Ftrain, by Paul Ford

January 2014

Jan 31, 2014

Don't pretend you already knew about Quadron unless you're...

Don't pretend you already knew about Quadron unless you're Belgian maybe.
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Jan 31, 2014

That's how you learn about things like:...

That's how you learn about things like: youtube.com/...
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Jan 31, 2014

The Whitney produced a respectful farewell to a deceased...

The Whitney produced a respectful farewell to a deceased security guard whitney.org/...
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Jan 31, 2014

“‘Is there some homework you should be doing?’”...

“‘Is there some homework you should be doing?’” nytimes.com/...
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Jan 31, 2014

“Forgoing hard work is a mark of arrogance, which leads to...

“Forgoing hard work is a mark of arrogance, which leads to complacency, which leads to intergenerational decline.” nytimes.com/...
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Jan 30, 2014

rusty i just read this thing about your media diet and they...

rusty i just read this thing about your media diet and they really edited it for length?
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Jan 30, 2014

its a very valid question given that it's an Adobe product....

@jackrusher its a very valid question given that it's an Adobe product. Huh.
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Jan 30, 2014

for some reason I imagined the camera cutting to Rupert who...

@mulegirl @monteiro @karenmcgrane for some reason I imagined the camera cutting to Rupert who is also tweeting, and making a chorfle noise
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Jan 30, 2014

if the cave is too dark how will you read magazines?

@karenmcgrane @monteiro if the cave is too dark how will you read magazines?
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Jan 30, 2014

I'm sorry you guys hate interfaces.

I'm sorry you guys hate interfaces.
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Jan 30, 2014

HEY TEAM! Here's a thing I wrote about history for Wired...

HEY TEAM! Here's a thing I wrote about history for Wired available in convenient page-view PDFlike format! contentviewer.adobe.com/...
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Jan 30, 2014

orrrrrrr we could ask them to "take" most of humanity just...

@tcarmody orrrrrrr we could ask them to "take" most of humanity just a thought not committed
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Jan 30, 2014

tim seriously are you and me too amazing to live on this...

@tcarmody tim seriously are you and me too amazing to live on this planet or what?
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Jan 30, 2014

At some level isn't “Her” just the prequel to Battlestar...

At some level isn't “Her” just the prequel to Battlestar Galactica?
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Jan 30, 2014

when i snapped their necks I said "and over to you, God."

@rustyk5 when i snapped their necks I said "and over to you, God."
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Jan 30, 2014

yeah kind of a nice moment for everyone tbh

@rustyk5 yeah kind of a nice moment for everyone tbh
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Jan 30, 2014

i'm sorry i said so very sorry but rusty wills it and...

@rustyk5 i'm sorry i said so very sorry but rusty wills it and actually since they all read from TelePrompTer all day they understood
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Jan 30, 2014

no it's too late i killed five anchorpeople on your orders

@rustyk5 no it's too late i killed five anchorpeople on your orders
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Jan 30, 2014

Lotta mutual friends in this mean ol world

@brianvan Lotta mutual friends in this mean ol world
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Jan 30, 2014

I am sorry I gendered mentorbot

@leahfinnegan I am sorry I gendered mentorbot
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Jan 30, 2014

oh no brian having known people on both sides of that it is...

@brianvan oh no brian having known people on both sides of that it is EXACTLY what that situation looks like
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Jan 30, 2014

it was the overall squick and squirm and general ulgh that...

@leahfinnegan it was the overall squick and squirm and general ulgh that makes this so ACCURATE.
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Jan 30, 2014

until he reboots and mistakes you for an enemy

@leahfinnegan until he reboots and mistakes you for an enemy
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Jan 30, 2014

“The web was an open place where we shared everything.”...

“The web was an open place where we shared everything.” theguardian.com/...
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Jan 30, 2014

“I've pulled back from sharing my first impressions of...

“I've pulled back from sharing my first impressions of everyone I meet in a long-form poem on my web site each night” theguardian.com/...
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Jan 30, 2014

For aging media dudes who contemplate turning their...

For aging media dudes who contemplate turning their mentorships into affairs this is what it looks like: medium.com/...
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Jan 30, 2014

we gave thousands of people the gift of humility. no wonder...

@spladow @cwarzel @mat we gave thousands of people the gift of humility. no wonder they see us as monsters.
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Jan 30, 2014

all unfollows are equal. to be unfollowed is to be cast...

@spladow @cwarzel @mat all unfollows are equal. to be unfollowed is to be cast back into undifferentiated humanity. thus the fury and pain.
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Jan 29, 2014

Do you think God looks around sometimes and feels really...

Do you think God looks around sometimes and feels really guilty about his God privilege?
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Jan 29, 2014

that quarternions tweet was awesome

@bizweekgraphics that quarternions tweet was awesome
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Jan 29, 2014

you spelled quarternions right but you shit the bed on...

@bizweekgraphics you spelled quarternions right but you shit the bed on “word” i swear to god
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Jan 29, 2014

kendall please do not kill me

@kendall kendall please do not kill me
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Jan 29, 2014

well, i don't go to the bronx or staten island

@tomcoates @globalmoxie well, i don't go to the bronx or staten island
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Jan 29, 2014

forgot it was a type of car

@rustyk5 forgot it was a type of car
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Jan 29, 2014

factchecking https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/4285406787761...

factchecking twitter.com/...
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Jan 29, 2014

or just cutting out the middleman and shitting your pants

@mulegirl or just cutting out the middleman and shitting your pants
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Jan 29, 2014

Good Morning everyone, “Family Cloth” is what the Pacific...

Good Morning everyone, “Family Cloth” is what the Pacific Northwest calls reusable toilet paper frugallivingnw.com/...
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Jan 28, 2014

Cool more war

Cool more war
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Jan 28, 2014

In nine years America will be able to celebrate 100 years...

In nine years America will be able to celebrate 100 years of not passing the Equal Rights Amendment.
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Jan 28, 2014

oh it works you just need to subscribe to get the...

@harper oh it works you just need to subscribe to get the downloadable PDF version of savepublishing
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Jan 28, 2014

five bucks on “strong”

five bucks on “strong”
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Jan 28, 2014

thank you--appreciate the work involved

@hyperpape thank you--appreciate the work involved
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Jan 28, 2014

“Scream all you want but you aren't moving until your...

“Scream all you want but you aren't moving until your diaper is on,” is what I told a child just now, and also how serial killers are made.
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Jan 28, 2014

thanks for letting me to today in tabs those three times RT...

thanks for letting me to today in tabs those three times RT @rustyk5 *frantically checks your timeline*
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Jan 28, 2014

i always saw them as the fisting of retweets

@rustyk5 i always saw them as the fisting of retweets
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Jan 28, 2014

lol i felt guilty about the bad formatting

@brianvan lol i felt guilty about the bad formatting
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Jan 28, 2014

I cleaned up that Clojure thing from this morning and put...

I cleaned up that Clojure thing from this morning and put it into org-mode with a Github repo under the MIT License github.com/...
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Jan 28, 2014

“But let me assure you, I will neither confirm nor deny...

“But let me assure you, I will neither confirm nor deny it.” untraceableblog.com
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Jan 28, 2014

Which is still shorter than the equivalent Java.

Which is still shorter than the equivalent Java.
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Jan 28, 2014

I took 38 lines of Clojure by @jackrusher and turned them...

I took 38 lines of Clojure by @jackrusher and turned them into ~5,000 words of explication (now completed) gist.github.com/...
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Jan 28, 2014

The Library of Congress catalog schema knows things, man.

@matthew_power @Harpers The Library of Congress catalog schema knows things, man.
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Jan 27, 2014

always with, alas. that kind of crazy is a giant graph...

@harrisj always with, alas. that kind of crazy is a giant graph diagram and all the nodes connect to a big red J
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Jan 27, 2014

Now THERE'S a tweet, Harris.

@harrisj Now THERE'S a tweet, Harris.
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Jan 27, 2014

i'm glad you found an organization where your views are...

@leahfinnegan i'm glad you found an organization where your views are welcomed, leah
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Jan 27, 2014

“Hold on, there's an editor here who can help you."...

“Hold on, there's an editor here who can help you." [TRANSFER x420] "Hello?" [CLICK].
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Jan 27, 2014

Random memory: A woman would call Harper's insisting we...

Random memory: A woman would call Harper's insisting we publish her piece on Bill Gates and Jews, and we'd transfer her to each other.
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Jan 27, 2014

I know it's hard to hear a firm “no,” but I'm open to...

@harrisj @kjhealy I know it's hard to hear a firm “no,” but I'm open to future pitches. Good luck with your tweet!
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Jan 27, 2014

we've got the whole thing bootstrapped and all we need is a...

@danielpunkass we've got the whole thing bootstrapped and all we need is a boat
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Jan 27, 2014

my startup pitch is special network filter that keeps...

my startup pitch is special network filter that keeps anyone over age 70 from writing letters to the editor
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Jan 27, 2014

god i love the sound as the propeller bites into their...

@harrisj @kjhealy god i love the sound as the propeller bites into their backs VROOOOOoooommmvrrooooomm PHFHFDHDFHSHDVHSD
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Jan 27, 2014

god if i could just get through this series a round maybe i...

god if i could just get through this series a round maybe i could run someone over in a boat and kill them
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Jan 27, 2014

rich people aren't like you and me because they can kill a...

rich people aren't like you and me because they can kill a french dude with their boats and then complain about the $10,000 fine
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Jan 27, 2014

it's total boss level dgaf

@kendall it's total boss level dgaf
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Jan 27, 2014

seriously killing a man with your boat in france and then...

@kendall seriously killing a man with your boat in france and then complaining that it cost you $10,000 is HOW HE ROLLS
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Jan 27, 2014

right and he COMPLAINED about it

@kendall right and he COMPLAINED about it
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Jan 27, 2014

i dunno i mean he DID commit manslaughter with his boat

@kendall i dunno i mean he DID commit manslaughter with his boat
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Jan 27, 2014

A little point of view called THE LAW.

A little point of view called THE LAW.
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Jan 27, 2014

“‘But whether we use images X or Y, there will be traffic...

“‘But whether we use images X or Y, there will be traffic to the site. But I can see their point of view.’” theatlantic.com/...
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Jan 27, 2014

Heh. I've been loving it. It has been teaching me an awful...

@timbray Heh. I've been loving it. It has been teaching me an awful lot about data that I'd missed before. Then again I loved XSLT2.
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Jan 27, 2014

it's pretty much all I want to do in life, tbh

@mathpunk it's pretty much all I want to do in life, tbh
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Jan 27, 2014

If you are using JavaScript in a web browser, and you don't...

If you are using JavaScript in a web browser, and you don't see a dancing monkey, then the dancing monkey is you.
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Jan 27, 2014

“The by-design purpose of JavaScript was to make the monkey...

“The by-design purpose of JavaScript was to make the monkey dance when you moused over it.” programmers.stackexchange.com/...
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Jan 27, 2014

all right @jackrusher I think I understand this now and...

all right @jackrusher I think I understand this now and have annotated it at about 10x the length of the code gist.github.com/...
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Jan 27, 2014

i just learned something!

@jackrusher i just learned something!
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Jan 27, 2014

“‘Chicago: Be your own Boss.’” http://www.holovaty.com/writi...

“‘Chicago: Be your own Boss.’” holovaty.com/...
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Jan 27, 2014

guys sheesh the link is here https://medium.com/editors-pick...

guys sheesh the link is here medium.com/... couldn't you just google dinosaur erotica eggers like I do EVERY SINGLE MORNING?
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Jan 27, 2014

no it's just that permanent URLs sometimes pay the price in...

@mulegirl no it's just that permanent URLs sometimes pay the price in exchange for the infinite scroll
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Jan 27, 2014

argh wrong dinosaur erotica piece it's here...

argh wrong dinosaur erotica piece it's here medium.com/...
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Jan 27, 2014

guys when you told me about your release schedule i thought...

@clockwerks guys when you told me about your release schedule i thought it meant something VERY different
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Jan 27, 2014

oh god you're right

@Devindra oh god you're right
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Jan 27, 2014

“When I saw the Vox CMS I laughed with pleasure,” said the...

“When I saw the Vox CMS I laughed with pleasure,” said the journalist. “But when they demonstrated the dildonics plugin I wept with joy.”
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Jan 27, 2014

What the hell even IS the Vox CMS? Is it software or more...

What the hell even IS the Vox CMS? Is it software or more of like a sort of content masseuse to which you whisper story ideas?
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Jan 26, 2014

Millennials don't even know that Hard to Say I'm Sorry was...

Millennials don't even know that Hard to Say I'm Sorry was a hit for Chicago BEFORE it was a hit for Az Yet.
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Jan 26, 2014

the best Chicago was VI just want to put that out there

the best Chicago was VI just want to put that out there
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Jan 26, 2014

humans. every time.

@jackrusher humans. every time.
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Jan 25, 2014

you're at least half human. I actually imagine you kind of...

@katienotopoulos you're at least half human. I actually imagine you kind of chimeraey, perched on a high building and...waiting
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Jan 25, 2014

Good point!

@mwiik Good point!
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Jan 25, 2014

starting in their mid 30s programmers seem to sigh a lot

@lojikil @sdbo starting in their mid 30s programmers seem to sigh a lot
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Jan 25, 2014

i swear to god these guys have been killing it for 40 years...

@vruba i swear to god these guys have been killing it for 40 years now it's insane
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Jan 25, 2014

charlie it only has 42 pages are you trying to break my...

@vruba charlie it only has 42 pages are you trying to break my brain
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Jan 25, 2014

Either way I don't understand a damn thing, so I might as...

Either way I don't understand a damn thing, so I might as well pick the one prepared in LaTeX with the code samples.
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Jan 25, 2014

One of the big life lessons of getting serious about...

One of the big life lessons of getting serious about programming is that I should read the original papers, not the online arguments.
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Jan 25, 2014

“We want people to linger, and there’s no technical trick...

“We want people to linger, and there’s no technical trick to that.” medium.com/...
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Jan 25, 2014

The web has so much pig, sometimes you just want to sit...

The web has so much pig, sometimes you just want to sit down and savor some longpig.
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Jan 25, 2014

not enough that's for sure

not enough that's for sure
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Jan 25, 2014

Twitter, how many nematodes are there? RT @hyperpape Wait,...

Twitter, how many nematodes are there? RT @hyperpape Wait, I may have been wrong. Can you ask Twitter how many nematodes there are?
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Jan 25, 2014

one good thing about IPv6 is that there will be an IP...

one good thing about IPv6 is that there will be an IP address for everything that once lived and we can finally have the internet of ghosts
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Jan 25, 2014

Ghost Detector for Android https://play.google.com/store/app...

Ghost Detector for Android play.google.com/...
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Jan 25, 2014

I can still hear the roar of the San Francisco mob and the...

I can still hear the roar of the San Francisco mob and the sound of champagne bottles shattering, on what was later known as Cristalnacht.
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Jan 25, 2014

five minutes for sure—email and will read later tonight...

@carywood @katekiefer five minutes for sure—email and will read later tonight after kids are in bed
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Jan 24, 2014

Any sufficiently complicated literate program contains an...

Any sufficiently complicated literate program contains an ad hoc, multi-page explanation of literate programming.
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Jan 24, 2014

Harsh of Steven Hawking to come out that there are no black...

Harsh of Steven Hawking to come out that there are no black holes right as the NYTimes publishes that Hillary cover nature.com/...
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Jan 24, 2014

a wide margin

@mat a wide margin
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Jan 24, 2014

that's the best tweet about pilcrows by a wide margin

@mat that's the best tweet about pilcrows by a wide margin
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Jan 24, 2014

mat how do you feel about pilcrows

@mat mat how do you feel about pilcrows
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Jan 24, 2014

oh whoa someone uploaded "john shade"'s four cantos from...

oh whoa someone uploaded "john shade"'s four cantos from pale fire to rapgenius #lyric" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://poetry.rapgenius.com/John-shade-pale-fire-a-poem-in-four-cantos-annotated#lyric
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Jan 24, 2014

is pale fire an app?

is pale fire an app?
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Jan 24, 2014

Man people¹ have opinions about everything.²

Man people¹ have opinions about everything.²
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Jan 24, 2014

“Let’s talk about Courtney Love.”...

“Let’s talk about Courtney Love.” theawl.com/...
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Jan 24, 2014

This short essay was in my head and I couldn't get it out...

This short essay was in my head and I couldn't get it out without writing it down medium.com/...
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Jan 24, 2014

“Curiously, ever since he learned to text, my dad and I...

“Curiously, ever since he learned to text, my dad and I have gotten a lot closer.” themorningnews.org/...
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Jan 24, 2014

two weeks doesn't seem long enough also BTW that was the...

@leahfinnegan @nzle @Womack two weeks doesn't seem long enough also BTW that was the 2014 TMN retreat
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Jan 24, 2014

NYC is maybe two inches of snow away from complete societal...

NYC is maybe two inches of snow away from complete societal breakdown.
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Jan 23, 2014

Hey thanks. Didn't know that was out!

@jakerluk Hey thanks. Didn't know that was out!
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Jan 23, 2014

“There are likely to be thousands of disease-ridden rats on...

“There are likely to be thousands of disease-ridden rats on board with no source of food except each other.” plymouthherald.co.uk/...
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Jan 23, 2014

god i love this musician http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCie...

god i love this musician youtube.com/...
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Jan 23, 2014

“Building an iOS app of any size is a daunting task.”...

“Building an iOS app of any size is a daunting task.” blog.readability.com/...
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Jan 23, 2014

i'll treasure our moments together and wish you only the...

@shani_o i'll treasure our moments together and wish you only the best things in life
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Jan 22, 2014

literally every train on this list is wrong

literally every train on this list is wrong
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Jan 22, 2014

just imagine Cosbyverse + Buffyverse and you can see that...

@shani_o just imagine Cosbyverse + Buffyverse and you can see that it has to has to happen
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Jan 22, 2014

i know but this version is SOOOOOO much more likely to have...

@shani_o i know but this version is SOOOOOO much more likely to have witchcraft given eonline.com/...
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Jan 22, 2014

man none of these pony girl websites have been updated...

man none of these pony girl websites have been updated since 1999
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Jan 22, 2014

My 3rd and final Tabs is done http://www.newsweek.com/today-...

My 3rd and final Tabs is done newsweek.com/... thanks to @rustyk5 for letting me care for Tabs while he did voluntary amputation
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Jan 22, 2014

but how will i...never actually call you...this makes...

@jackrusher but how will i...never actually call you...this makes perfect sense...does it run emacs
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Jan 22, 2014

“No one knows how many airlings there are, most likely not...

“No one knows how many airlings there are, most likely not a great many, whatever a great many means.” lightspeedmagazine.com/...
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Jan 21, 2014

oh god Kendall thank you because this book is kicking my ass

@kendall oh god Kendall thank you because this book is kicking my ass
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Jan 21, 2014

Today Newsweek tomorrow the Saturday Evening Post...

Today Newsweek tomorrow the Saturday Evening Post newsweek.com/...
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Jan 21, 2014

there is room for all in the character-counting bookmarklet...

@Gromble @daveliepmann there is room for all in the character-counting bookmarklet marketplace.
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Jan 21, 2014

“Let’s send the naked mole rats.”...

“Let’s send the naked mole rats.” medium.com/...
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Jan 21, 2014

Just turned in tomorrow's tabs for Today in Tabs, which I'd...

Just turned in tomorrow's tabs for Today in Tabs, which I'd link to but I think they're not running it? Mailing lists! Newsweek!
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Jan 20, 2014

sorry https://twitter.com/ftrain/status/425375280916471808/p...

sorry twitter.com/...
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Jan 19, 2014

yep this is a nightmare where anything I write will (1)...

@rustyk5 yep this is a nightmare where anything I write will (1) hurt the feelings of a personal friend and/or (2) reveal me as a bigot
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Jan 18, 2014

not for signed booties

@rustyk5 @jeb not for signed booties
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Jan 17, 2014

in real life just put down my beer and shook my head at the...

@mathowie @anildash in real life just put down my beer and shook my head at the screen
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Jan 17, 2014

I'm sorry; it's not cool to make that joke. Puns aren't...

I'm sorry; it's not cool to make that joke. Puns aren't funny, and litigation over typefaces is grotesque.
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Jan 17, 2014

If the H&FJ lawsuit goes to trial it will give new...

If the H&FJ lawsuit goes to trial it will give new meaning to leading the witness.
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Jan 17, 2014

it is my personal mission to decrease your circ by 60%.

@rustyk5 it is my personal mission to decrease your circ by 60%.
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Jan 16, 2014

fair question https://anildash.thinkup.com/?u=anildash&n=twi...

fair question anildash.thinkup.com
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Jan 16, 2014

“‘When two people follow each other, it’s a tacit...

“‘When two people follow each other, it’s a tacit acknowledgement that you value each other,’ he told me.” newsfeed.time.com/...
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Jan 16, 2014

eaaaat aaaaaa dicckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...

@rustyk5 @ckolderup eaaaat aaaaaa dicckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk eatadickeatadickeatadickeatadickeatadickeatadickeatadick
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Jan 16, 2014

“So as long as stores keep selling tape and NPR keeps...

“So as long as stores keep selling tape and NPR keeps streaming on demand, our challenges will be kept to a minimum.” kickstarter.com/...
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Jan 15, 2014

noooooo it's not for that it's for good people

@harrisj noooooo it's not for that it's for good people
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Jan 15, 2014

it's pretty and also will make me realize that i need to...

it's pretty and also will make me realize that i need to leave twitter forever but it really is tidy web software ftrain.thinkup.com
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Jan 15, 2014

oh my god what am i even doing

oh my god what am i even doing
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Jan 15, 2014

yeah this is about you adam

@abackstrom yeah this is about you adam
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Jan 15, 2014

should i just keep coming up with things five years ago...

should i just keep coming up with things five years ago because i have
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Jan 15, 2014

Man remember Links at http://harpers.org in 2009 where we'd...

Man remember Links at harpers.org in 2009 where we'd round up what we were reading in our IE7 tabs? harpers.org/...
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Jan 15, 2014

Remember when Doug Engelbart got up and showed us the...

Remember when Doug Engelbart got up and showed us the Mother of All Tabs?
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Jan 15, 2014

Do you want to sell sugared water for the rest of your...

Do you want to sell sugared water for the rest of your life? Because then you should work on the ad-driven web. That's basically what we do.
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Jan 15, 2014

what a world meaghan

@meaghano what a world meaghan
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Jan 15, 2014

“Mr. Hanrahan of Handybook said the deal would keep Exec...

“Mr. Hanrahan of Handybook said the deal would keep Exec intact and in San Francisco.” bits.blogs.nytimes.com/...
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Jan 15, 2014

i love glen too, the dead hero sunbather. i want to be...

i love glen too, the dead hero sunbather. i want to be glen. psmag.com/...
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Jan 15, 2014

this is such a great piece about toast and mental illness...

this is such a great piece about toast and mental illness and trends psmag.com/...
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Jan 15, 2014

“And webs of weak ties are what allow ideas to spread.”...

“And webs of weak ties are what allow ideas to spread.” psmag.com/...
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Jan 15, 2014

90% of the objects on the site would be reduced to...

@sjttocs 90% of the objects on the site would be reduced to splinters by my merest touch
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Jan 15, 2014

pinterest is the only website i've visited where you're...

pinterest is the only website i've visited where you're supposed to take your shoes off
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Jan 15, 2014

every time i end up on pinterest i'm worried i'm going to...

every time i end up on pinterest i'm worried i'm going to break something
➛
Jan 15, 2014

different plugin language (Sublime needs Python), different...

@lllxlxlxlxlll different plugin language (Sublime needs Python), different worlds, alas.
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Jan 14, 2014

it's responsive as long as you don't change any of the copy

it's responsive as long as you don't change any of the copy
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Jan 13, 2014

i mean jeeeeesus http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/13/opinion/k...

i mean jeeeeesus nytimes.com/...
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Jan 13, 2014

The New York Times would prefer it if you died behind a...

The New York Times would prefer it if you died behind a paywall.
➛
Jan 13, 2014

apparently it's kind of awesome

apparently it's kind of awesome
➛
Jan 13, 2014

“Here are some things that I learned about what it's really...

“Here are some things that I learned about what it's really like to seek casual sex as a forty year old fat chick.” alternet.org/...
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Jan 12, 2014

appears to be gone :(

@ffangohr appears to be gone :(
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Jan 12, 2014

“The question remains, why do people have such a high...

“The question remains, why do people have such a high regard for authors, even when they don’t read?” nybooks.com/... VERY GOOD QUEST
➛
Jan 12, 2014

“Why do we have this uncritical reverence for the published...

“Why do we have this uncritical reverence for the published writer?” nybooks.com/...
➛
Jan 12, 2014

“I didn’t go because it was free for me. I chose Cooper...

“I didn’t go because it was free for me. I chose Cooper Union because it was free for everyone.” blogs.reuters.com/...
➛
Jan 12, 2014

if a man is to be doxxed he should be doxxed correctly has...

@waxpancake @benfinoradin if a man is to be doxxed he should be doxxed correctly has always been my estimation
➛
Jan 12, 2014

i have no shame, i listened to PRISM for like a week hard...

@waxpancake @benfinoradin i have no shame, i listened to PRISM for like a week hard when it came out, but I have been badly doxxed sirs
➛
Jan 12, 2014

srsly i've been making this case but the lack of hedges is...

@jackrusher @maureenflaherty srsly i've been making this case but the lack of hedges is proving problematic
➛
Jan 12, 2014

yes but it happens to llamas

@paulkruczynski yes but it happens to llamas
➛
Jan 12, 2014

but this is not true! a couple songs, I think. it's been...

@benfinoradin but this is not true! a couple songs, I think. it's been mostly that burial album on repeat. algorithms I swear.
➛
Jan 11, 2014

“In order to keep your black clothes black, use a dark or...

“In order to keep your black clothes black, use a dark or colour clothing laundry detergent such as Dreft Dark.” —UK Goth Mini-FAQ
➛
Jan 11, 2014

but are they operated by llamas?

@tomcoates but are they operated by llamas?
➛
Jan 11, 2014

apparently hedgehogs do experience menopause according to...

apparently hedgehogs do experience menopause according to part six of the hedgehog faq so pretty much advantage llamas
➛
Jan 11, 2014

“Her-hog or Him-hog? What sex is Prickles?”

@vruba “Her-hog or Him-hog? What sex is Prickles?”
➛
Jan 11, 2014

“What is Berserk Male Syndrome?”

“What is Berserk Male Syndrome?”
➛
Jan 11, 2014

llama females never stop breeding according to...

llama females never stop breeding according to alt.animals.llama
➛
Jan 11, 2014

Q: Can you take them back-packing? THE ANSWER IS YES...

Q: Can you take them back-packing? THE ANSWER IS YES #llamafaq (inoffensive poop plus they're ruminants and have soft feet)
➛
Jan 11, 2014

The FAQ is the most useful protocol of them all, says a man...

The FAQ is the most useful protocol of them all, says a man who is reading the alt.animals.llama FAQ on a text-based newsreader.
➛
Jan 11, 2014

nah this feels like ham radio but with more v!@gr@ ads

@mwiik nah this feels like ham radio but with more v!@gr@ ads
➛
Jan 11, 2014

computers used to be separated by exclamation points...

computers used to be separated by exclamation points because things were exciting
➛
Jan 11, 2014

oh shit autoreflector just got in touch and my post to...

oh shit autoreflector just got in touch and my post to alt.test went through so many amazing machines
➛
Jan 11, 2014

just posted to alt.hypertext what do i have to lose

just posted to alt.hypertext what do i have to lose
➛
Jan 11, 2014

i mean urls were mapping to dns with TLDs at the end...

@alazyreader i mean urls were mapping to dns with TLDs at the end whereas usenet was about copying hierarchies over UUCP so HMMMM
➛
Jan 11, 2014

oh god there probably is a reason

@alazyreader oh god there probably is a reason
➛
Jan 11, 2014

somewhere the moderator of comp.sys.sgi.announce looks out...

somewhere the moderator of comp.sys.sgi.announce looks out his bay window and tries to forget the indy in the garage
➛
Jan 11, 2014

et tu, comp.*?

et tu, comp.*?
➛
Jan 11, 2014

“In the latest and last issue of IT Architecture magazine,...

“In the latest and last issue of IT Architecture magazine, March 3 2006”—the first post in comp.misc.microsoft.sucks
➛
Jan 11, 2014

good question! soulseek is still up I think.

@fromedome good question! soulseek is still up I think.
➛
Jan 11, 2014

just type slrn and you'll beeeee in a world of pure...

just type slrn and you'll beeeee in a world of pure imaginaslrn
➛
Jan 11, 2014

andre for real there is action in comp.mail.eudora

@torrez andre for real there is action in comp.mail.eudora
➛
Jan 11, 2014

it's like going to your home town after the zombie invasion...

it's like going to your home town after the zombie invasion but then you walk into the LISP and Amiga stores there's like two guys screaming
➛
Jan 11, 2014

any of you fellas ever have a couple drinks and think i...

any of you fellas ever have a couple drinks and think i wonder what's going on over on usenet
➛
Jan 11, 2014

see charlie? The world just gets better and better.

@vruba see charlie? The world just gets better and better.
➛
Jan 11, 2014

We all need this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjIPzyVlK60...

We all need this youtube.com/...
➛
Jan 10, 2014

Oh right this all works on my phone.

Oh right this all works on my phone.
➛
Jan 10, 2014

but before i go there's something very important--oh god...

but before i go there's something very important--oh god ten seconds--that i need to tell you
➛
Jan 10, 2014

the app i installed to monitor my twitter uses says i have...

the app i installed to monitor my twitter uses says i have only a minute left
➛
Jan 10, 2014

just remember that longform is really just a lot of...

just remember that longform is really just a lot of shortforms all together
➛
Jan 10, 2014

I have $100 in my pocket for the first essay about living...

I have $100 in my pocket for the first essay about living with depression that clocks in under 1,000 words.
➛
Jan 10, 2014

seriously my god enough everyone get back to lists

seriously my god enough everyone get back to lists
➛
Jan 10, 2014

oh yeah i know that channel its called #eugene and there's...

@eventi oh yeah i know that channel its called #eugene and there's only one nick whenever i join
➛
Jan 10, 2014

this is like the fun parts of work IRC

@eventi @rustyk5 this is like the fun parts of work IRC
➛
Jan 10, 2014

except if this was IRC it would be like “did the regression...

@eventi @rustyk5 except if this was IRC it would be like “did the regression suite not run last night because my dashboard”
➛
Jan 10, 2014

get some coffee and think it over

@rustyk5 get some coffee and think it over
➛
Jan 10, 2014

“I've considered the options and the only alternative to my...

@rustyk5 “I've considered the options and the only alternative to my tweet being kind of weak is that Paul Ford is from the future.” —Rusty
➛
Jan 10, 2014

rusty, occam's razor. i asked if the coffeeshop was closed...

@rustyk5 rusty, occam's razor. i asked if the coffeeshop was closed because your noam chomsky tweet indicated you really needed coffee.
➛
Jan 10, 2014

first of all i've been here for years

@harrisj @rustyk5 first of all i've been here for years
➛
Jan 10, 2014

could be the result of yelp hiring wizards

@rustyk5 could be the result of yelp hiring wizards
➛
Jan 10, 2014

i have at least one old oscillator i could sell

@harrisj @N3OX @rustyk5 i have at least one old oscillator i could sell
➛
Jan 10, 2014

lets get everyone together and throw a hamfest

@harrisj @N3OX @rustyk5 lets get everyone together and throw a hamfest
➛
Jan 10, 2014

how would that be different from now

@rustyk5 how would that be different from now
➛
Jan 10, 2014

coffeeshop was closed this morning huh

@rustyk5 coffeeshop was closed this morning huh
➛
Jan 9, 2014

“So no, Mom, don’t worry about that Internet underwear,...

“So no, Mom, don’t worry about that Internet underwear, whatever it was.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Jan 9, 2014

Have you heard ‘Bjarne Stroustrup (Original Mix)’ by 45 nm...

Have you heard ‘Bjarne Stroustrup (Original Mix)’ by 45 nm on #SoundCloud? soundcloud.com/...
➛
Jan 9, 2014

i'm just so, so sorry for surrounding this awesomeness...

i'm just so, so sorry for surrounding this awesomeness (motions to self) with such second-raters
➛
Jan 9, 2014

during his apology christie mentioned that he was once a...

during his apology christie mentioned that he was once a class president and an athlete, as if he were competing in the shitbag olympics
➛
Jan 9, 2014

“the sexist, racist, homophobic, witch-fearing world we...

“the sexist, racist, homophobic, witch-fearing world we live in”
➛
Jan 9, 2014

don't forward listserve emails to me i said i am done

don't forward listserve emails to me i said i am done
➛
Jan 9, 2014

Andrew for fuck's sake

@bn2b Andrew for fuck's sake
➛
Jan 9, 2014

you don't have to keep raising the stakes. they can be...

you don't have to keep raising the stakes. they can be awesome ideas that delight consumers. that's an okay goal too.
➛
Jan 9, 2014

one of the best ideas in the world is the germ theory of...

one of the best ideas in the world is the germ theory of disease but this wi-fi egg carton is cool too
➛
Jan 9, 2014

oh nothing just developing the best ideas in the world

oh nothing just developing the best ideas in the world
➛
Jan 9, 2014

Here is one of the best ideas in the world...

Here is one of the best ideas in the world quirky.com/...
➛
Jan 9, 2014

this is some next-level lying

@shani_o this is some next-level lying
➛
Jan 9, 2014

don't let the pigeon run new jersey

@michelet don't let the pigeon run new jersey
➛
Jan 9, 2014

actually at this point a pigeon is okay

@michelet actually at this point a pigeon is okay
➛
Jan 9, 2014

Fun to watch Christie throw his people under the bus even...

Fun to watch Christie throw his people under the bus even though the bus is stuck in traffic.
➛
Jan 8, 2014

twitter isn't the right place for this remember we said we...

@maureenflaherty @anildash twitter isn't the right place for this remember we said we would only fight on orkut
➛
Jan 8, 2014

we buy ten at a time because you keep losing them

@maureenflaherty @anildash we buy ten at a time because you keep losing them
➛
Jan 8, 2014

all tweets are subtweets

@dannosowitz all tweets are subtweets
➛
Jan 8, 2014

How's it going Dan

@ftrain How's it going Dan
➛
Jan 8, 2014

If DeBlasio really cared about helping New Yorkers through...

If DeBlasio really cared about helping New Yorkers through the cold snap he would give everyone a direwolf.
➛
Jan 8, 2014

What actually happens during the ten days it takes to...

What actually happens during the ten days it takes to unsubscribe me from an email newsletter?
➛
Jan 8, 2014

I look forward to hearing Bridget Anne Kelly's apology for...

I look forward to hearing Bridget Anne Kelly's apology for the Fort Lee traffic snarlups and hope she'll wear her dalmation-skin coat.
➛
Jan 8, 2014

“‘Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee,’ she...

“‘Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee,’ she emailed.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jan 8, 2014

wait does moth stand for middle of the homepage?

@ianadelman @harrisj wait does moth stand for middle of the homepage?
➛
Jan 8, 2014

it looks and runs great. i can only imagine the diplomacy...

@ianadelman @harrisj it looks and runs great. i can only imagine the diplomacy involved.
➛
Jan 8, 2014

I'm imagining fights over the NYT left nav. “You can't move...

I'm imagining fights over the NYT left nav. “You can't move it to the footer, it's like moving it to Queens!” [GLASS DOOR SLIDES SHUT.]
➛
Jan 8, 2014

There's a paywall to my heart and you just hit your...

There's a paywall to my heart and you just hit your ten-article limit.
➛
Jan 8, 2014

“Maybe instead of wearing a Nike Fuelband, my mules could...

“Maybe instead of wearing a Nike Fuelband, my mules could be suped up w/a little computer that tracks my activity.” elle.com/...
➛
Jan 7, 2014

Oh god all they do is honk things

@RachelFersh Oh god all they do is honk things
➛
Jan 7, 2014

yes! Some smacking is unavoidable.

@RachelFersh yes! Some smacking is unavoidable.
➛
Jan 7, 2014

“the hand-eye coordination and other neurological benefits...

“the hand-eye coordination and other neurological benefits of Baby DJ class are real” thevillager.com/...
➛
Jan 7, 2014

“But ‘Sex Sent Me to the ER’ aims much lower than whatever...

“But ‘Sex Sent Me to the ER’ aims much lower than whatever lowest common denominator you were anticipating.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jan 7, 2014

sure but it has wireless

@willystaley sure but it has wireless
➛
Jan 6, 2014

smart egg tray http://www.quirky.com/blog/post/2013/06/the-s...

smart egg tray quirky.com/...
➛
Jan 6, 2014

When routine bites hard, And ambitions are low. And...

@harrisj @silviakillings When routine bites hard, And ambitions are low. And resentment rides high, slides, slides will tear us apart
➛
Jan 6, 2014

“During quiet moments, if you listen carefully, you can...

“During quiet moments, if you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of Android fragmenting.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Jan 6, 2014

it'll be fine, people will feel hurt and it will remind...

@papertyger it'll be fine, people will feel hurt and it will remind them to hold tighter to the more important relationships in their lives
➛
Jan 6, 2014

“*Tomorrow:* We look at the new LG Panamax TV, which is so...

“*Tomorrow:* We look at the new LG Panamax TV, which is so large it functions as a container ship.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Jan 6, 2014

“A trademark violation siren just went off in the back of...

“A trademark violation siren just went off in the back of the hall.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Jan 6, 2014

“Security has ejected the seven attendees who did not have...

“Security has ejected the seven attendees who did not have Macbook Airs in their laps.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Jan 6, 2014

Lieblogging is like liveblogging but missing just one...

Lieblogging is like liveblogging but missing just one letter. businessweek.com/...
➛
Jan 6, 2014

jeff it's okay for things to have some extra words

@codinghorror jeff it's okay for things to have some extra words
➛
Jan 6, 2014

I like seeing non-nerds take on nerd stuff; it's...

I like seeing non-nerds take on nerd stuff; it's super-useful to remember how left out things like Glass can make people feel.
➛
Jan 6, 2014

I truly enjoyed reading @theodoreross's article about his...

I truly enjoyed reading @theodoreross's article about his quest to understand Google Glass. medium.com/...
➛
Jan 5, 2014

Beautiful post from a loving father about an amazing kid....

Beautiful post from a loving father about an amazing kid. meyerweb.com/...
➛
Jan 5, 2014

“‘I *have* to play with it *now* because it’s for kids who...

“‘I *have* to play with it *now* because it’s for kids who are eight years old AND I’M *NEVER GONNA BE EIGHT!!!*’” meyerweb.com/...
➛
Jan 3, 2014

do a post without embedding a tweet i dare you

do a post without embedding a tweet i dare you
➛
Jan 3, 2014

this is like listening to stereo nerds talk about gold...

@richziade @maureenflaherty this is like listening to stereo nerds talk about gold audio cables
➛
Jan 3, 2014

Hashtag #pourover is a terrible and powerful hashtag.

Hashtag #pourover is a terrible and powerful hashtag.
➛
Jan 3, 2014

My wife just asked me how to create the smuggest possible...

My wife just asked me how to create the smuggest possible coffee tweet. “You put the dot in front of the name, right?”
➛
Jan 2, 2014

Way way before infinity

@tomhanlon Way way before infinity
➛
Jan 2, 2014

his ♡ was going like mad and y I said y I will y

his ♡ was going like mad and y I said y I will y
➛
Jan 2, 2014

right this is true the goal is ever-greater misattribution

@clockwerks right this is true the goal is ever-greater misattribution
➛
Jan 2, 2014

i'm assessing 2013 In My Writing and finding it very lack...

i'm assessing 2013 In My Writing and finding it very lack so that was just a total bright spot, tx indifferent cultural repurposers ilu
➛
Jan 2, 2014

nooooo don't want to bring any attention to it it's perfect

@tomhanlon nooooo don't want to bring any attention to it it's perfect
➛
Jan 2, 2014

even better, mis-attributed in a tumblr theme demo tumblr,...

even better, mis-attributed in a tumblr theme demo tumblr, incorrectly woven into the global fabric of nonsense, wear sunscreen
➛
Jan 2, 2014

i know that writers are supposed to be all YOU STOLE MY...

i know that writers are supposed to be all YOU STOLE MY WORK but nothing cheers me up like seeing something i did mis-attributed on tumblr
➛
Jan 2, 2014

“Much of the art circulating online is a response to...

“Much of the art circulating online is a response to artists’ living in a world full of brands, micro and macro.” thenewinquiry.com/...
➛
Jan 2, 2014

will the times snowfall the snowfall?

will the times snowfall the snowfall?
➛
Jan 2, 2014

i love that i can still unfollow people with it, even if i...

@donohoe @harrisj @timespeople i love that i can still unfollow people with it, even if i can't add content. it's the perfect network.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

I feel for people who will never know even one timesfollow

@anildash @mathowie @timespeople I feel for people who will never know even one timesfollow
➛
Jan 2, 2014

right? it might have been really interesting to keep that...

@harrisj @timespeople right? it might have been really interesting to keep that around for times like these but hindsight etc.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

Imagine if @timespeople was still a going thing.

Imagine if @timespeople was still a going thing.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

“Readers will be able to post comments throughout articles...

“Readers will be able to post comments throughout articles and view those comments alongside articles.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jan 2, 2014

thank you, you friendly foundry.

@H_FJ thank you, you friendly foundry.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

they get special disposable laptops that they just throw...

@dbreunig they get special disposable laptops that they just throw away every week
➛
Jan 2, 2014

it's my go-to outfit for meetings

@tcarmody @harrisj it's my go-to outfit for meetings
➛
Jan 2, 2014

love that let's keep that narrative going

@tcarmody love that let's keep that narrative going
➛
Jan 2, 2014

many raccoons died to bring us this weather report jacob

@harrisj @rustyk5 many raccoons died to bring us this weather report jacob
➛
Jan 2, 2014

it never even gets to that point i just come back later

@dbreunig it never even gets to that point i just come back later
➛
Jan 2, 2014

what did you say

@tcarmody what did you say
➛
Jan 2, 2014

it'll be that here too in a couple hours but with eight...

@rustyk5 @harrisj it'll be that here too in a couple hours but with eight million angry people who will collectively deny that it happened
➛
Jan 2, 2014

so basically my goal for 2014 is to have one daydream where...

so basically my goal for 2014 is to have one daydream where i'm awesome
➛
Jan 2, 2014

oh that is perfect fantasy fuel right there, that's like my...

@user24 oh that is perfect fantasy fuel right there, that's like my skyrim
➛
Jan 2, 2014

But the devs all hate me by the end of the daydream and one...

But the devs all hate me by the end of the daydream and one of them convinces me to port to IronPython and the other two skip standups
➛
Jan 2, 2014

agile with snow

@harrisj agile with snow
➛
Jan 2, 2014

don't sell yourself short, it's not just the stars

@harrisj don't sell yourself short, it's not just the stars
➛
Jan 2, 2014

Most of my daydreams are either: (1) How would I survive in...

Most of my daydreams are either: (1) How would I survive in a very cold environment? Or (2) what could I do with three F/T clojure/js devs?
➛
Jan 2, 2014

you're like a lullaby

@harrisj you're like a lullaby
➛
Jan 2, 2014

Because if I could imagine then I'd be capable of having...

Because if I could imagine then I'd be capable of having those fantasies.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

I've heard and read that some people have fantasies where...

I've heard and read that some people have fantasies where they are cool and successful, and people like them, but I can't even imagine.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

They're always really nice and sympathetic about how...

They're always really nice and sympathetic about how nervous I am but come on they're a little horrified that someone could care about this.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

And then it always turns into this awkward fantasy where I...

And then it always turns into this awkward fantasy where I have to explain firmware updates to Beyoncé, or Minecraft to Mary J. Blige.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

Also it's kind of obvious Cumberbatch's left nostril has a...

@shani_o @rustyk5 Also it's kind of obvious Cumberbatch's left nostril has a better agent than his right.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

I think they did pretty well given that the original script...

@rustyk5 @shani_o I think they did pretty well given that the original script for the episode was just the word “Squee!” 2,000 times.
➛
Jan 2, 2014

When I listen to music by celebrities I think about what...

When I listen to music by celebrities I think about what I'm doing in terms of them. “I wonder if Beyoncé has to update her own firmware.”
➛
Jan 1, 2014

“Thank you, Rev. Fred Lucas Jr., Rabbi Joseph Potasnik,...

“Thank you, Rev. Fred Lucas Jr., Rabbi Joseph Potasnik, Monsignor Robert Romano, and Imam Askia Muhammad.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jan 1, 2014

good reason to have kids too

good reason to have kids too
➛
Jan 1, 2014

“Who knows? The dog you save might just be the next great...

“Who knows? The dog you save might just be the next great meme.” theverge.com/...
➛
Dec 31, 2013

Don't Let the Pigeon Pursue Appeasement

Don't Let the Pigeon Pursue Appeasement
➛
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