March 2014 BY Paul Ford 2014 398 Sections It's like that's your vacation autoreply. Death with dignity is the best we can hope for now. No matter how brutal the beating it keeps getting back up,... No winners. True, that also happened. Major job perk. A PR person is volunteering to be your human wastebasket. guys no Why does there have to be just one? nice opinion http://basex.org/ is GUI-driven, free, works great, and... tons Hah, don't worry, early King Crimson is so much better than... Great outcome. Sigh. I miss ClojureScript real bad right now. But I totally reimplemented scrolling! Oh that's not even this, THAT is much more insane, this is... http://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Monster-Sometimes-John-Steptoe/d... That dude in The Decemberists is somewhere nodding slowly... i am interested in everything Yes, and what's more celebs can finger anyone. I make a lot of unicode errors. it's cool You are lucky, for the #1 according to the first result I... OMG would have been great to see you. They aren't though. There's someone on Deviantart telling... The problem is panels. Both. I like NewsBlur quite a bit as an alternative, it... Really good long-term archives of feeds. If you have any questions, check out this F.A.Q. on... This might be the future. EULAPorn is next She had to make some hard choices and eating pizza also... Paul. Jacob. Margaret Atwood told us this day would come. Let's be honest: They're the best! Still runs on everything though. CMSes, Alex, I tell you. http://httpcolonforwardslashforwardslashwwwdotjenniferdaniel... Or you know, could be EITHER a sign-off or a directive. I like the way “**END CATMMUNICATION**” could be both a... Ulgh. This will happen in our lifetime. I stopped reading below the fold on Wikipedia, it's the... But why hasn't this generation produced its own Michael... It's so time for PA remake with Guttenberg cast in the... http://www.despair.com/this-conversation.html Pretty great! https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/445630605183946752 /cc... (jk it's howie kurtz) Boy are we, and I guess it's fine until banner ads get... It'd be easier if everything underneath it wasn't horribly... For me it's the weird combo of sort-of-functional and... I started skimming to docs today and got very worried. It's cool that you can keep lazily drinking kool-aid until... Wait what? Sure. Also, we're all in this ridiculous doofball future... I am out of office and will return in July. Are you counting the 19,000 pictures of standing desks? Oof. That's a lot. Haven't wanted a cigarette in a long time. perfect God, grip, not grid, fmbrain. The key grid supervises grip crews. She earned that after ten years as Hilarity Assistant to... Just, disaster. RIGHT? So good. My children had better love them or else. McKean knows what's up. The cycles will just get shorter and shorter until the... in any case that must have been a stupid amount of work and... my entire apartment building is just about to appreciate... Right? I don't even play guitar. God that is good he was the best. Sigh. Yes. Good article there, Ted. The preview is on YouTube; it's a classic.... Oh god Kieran I just made a sound like “aarurghgnesv” and... Oh god that stupid dog. I don't think we can stop it. I see the glass as being half full of measles. Actually made a face and recoiled from screen, indicating... “Most emailed” list here I come. The pictures on Facebook make me want to come visit! Can't... Then you pay for your gas and drive to church. You just press that chromed plastic lever atop the big... Just to be clear, Rusty is the other. i browse goodreads by typing tags directly into the URL bar... oh u wish leah. god this whole thread is starting to prove why you should... Sigh, me too. And what about Edward Herbert Lewis and his wonderful... But this has been going on forever. Computers make it... I mean if you are AGAINST nicely encoded open historical... —possible makes possible shit-hot digital variorum editions... http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/272874-chocolate-says-i-m-so... https://twitter.com/quirkyqueenx/status/395319194067034112 we're starting early if that helps it started working again can u make a analytics meeting at 2:30PM? will be over by... Exactly. I moved to the cultural capital of the world, not... I need the rough, burnt taste to imagine a more perfect and... Diet Coke and Parliaments: The Writer's Speedball. I gave up and started porting everything to clojurescript.... It is perplexing. A very important part of online cube culture. Shapes are tops in general. Tops are also shapes. I don't like it that much, so now I'm confused. http://platisher.com (A fundamental problem is that brilliant people doing great... I like it! I'd read it. It would need world-class editors... I should clarify here, by “really help” I'm assuming... Same here, an absolute highlight. Getting to “dammit” means my workday has finally ended,... Admire the way you restrained yourself from tweeting the... Cool story. At some level this is TED/Edge.org, isn't it? Brilliant... Oh thank God it was itching in my brain. (1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPlQpGeTbIE (2)... I also have some ideas as to CMS tooling that could REALLY... Don't know from half-drawn house, but this?... Leah it's 5PM on a Friday and you work at a paper, you... You know what might work? Readily available expert... Tons of exceptions, though (Oliver Sacks, etc.) Plus it doesn't pay and everyone tells you you suck all the... It is a good idea but in experience (1) they typically... It might be sophistry, i.e. “Any journalist who would... I am totally fine with tweet retconning. There is still plenty of 2014 to disappoint us, Leah. Whatever Floats Your Boat BARTON FINK Grand Hotel as one touchstone, and also this fun book:... Is there a calendar of theme cruises anywhere? Goddammit Charlie a man only has so much patience. I mean, you really can't go wrong with cruise ships, or big... No, no, I hadn't even hit the Greeks yet, I was actually... Jesus, Charlie, give a man a moment while he's tweeting... Oh whoa. This is now going to be a major part of the essay... I will follow up with some dates. It's super-close to BF... Yes, but nothing after “Dad Loves His Work.” One of my students-to-be asked if I could ask you and I was... He HAS to be known as Dr. Kitvorkian. I know, I know! But at the same time I like that they are... Sigh. Not until next week. Love Com Truise. just got home but let's hang out in bk I don't think that was me. (I mean, who knows, but nothing... pretty long couple of day Leah but I think I'm solid Austin actually I guess I'd better get my passport renewed so I can come... So long Jack! I really liked having you in this city. You can allude elliptically. No one will criticize you for... You know what's up. Oh wow GopherVR. It's been a while. I love the term “Creative Computing,” title of a... Heh, look at that. What do comedians hate these days? That... It is because I lived it. And also, if you did that, who would run the elevator? I don't know much, but I know not to eat cupcakes at Men's... A MOVIE I WOULD GLADLY PAY TO SEE. Did you find this on Larry Ellison's hard drive? whoa tim deep dad cut A good subtweet is a subtweet wrapped in a subtweet inside... It's how I relax. I wish I'd listened to my grandma when she told me to stay... Necessary and valuable prior to actually doing a thing! Nope! http://www.amazon.com/Quality-Assurance-Lucky-Springs-Series... This is actually how all of my advisory agreements are... “I will let you have equity if you just put on your pants... Jacob why are you sitting by yourself in this room? Their dad future or their media futures? I'm coming on Monday to #dodeals so #havefun. Speaking of money lost. Great panel teaser here Michael, definitely getting your... Will you actually be there or is this a cruel joke? We should grab @rusty and start a band called the... No one wins if we play this game. Guys. Serious inquiries only. We can discuss anywhere! I'm only out for Mon/Tue, otherwise I would totally drink... Say hi, I'll be driving a pedicab. It's too late for me Joel. Did you have to choose that name because there was another... We can gchat about this any time. Okay. I truly keep meaning to, actually. Nice period before my handle, really looking forward to... We'll be there 10th and 11th, I'm ford@ftrain.com. Looking... Come find me and @richziade. It's the platform we're... We have bots to do that now. It may not be snowing but VCs will definitely be MAKING IT... Whoa! Just a little product placement to brighten your Tuesday... I get confused unless there are smart quotes... http://www.movietriggers.com/movies/4793 You see one, and you know there are 192 messages therein,... Trigger warnings are so useful for knowing which... The ratio felt about right to me. Is “newsletting” a thing yet? Let's parse together. Typical teen. Former locally; latter geopolitically. “the vast majority of your programming work involves text... Exactly. real estate anywhere else Look at this insane beautiful weirdo artifact:... Peter! It's true, they make the best life-sized puppets. Exactly, you get me. One iceberg could solve a lot of problems. When you feel down, try this: (1) Search for “Gerry... Crossed my mind. The good news is that there is finally something on the... Going. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bjl1P9rCYAA6OLT.jpg I'm alone an express bus with 180 gigs of PDFs on a hard... I'm the only passenger on an express bus in midtown, this... I wrote this for the New Yorker & the idea I like is... What if tomorrow Google doesn't do an April Fools' joke and... “The clashes of desolation and glory that are so vivid in... “PLEASE HELP! Unfortunately someone near by has named their... Oh wow, those were good times. According to this essay, things would be a lot better if... “NBCU will be keeping their archives but not making them... I owe the world an email. This was a good account while it lasted:... Spotify has a playlist called “Throwback Thursday“ with... Is there a scientific explanation anywhere for the thing... Man, I bet the next Coldplay album is going to have soaring... Barbershop tech talk: (1) “Apple is garbage.” (2) “Apple is... “What should we call this talk radio show with Bruce... “Why is the woman shooting milk from her bra made of tiger... Doing complex many-table connected inserts into Postgresql... Max! It's all good, we're just kinda working it out... Mostly I read old articles I wrote and want to drink myself... “You can’t blame users for being hooting primates when a... Why do bros make a monkey face and then point at things... No one over the age of three should say “celebs.” “Celebs” is a word like “balls” or “blog” where the voiced... Celebs can now tail apache logs directly using sudo tail -f... city where winter over places where life better less expensive “‘It’s going to take a while to get that train off that... There are 20 or 30 years of familiarity and kindness left... That's sense is still here, nestled inside HTML5 and... I went to a @TheMorningNews event at Housing Works tonight... oh wow that was NOT the hashtag I type Twitter did that I'm wide awake. And now it's clear to me. That everything... Anyway I'm off to read the newsletters wedged in between... A Tumblr of products with great warranties... I love that people think following your passion is somehow... Yes. But I see it as a feature. “Well, you have to understand that [these pizzas are] all... Don't make me block you. “Wealthy men flocked to the south of France to have tissue... “He owns more hoodies than books, more hoodies than there... “In 2010, he founded the Stanford Literary Lab, which is... Typical for a government software project, actually. It's amazing how many people still haven't upgraded from... “‘This is racism 2.0.’” http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/22/us... “‘Tender age in bloom,’ sang Kurt Cobain, who did not live... “‘Shelly said: ‘Are you crazy? We’ve got enough low income... “I saw them right after Slanted and Enchanted at the Uptown... Generation X Action Movie: An man enters a windowless room... Millennial action movie: “We can stop them from blowing up... Millennial action movies. Everyone cries during... “So Monday came and this smoking-hot mess landed in his lap... The textboxes keep getting better but the words all stay... That solves a truly grisly problem in an extensible, open... “Unhappy with existing solutions, we built and open sourced... https://discover.twitter.com/first-tweet#Choire Non-young lady on the cover of a national business weekly!... It feels like they married a sailboat (Clojure) to a... I honestly can't tell whether ClojureScript is very useful... “In his talk on building JavaScript libraries, Dmitry... “I wrote an average of 5 posts a day, churning out nearly... If web copy were honest nearly every magazine site could... “Click here to justify our valuation.” 1953 March of Time (video) “The Kremlin's Problem People:... So good: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltbbxsFS7m1qj7u8a... I wish there was a way we could all hang out and hash out... Yeah they SAY it's happening but what will really happen is... I understood from the book that they were America's true... http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2010/08/bookspot... I always think of the baseball games in “The Great Brain”... Hey @adrianholovaty that sheet music thing is AWESOME... “The Shock of Schlock: Why understanding Thomas Kinkade's... Kinkade's death (valium, booze, squalid) is a good hook for... Suggested title: “More Than Light: Giving Thomas Kinkade's... Had a glass of wine and realized: Just about time for the... Everyone should study the hubanities. I like the way this text refers to itself, it reminds me of... hope for you then You are always derailed, the concept of railing is a social... I don't know, this is at LEAST as useless as deconstruction. Sure, but there are lots of calm optimistic rational nerdy... Boo it's another angle on lit and has plenty of pre-digital... If they don't willingly spend adolescence dissecting... A hedgehog says one big thing, but the fox says... It's easily answered too. Spring will start in July. As is "when does winter end 2014," "so always cold always"... What Time is the Spring? Are you wondering, "what time does... I changed my vacation email message to read “I'd love to... There is a powerful, proven inverse relationship between a... Cheap burnt bodega coffee has true restorative powers. I... “Prince Rupert wagered a hole could be cut through a cube... The Lövheim Cube of Emotion is a real idea put forth in... One thing you learn from reading about cubes is that there... Cubes teach us to see that there may be many sides to... Actually I phrased that poorly because cubes always have... Oh my, the Wikipedia page on cubes is completely insane,... A cube is square parallelepiped! A seal is a kind of... I just got home and caught up on Internet and now I hate... James Mickens provides a friendly, high-level overview of... Why stop there? It appears that every generation must rediscover Perl... There was a new ceo album and no one told me, so it's cool... “One case of measles can pose a huge public health threat,... I hear America sighing. “Vox will be ‘hiring journalists who really know the topics... “To party this hard takes genuine effort, and community.”... “The Rum Runner is probably the most popular and effective... Actually Twitter is supposed to look like a mountain... Of course there are zillions of precedents—Katherine Anne... Note that DFW's essay (96) appeared one year before Titanic... If I were an editor I'd assign a critical history of... “I also do my most productive security designs while having... “This was the second annual Steampunk cruise to the... Will you come talk to my Content Strategy class at SVA on a... “As one journalist of color put it to me, ‘Why don’t you... “Complementary flaws is one of the shared values.”... “I hate myself because I fucking check myself while... With whom are you arguing? “‘Talking to a human is so weird!’ came the reply.”... Leaving SxSW on Sunday is the new launching your startup at... “They all want to be first to any story, even if their... “GopherVR displaying the major works of author William S.... The parallel universe where the virtual reality version of... “How I Will Always See Satoshi Nakamoto” (illustration)... I wish I could unfollow myself. I've been thinking it may be time to prune. “‘There were really dope people, and I really like... They just offered me a cupcake at Men's Wearhouse. How do... It's hilariously telling that before it became a Bitcoin... I've forgotten more about Keppel and Underwood's proactive... The Internet sees ambiguity as damage and routes around it. “Big scoops are dangerous things.”... No back in the day you just worked on something for months... I have eaten/the shit/that was in/the vending... “To me, pickup seems innocuous to other methods of snagging... Sick Trap Bucketheads https://soundcloud.com/duwell/duwell-s... I will be attending in my unironic capacity. Anyway if you are curious about powerful APIs for the... One of the things you learn as an adult Internet... “We would like you to attend SxSW for the company,” they... “‘In the end, it is more important that the finish be... “Aesthetically, artistically, and ideologically, Black... “He was born in 1930 and for his generation...Lake Erie was... “Hath not a patent troll hands, organs, dimensions, senses,... “Close down the zoos!” http://greenfriar.com/five-good-zoos-... Especially if they like hot dogs. “I learned that *trolls love Movie Triggers*!”... This is the way the world ends, Not with a bang nor a... “Nice Guy” http://www.movietriggers.com/movies/21493 “Topophobia” MovieTriggers is a helpful site:... Maybe we should just abolish the humanities and start over... What the world needs now is this essay about how Auden was... Imagine not caring, though. Imagine thinking thoughts like:... “How common it was to find a dedicated anti-fascist who... “Choire and Alex are tired, broken men who have taken this... Go ahead and make jokes about old media dinosaurs. That piece includes video of a trilobite scientist singing... The NYTimes and its dramas can exhaust a person, but every... “‘If you act like an illiterate man, your learning will... “He created a ‘uterus’ from a football bladder by punching... March came in like a dick and I don't care how it goes out. Might be time to reboot the servers.... He should press a salt charges. $_=~ s/c//; Which brings us full circle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=... Here is what Millennials are doing while you newslet in... It was the historian Charles Beard who predicted Oscar... “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of... I drank a ton of bourbon and now I am torrenting Wikipedia. Teen Nietzsche. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Nietzsche1... No one at Success Theater is willing to produce my plays. Some days I can accept what happened, and that change is... As a parent in the Internet age I want to know: How do I... What I love isn't the disruptive stuff. It's the small... I guarantee if you are not following your passion you are... Imagine if site copy were honest. “Sign up for relentless... Web 4.0 will just be complaining. All this time I thought I was unfollowing everyone else,... Satoshi Nakamoto is an anagram for Aha! Stoat Kimonos, I... I wonder if teen girl spiders feel terrible pressure to... I am so ready to quit this horrible industry the minute I... Right now someone somewhere is working on something great...