, shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] If you want an account, shoot me an...

@paulsmith [Pseudo-autoreply] If you want an account, shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't. Thanks!
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Sep 30, 2014

[Pseudo-autoreply] Can you shoot me an email at...

@kentbrew [Pseudo-autoreply] Can you shoot me an email at ford@ftrain.com with your username if you haven't already? Thanks.
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Sep 30, 2014

it will be there waiting

@lindseyweber it will be there waiting
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Sep 30, 2014

chicken chicken chicken facts? https://www.youtube.com/watch...

@merveille chicken chicken chicken facts? youtube.com/...
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Sep 30, 2014

you can have the whole thing

@bn2b you can have the whole thing
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Sep 30, 2014

The first hundred or so http://tilde.club username/paswords...

The first hundred or so tilde.club username/paswords are in your spam folders. I am a moron.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send an email to ford@ftrain.com with your username...

@scottfahrig Can you send an email to ford@ftrain.com with your username pls tx.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@VictoriaMia @tcarmody Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@brfidler Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@jakesutton @mathowie Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

gregor you know that is not possible

@GregorStocks gregor you know that is not possible
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@chrisdary Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@obra Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@treedemon Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@jdherg Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@kb Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@PeterMHoward Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@ntlk Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the...

@lis_pendens Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com with the username you want.
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com

@bdunbar Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com

@scotthorn Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com
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Sep 30, 2014

Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com

@brynh Can you send me an email to ford@ftrain.com
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Sep 30, 2014

that is standard cowsay output ~noz

@nzle that is standard cowsay output ~noz
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Sep 30, 2014

I once got the autograph of a KYW 1060 anchor named Rika...

@leahfinnegan I once got the autograph of a KYW 1060 anchor named Rika Dufus. She was awesome.
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Sep 30, 2014

I was like 11 and liked news radio and then they played...

@leahfinnegan I was like 11 and liked news radio and then they played Orson Welles it was cool
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Sep 30, 2014

Apparently I "have" to go to bed and do "work" tomorrow so...

Apparently I "have" to go to bed and do "work" tomorrow so I will set up the rest of the logins later. tilde.club/... gnight
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Sep 29, 2014

actually my book

@nzle actually my book
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Sep 29, 2014

if you legit want an account send an email to...

if you legit want an account send an email to ford@ftrain.com pls it will make this idiotic folly much easier on me tx
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Sep 29, 2014

okay http://www.tilde.club/ is up and i'm going to bed i'll...

okay tilde.club is up and i'm going to bed i'll make accounts in the next few days you're all getting doofy passwords
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Sep 29, 2014

my wife just came in and asked for my registrar password

@goldman my wife just came in and asked for my registrar password
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Sep 29, 2014

nah i was looking for phiffer

@donohoe nah i was looking for phiffer
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Sep 29, 2014

oh god i got drunk and incurred a lifetime digital...

oh god i got drunk and incurred a lifetime digital responsibility again
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Sep 29, 2014

nice meeting you the other day michael

@donohoe nice meeting you the other day michael
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Sep 29, 2014

i just registered http://tilde.club so if anyone wants a...

i just registered tilde.club so if anyone wants a shell and public_html (no CGI) lmk i'll be at tilde.club/...
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Sep 29, 2014

YES also i just registered http://tilde.club and will given...

@mathowie YES also i just registered tilde.club and will given anyone a shell account who wants one
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Sep 29, 2014

my wife just explained to me that using tildes instead of...

my wife just explained to me that using tildes instead of colons is purely a west coast thing rockalittle.com/...
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Sep 29, 2014

“Tomorrow I will hum Rhiannon to myself and think of you…”...

“Tomorrow I will hum Rhiannon to myself and
think of you…” rockalittle.com/...
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Sep 29, 2014

just like you soldiers are so brave but you have a destiny...

@amandayaggy just like you soldiers are so brave but you have a destiny just like i did when i was on the EDGE OF SEVENTEEN
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Sep 29, 2014

i mean it comes back to her four times in four paragraphs...

@amandayaggy i mean it comes back to her four times in four paragraphs i've never even
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Sep 29, 2014

i'm kind of freaking out over here amanda

@amandayaggy i'm kind of freaking out over here amanda
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Sep 29, 2014

i'll sob even harder

@GlennF i'll sob even harder
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Sep 29, 2014

yeah glenn i don't want to just sob for two hours

@GlennF yeah glenn i don't want to just sob for two hours
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Sep 29, 2014

that article, those tweets, her commas

@waxpancake that article, those tweets, her commas
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Sep 29, 2014

“This is the legend of the great Welsh Queen Rhiannon and...

“This is the legend of the great Welsh Queen Rhiannon and her birds,” wrote Stevie Nicks in Thanksgiving of 2004 rockalittle.com/...
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Sep 29, 2014

“That morning in New York changed every thing. The oceans...

“That morning in New York changed every thing. The oceans had failed to protect us.” —Stevie Nicks/Thanksgiving 2004 rockalittle.com/...
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Sep 29, 2014

A Stevie Nicks Thanksgiving.

A Stevie Nicks Thanksgiving.
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Sep 29, 2014

Sure, absolutely. But Thanksgiving with the Cash's would...

@sarapekow Sure, absolutely. But Thanksgiving with the Cash's would cut to the chase, like, I am thankful for [looks around] this, basically
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Sep 29, 2014

I mean let's be totally clear here, the best Thanksgiving...

I mean let's be totally clear here, the best Thanksgiving possible would have been with Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash.
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Sep 29, 2014

literally just made a fist and punched the air while nodding

@dumbstupidhead @torrez literally just made a fist and punched the air while nodding
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Sep 29, 2014

oh yeah it would be like a peak life experience but you'd...

@RachelRockaway oh yeah it would be like a peak life experience but you'd need two weeks just to come down
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Sep 29, 2014

Oh totally Judds. I think Beyoncé Thanksgiving would be...

@RachelRockaway Oh totally Judds. I think Beyoncé Thanksgiving would be stressful, like I'd be ashamed of my sweater.
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Sep 29, 2014

tom waits is a strong contender

@dan_munz @torrez tom waits is a strong contender
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Sep 29, 2014

how often do you think someone says “i can't go for that”...

@torrez how often do you think someone says “i can't go for that” when offered candied yams
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Sep 29, 2014

OMG Alice Cooper Thanksgiving would be tops.

@IntrovertAC OMG Alice Cooper Thanksgiving would be tops.
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Sep 29, 2014

A Tina Turner Thanksgiving would be pretty magical IMO. I...

A Tina Turner Thanksgiving would be pretty magical IMO. I don't know why. Like really great place settings and ceramic-handled forks.
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Sep 29, 2014

sigh. i'm going to keep plowing through. it's a slog.

@fcheslack sigh. i'm going to keep plowing through. it's a slog.
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Sep 29, 2014

Which musician do you think has the best Thanksgivings? I'm...

Which musician do you think has the best Thanksgivings? I'm torn between Bonnie Raitt, Daryl Hall, and Tina Turner.
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Sep 29, 2014

I'm terrible at math but really like learning about file...

@sharonw I'm terrible at math but really like learning about file formats and data structures so I'm basically a disaster.
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Sep 29, 2014

It's BRUTAL, it's this internally consistent system of...

@sharonw It's BRUTAL, it's this internally consistent system of expression using a language that appears English-like, but far more formal.
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Sep 29, 2014

she would spend like 14 hours on a single exercise is what...

@merveille she would spend like 14 hours on a single exercise is what alyssa would do my god
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Sep 29, 2014

nicely done chris

@axlotl nicely done chris
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Sep 29, 2014

which omg fair, i'm almost done with chapter two and it's...

which omg fair, i'm almost done with chapter two and it's been maybe six years
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Sep 29, 2014

but like i'm working through sicp and it's so clear that...

but like i'm working through sicp and it's so clear that basically half the tech industry is based on people avoiding this book
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Sep 29, 2014

that book was ridiculous i'm just drawing a comparison

that book was ridiculous i'm just drawing a comparison
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Sep 29, 2014

programming is like the alchemist in that you travel around...

programming is like the alchemist in that you travel around the world listening to people's weird ideas and it was all just data after all
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Sep 29, 2014

BF has pretty good cms tooling actually, pretty admirable...

@patbits @tcarmody @ceodonovan BF has pretty good cms tooling actually, pretty admirable work
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Sep 29, 2014

it's a sort of quasi-cms that i need to actually finish so...

@ceodonovan @tcarmody it's a sort of quasi-cms that i need to actually finish so that i know what it wants to be
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Sep 29, 2014

i demoed it at XOXO but it's not public yet

@tcarmody @ceodonovan i demoed it at XOXO but it's not public yet
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Sep 29, 2014

also now that i have a content platform to launch i'm...

@tcarmody @ceodonovan also now that i have a content platform to launch i'm bracing myself for some well-deserved mockery
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Sep 29, 2014

i probably do need to modulate my tone a little so that i...

@tcarmody @ceodonovan i probably do need to modulate my tone a little so that i can start preparing a return to slacks and blazer in 6-18 mo
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Sep 29, 2014

i have tremendous empathy for ambitious people who want to...

@tcarmody @ceodonovan i have tremendous empathy for ambitious people who want to do new things, but an irrepressible urge to tease
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Sep 29, 2014

i feel that my twitter account doesn't communicate how...

@ceodonovan i feel that my twitter account doesn't communicate how exceptionally well i perform in large corporate media organizations
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Sep 29, 2014

yah but also who uses lists

@rustyk5 yah but also who uses lists
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Sep 29, 2014

God save us from ironic scientists.

God save us from ironic scientists.
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Sep 29, 2014

“I'm worried the world will end because I miscalculated...

“I'm worried the world will end because I miscalculated something.” “Sure but if you take the long view you actually don't have a problem.”
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Sep 29, 2014

Hamming worried he'd doomed earth. He told a friend, who...

Hamming worried he'd doomed earth. He told a friend, who replied: “Never mind, Hamming, no one will ever blame you.” en.wikipedia.org/...
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Sep 29, 2014

tell that to those two skeletons holding hands

@leahfinnegan tell that to those two skeletons holding hands
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Sep 29, 2014

listening to old radio and walking in the woods

@leahfinnegan listening to old radio and walking in the woods
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Sep 29, 2014

how did u spend your childhood

@leahfinnegan how did u spend your childhood
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Sep 29, 2014

i didn't ask how you spent your childhood leah

@leahfinnegan i didn't ask how you spent your childhood leah
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Sep 29, 2014

i love reading books by dead people because there's no...

i love reading books by dead people because there's no chance i'll meet them
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Sep 29, 2014

the marker font

@patbits the

marker

font
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Sep 29, 2014

maybe the worst tweet in history

@harrisj @rustyk5 maybe the worst tweet in history
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Sep 29, 2014

so many deadlines

@patbits so many deadlines
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Sep 29, 2014

i own this shirt i like it http://api.ning.com/files/LQ1B971...

@rustyk5 i own this shirt i like it api.ning.com/... ironically it's too small tho
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Sep 29, 2014

s/that/what/;

@rustyk5 s/that/what/;
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Sep 29, 2014

It's the perfect quiet nod slogan for the crabby godless...

@rustyk5 It's the perfect quiet nod slogan for the crabby godless people who could give a shit that other people believe
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Sep 29, 2014

Never Dream is NOT YET a T-shirt.

@rustyk5 Never Dream is NOT YET a T-shirt.
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Sep 29, 2014

i mean it's just folly all the way down

@chrismohney i mean it's just folly all the way down
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Sep 29, 2014

i mean i'm in my condo with coffee cheerfully noticing the...

@chrismohney i mean i'm in my condo with coffee cheerfully noticing the layers of my own hypocrisy or as I like to call it MONDAYS
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Sep 29, 2014

The system works, he tweeted from his MacBook Pro with...

The system works, he tweeted from his MacBook Pro with retina display.
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Sep 29, 2014

“We are giving you a loan to buy the broom that you will...

“We are giving you a loan to buy the broom that you will use to sweep up our poop.” —People to other people
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Sep 29, 2014

And that's just the US lie; some places tell you that if...

And that's just the US lie; some places tell you that if you work hard some day you will be able to pay them back for your poop broom.
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Sep 29, 2014

I mean the actual worst lie anyone told about working is...

I mean the actual worst lie anyone told about working is that people who work hard can get a fair wage and get ahead and keep their limbs.
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Sep 29, 2014

true! maybe because then it's contingent on the work you...

@lamech true! maybe because then it's contingent on the work you did, rather than just the status you achieved.
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Sep 29, 2014

happens to us all, william

@uiwill happens to us all, william
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Sep 29, 2014

My arsenic anniversary.

@harrisj My arsenic anniversary.
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Sep 29, 2014

If you want to find a miserable person who feels like a...

If you want to find a miserable person who feels like a hypocrite, find someone who started their dream job six months ago.
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Sep 29, 2014

“Dream jobs” are the worst lie anyone ever told about...

“Dream jobs” are the worst lie anyone ever told about working.
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Sep 29, 2014

Unless you work for the Magazine; then you can never forget...

@losowsky @leahfinnegan Unless you work for the Magazine; then you can never forget the New Yorker.
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Sep 29, 2014

It's very explicit about its own position and Times people...

@losowsky @leahfinnegan It's very explicit about its own position and Times people are basically free to forget non-Times realities.
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Sep 29, 2014

the archive is the american folk art museum

@leahfinnegan the archive is the american folk art museum
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Sep 29, 2014

It's all of them; the Times is just better at it.

@losowsky @leahfinnegan It's all of them; the Times is just better at it.
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Sep 29, 2014

ulgh if i could give in to my hack self there'd be 2000...

@leahfinnegan ulgh if i could give in to my hack self there'd be 2000 words right there instead of a tossed-off parenthetical gloss
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Sep 29, 2014

I try to come up with the most expensive piece of real...

@leahfinnegan I try to come up with the most expensive piece of real estate in NYC, is it CPW or A1? Both are valuable for the same reasons.
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Sep 29, 2014

hahah i know you do. it's fun to watch people figure it out...

@leahfinnegan hahah i know you do. it's fun to watch people figure it out just through deduction though.
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Sep 29, 2014

The idea being, institutional change is really hard to...

@leahfinnegan The idea being, institutional change is really hard to effect through design alone.
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Sep 29, 2014

It's in the context of, how many people see this tiny box...

@leahfinnegan It's in the context of, how many people see this tiny box as THEIR territory? We just deduce it. Sometimes it's 30 or 40.
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Sep 29, 2014

Oh you'd be a great guest lecturer I'll bring you in. It's...

@leahfinnegan Oh you'd be a great guest lecturer I'll bring you in. It's not until March.
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Sep 29, 2014

i'll just read it out loud at the beginning of class...

@leahfinnegan i'll just read it out loud at the beginning of class (they're designers)
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Sep 29, 2014

I get my design students to deconstruct the Times home page...

@leahfinnegan I get my design students to deconstruct the Times home page every year and think about power and this is so perfect.
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Sep 28, 2014

and also the music is too loud and teens don't respect...

and also the music is too loud and teens don't respect anyone and the interfaces use too many modals
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Sep 28, 2014

his students are going to be totally into it because when...

@bn2b his students are going to be totally into it because when you are 19 living in a dumpster with your girlfriend is cool
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Sep 28, 2014

yeah i mean this is what it's all about for me, the very...

@bn2b yeah i mean this is what it's all about for me, the very best
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Sep 28, 2014

anyway once there was power to be gained it all devolved...

anyway once there was power to be gained it all devolved into exhausting points-scoring instead of people just working their ideas out
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Sep 28, 2014

i just love something about this story, like it's just so...

@bn2b i just love something about this story, like it's just so amazing on so many levels
➛
Sep 28, 2014

just like an honest blog post about being a wheelchair...

just like an honest blog post about being a wheelchair dancer and being worn out on other dancers and how sick you were of stairs
➛
Sep 28, 2014

that was the greatest thing about the web, you could read...

that was the greatest thing about the web, you could read these things written by wheelchair dancers that weren't inspirational at all
➛
Sep 28, 2014

it's the glasses i'm actually crying a little

@bn2b it's the glasses i'm actually crying a little
➛
Sep 28, 2014

this is perfect

@bn2b this is perfect
➛
Sep 28, 2014

and ladies, these contours aren't going to trace themselves

and ladies, these contours aren't going to trace themselves
➛
Sep 28, 2014

dude personal essays tend to be about learning to cook and...

dude personal essays tend to be about learning to cook and listen, while lady personal essays are often about men (the ones they publish)
➛
Sep 28, 2014

to be honest i have not done a breakdown of contour tracing...

to be honest i have not done a breakdown of contour tracing by gender, you really never know
➛
Sep 28, 2014

you know at some level the mom has to be used to it

@bn2b you know at some level the mom has to be used to it
➛
Sep 28, 2014

maybe they could limn his angles or outline his carriage?

@mariabustillos maybe they could limn his angles or outline his carriage?
➛
Sep 28, 2014

see that's now how I want to remember him

@egabbert see that's now how I want to remember him
➛
Sep 28, 2014

val kilmer, they move the dumpster, the dean is so confused

@bn2b val kilmer, they move the dumpster, the dean is so confused
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Dean Dumpster actually

@bn2b Dean Dumpster actually
➛
Sep 28, 2014

but this is all pussyfooting because the primary offender...

but this is all pussyfooting because the primary offender is the Times, with 214 masculine contours query.nytimes.com/...
➛
Sep 28, 2014

its just this pattern that got stuck in my brain

@honatwork its just this pattern that got stuck in my brain
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Apparently men have a lot of contours? IDK.

Apparently men have a lot of contours? IDK.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

“Tracing contours” is something women do to men in bed in...

“Tracing contours” is something women do to men in bed in personal essays a lot.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Banging in a dumpster is literally banging is one thing I...

Banging in a dumpster is literally banging is one thing I learned
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Lotta voices in dumpsters these days

Lotta voices in dumpsters these days
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Dumpster guy's girlfriend speaks...

Dumpster guy's girlfriend speaks salon.com/...
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Free Software means we ALL share the blame.

Free Software means we ALL share the blame.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

“‘YOU EXIST ONLY TO REDUCE OVERTIME.’”...

“‘YOU EXIST ONLY TO REDUCE OVERTIME.’” themorningnews.org/...
➛
Sep 28, 2014

That might just be web though.

That might just be web though.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

I say “every now and then” because they're not expected to...

I say “every now and then” because they're not expected to use the bathroom more than once a month when their NutriPax™ are replaced.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

I wonder if every now and then New Yorker writers or...

I wonder if every now and then New Yorker writers or editors get the urge to tweet: “Poöping.”
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Clojure and clojurescript

@bn2b Clojure and clojurescript
➛
Sep 28, 2014

I have personally found that LISP is unbelievably...

I have personally found that LISP is unbelievably productive if you're willing to invest in the 600-month learning curve.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

i'm going to listen to shake it off one more time and then...

i'm going to listen to shake it off one more time and then go for a bike ride to the triborough bridge is a thought i had as a grown man
➛
Sep 28, 2014

i didn't invest in money guns just so people could sit...

@patbits @Heather_R i didn't invest in money guns just so people could sit around and shoot money out of guns all day
➛
Sep 28, 2014

yes, BUT--after investing in a number of money gun startups...

@patbits @Heather_R yes, BUT--after investing in a number of money gun startups i'm finding that they keep shooting money out of guns
➛
Sep 28, 2014

i honestly can't tell which was first but i'm glad to see...

@Heather_R i honestly can't tell which was first but i'm glad to see this space heat up
➛
Sep 28, 2014

The fact that there is already a Cash Cannon...

The fact that there is already a Cash Cannon thecashcannon.com only makes this a more honest story about the USA.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

this just makes the money gun more american

@Heather_R this just makes the money gun more american
➛
Sep 28, 2014

this is your WHOLE THING

this is your WHOLE THING
➛
Sep 28, 2014

usually i am powerfully against directly addressing...

usually i am powerfully against directly addressing america, but america it is a GUN that shoots MONEY
➛
Sep 28, 2014

how has this not been funded america...

how has this not been funded america kickstarter.com/...
➛
Sep 28, 2014

Nothing ruins a social network like people.

Nothing ruins a social network like people.
➛
Sep 28, 2014

“‘That was my first bootleg moment.’”...

“‘That was my first bootleg moment.’” nytimes.com/...
➛
Sep 27, 2014

While my instinct is to join in mocking you, mice are...

@shani_o While my instinct is to join in mocking you, mice are actually kind of depressing and mess with your head a little, so: Sympathy.
➛
Sep 27, 2014

we'd never met and he was like hey random buddy here's a...

@anotherny @monteiro @waxpancake we'd never met and he was like hey random buddy here's a t-shirt, and i went, oh, i have something for YOU
➛
Sep 27, 2014

frank didn't mean to be rude it's just some aries of...

@monteiro @anotherny @waxpancake frank didn't mean to be rude it's just some aries of discussion are off-limits
➛
Sep 27, 2014

Someone FINALLY figured out how to add ram to their macbook...

Someone FINALLY figured out how to add ram to their macbook twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 27, 2014

adding goats to a tweet creates fetadata

@anotherny @waxpancake adding goats to a tweet creates fetadata
➛
Sep 27, 2014

does your mac run faster with more ram?

@waxpancake does your mac run faster with more ram?
➛
Sep 27, 2014

A little easter egg in that “Trains for Children: Steam...

A little easter egg in that “Trains for Children: Steam Trains” YouTube video the kids asked to watch this morning. twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 27, 2014

I agree because it actually set itself up to be ridiculous...

@jackrusher I agree because it actually set itself up to be ridiculous (giant tree! Raccoon!) but then it felt like they went oh right $$$
➛
Sep 27, 2014

annnnyway that movie also starred a racoon so

annnnyway that movie also starred a racoon so
➛
Sep 27, 2014

i'm sorry brad. i'm sorry you felt that way.

@bradchoate i'm sorry brad. i'm sorry you felt that way.
➛
Sep 27, 2014

i think the giant air/spaceships crashing at the end of...

i think the giant air/spaceships crashing at the end of every marvel movie are symbols for the death of cinematic creativity
➛
Sep 27, 2014

I just wish they'd done more with him being a tree, like...

@goldman I just wish they'd done more with him being a tree, like puns about roots and turning over a new leaf. Or birds nesting.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

yeah but that at least would have allowed me to explore a...

@patbits yeah but that at least would have allowed me to explore a character and think about how actions have consequences
➛
Sep 26, 2014

but avengers, capt america II, guardians all end on "giant...

but avengers, capt america II, guardians all end on "giant aircraft that must be crashed"
➛
Sep 26, 2014

also their spaceships are LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME and have no...

also their spaceships are LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME and have no personality
➛
Sep 26, 2014

one thing that is that marvel just constantly goes back to...

one thing that is that marvel just constantly goes back to "gigantic skyborne crafts crashing into a population" for its boss battles
➛
Sep 26, 2014

i went and saw guardians of the galaxy since i was already...

i went and saw guardians of the galaxy since i was already on the upper west side so things can't get worse
➛
Sep 26, 2014

I don't mean to be rude but that dog was most definitely...

I don't mean to be rude but that dog was most definitely not coming from the spa.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

Here on the Upper West Side a woman with a dog just asked a...

Here on the Upper West Side a woman with a dog just asked a man of his own dog, “was he over at the spa?”
➛
Sep 26, 2014

just ended

@bn2b just ended
➛
Sep 26, 2014

Wisconsin Public Radio callers strongly pro politeness

Wisconsin Public Radio callers strongly pro politeness
➛
Sep 26, 2014

it's a process, Gordon. A long-running process.

@GordonChaffin it's a process, Gordon. A long-running process.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

All I am saying is fix the app store review process within...

All I am saying is fix the app store review process within yourself before you try to fix the app store review process in the app store.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

Is it the app store review process that is broken? Or...

Is it the app store review process that is broken? Or maybe—maybe—we are the problem.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

wake up in the mornin feelin like well anyway have a great...

@phillydesign wake up in the mornin feelin like well anyway have a great weekend
➛
Sep 26, 2014

you know a memorable song is tik tok

@phillydesign you know a memorable song is tik tok
➛
Sep 26, 2014

Frankly I think levels are due for a comeback.

Frankly I think levels are due for a comeback.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

I actually said that over coffee so ↬ me and coffee and the...

I actually said that over coffee so ↬ me and coffee and the person with whom I had coffee.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

Or a Wisconsin person.

Or a Wisconsin person.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

I'm here to talk with a Wisconsin public radio show about...

I'm here to talk with a Wisconsin public radio show about politeness which is like talking to a French person about cheese.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

No one should have to insure their beard.

No one should have to insure their beard.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

I just went straight from Williamsburg to the UWS and I...

I just went straight from Williamsburg to the UWS and I know levels aren't fashionable but my levels.
➛
Sep 26, 2014

whoa it turned out these were the code words to activate...

@nk @goldman whoa it turned out these were the code words to activate nick
➛
Sep 26, 2014

but they felt like realities which is why actually...

@goldman but they felt like realities which is why actually seriously i just kind of like computers why does this keep happening
➛
Sep 26, 2014

"Problematic" whines; it does not act. It takes baths....

"Problematic" whines; it does not act. It takes baths. theawl.com/...
➛
Sep 26, 2014

too bad the whole internet died in 2008

@goldman too bad the whole internet died in 2008
➛
Sep 26, 2014

one slide is just DEATH SPIRAL and a spiral and a skull

@goldman one slide is just DEATH SPIRAL and a spiral and a skull
➛
Sep 25, 2014

me too! I've been writing lots of Clojure so it makes sense...

@mcguirejpatrick me too! I've been writing lots of Clojure so it makes sense thus go around.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

Choosing between another chapter of SICP, another episode...

Choosing between another chapter of SICP, another episode of the Roosevelts, or just chilling with a Danny Kaye album. Ladies.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

upload my avatar how can I upload a new avatar when ♫i...

upload my avatar how can I upload a new avatar when ♫i cover the waterfront♫
➛
Sep 25, 2014

something about the launch of a new social network just...

something about the launch of a new social network just makes me want to drink a fresca and listen to the ink spots.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

I smile down to my phone which is how I say hello

@bffmike I smile down to my phone which is how I say hello
➛
Sep 25, 2014

Slowly and not without melancholy I nestle these shoulders...

Slowly and not without melancholy I nestle these shoulders into their accustomed blazer and pad to the elevators alone.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

In the old days you could do both.

In the old days you could do both.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

Like I could write this essay, sure, or I could give...

Like I could write this essay, sure, or I could give hundreds of people a memory of a giant naked fleshy man running from security.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

I am at this very fancy magazine and my escort has left me...

I am at this very fancy magazine and my escort has left me alone and my teenaged self is telling me about all these things I could do.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

there is much to be said for a blinking cursor ready on boot

@jackrusher there is much to be said for a blinking cursor ready on boot
➛
Sep 25, 2014

Whereas I see way too much evidence of George Will.

Whereas I see way too much evidence of George Will.
➛
Sep 25, 2014

“I see no evidence of God.” —George Will...

“I see no evidence of God.” —George Will realclearreligion.org/...
➛
Sep 24, 2014

cooool where r u

@patbits cooool where r u
➛
Sep 24, 2014

it's too real kelly it's too real

@ki_dotcom it's too real kelly it's too real
➛
Sep 24, 2014

and when i went out to coffee with the editor to apologize...

and when i went out to coffee with the editor to apologize for my microaggression we'd both drink espresso
➛
Sep 24, 2014

or singing to dudes in jail he was amazing at that

@bn2b or singing to dudes in jail he was amazing at that
➛
Sep 24, 2014

and then instead of being angry about the DMed rejection i...

and then instead of being angry about the DMed rejection i could become microaggressive
➛
Sep 24, 2014

and instead of emailing a rejection they could send me a DM

and instead of emailing a rejection they could send me a DM
➛
Sep 24, 2014

i mean yeah it's sort of an autoforgive with him because he...

@bn2b i mean yeah it's sort of an autoforgive with him because he was america's surrogate messed-up dad
➛
Sep 24, 2014

then after i did my model train amtrak residency i could...

then after i did my model train amtrak residency i could submit my manuscript to the new york times magazine one-page magazine
➛
Sep 24, 2014

what if i got really into model trains just so i could have...

what if i got really into model trains just so i could have a really tiny amtrak residency
➛
Sep 24, 2014

it's tricky because anything with a beatle is de facto...

@bn2b it's tricky because anything with a beatle is de facto enormous. i think the highwaymen were better as a group tho.
➛
Sep 24, 2014

oh man frank yes that is a PERFECT music video

@anotherny oh man frank yes that is a PERFECT music video
➛
Sep 24, 2014

that's been true for 20 years

@leahfinnegan that's been true for 20 years
➛
Sep 24, 2014

it's not on spotify frank i'm facing a serious dilemma

@anotherny it's not on spotify frank i'm facing a serious dilemma
➛
Sep 24, 2014

actually i have no idea do people still have hobbies or do...

actually i have no idea do people still have hobbies or do they just fuck
➛
Sep 24, 2014

sometimes i realize that my hobbies are, like, tweeting...

sometimes i realize that my hobbies are, like, tweeting about wilburys, and thank sbj that i don't have to fill out a tinder profile
➛
Sep 24, 2014

SIMULTANEOUSLY leaning back-to-back with someone while both...

@gracedent SIMULTANEOUSLY leaning back-to-back with someone while both looking at the camera smiling, it's a TON of work.
➛
Sep 24, 2014

steve winwood too i bet

@mvsyyz steve winwood too i bet
➛
Sep 24, 2014

supergroup criteria are pretty interesting, like (1) owns...

supergroup criteria are pretty interesting, like (1) owns one or more vests; (2) ????; (3) probably not a drummer
➛
Sep 24, 2014

right he would have been a pretty natural wilbury and it...

@robdubbin right he would have been a pretty natural wilbury and it makes you wonder what where the wilbury criteria
➛
Sep 24, 2014

i kind of wonder if don mcclean was ever on the secret list...

i kind of wonder if don mcclean was ever on the secret list of potential wilburys, like who nearly got in, and if that list is real
➛
Sep 24, 2014

yeah i know it's just the difference between crying and mr...

@torrez yeah i know it's just the difference between crying and mr blue sky
➛
Sep 24, 2014

omg i want a cigarette at a train station in light rain so...

@hllwd omg i want a cigarette at a train station in light rain so bad after hearing that
➛
Sep 24, 2014

andre are you totally 100% sure you're not a tom?

@torrez andre are you totally 100% sure you're not a tom?
➛
Sep 24, 2014

i mean we're all jeffs who want to be roys

@anotherny i mean we're all jeffs who want to be roys
➛
Sep 24, 2014

oh frank i don't know what to say

@anotherny oh frank i don't know what to say
➛
Sep 24, 2014

I think I might be the session drummer.

@torrez I think I might be the session drummer.
➛
Sep 24, 2014

there is, afaict, no “which wilbury are you” quiz on the...

there is, afaict, no “which wilbury are you” quiz on the internet
➛
Sep 24, 2014

man this is some all-caps ENTERTAINMENT right here...

man this is some all-caps ENTERTAINMENT right here youtube.com/...
➛
Sep 24, 2014

what if, inside, there's a squirrel, but it's actually...

@goldman what if, inside, there's a squirrel, but it's actually screaming in that exact pose? also, happy birthday.
➛
Sep 24, 2014

javafx. Now there is a name I have not heard in a long,...

@jackrusher javafx. Now there is a name I have not heard in a long, long time.
➛
Sep 24, 2014

I woke up and thought of the perfect title for an article...

I woke up and thought of the perfect title for an article about Tom Perkins comparing tech protesters to Nazis, it was “Denture Capitalist.”
➛
Sep 24, 2014

god it's going to be awkward when all those bitcoin...

god it's going to be awkward when all those bitcoin startups ship
➛
Sep 24, 2014

are they still called capncash?

@capndesign are they still called capncash?
➛
Sep 24, 2014

even better I won't pay yoi

@capndesign even better I won't pay yoi
➛
Sep 24, 2014

great you are hired

@capndesign great you are hired
➛
Sep 24, 2014

mandy i love it tho it's the one thing i always wanted no...

@aworkinglibrary

mandy

i love it tho
it's the one thing i always wanted

no one else will probably

it's okay
➛
Sep 24, 2014

sharp metal gristle and window glass

@knowtheory sharp metal gristle and window glass
➛
Sep 24, 2014

“oh huh i guess i might want to cut and paste two sentences...

“oh huh i guess i might want to cut and paste two sentences sometimes instead of just one sentence” —me this morning
➛
Sep 24, 2014

i am using my own cms to do all my own writing now and in...

i am using my own cms to do all my own writing now and in conclusion i am not the world's best software developer
➛
Sep 24, 2014

it was really fun in spots though let's always remember...

@lauraolin @D5AA96 it was really fun in spots though let's always remember will you sign my twearbook
➛
Sep 24, 2014

guys "social media" is increasingly become 4-10 person...

@D5AA96 @lauraolin guys "social media" is increasingly become 4-10 person slack chats for me maybe this is over
➛
Sep 24, 2014

in retrospect encyclopedia dramatica was a useful, balanced...

in retrospect encyclopedia dramatica was a useful, balanced resource
➛
Sep 24, 2014

i just booted up my baudrillard simulator and it won't run...

i just booted up my baudrillard simulator and it won't run on OSX [sticker falls off it's just racter]
➛
Sep 24, 2014

so you need celebrity woman to get the press to notice...

so you need celebrity woman to get the press to notice feminism and a social media firm to pretend to be 4chan for reasons cool civilization
➛
Sep 24, 2014

aaaand yep it WAS planned good job social media firm you...

aaaand yep it WAS planned good job social media firm you successfully drew attention away from women's issues to your viral hoax
➛
Sep 24, 2014

mashable is okay but CNN worries me

@lauraolin mashable is okay but CNN worries me
➛
Sep 24, 2014

It's such a perfect failed counterargument that you have to...

It's such a perfect failed counterargument that you have to wonder if it was planned to look that bad #gameghazi
➛
Sep 24, 2014

Could there be a worse counter-argument to “we need global...

Could there be a worse counter-argument to “we need global feminism” than “I will release your nudes”? It's like, the Godiva Fallacy.
➛
Sep 23, 2014

i can't believe how connected these people at this...

@rustyk5 i can't believe how connected these people at this conference about using networks to connect to one another are
➛
Sep 23, 2014

nah just life in general

@zfurnas nah just life in general
➛
Sep 23, 2014

Cutting pasting that's all you ever seem to doooooo.

Cutting pasting that's all you ever seem to doooooo.
➛
Sep 23, 2014

this goes deep this goes all the way back to liberal arts...

@rustyk5 this goes deep this goes all the way back to liberal arts colleges in the 90s
➛
Sep 23, 2014

Honestly I think someone should invest...

Honestly I think someone should invest theawl.com/...
➛
Sep 23, 2014

“Our inquiries…about raising the maximum rate limit for...

“Our inquiries…about raising the maximum rate limit for sending Yos by 270,409,581% were not acknowledged.” theawl.com/...
➛
Sep 23, 2014

“A Yo-based audio encoder would largely just re-implement...

“A Yo-based audio encoder would largely just re-implement DSD using the app's notification system.” theawl.com/...
➛
Sep 23, 2014

politeness is overrated

@shani_o politeness is overrated
➛
Sep 23, 2014

yeah great choice those are so good at escaping sharks

@phooky yeah great choice those are so good at escaping sharks
➛
Sep 23, 2014

u wanna just meet at the A&F at the seaport?

@leahfinnegan u wanna just meet at the A&F at the seaport?
➛
Sep 23, 2014

I want to drain its blood and feed it to Norse Hatchback...

@leahfinnegan I want to drain its blood and feed it to Norse Hatchback Sea Squirrels.
➛
Sep 23, 2014

I don't write for money, or to feel kindness or hope. I do...

I don't write for money, or to feel kindness or hope. I do write for sea squirrels. If you have access to an infant, please let me know.
➛
Sep 23, 2014

We need to work together to provide the sea squirrels with...

We need to work together to provide the sea squirrels with their preferred food, human infant blood dumped overboard ten gallons at once.
➛
Sep 23, 2014

Only 30,000 sea squirrels of any type remain alive, and the...

Only 30,000 sea squirrels of any type remain alive, and the National Oceanic Council recently ranked the Norse Hatchback as “forget it.”
➛
Sep 23, 2014

Yes, my piece on “The Perfect Writer” is hilarious, but I...

Yes, my piece on “The Perfect Writer” is hilarious, but I wrote it to make a serious point: The Norse Hatchback Sea Squirrel is endangered.
➛
Sep 23, 2014

yes it's a service that provides emotional support for...

@randlechris @slowdecade @jordanginsberg yes it's a service that provides emotional support for people who raise service animals
➛
Sep 23, 2014

[Note especially Quinn's comment at the end for that extra...

@quinnnorton [Note especially Quinn's comment at the end for that extra gut punch, younguns.]
➛
Sep 23, 2014

“The perfect writer is morally upright in every regard, and...

“The perfect writer is morally upright in every regard, and never stuffy.” —@ftrain medium.com/...
➛
Sep 23, 2014

please put feature requests in jira and we'll discuss it at...

@anildash @jwherrman @leahfinnegan please put feature requests in jira and we'll discuss it at the next scrum
➛
Sep 23, 2014

archaeology repeats itself huh

@leahfinnegan archaeology repeats itself huh
➛
Sep 22, 2014

sure that's the semantic web article from SciAm by...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @kiphampton @emckean sure that's the semantic web article from SciAm by Berners-Lee, Hendler, and Lassila
➛
Sep 22, 2014

that was a weird fantasy that everything would talk to...

@harrisj @kiphampton @rustyk5 @emckean that was a weird fantasy that everything would talk to everything else about anything any time
➛
Sep 22, 2014

sure it can get lonely being so far ahead of the curve that...

@harrisj @emckean @rustyk5 sure it can get lonely being so far ahead of the curve that bezier handles don't work
➛
Sep 22, 2014

i mean i think my contribution is comparable

@emckean @harrisj @rustyk5 i mean i think my contribution is comparable
➛
Sep 22, 2014

(I know it was 900 pages because I photocopied them all to...

@emckean @harrisj @rustyk5 (I know it was 900 pages because I photocopied them all to save the $80).
➛
Sep 22, 2014

I think you just show the number of times it gets...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @emckean I think you just show the number of times it gets reinvented, culminating in this IBM atrocity.
➛
Sep 22, 2014

sorry it got too rough for you in downtown markup city....

@rustyk5 @emckean @harrisj sorry it got too rough for you in downtown markup city. maybe go back to tinylettertown and drink some champale.
➛
Sep 22, 2014

Oh Ed, YOU REMEMBER. You remember very well.

@edsu Oh Ed, YOU REMEMBER. You remember very well.
➛
Sep 22, 2014

that led to the big JSON reaction. (But also: eventually...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @emckean that led to the big JSON reaction. (But also: eventually everything converges on LISP.)
➛
Sep 22, 2014

XML had a lot of inherited warts but it was a good...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @emckean XML had a lot of inherited warts but it was a good compromise with a BRIEF spec. It was the enterprise pile-on
➛
Sep 22, 2014

right because you needed totally meaningless identifiers to...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @emckean right because you needed totally meaningless identifiers to identify the namespace of your semantic markup
➛
Sep 22, 2014

I mean yeah yeah JSON is great and all but does it offer...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @emckean I mean yeah yeah JSON is great and all but does it offer attribute-level namespaces? Well? Does it?
➛
Sep 22, 2014

it means you are finally ready to be a community manager

@codinghorror it means you are finally ready to be a community manager
➛
Sep 22, 2014

As long as hate feels good we are okay.

As long as hate feels good we are okay.
➛
Sep 22, 2014

the only true slide in all of technology...

the only true slide in all of technology slideshare.net/...
➛
Sep 22, 2014

I pay for Gmail, and don't have any boundaries between my...

@mcwoods I pay for Gmail, and don't have any boundaries between my personal and professional life :/
➛
Sep 22, 2014

I'm pure Gmail.

@mcwoods I'm pure Gmail.
➛
Sep 22, 2014

Thanks for thinking of me! I'm not an Outlook user, so I'm...

@mcwoods Thanks for thinking of me! I'm not an Outlook user, so I'm a bad test subject.
➛
Sep 21, 2014

wow bookshelfsubtweet

@richziade wow bookshelfsubtweet
➛
Sep 20, 2014

i read the stanford notes and omg

@bn2b i read the stanford notes and omg
➛
Sep 20, 2014

a lot of arguments about type safety happen on systems...

a lot of arguments about type safety happen on systems powered by php and apache
➛
Sep 20, 2014

It starts, “I made a picture of a cat in a graphing...

It starts, “I made a picture of a cat in a graphing calculator!” and it ends “DID SOME ASSHOLE SAY ENDOFUNCTOR!?!?!?” But like, always.
➛
Sep 20, 2014

I feel that I should learn about type systems just so I can...

I feel that I should learn about type systems just so I can understand why everyone gets so angry about type systems news.ycombinator.com/...
➛
Sep 20, 2014

ulgh mom can u chill brad and me just came into the kitchen...

@katienotopoulos ulgh mom can u chill brad and me just came into the kitchen to get some sunny d
➛
Sep 20, 2014

what will be the #hashtags of 2016

what will be the #hashtags of 2016
➛
Sep 20, 2014

Omg don't use the tag # g a m e r g a te

Omg don't use the tag # g a m e r g a te
➛
Sep 20, 2014

[2020 commercial] “Me? I'm a Values Gamer. That's why Bobby...

[2020 commercial] “Me? I'm a Values Gamer. That's why Bobby Jindal is MY president.” —Guy who finished level 58 of Elf Banger: Awakenings.
➛
Sep 20, 2014

i wonder if where #gamergate ends is like a kind of...

i wonder if where #gamergate ends is like a kind of tea-party internet thing where they reach out to gamers about “traditional values”
➛
Sep 19, 2014

People getting angry about pumpkin spice act like it's...

People getting angry about pumpkin spice act like it's their ox that's being gourd.
➛
Sep 19, 2014

take two weekends and make it twice as good

@leahfinnegan take two weekends and make it twice as good
➛
Sep 19, 2014

anyway it's a solid pitch and I think it would work at...

@leahfinnegan anyway it's a solid pitch and I think it would work at 80,000 words
➛
Sep 19, 2014

and people think Harper's internships are easy!

@leahfinnegan and people think Harper's internships are easy!
➛
Sep 19, 2014

your chocolate lab runs up and you throw an old tennis ball...

@leahfinnegan your chocolate lab runs up and you throw an old tennis ball so far it almost reaches the fence of your front lawn
➛
Sep 19, 2014

My wife asked me to buy a candy thermometer and I noticed...

My wife asked me to buy a candy thermometer and I noticed that kitchenware stores are now the only place you hear “Brown-eyed Girl.”
➛
Sep 19, 2014

you know what seems really nice if you were rich is you...

@leahfinnegan you know what seems really nice if you were rich is you could wear really big sweaters and shorts
➛
Sep 19, 2014

“where the fuck you at?” translates to “where you at”

@leahfinnegan “where the fuck you at?” translates to “where you at”
➛
Sep 19, 2014

that list is highly suspect

@leahfinnegan that list is highly suspect
➛
Sep 19, 2014

thanks I would love a mars bar

@leahfinnegan thanks I would love a mars bar
➛
Sep 19, 2014

Isn't it possible Scotland said yes to independence but no...

Isn't it possible Scotland said yes to independence but no one understood it?
➛
Sep 19, 2014

the gelding part bummed me out

@timothymeaney the gelding part bummed me out
➛
Sep 18, 2014

i'm so good at panels I write down everyone's names ahead...

@goldman @Choire i'm so good at panels I write down everyone's names ahead of time
➛
Sep 18, 2014

Before Wrecking, a Checking

Before Wrecking, a Checking
➛
Sep 18, 2014

ummm this t-shirt is BEAUTIFUL https://www.kickstarter.com/p...

ummm this t-shirt is BEAUTIFUL kickstarter.com/...
➛
Sep 17, 2014

and it's like, huh! he might be right! and then you go but...

and it's like, huh! he might be right! and then you go but wait what's in the OTHER two quadrants?
➛
Sep 17, 2014

peter thiel's stuff is always "facebook is a company with...

peter thiel's stuff is always "facebook is a company with tremendous revenue potential while cannibalism involves people eating people."
➛
Sep 17, 2014

very good odds it's available

@sjttocs very good odds it's available
➛
Sep 17, 2014

i'm pretty sure i'm scottish my grandmother's last name was...

i'm pretty sure i'm scottish my grandmother's last name was burns and my grandfather was a wee sleekit mousie
➛
Sep 17, 2014

whoa dotscot is doing general launch on 23 September which...

whoa dotscot is doing general launch on 23 September which if independence is voted in will make it the canniest of all registrars too
➛
Sep 17, 2014

dotscot is a fantastic registrar name perhaps even the best

dotscot is a fantastic registrar name perhaps even the best
➛
Sep 17, 2014

here is the dotscot registrar for future .scot registering...

here is the dotscot registrar for future .scot registering needs dotscot.net
➛
Sep 17, 2014

wait then what kind of posturing DO you do

@leahfinnegan wait then what kind of posturing DO you do
➛
Sep 17, 2014

its partially cooled by the evaporation of his tears

@jstogdill its partially cooled by the evaporation of his tears
➛
Sep 17, 2014

i've seen a lot of it up close and whoooosh

@tcarmody @jessamyn i've seen a lot of it up close and whoooosh
➛
Sep 17, 2014

wait i thought your migraines were just a literary...

@leahfinnegan wait i thought your migraines were just a literary affectation
➛
Sep 17, 2014

like they reference the bachelor arms in the simpsons and...

@tcarmody @jessamyn like they reference the bachelor arms in the simpsons and kind of know they're about to slide into a year of oblivion
➛
Sep 17, 2014

it often seems divorced men are fully self aware through...

@tcarmody @jessamyn it often seems divorced men are fully self aware through that slide which makes it fascinating
➛
Sep 17, 2014

exactly what the drifter said

@leahfinnegan exactly what the drifter said
➛
Sep 17, 2014

i mean who can judge his actions aside from that it fits...

@tcarmody @jessamyn i mean who can judge his actions aside from that it fits the profile of every divorced dude in history ever? not me.
➛
Sep 17, 2014

no it's fine if she gets the house because i will literally...

@bn2b no it's fine if she gets the house because i will literally live in a garbage can
➛
Sep 17, 2014

leah the difference is he lives in a dumpster while you...

@leahfinnegan leah the difference is he lives in a dumpster while you created the perfect place for a drifter to overdose on phenobarbital
➛
Sep 17, 2014

this is some pretty advanced divorced dude living right...

this is some pretty advanced divorced dude living right here theatlantic.com/...
➛
Sep 17, 2014

make it into a little metal joel

@leahfinnegan make it into a little metal joel
➛
Sep 17, 2014

this is the lamest episode of true detective ever

@leahfinnegan this is the lamest episode of true detective ever
➛
Sep 17, 2014

because it looks like it should be paperclipped to a...

@leahfinnegan because it looks like it should be paperclipped to a forensics report
➛
Sep 17, 2014

i was trying to upload a picture and kinja failed but i...

@leahfinnegan i was trying to upload a picture and kinja failed but i tried again and it worked
➛
Sep 17, 2014

you would have just spent it on lottery tickets

@rustyk5 you would have just spent it on lottery tickets
➛
Sep 17, 2014

too soon to tell

@ienjoy too soon to tell
➛
Sep 17, 2014

is there an android version

@tonyhschu is there an android version
➛
Sep 17, 2014

remember when i built the time-driven notebook platform so...

@jenbee @anildash remember when i built the time-driven notebook platform so that i could write my book
➛
Sep 17, 2014

yeah same here with all the non-rusties in this canoe :/

@rustyk5 @_ @fascinated yeah same here with all the non-rusties in this canoe :/
➛
Sep 16, 2014

How sad that my next thought was: VOICE OVER: “We were...

@fascinated @rustyk5 How sad that my next thought was: VOICE OVER: “We were happy before the Blue Plague ravaged our coastal cities.”
➛
Sep 16, 2014

“Every day” (Rusty hugs his three children while they laugh...

@fascinated @rustyk5 “Every day” (Rusty hugs his three children while they laugh and smile) “is an ‘xoxofest‘ here in portland--MAINE!!!!!!”
➛
Sep 16, 2014

yeah i'm bracing for three. 2 year olds it's like, they...

@malthe @rustyk5 yeah i'm bracing for three. 2 year olds it's like, they can't help it. 3 year olds i've seen they can help it but pls go fu
➛
Sep 16, 2014

duuuuuuuuuuuude that is FANTASTIC

@capndesign duuuuuuuuuuuude that is FANTASTIC
➛
Sep 16, 2014

i came back from PDX and they were speaking in full...

@capndesign i came back from PDX and they were speaking in full sentences, it's pretty crazy
➛
Sep 16, 2014

you and your other person are champs man just keep going...

@J450NK @epistemographer you and your other person are champs man just keep going and we'll get coffee in 2018 when things settle
➛
Sep 16, 2014

okay so three is hard but 14 weeks was MUCH, MUCH HARDER

@J450NK @epistemographer okay so three is hard but 14 weeks was MUCH, MUCH HARDER
➛
Sep 16, 2014

our twins are now three, and, dude.

our twins are now three, and, dude.
➛
Sep 16, 2014

finn i need you to look at my back end

@finn finn i need you to look at my back end
➛
Sep 16, 2014

don't hurt me finn i'm very vulnerable

@finn don't hurt me finn i'm very vulnerable
➛
Sep 16, 2014

It finally happened this is not a drill this is a real url...

It finally happened this is not a drill this is a real url sociali.st
➛
Sep 16, 2014

i mean there is a precedent in film for using humans as an...

@dan_schmidt i mean there is a precedent in film for using humans as an energy source for a giant computing platform
➛
Sep 16, 2014

that leaves 99% for misandry tho

@leahfinnegan that leaves 99% for misandry tho
➛
Sep 16, 2014

i wonder what that number would be like once you factor in...

i wonder what that number would be like once you factor in google plus
➛
Sep 16, 2014

“Google search uses just about the same amount of energy...

“Google search uses just about the same amount of energy that your body burns in ten seconds.” googleblog.blogspot.com/...
➛
Sep 16, 2014

remember when everyone was like "one google search consumes...

remember when everyone was like "one google search consumes as much energy as driving an aircraft carrier to burning man" and we all zomged
➛
Sep 16, 2014

never enjoy, for your happiness will only fuel their...

never enjoy, for your happiness will only fuel their thinkpieces
➛
Sep 16, 2014

you all know how this goes. (1) we'll learn the bunny was...

you all know how this goes. (1) we'll learn the bunny was made by forced labor in a meme factory. (2) “exploitable: behind a bunny, pain”
➛
Sep 16, 2014

in the exact same tribe as the rest of us!

@dealingwith in the exact same tribe as the rest of us!
➛
Sep 16, 2014

cool band reference DAD

@al3x cool band reference DAD
➛
Sep 16, 2014

Joel what would your General Systems Vehicle be named take...

@zfurnas @rustyk5 @joeljohnson Joel what would your General Systems Vehicle be named take all the time you need.
➛
Sep 16, 2014

i can't hear you because the froth has spread to my ears

@jlax i can't hear you because the froth has spread to my ears
➛
Sep 16, 2014

in the future push notifications will...oculus rift...oh...

@tjl in the future push notifications will...oculus rift...oh god we're...
➛
Sep 16, 2014

jon srsly it's two meaningless words just jammed up...

@jlax jon srsly it's two meaningless words just jammed up together to make people feel better about investing in kontent khaos
➛
Sep 16, 2014

metaverticals are just...horizontals

metaverticals are just...horizontals
➛
Sep 16, 2014

there is no such thing as metaverticals stahp everyone has...

there is no such thing as metaverticals stahp everyone has to stahp
➛
Sep 16, 2014

Snackwave is the first trend I have ever been ahead of, in...

Snackwave is the first trend I have ever been ahead of, in my life.
➛
Sep 16, 2014

“Snackwave is seeping into culture through clothing.”...

“Snackwave is seeping into culture through clothing.” thehairpin.com/...
➛
Sep 16, 2014

I'm going to let a few people in within a couple weeks....

@spladow I'm going to let a few people in within a couple weeks. I'll send out emails. shoot me a line ford@ftrain.com.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

Great! What's a good email?

@rachelbinx Great! What's a good email?
➛
Sep 15, 2014

Thank you, Rachel! Sorry I didn't get to meet you.

@rachelbinx Thank you, Rachel! Sorry I didn't get to meet you.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

by dre, beats

@rustyk5 by dre, beats
➛
Sep 15, 2014

Thanks, Tom. I know the “they're too cool” feeling and deal...

@tomburns Thanks, Tom. I know the “they're too cool” feeling and deal with it constantly. That tribal anxiety is crazy-making.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

I'll get it up and running again and release it on GitHub....

@tomburns @stickwithjosh I'll get it up and running again and release it on GitHub. It's like one page of code, it's nothing.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

I got your manual right here

@joeharrod I got your manual right here
➛
Sep 15, 2014

Thank you, Glenn. Wish we'd caught up in person. Next time!

@GlennF Thank you, Glenn. Wish we'd caught up in person. Next time!
➛
Sep 15, 2014

It's a struggle sometimes.

It's a struggle sometimes.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

To the person managing her eating disorder—I really...

To the person managing her eating disorder—I really appreciated talking to you and feel like I cut you off. I wanted to listen. Sorry.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

Thank you, Michelle. It was great to meet you!

@michellej Thank you, Michelle. It was great to meet you!
➛
Sep 15, 2014

thank you, Chris! I appreciate it.

@chrishiggins thank you, Chris! I appreciate it.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

That doesn't always happen at conferences.

That doesn't always happen at conferences.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

Hey so before I went on stage at #xoxofest @waxpancake led...

Hey so before I went on stage at #xoxofest @waxpancake led me into a side room and gave me a long hug in silence. And then I was ready.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

so nice to meet you! Thank you for dinner.

@virginia @dan_schmidt so nice to meet you! Thank you for dinner.
➛
Sep 15, 2014

I cleared it up. They charged you. All fine.

@virginia @dan_schmidt I cleared it up. They charged you. All fine.
➛
Sep 13, 2014

in my hotel room trying to get ready for my talk tomorrow....

@rustyk5 @heyitsgarrett @knguyen in my hotel room trying to get ready for my talk tomorrow. i will emerge tomorrow?
➛
Sep 13, 2014

if you like stack-based programming languages and tiny art...

if you like stack-based programming languages and tiny art things this is a website for you forthsalon.appspot.com
➛
Sep 12, 2014

I never wanted to say this in my life but @anildash is a...

I never wanted to say this in my life but @anildash is a good DJ.
➛
Sep 12, 2014

karen your code of conduct is some next level shit

@karenmcgrane karen your code of conduct is some next level shit
➛
Sep 12, 2014

good tweet but could you please type more quietly

@harrisj good tweet but could you please type more quietly
➛
Sep 12, 2014

i bet more fun! or at least funnier.

@karenmcgrane i bet more fun! or at least funnier.
➛
Sep 12, 2014

god is there anything worse than the idea of an atheist...

god is there anything worse than the idea of an atheist convention #1hase9r" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.buzzfeed.com/markoppenheimer/will-misogyny-bring-down-the-atheist-movement#1hase9r (i am an atheist)
➛
Sep 12, 2014

anil mo bought me a purple shirt to wear just for tonight...

@maureenflaherty @anildash anil mo bought me a purple shirt to wear just for tonight not even kidding
➛
Sep 12, 2014

the problem isn't me. the problem is that things are too...

@jlax @anildash the problem isn't me. the problem is that things are too sunny.
➛
Sep 12, 2014

if you need someone to bully you about your $3 fluorescent...

if you need someone to bully you about your $3 fluorescent sunglasses @anildash is totally available
➛
Sep 12, 2014

i'll pick you up an application

@leahfinnegan i'll pick you up an application
➛
Sep 12, 2014

Yeah but do you really want to work with a bunch of cranky,...

@leahfinnegan Yeah but do you really want to work with a bunch of cranky, depressed 20-somethings who feel they can't work at any other job?
➛
Sep 12, 2014

i love portland coffee as much as i hope you love hearing...

i love portland coffee as much as i hope you love hearing me talk at a rate of six thousand words per minute
➛
Sep 12, 2014

oregon coffee is cool in that it makes you feel like you...

oregon coffee is cool in that it makes you feel like you are trapped in a chicken wire box and your skin is covered with screaming fire ants
➛
Sep 12, 2014

I always appreciate the opportunity to learn more about my...

@dntsqzthchrmn I always appreciate the opportunity to learn more about my earworms
➛
Sep 12, 2014

the only conclusion i can draw is that robyn is winning

the only conclusion i can draw is that robyn is winning
➛
Sep 12, 2014

i guess i should have just said “accented”

@dntsqzthchrmn i guess i should have just said “accented”
➛
Sep 12, 2014

CORRECTION Betty Who is Australian which is a “continent”...

CORRECTION Betty Who is Australian which is a “continent” that is not apparently in Europe
➛
Sep 12, 2014

how did that happen

how did that happen
➛
Sep 12, 2014

looking at Spotify I listen EXCLUSIVELY to well-produced...

looking at Spotify I listen EXCLUSIVELY to well-produced European women in their 20s: Betty Who, Christine and the Queens, and Mr Lil Jeans
➛
Sep 12, 2014

And welcome back to the other 364 days of screaming over...

And welcome back to the other 364 days of screaming over bullshit.
➛
Sep 11, 2014

you're perfectly fine as you are

@maureenflaherty you're perfectly fine as you are
➛
Sep 11, 2014

i'm at a hamfest trying to get a deal on a vintage...

@harrisj i'm at a hamfest trying to get a deal on a vintage oscillator can i call u back
➛
Sep 11, 2014

no it's a serious issue

@harrisj no it's a serious issue
➛
Sep 11, 2014

real 90s kids will remember https://twitter.com/ftrain/statu...

real 90s kids will remember twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 11, 2014

relax i'm VERY disappointing

@dhgwilliam relax i'm VERY disappointing
➛
Sep 11, 2014

often true!

@torrez often true!
➛
Sep 11, 2014

keeeeeeeep going :/

@joebe4rd keeeeeeeep going :/
➛
Sep 11, 2014

relax we're all disappointing in person

relax we're all disappointing in person
➛
Sep 11, 2014

you're right people did kind of read that one

@phildini @_ you're right people did kind of read that one
➛
Sep 11, 2014

no one reads the article

@phildini @_ no one reads the article
➛
Sep 11, 2014

thank you also the people are very nice

@susanjrobertson thank you also the people are very nice
➛
Sep 11, 2014

man portland is killing it in the department of handcrafted...

man portland is killing it in the department of handcrafted leather saddles
➛
Sep 11, 2014

oh god

@_ oh god
➛
Sep 11, 2014

kinja is so great for community

@leahfinnegan kinja is so great for community
➛
Sep 10, 2014

“The Guardian believes it will sponsor hundreds of events...

“The Guardian believes it will sponsor hundreds of events each week across Britain through the Guardian Live push.” niemanlab.org/...
➛
Sep 10, 2014

i was just glad to see so many women presenting on stage

@anildash @Heather_R i was just glad to see so many women presenting on stage
➛
Sep 9, 2014

“What is the purpose of a life?” I asked of the universe....

“What is the purpose of a life?” I asked of the universe. And the universe replied, “Closed as not constructive.”
➛
Sep 9, 2014

i love u2 but come on enough is enough

@bn2b i love u2 but come on enough is enough
➛
Sep 9, 2014

Okay @page88 I got all guilty so I put the kids to bed and...

Okay @page88 I got all guilty so I put the kids to bed and went and voted for @ZephyrTeachout like you told me to.
➛
Sep 9, 2014

Wait until you guys see Minecraft for .NET!

Wait until you guys see Minecraft for .NET!
➛
Sep 9, 2014

my eyes are the same tho

@pmcg my eyes are the same tho
➛
Sep 9, 2014

suddenly all those read-faster-in-tiny-bites snake-oil...

suddenly all those read-faster-in-tiny-bites snake-oil things make terrible sense
➛
Sep 9, 2014

I wonder what the reading experience on the Apple Watch TAP...

I wonder what the reading experience on the Apple Watch TAP FOR NEXT PAGE
➛
Sep 9, 2014

Aaaand I'm done livebloggin' https://medium.com/message/appl...

Aaaand I'm done livebloggin' medium.com/...
➛
Sep 9, 2014

Sticky even

Sticky even
➛
Sep 9, 2014

“The 2,400-seat auditorium is drenched with Apple history.”...

“The 2,400-seat auditorium is drenched with Apple history.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Sep 9, 2014

leah it's a HALF TRILLION company it'd be like if serious...

@leahfinnegan leah it's a HALF TRILLION company it'd be like if serious eats didn't cover banh mi
➛
Sep 9, 2014

The Awl Network probably has the most freckles per capita...

The Awl Network probably has the most freckles per capita of any media company in NYC.
➛
Sep 9, 2014

A Complete Guide to Today's Apple Event...

A Complete Guide to Today's Apple Event theawl.com/...
➛
Sep 9, 2014

at some level I feel more upset about a bot in twitter jail...

@alazyreader @rustyk5 at some level I feel more upset about a bot in twitter jail than I do about [list of global horrible prison things] :/
➛
Sep 9, 2014

In Olivia's absence, we all must it.

@rustyk5 In Olivia's absence, we all must it.
➛
Sep 9, 2014

i'm cutting it close on this phone then tbh

@anildash @rustyk5 i'm cutting it close on this phone then tbh
➛
Sep 9, 2014

i'm android my giant phone is old

@anildash @rustyk5 i'm android my giant phone is old
➛
Sep 9, 2014

can u do it in the form of a sequence of cards asking for a...

@rustyk5 can u do it in the form of a sequence of cards asking for a friend
➛
Sep 9, 2014

i'm totally looking forward to standing in the middle by...

@anildash @rustyk5 i'm totally looking forward to standing in the middle by the wall kind of nodding appreciatively
➛
Sep 9, 2014

Revealing it to be a Professor Griff shirt.

@rustyk5 @anildash Revealing it to be a Professor Griff shirt.
➛
Sep 9, 2014

these are some TRULY AMAZING dildo infographics...

these are some TRULY AMAZING dildo infographics jonmillward.com/... (NSFW in case the words "dildo infographics" don't penetrate your min
➛
Sep 9, 2014

Oh I thought your contract was exclusive to Twitter.

@rustyk5 @anildash @Medium Oh I thought your contract was exclusive to Twitter.
➛
Sep 9, 2014

so @anildash and I are going to mock-live-blog this for...

@rustyk5 so @anildash and I are going to mock-live-blog this for @medium [STOP LAUGHING] and we're gonna need tweets to embed soooooooooooo
➛
Sep 9, 2014

I've got nothing against promises. But hoo doggies I never...

I've got nothing against promises. But hoo doggies I never want a multi-table conditional sql insert/update in node again. Broke my heart.
➛
Sep 9, 2014

Nerds: this article is right. Channels remove so, so, so...

Nerds: this article is right. Channels remove so, so, so much pain from Javascript. jlongster.com/...
➛
Sep 8, 2014

oh yeah they TOTALLY see us coming, they anticipate our...

@bn2b oh yeah they TOTALLY see us coming, they anticipate our feeble objections and make it seem bigger than mere capitalism
➛
Sep 8, 2014

like you won't want the watch per se because you're too...

@bn2b like you won't want the watch per se because you're too smart to be swayed by mere gadgets they'll make you want the freaking life
➛
Sep 8, 2014

they'll make it so you think about how much better your...

@bn2b they'll make it so you think about how much better your life would be with one of those stupid watches
➛
Sep 8, 2014

since the mid-1990s internet particle scientists have...

since the mid-1990s internet particle scientists have sought the elusive dildon
➛
Sep 8, 2014

we're all in this together

@ChrisMBarr we're all in this together
➛
Sep 7, 2014

don't worry i'll sit in the corner and make chunkachunka...

@tomburns don't worry i'll sit in the corner and make chunkachunka noises
➛
Sep 7, 2014

the third one is for my tulpa http://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas

@bn2b the third one is for my tulpa reddit.com/...
➛
Sep 7, 2014

THREE SECRET WEBSITES

@bn2b THREE SECRET WEBSITES
➛
Sep 7, 2014

(also I'll publish the talk right after)

@alazyreader @xoxo (also I'll publish the talk right after)
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Sep 7, 2014

let's see how it goes

@goldman let's see how it goes
➛
Sep 7, 2014

okay done again

okay done again
➛
Sep 7, 2014

no it's cool i'll send you an invite

no it's cool i'll send you an invite
➛
Sep 7, 2014

no no you have a plane to catch it's completely cool

no no you have a plane to catch it's completely cool
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I'm the last person speaking at XOXO on Sunday but for the...

I'm the last person speaking at XOXO on Sunday but for the 19 of you remaining you are going to see THREE SECRET WEBSITES.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

oh one more thing

oh one more thing
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Sep 7, 2014

can u imagine having one of the most popular mail services...

@bn2b can u imagine having one of the most popular mail services on earth--HARD to cache--and telling everyone hit it a billion times a day
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Sep 7, 2014

this is a serious week jeff i've got SERIOUS crushing to do

@codinghorror this is a serious week jeff i've got SERIOUS crushing to do
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Sep 7, 2014

no exactly, also it says “yeah we don't really think about...

@bn2b no exactly, also it says “yeah we don't really think about like bandwidth and database hits any more that shit means nothing.”
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Sep 7, 2014

i'm building a cms for quantum computers so it works itself...

@knowtheory i'm building a cms for quantum computers so it works itself out
➛
Sep 7, 2014

an anagram for beyonce knowles is woken obscenely

an anagram for beyonce knowles is woken obscenely
➛
Sep 7, 2014

those are all my thoughts. i'm going to get back to...

those are all my thoughts. i'm going to get back to crushing it. see everyone when the news returns to normal after the apple-ing.
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Sep 7, 2014

I thought I understood the Slateriarchy but according to...

I thought I understood the Slateriarchy but according to this article everything I know about the Slateriarchy is wrong.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

The other thought I had, I read this article in Slate about...

The other thought I had, I read this article in Slate about how Meghan Trainor isn't feminist, and I started to imagine the Slateriarchy.
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Sep 7, 2014

“When I think of Fred, I think of a hate-fuelled sociopath...

“When I think of Fred, I think of a hate-fuelled sociopath of great personal and public cruelty. But I also think of his peanut brickle.”
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Sep 7, 2014

“Lots of people knew Fred as an inhuman garbage beast who...

“Lots of people knew Fred as an inhuman garbage beast who shamed Christians everywhere. Few people knew how much he loved foosball.”
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Sep 7, 2014

the key thing is make "is the new" into a stopword on your...

@rustyk5 the key thing is make "is the new" into a stopword on your site search so no one knows
➛
Sep 7, 2014

everything is the new everything and it's killing bloggers...

@rustyk5 everything is the new everything and it's killing bloggers who ultimately rely on some things being things to make a living
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Sep 7, 2014

zines are the newsletters there's an article tomorrow in...

@rustyk5 zines are the newsletters there's an article tomorrow in the atlantic [DOT COM]
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Sep 7, 2014

meanwhile you actually have to hit the twitter api by fax

meanwhile you actually have to hit the twitter api by fax
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Sep 7, 2014

need to hit gmail 694,000 times a minute? nah it's cool...

need to hit gmail 694,000 times a minute? nah it's cool don't even ask. no seriously we're trying to make plus work namaste.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

everyone else is like write me a college essay for API...

everyone else is like write me a college essay for API access and google looks up and goes, i made a billion api requests from my phone sup
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Sep 7, 2014

I like the way that the YouTube API has a cap of 50 million...

I like the way that the YouTube API has a cap of 50 million requests, and the Gmail API a billion, out of the box, free. Google truly dgaf.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I mean that's basically a prequel to the hunger games

@BenRegenspan I mean that's basically a prequel to the hunger games
➛
Sep 7, 2014

its a really high cost IMO :/

@desconcentrado its a really high cost IMO :/
➛
Sep 7, 2014

also some centralization seems to be necessary for managing...

@desconcentrad also some centralization seems to be necessary for managing spam.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

whoa deeeeep cut there ray

@Radlein whoa deeeeep cut there ray
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I guess this is what happens when you centralize and...

@gnat I guess this is what happens when you centralize and commercialize that culture
➛
Sep 7, 2014

what i keep thinking about is how exactly reddit exactly...

what i keep thinking about is how exactly reddit exactly mirrors usenet now in form and function
➛
Sep 7, 2014

man don't get high off your /r/supply

man don't get high off your /r/supply
➛
Sep 7, 2014

humans sure don't scale horizontally

humans sure don't scale horizontally
➛
Sep 7, 2014

Labels: a community of communities, government 2.0, looking...

Labels: a community of communities, government 2.0, looking for your feedback
➛
Sep 7, 2014

wow this explanation from the reddit ceo is beyond...

wow this explanation from the reddit ceo is beyond redditblog.com/...
➛
Sep 7, 2014

no that's smart, you optimize for the oculus rift now

@A_L no that's smart, you optimize for the oculus rift now
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I have a lot of great headlines but no publication.

I have a lot of great headlines but no publication.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

the other good headline I had was when there was an uproar...

the other good headline I had was when there was an uproar about urban farming in park slope, I suggested HENTRIFICATION
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Sep 7, 2014

also guys this chart on this page only works if you have a...

also guys this chart on this page only works if you have a 14,000 pixel tall monitor nytimes.com/...
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Sep 7, 2014

in my secret world where this is the cover of the Post and...

in my secret world where this is the cover of the Post and people care about how influence is bought it's in 300 pt type as HAX FLAX
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I have a new title for that article about foreign funding...

I have a new title for that article about foreign funding of thinktanks okay wait ready? “HACKS ACTUALLY FLACKS” nytimes.com/...
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Sep 7, 2014

Shooooooocckkkkked to learn that thinktanks like Brookings...

Shooooooocckkkkked to learn that thinktanks like Brookings are pocketing millions from foreign governments nytimes.com/...
➛
Sep 7, 2014

tarkus first? Or ease in with like some early genesis?

@bn2b @setecq tarkus first? Or ease in with like some early genesis?
➛
Sep 7, 2014

just 72 hours of work between now and tomorrow morning and...

just 72 hours of work between now and tomorrow morning and this prototype is FINISHED
➛
Sep 7, 2014

such good ftp searching too

@joemcgonegal such good ftp searching too
➛
Sep 7, 2014

last update 2007 http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/technolo...

last update 2007 nytimes.com/...
➛
Sep 7, 2014

oh man if you ever get kicked off cybertron that is going...

@donohoe @rustyk5 @harrisj oh man if you ever get kicked off cybertron that is going be awkward
➛
Sep 7, 2014

tom that's 90% of the brand value right there that you just...

@tmcgev @rustyk5 tom that's 90% of the brand value right there that you just called unneccessary
➛
Sep 7, 2014

DARK MAQUETTE coming next month from Hachette not that...

@rustyk5 DARK MAQUETTE coming next month from Hachette not that you'll be able to buy it online.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

you answer the phone and someone whispers the word...

@rustyk5 you answer the phone and someone whispers the word “coöperate”
➛
Sep 7, 2014

today we are all co-founders of tinder

today we are all co-founders of tinder
➛
Sep 7, 2014

yeah that is nonsense advance is the largest reddit...

yeah that is nonsense advance is the largest reddit shareholder and reddit is in the wired offices behind a big weird red door
➛
Sep 7, 2014

wait a correction has arrived gonna rt

wait a correction has arrived gonna rt
➛
Sep 7, 2014

i auto-aggregated that tweet from my twonvertwations with...

i auto-aggregated that tweet from my twonvertwations with @rustyk5
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Sep 7, 2014

rusty what if you and i are a new yorker sleeper cell...

@rustyk5 rusty what if you and i are a new yorker sleeper cell waiting for silvia to say the code word before we destroy the internet from w
➛
Sep 7, 2014

it's like if burning man was owned by sandals

@rustyk5 it's like if burning man was owned by sandals
➛
Sep 7, 2014

what i love is that it's owned by the same people who...

@rustyk5 what i love is that it's owned by the same people who publish BRIDES
➛
Sep 7, 2014

hah I'm from west chester we had both

@schuyler @mbostock hah I'm from west chester we had both
➛
Sep 7, 2014

https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/508489347474415616/photo/1

twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 7, 2014

we just couldn't see it

@schuyler we just couldn't see it
➛
Sep 7, 2014

the description of the video is longer than the video

@bn2b the description of the video is longer than the video
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I mean I was a desktop linux advocate in 1998, can't change...

@timbray I mean I was a desktop linux advocate in 1998, can't change the past.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

no matter how well we do in life we're all still hanging...

@mbostock no matter how well we do in life we're all still hanging out in front of a 7-11 on saturday night
➛
Sep 7, 2014

yeah i'm out of town all next week but then i'll bring it...

@bn2b @setecq yeah i'm out of town all next week but then i'll bring it up and let's doooooo it #progclub
➛
Sep 7, 2014

lololol oh god

@bn2b lololol oh god
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I feel that at some point we should do a collective Twitter...

@setecq @bn2b I feel that at some point we should do a collective Twitter listening party and all hit play on Tarkus.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

“Livgren's lyrics on Monolith were partly influenced by The...

@bn2b “Livgren's lyrics on Monolith were partly influenced by The Urantia Book”
➛
Sep 7, 2014

i'm listening to it now it's better than i remembered

@bn2b i'm listening to it now it's better than i remembered
➛
Sep 7, 2014

the music is perfectly matched to the cover but not in a...

@bn2b the music is perfectly matched to the cover but not in a great way
➛
Sep 7, 2014

The touchstone of prog excess for me is this album cover by...

The touchstone of prog excess for me is this album cover by Kansas. If you look at it too long your clothes fringe. twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 7, 2014

As a UX professional I can say: Blog comments sections are...

As a UX professional I can say: Blog comments sections are a usability and experience disaster EXCEPT when used to discuss EL&P's Tarkus.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

“It sucks a rat. It sucks a rat’s balls. It sucks a...

“It sucks a rat. It sucks a rat’s balls. It sucks a futuristic cyborg rat’s balls.” futurismic.com/...
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Sep 7, 2014

which leads to hilarity

@reppep which leads to hilarity
➛
Sep 7, 2014

i had some EL&P that I really liked as a kid too, but...

@reppep i had some EL&P that I really liked as a kid too, but unless you've really dealt with a lot of prog i think they just baffle people
➛
Sep 7, 2014

oh man i'm really glad you pointed those out

@thedaniel oh man i'm really glad you pointed those out
➛
Sep 7, 2014

oh man “touch and go” by emerson lake and powell didn't...

oh man “touch and go” by emerson lake and powell didn't hold up too good
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I'm on my tenth year of this Jason.

@jdkunesh I'm on my tenth year of this Jason.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

http://www.jetsetcarina.com/2008/11/jet-set-twilight-review....

@bn2b #c7333802024107553420" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.jetsetcarina.com/2008/11/jet-set-twilight-review.html?showComment=1227987900000#c7333802024107553420
➛
Sep 7, 2014

Spin once reviewed the fonts in a book of Jewel's poetry...

@bn2b Spin once reviewed the fonts in a book of Jewel's poetry and left it there.
➛
Sep 7, 2014

I like this one, where a guy does his damnedest to like...

I like this one, where a guy does his damnedest to like Tarkus because his frined likes it. seanishere.blogspot.com/...
➛
Sep 7, 2014

Man I hope I never get too old to have a couple drinks and...

Man I hope I never get too old to have a couple drinks and go searching for the cruelest possible Emerson Lake & Palmer reviews on the web.
➛
Sep 6, 2014

Can cats truly love pizza, though?

Can cats truly love pizza, though?
➛
Sep 6, 2014

i'm overjoyed to witness that you and daniel were so soon...

@leahfinnegan i'm overjoyed to witness that you and daniel were so soon blessed with issue
➛
Sep 6, 2014

i got 99 privileges and a play-sta-tion

i got 99 privileges and a play-sta-tion
➛
Sep 6, 2014

huh. titanic and lord the rings were both about throwing...

huh. titanic and lord the rings were both about throwing away emotionally exhausting jewelry.
➛
Sep 6, 2014

it flamed out after 800 words though, like it's just not...

@jrobertlennon it flamed out after 800 words though, like it's just not that interesting to enter into debates with the collective goblin
➛
Sep 6, 2014

An old woman goes on a sea voyage but just ends up losing...

An old woman goes on a sea voyage but just ends up losing her fancy necklace. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
➛
Sep 6, 2014

every time i see the wikipedia ad for SUMMER OF MONUMENTS i...

every time i see the wikipedia ad for SUMMER OF MONUMENTS i think it's a job, like master of revels twitter.com/...
➛
Sep 6, 2014

none of these are problems, just situations

none of these are problems, just situations
➛
Sep 6, 2014

i was like, i can't write about politeness and end the...

i was like, i can't write about politeness and end the piece GO FUCK YOURSELF. the first draft was for the internet, the second was for me.
➛
Sep 6, 2014

we'll get through it

@dope_move we'll get through it
➛
Sep 6, 2014

in the first draft of that politeness thing i tried to...

in the first draft of that politeness thing i tried to reply to the voice, to demonstrate how 2 be polite, but it ended GO FUCK YOURSELF
➛
Sep 6, 2014

that's why i'm so tired

@davebry9 that's why i'm so tired
➛
Sep 6, 2014

lately my first drafts are just me screaming back at the...

lately my first drafts are just me screaming back at the collective shrieking voice of the internet in my head, then i give up and write wev
➛
Sep 6, 2014

i am tired of making cool stuff

i am tired of making cool stuff
➛
Sep 6, 2014

i am tired

i am tired
➛
Sep 6, 2014

now i'm going to go M-x cider-restart for the eight...

@jackrusher now i'm going to go M-x cider-restart for the eight billionth time because I used a doall map instead of doseq.
➛
Sep 6, 2014

Especially around core.async in cljs because that shit...

@jackrusher Especially around core.async in cljs because that shit could make the world a better place and we have to tell the people.
➛
Sep 6, 2014

Once I get this horrible thing launched on September 14th...

@jackrusher Once I get this horrible thing launched on September 14th you and me are gonna do some public code refactoring dialogues.
➛
Sep 5, 2014

omg they're so amazing tho

@bn2b omg they're so amazing tho
➛
Sep 5, 2014

canarachnoridiculumophile then

@rustyk5 @_Cooper canarachnoridiculumophile then
➛
Sep 5, 2014

as a canarachnoprankophile I WILL

@rustyk5 @_Cooper as a canarachnoprankophile I WILL
➛
Sep 5, 2014

tulpas are imaginary friends with benefits...

tulpas are imaginary friends with benefits metafilter.com/...
➛
Sep 5, 2014

ryan the laws about insider faving are very clear

@sixfoot6 @KatzM @clockwerks ryan the laws about insider faving are very clear
➛
Sep 5, 2014

Everyone freaks out about Vox and BuzzFeed but if you're...

Everyone freaks out about Vox and BuzzFeed but if you're going to freak over something, maybe freak over Stack.
➛
Sep 5, 2014

r.i.p. coffee https://medium.com/matter/the-33-things-to-do-...

r.i.p. coffee medium.com/...
➛
Sep 5, 2014

But later he will insist that his kik was not for...

But later he will insist that his kik was not for attribution.
➛
Sep 5, 2014

One day in the future the CEO of BuzzFeed will tell a NYMag...

One day in the future the CEO of BuzzFeed will tell a NYMag journobot, “We don't need to hire some kid from ViralHorseBomb to win.”
➛
Sep 5, 2014

I like the CEO from Time, he actually says things.

I like the CEO from Time, he actually says things.
➛
Sep 5, 2014

“‘You know the BuzzFeeds and Voxes are valued on the number...

“‘You know the BuzzFeeds and Voxes are valued on the number of buzzes they get.’” nymag.com/...
➛
Sep 5, 2014

“‘dump $500 million on some silly internet thing that...

“‘dump $500 million on some silly internet thing that doesn’t make any money.’” nymag.com/...
➛
Sep 5, 2014

“‘Why would you want to go out in your last job as a man...

“‘Why would you want to go out in your last job as a man who gets paid to watch a cadaver put in the ground?’” nymag.com/...
➛
Sep 5, 2014

“I have Norman back as my partner and not some kid from Vox...

“I have Norman back as my partner and not some kid from Vox [because] he understands [Time Inc.’s] traditions.” nymag.com/...
➛
Sep 4, 2014

wonder what will be under the seats at the wake

@leahfinnegan wonder what will be under the seats at the wake
➛
Sep 4, 2014

hordes clutching vision boards toppling the coffin

@leahfinnegan hordes clutching vision boards toppling the coffin
➛
Sep 4, 2014

remember when princess di died and then mother theresa...

remember when princess di died and then mother theresa right after? do you know how lucky we were there was no twitter then?
➛
Sep 4, 2014

http://www.theawl.com/tag/what-does-polite-paul-ford-think-o...

theawl.com/...
➛
Sep 4, 2014

i mean who wouldn't think of those

@john_overholt i mean who wouldn't think of those
➛
Sep 4, 2014

my degree in manscape architecture was a huge mistake

my degree in manscape architecture was a huge mistake
➛
Sep 4, 2014

I went back and read this recently it was interesting...

@harrisj I went back and read this recently it was interesting schnada.de/...
➛
Sep 4, 2014

also if they did it was bad. it was all supposed to be...

@harrisj also if they did it was bad. it was all supposed to be machine-to-machine parseable but some weird orthodoxies crept in.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

I do too, as long as it never involves namespaces expressed...

@harrisj I do too, as long as it never involves namespaces expressed as fully qualified URIs.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

i think JS-driven document databases are where it all went...

@fivetonsflax i think JS-driven document databases are where it all went south
➛
Sep 4, 2014

report for reëducation please

@fivetonsflax report for reëducation please
➛
Sep 4, 2014

it was pretty great for encoding long textual documents...

@harrisj it was pretty great for encoding long textual documents which is something a previous civilization found important
➛
Sep 4, 2014

hahaha yes, when done right (this came from Microsoft) it's...

@jakeasmith hahaha yes, when done right (this came from Microsoft) it's so damn easy.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

json is the perfect tool for expressing all documents and...

json is the perfect tool for expressing all documents and the documents it does not express should not have been created
➛
Sep 4, 2014

oh and it was indented anyway no you guys are right json is...

oh and it was indented anyway no you guys are right json is the best json is the right solution json forever only json all documents in json
➛
Sep 4, 2014

i'd forgotten that that was the goal, honestly

i'd forgotten that that was the goal, honestly
➛
Sep 4, 2014

i just parsed some xml i found on the web and it worked and...

i just parsed some xml i found on the web and it worked and had no ambiguities and the character encoding was correct and then i was done
➛
Sep 4, 2014

Jesus will never block my prayers

@bn2b Jesus will never block my prayers
➛
Sep 4, 2014

i really just want like a big IRC + blogs with lots of...

@bn2b i really just want like a big IRC + blogs with lots of pictures
➛
Sep 4, 2014

lol i know you do i find it kind of fascinating all of it

@bn2b lol i know you do i find it kind of fascinating all of it
➛
Sep 4, 2014

Twitter and Facebook are all YOUR VOICE MATTERS WE NEED YOU...

@bn2b Twitter and Facebook are all YOUR VOICE MATTERS WE NEED YOU and then they're like, we repainted your room while you were at the bar.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

Sure, but people get angry when they feel powerless to...

@bn2b Sure, but people get angry when they feel powerless to control the systems that they believe give them power.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

This is a sharing economy, Katie. If individuals control...

@leahfinnegan @katienotopoulos This is a sharing economy, Katie. If individuals control their own sharing, chaos will ensue. You will share.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

twitter filter let that one thru huh

@rustyk5 twitter filter let that one thru huh
➛
Sep 4, 2014

jk i don't have skin

jk i don't have skin
➛
Sep 4, 2014

my dermatologist just told me she's a growth hacker

my dermatologist just told me she's a growth hacker
➛
Sep 4, 2014

What if I built a dynamically reprogrammable system that...

@anildash @fromedome @ev What if I built a dynamically reprogrammable system that automatically bets against anything meta?
➛
Sep 4, 2014

At last all that was left of the universe was one bot,...

At last all that was left of the universe was one bot, nourished on the embers of superclusters. As the red glow faded it said, please retwe
➛
Sep 4, 2014

Not all capitalism.

@rustyk5 Not all capitalism.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

I wonder if it bothers Obama that Hillary Clinton is like...

I wonder if it bothers Obama that Hillary Clinton is like 50x better at the Illuminati handshake.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

which one is the greater artist do you think

@leahfinnegan which one is the greater artist do you think
➛
Sep 4, 2014

just never figured you for a Jedediah Purdy girl is all

@leahfinnegan just never figured you for a Jedediah Purdy girl is all
➛
Sep 4, 2014

i am surprised because you are not usually this wrong

@leahfinnegan i am surprised because you are not usually this wrong
➛
Sep 4, 2014

This ISIS video is truly horrible. I wish someone would...

This ISIS video is truly horrible. I wish someone would explain it with Jurassic Park GIFs.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

Oh man. Feel better and see you soon.

@waxpancake Oh man. Feel better and see you soon.
➛
Sep 4, 2014

lemme get to alpha on September 14th

@mathpunk lemme get to alpha on September 14th
➛
Sep 3, 2014

well sort of a meta blog-about-blogs blogging tool

@anildash @fromedome well sort of a meta blog-about-blogs blogging tool
➛
Sep 3, 2014

we always sang it as “where is humpkin?”

@anildash @alecperkins we always sang it as “where is humpkin?”
➛
Sep 3, 2014

Weirdly the CMS I'm building is exactly optimized to create...

@fromedome @anildash Weirdly the CMS I'm building is exactly optimized to create exactly the sort of blog Anil is talking about.
➛
Sep 3, 2014

MIDDLE FINGER HELICOPTER anyway it's almost done

@anildash @alecperkins MIDDLE FINGER HELICOPTER anyway it's almost done
➛
Sep 3, 2014

no he is erotically fixated on eating other dogs at least...

@bn2b no he is erotically fixated on eating other dogs at least judging from his forum posts although my german is rusty
➛
Sep 3, 2014

that dog is a cannibal

@bn2b that dog is a cannibal
➛
Sep 3, 2014

that dog is ready for some serious pupperoni

@bn2b that dog is ready for some serious pupperoni
➛
Sep 3, 2014

I knowwwwwwwww do you like PIZZZAAAA?

@bn2b I knowwwwwwwww do you like PIZZZAAAA?
➛
Sep 3, 2014

Oh man I got my one click pizza ordering app mixed up with...

Oh man I got my one click pizza ordering app mixed up with Flappy Bird this is real bad.
➛
Sep 3, 2014

i mean i'm sure what it SAYS is good too but srsly if...

@kjhealy i mean i'm sure what it SAYS is good too but srsly if that's piping out of org mode mazel tov
➛
Sep 3, 2014

niiiiiiiiiice xdvipdfmx (0.7.8) output kieran

@kjhealy niiiiiiiiiice xdvipdfmx (0.7.8) output kieran
➛
Sep 3, 2014

workflow is the enemy of work

workflow is the enemy of work
➛
Sep 3, 2014

oh yeah and then the alarm goes off at 8:30am instead of...

@helenjane @sixfoot6 oh yeah and then the alarm goes off at 8:30am instead of 4:30am and you get that feeling
➛
Sep 3, 2014

if you work late tonight you can probably fix it

@sixfoot6 if you work late tonight you can probably fix it
➛
Sep 3, 2014

except it's a series of thousands of tiny mistakes leading...

@harrisj except it's a series of thousands of tiny mistakes leading to one, truly distinctive product mistake at the end
➛
Sep 3, 2014

more like if i don't present this what is my talk even...

@jeremyzilar more like if i don't present this what is my talk even going to be
➛
Sep 3, 2014

you can only git blame yourself

@sixfoot6 you can only git blame yourself
➛
Sep 3, 2014

hah people can't hang out in this state. all time spent is...

@nzle @moranjarrett hah people can't hang out in this state. all time spent is time robbed from The Terrible Thing
➛
Sep 3, 2014

The game turns it into play. It's a way to push through...

@RealityTC The game turns it into play. It's a way to push through anxiety and fear of rejection, in order to learn about people.
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Sep 3, 2014

Respectfully, no. I write, “For all of my irony I really do...

@RealityTC Respectfully, no. I write, “For all of my irony I really do want to know about the process of hanging jewelry from celebrities.”
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Sep 3, 2014

you know that feeling when your work is coming into focus...

you know that feeling when your work is coming into focus and the pieces are lining up and you realize you never, ever should have done this
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Sep 3, 2014

It's really not out of that playbook. It works very well...

@RealityTC @magspatterson It's really not out of that playbook. It works very well because it's backed by a genuine interest in others.
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Sep 3, 2014

“"In America wives take the names of their husbands,” the...

“"In America wives take the names of their husbands,” the officer told her according to court papers.” dnainfo.com/...
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Sep 3, 2014

New NYPD rule: Muslim women can't stand in Times Square....

New NYPD rule: Muslim women can't stand in Times Square. dnainfo.com/...
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Sep 3, 2014

It's a bad week for the Internet but a great week for...

It's a bad week for the Internet but a great week for anyone who can provide stock photos of an unsmiling Jennifer Lawrence on a runway.
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Sep 3, 2014

after brands achieve full self-awareness you'll all be...

after brands achieve full self-awareness you'll all be begging to punch the monkey
➛
Sep 3, 2014

You guys say you hate banner ads, but wait until brands...

You guys say you hate banner ads, but wait until brands become self-aware and realize that they no longer need their human hosts.
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Sep 3, 2014

oh god klout for blackness is inevitable isn't it. if we...

oh god klout for blackness is inevitable isn't it. if we can score influence over an identity-community then your “x”-ness can be quantified
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Sep 3, 2014

Oh man I cannot even begin to explain what that means.

@patbits Oh man I cannot even begin to explain what that means.
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Sep 3, 2014

Sorry it's not a paper it's a research proposal.

Sorry it's not a paper it's a research proposal.
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Sep 3, 2014

To be honest my next thought was “oh man I would score...

To be honest my next thought was “oh man I would score REALLY low on that.”
➛
Sep 3, 2014

Okay if you read that paper it sort of implies a ranking...

Okay if you read that paper it sort of implies a ranking system, which means...Klout for blackness. annenberglab.com/...
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Sep 3, 2014

“tricky classification problem”

@ceodonovan @shani_o “tricky classification problem”
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Sep 3, 2014

doing the thing where your mouth is open and you are moving...

@shani_o doing the thing where your mouth is open and you are moving both of your hands in front of your face
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Sep 3, 2014

it'll be here when you get back

@D5AA96 it'll be here when you get back
➛
Sep 3, 2014

let's agree to live in peace but without ever speaking again

@harrisj let's agree to live in peace but without ever speaking again
➛
Sep 3, 2014

nah mostly i ship hagrid/snape it's on AO3 under beary...

@D5AA96 nah mostly i ship hagrid/snape it's on AO3 under beary potter
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Sep 3, 2014

centipede was made by a man and a woman together

centipede was made by a man and a woman together
➛
Sep 3, 2014

centipede is the only video game that matters

centipede is the only video game that matters
➛
Sep 3, 2014

“Why haven’t Russians experienced hope in the last quarter...

“Why haven’t Russians experienced hope in the last quarter century?” nybooks.com/...
➛
Sep 3, 2014

actually that's a tongueclick with simultaneous eyeroll;...

@rustyk5 actually that's a tongueclick with simultaneous eyeroll; you need to them both at once
➛
Sep 3, 2014

[NYC barista sideeyes, tongueclicks, eyerolls, hands over...

@rustyk5 [NYC barista sideeyes, tongueclicks, eyerolls, hands over dixie cup, yells “next order please!”]
➛
Sep 3, 2014

maybe this is why tourists are so infuriatingly slow...

@rustyk5 maybe this is why tourists are so infuriatingly slow placing their orders
➛
Sep 3, 2014

it must be so weird for them when people visit nyc and...

@rustyk5 it must be so weird for them when people visit nyc and their $20 beverage doesn't come with a handy
➛
Sep 3, 2014

plus you'd look weird in a bikini

@rustyk5 plus you'd look weird in a bikini
➛
Sep 3, 2014

“‘A helicopter accident,’ she finally said, in a tone that...

“‘A helicopter accident,’ she finally said, in a tone that seemed to indicate I had no business being surprised.” nybooks.com/...
➛
Sep 2, 2014

Kind of you to say that, thank you.

@Penderworth Kind of you to say that, thank you.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

forgive yourself dave

@davebry9 forgive yourself dave
➛
Sep 2, 2014

children's choir ruining my braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin plus...

children's choir ruining my braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin plus water imagery i don't even know i'm hitting repeat my hand moves on its own
➛
Sep 2, 2014

oh sailor by mr little jeans is the worst indie earworm...

oh sailor by mr little jeans is the worst indie earworm since penelope by pinback
➛
Sep 2, 2014

you're not my first andy

@andyorin you're not my first andy
➛
Sep 2, 2014

i checked forex but weirdly you can only exchange those for...

@leahfinnegan i checked forex but weirdly you can only exchange those for 1923 deutschemarks
➛
Sep 2, 2014

this concludes my thoughts on nudes

this concludes my thoughts on nudes
➛
Sep 2, 2014

not if you're being syndicated

@leahfinnegan not if you're being syndicated
➛
Sep 2, 2014

u know who else owes me nudes is J. M. Coetzee

u know who else owes me nudes is J. M. Coetzee
➛
Sep 2, 2014

man now i don't even know WHERE my erection is coming from...

@idiosyncronaut man now i don't even know WHERE my erection is coming from thanks
➛
Sep 2, 2014

also by that "o owe me nudes" logic James Earl Jones owes...

also by that "o owe me nudes" logic James Earl Jones owes me so many nudes
➛
Sep 2, 2014

first the dudes who are all like “these famous women OWE me...

first the dudes who are all like “these famous women OWE me noods” basically all pirate everything
➛
Sep 2, 2014

i could be thinking about anything else but no the nudes

i could be thinking about anything else but no the nudes
➛
Sep 2, 2014

okay so i can't stop thinking about the nudes

okay so i can't stop thinking about the nudes
➛
Sep 2, 2014

annika could u not could u not tho

@abackstrom annika could u not could u not tho
➛
Sep 2, 2014

yeah except it's also like i'm on that Slo-Mo drug

@patbits yeah except it's also like i'm on that Slo-Mo drug
➛
Sep 2, 2014

Wikipedia for Pumping Lemma has a banner for SUMMER OF...

@omershapira Wikipedia for Pumping Lemma has a banner for SUMMER OF MONUMENTS and it took me half a minute to realize summer!=Σ.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

i can't even can't even right now right now

i can't even can't even right now right now
➛
Sep 2, 2014

this day patrick

@patbits this day patrick
➛
Sep 2, 2014

we need to criminalize more things it's the only way to fix...

we need to criminalize more things it's the only way to fix it
➛
Sep 2, 2014

combine that with someone opening a box of disney shit

@bn2b combine that with someone opening a box of disney shit
➛
Sep 2, 2014

I guess you don't get a black tie wedding at the Natural...

I guess you don't get a black tie wedding at the Natural History Museum paying people to syndicate their Medium articles on your verticals.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

i feel like we should be stepbrothers who run a bed and...

@bn2b i feel like we should be stepbrothers who run a bed and breakfast in taos
➛
Sep 2, 2014

rise and grind

@torrez rise and grind
➛
Sep 2, 2014

My front-end code is so tight its got XAMLtoe.

My front-end code is so tight its got XAMLtoe.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

And if you can't yell at the the one you'd love to/Honey,...

And if you can't yell at the the one you'd love to/Honey, scold the one you're with.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

Past generations weren't any wiser than we are. They just...

Past generations weren't any wiser than we are. They just had fewer choices.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

“you just...the salty ranching chips...at the store?...

“you just...the salty ranching chips...at the store? whenever you want? and then on the computerscope, the pornography? all the time?”
➛
Sep 2, 2014

actually if you brought someone from 100 years ago into...

actually if you brought someone from 100 years ago into modern life they'd probably die in a month because they lack an immunity to doritos
➛
Sep 2, 2014

In 1914 it was EXTREMELY HIGH

@jvanslem In 1914 it was EXTREMELY HIGH
➛
Sep 2, 2014

It would seem like heaven.

It would seem like heaven.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

Imagine someone from century ago sitting down in front of a...

Imagine someone from century ago sitting down in front of a computer today and realizing they could have as much outrage as they wanted.
➛
Sep 2, 2014

After Ferguson and ISIS, I bet AIPAC was all like OMG...

After Ferguson and ISIS, I bet AIPAC was all like OMG they're going to remember Gaza—and then...4chan noodz! Extend the beach-house rental!
➛
Sep 2, 2014

one of the most miraculous things in life is the sight of a...

one of the most miraculous things in life is the sight of a think-piece emerging from a columnist's cloaca
➛
Sep 2, 2014

my the internet is exceptionally moist with self-regard...

my the internet is exceptionally moist with self-regard this morning
➛
Sep 1, 2014

citation needed

@rustyk5 citation needed
➛
Sep 1, 2014

they just did it backwards or else they figured the average...

@knowtheory @zubakskees they just did it backwards or else they figured the average wikipedia foot is 4x regular
➛
Sep 1, 2014

that's pretty far

@goldman that's pretty far
➛
Sep 1, 2014

twitter is all the beach i need

@samfbiddle twitter is all the beach i need
➛
Sep 1, 2014

I mean if you don't trust HowStuffWorks what do you even...

@knowtheory I mean if you don't trust HowStuffWorks what do you even trust
➛
Sep 1, 2014

The Wikipedia page for Sock is the most Wikipedia page I've...

The Wikipedia page for Sock is the most Wikipedia page I've ever seen: en.wikipedia.org/...
➛
Sep 1, 2014

no that just means you are not a crabby cynic

@misc no that just means you are not a crabby cynic
➛
Sep 1, 2014

I started out watching this kind of annoyed but realized...

I started out watching this kind of annoyed but realized that the problem was me vevo.com/...
➛
Sep 1, 2014

This is majestic, and it was working for me within a...

@cjno @jackrusher @magnars This is majestic, and it was working for me within a minute. Thank you so much for making it.
➛
Sep 1, 2014

For people who are genuinely interested in the genuine...

For people who are genuinely interested in the genuine processes that influence Apple decision-making, it's a disaster tho.
➛
Sep 1, 2014

I enjoyed this article on how Apple's PR works. Conclusion:...

I enjoyed this article on how Apple's PR works. Conclusion: It works really, really well for Apple. 9to5mac.com/...
➛
Aug 31, 2014

Well now that we've seen the nudes I hope the Earl of...

Well now that we've seen the nudes I hope the Earl of Mercia will honor his word and stop his cruel tax on the people of Coventry.
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