November 2013 BY Paul Ford 2013 543 Sections i mean CSS has these native animations oh god what have i the merit class I love when features do sounds. [set adrift on memory bliss music cue right here] much later, and then it's just "worst comes to worst" on... i'm grateful for you leah it's okay let's calm down we've all had a scareola proud to be on the mule network shani would buzzfeed let me rank menstrual cups it would be... omg telling women which one they should choose, pting out... INDEED we are not for caves tim and me can actually talk keeper vs diva vs softcup so whoa wow free 14 day trial...so thirsty...easiest way to...mom i'm so tired of this podcast i just want to go home when... u ever get drunk and point to stinging insects and say u s b oh my god anil why did y real artists ship I'm writing a story about the love between an overclocked... [looks left, nods, exits studio] jeesh mike stop trolling for a mailbox invite 40 makers and a mule but daniel nothing stops the screaming or quad city djs nah that's just chatter. maybe, like, a sporty thievs... i had to get rainboots on the kids this morning and since... wow i'm too tired to bust on you properly anil emotional space has been there 1991 remember having one computer and you'd compile the kernel... you just described my 1997 why not CodePlex? visicalc works, hi max! https://archive.org/stream/VisiCalc_... actually it needs to be an app no one even knows what docs... up close and horrible this could all have been avoided if they had just used javascript optimizers, ignore korean banking at your peril shocking oversight yeah but what a relief to everyone else seriously i am like a heroic father of the adam smith... well but wait i kind of bet that's a very very complicated... let's change the subject back to tech what's your favorite... wow when it comes to that joke you're like the only person... i sure hope so because I hate seeing our neighborhoods fall... just use my name jack this joke involves too many wikipedia lookups the strange sloshing sound the mayor, presiding over the... the retching of the town drunk who then cries out the name... the scritch-scritch-scritch! of pen on prescription pad in... i like it when things swish, lots of nice fabric swishing,... took me a minute, but I salute you I'd reply but I'm not even sure your tweet is real. Programming is pretty much the Balkans, isn't it? A Leg Above we are a country of visionary middle managers dammit clint can you drink it in less than eight seconds? sigh robert byrd namedrop I'm perplexed that org-mode is seen as the answer here. As... You know statistically if you get twenty people in a room... i mean if you want a milkshake have a milkshake you don't... Isn't this just people you meet with at Shake Shack? A DAMNED MONSTER IS WHO sorry i meant #wolfdogs #notsorry let's discuss wolfdogs The Tumescent Universe and coincidentally i am fisting a ham what about utilikilts? i would admire a writer who showed... I would be cool with "firejacket" instead of blazer. Slacks... I know I would never. It would totally invert the lunch... the only thing he can't see is himself they can but it ruins their valuation Alex, I carry a tie. Oh, it's perfect. I'd even go for Midtown mullet. postgres results were showing up in different JSON result... guys how does my brain work why did it do that what about a one-up bot that parses nouns and randomly... oh it was successful; this is all a simulation running on a... i'm looking for a bot that's sexy like me also thanks! and it's fun to write about software. They are really pro—and have a big circ! But exist in a... we need to implement the tags for contextual chris is that a bit shift operator there's a whole website also really sorry about tarmac time. boo. Oh cool! It's out. wow all of my brand extensions fail BTW do you need 30,000... people keep saying that i've been thinking that it's time for someone to explain... That song is BEAUTIFUL. niiiiiiiiice actually certain code does produce an expression of awe and... so erased already i got no truck with witchcraft 01100010 01101111 01101111 00100000 01101000 01101111... ∂ø ¥öú? people should know what they are buying with their... FTP! Like funet.fi. I think it was Slackware, installed off... I mean I know you have stuff to do. all i'm saying is that sanger thing is critical for... i think it'd be really sad if the only representation was... but then i was a sysadmin or a hobo there was one of those smiles yes i just remember a very serious youth pastor saying, "we... chris I CANNOT remember. I think it was a sort of traveling... In 1988 I was nearly thrown out of youth group for a... thanks! and wow, as acronyms go, that's...pretty good... I tweet good sentences as I read them, then read... we've only just begun it looks like the great circle equation in shape but i... have read! part of it. the assembler parts throw me off. sorry canada uses a different version of javascript called... just not able to jam a lot of REST principles into a... thanks--no need, despite your criticism, which I welcome, I... not actually awkward Twitter put me in fave jail, and I'm only like 1/3 done... Wow remember what you said about wikipedia edd it's an amazing... not even getting in the middle of this one that's just hurtful omg search spotify for "jeep mix" it's everything write about the brief shining moment when jeep was an... anil this is SO the wrong crowd to threaten you know we're... what about shai this is ridic katie no one doesn't love jodeci anil i know you don't drink but ruff endz is fantastic anil you know you are all like oh no don't make me write... oh hey anil didn't c u there JodeC++ paul ford, ghost editor, the internet you should have used a smaller textbox you take a tech thing and smush it with an R&B thing,... well Tim you were right, he did link to it, and I owe you... oh my god no oh my god no you're just too close to tin kevin by focusing on meetings you're ignoring the real... product decisions i checked with folks, there were a LOT of meetings god that holds up beautifully also i really only use git never mercurial At SxSW, I chuckled from the audience at Kevin's t-shirt.... good disclaimer! let them have their turn! then i would say you are lucky nozzles because that's an... some days i can't believe i'm not dreaming it's one day a year matt you could but then they'll see that your t-shirt has holes... OH I UNDERSTAND NOW i love details like that but couldn't find a history on the... i totally missed this TLDR podcast it is very good... oh god hi Robbie I have to describe the world we have Gabriel not the world... I love that art so much, it's just straight-up vivisection. thanks, and welcome to being worth $78 per user! hahahhaaaeohwrgihqwroighasdojhs follow @bizweekgraphics, for they are the most insane art... I would think so—but giant media companies have their own... i am what i am dick see now this is a good conversation no i don't in the proud tower by barbara tuchman there's a great... it kind of is ended up as a tour guide oh you know how i'm saying it tim look closely at your feet are they trochaic whatever whatever Minting tweetcoins Thomas Kuhn predicted this in his lesser-known work on the... bourbon i kind of want to delete that one charlie is a good name too excuse me maam do you enjoy caves anyone who gets that joke deserves to suffer oh no citation needed, but you're swell i guess remixed—it feels like samples are easier to narrow... also her site is super-fun http://www.annehelenpetersen.com/ I mean you work in the industry, you need to follow this... that's a lot of 90s right there http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/axyse/axyse0908/axyse09080... this is not healthy oh man Erika for the win god even our bots are sexist pigs yeah that's a real bad one all made of heese is there an enterprise bot track? absolutely, scholarship applications are available for $500... that's an interesting question to ask at BOTSTOCK14... you simply pay $10,000 annually for licensing! everybody... by either the American Bot Authority or AGA (Automaton... my god my god my god i love this yes but it's all artsy and "thoughtful" and "smart" i'm... oooh I love Erhardt he could totally keynote BotStock don't ask me, ask any number of highly interactive bots Anil can we get MY CHILD HATES ME stickers for when our... not as dangerous as it will be if i don't get my cof i am so thirsty for something, some beverage i can only... am i real PF Hangs is a pure win they opened a heeseake fatory near Tyho it's real nie For 300+ years, we've been teetering on the edge, one... i hired a dude to stand there and beat me up if i start any... i left out the c for computational complexity the t-shirts are late because the looms acquired... it says the best things helpful! Thanks. “discovered by a dad” This newspaper sure got it wrong about Truman on election... jacob English has great new words from time to time. Like... back atcha! They are 2 years. Gets a little easier every day. Well, and... this has not been true for so long janet what should simply be a place without cell phone calls... oh the quiet car is so nice except for the people who think... ha, yes leibniz/newton was NOTHING compared to the importance of... misha what else do i have bvtts can't hear you over the fan in my Symbolics machine IDW2LITWA I need a social network that's just for me. good year Publishing There is no happier newsroom. i mean, that's what happens to him in the movie, i want you... (I should hedge here. “cal” is like a poem about the... or a science fiction film where all but one of them dies... #couldntstopifitried I also watched that while recuperating and remember a sort... I mean what other kind of economy do we even live in? why? lots of pivots are like this it's where he got his superhuman fight “Urban Outfitters, its second-biggest customer, told the... “‘The lights started to go out throughout the factory: that... children ruin everything i don't understand games in general, faulty wiring ulgh that notebook “And because the only people who shop at the Co-op are... “‘You can always have funerals on Sundays.’”... To celebrate the day after Thanksgiving, check out this... just a warning that the front cover of tomorrow's times... “Think about that for a second — hordes of happy, upbeat... “Popcorn and Caramel are 38-pound turkeys from Badger ,... welp, they're above the fold seriously i bet the coöp is burning oh god it's nipples, women, and israel i'm amazed the city... wait waht this is relevant to my interests gallium arsenide is so cray Seriously no one has written a book called “The Erection... “‘When men get older, that part doesn’t function very well... “‘Some men come with photos of their late wives.’”... i had a dream where blue turtles could talk to each other... “It means JavaScript has nothing to do with it, it's just... If I opened a diner in Silicon Valley every meal would be... “‘Glitch cellular automata,’ ‘algokraut,’ and ‘ambient... “And sometimes I think working within constraints can make... “I think this is getting very close to the social... “I wonder how many people have actually tried the... “All you have seen are shitty skeuomorphic bastardizations... “The nation’s birthrate today is half what it was in 1960,... i just realized that this entire line of puns represents... that's cool but who left all this random seed around? stop dorking around “Where today do families publish their homemade bedtime... “By comparison, the Nissan Leaf — the best-selling... “‘I work all my life like animal to have this building,’... I mean what else can you even say about... “Sicha likes Ursula K. Le Guin, cigarettes, and cats.”... To be clear no one said they are “merit class.” I am just... i probably am very crabby “I'm not middle class,” he said, sipping from his coffee at... now you are ready to program rails you work in tech though “Calacanis grew up in in Brooklyn, from a middling income... open your EYES man this is going on ALL AROUND you Lol Rusty. Acquisition in 2016 for $35MM on paper as part... “‘People were just throwing money in the air,’ Ms. Brandon... “Finding these writers, all of whom are black, wasn’t hard... “What happened in Bangladesh was terrible,” said the... “Walmart said that unauthorized contractors were producing... “Flapflapflapflapflapflap.” http://www.bloomberg.com/news/20... “(One of the most popular articles on Friday was ‘Day... I've taken a serious look at the culture of online... “But playing the role of temptress was not what the... “Your ability to get good at coding has nothing to do with... “During the total solar eclipse of Feb. 16, 1980, most... “Satoshi Nakamoto’s actual identity remains a hotly debated... “Additionally, his family line included seven alleged... “Another sore point was the Medicare agency’s decision to... “‘the Beastie Boys have now threatened GoldieBlox with... You have to listen carefully to hear it over the sounds of... snapchat, but only for dads lulu but for divorcées oh nothing just skating to where the puck will be oh yeah paging @rustyk5 It's a lot like Candy Crush in that you either have to... iMocratic is a new app that allows people to create and... “Where's your meritocracy now?”... Media tip: If you want a lot of really shitty blog/social... “For the Averroist, each human is like a Kindle Fire tablet... ulgh sessions is the worst oh god the only thing worse than congress is the senate hitting the lectern he cannot believe this shit, he cannot take it any more,... we need a c-span watchers chatroom or irc channel The Nazis celebrated January 30 as a holiday because it was... #orwhat actually one UK euphemism for vagina is "badly packed... “Like many government projects, http://HealthCare.gov was... “The issue also came with _three sheets of wrapping paper_... Do editors even trust a writer in slacks? Blazers with jeans announce the eternal compromise of the... you could offer recommendations like... there is a huge market opportunity for a tab bot I just found a two-day bug that I thought was AJAX... what would be the most infuriating bot we could build? we... or facebook Part of my job was to write web pages criticizing Searle's... I worked for an artificial intelligence company once in... I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD CONTINUE. “For all practical purposes, stealing a bike is risk-free... “Not ‘alright.’ But all right.”... “She stands, precariously, on two narrow slats perched... Syntactic sugar doesn't really cover up the taste of... Does the comma go after "bed" or after "you"? i wish omniture could break out rageviews pageviews http://www.gridskipper.com/travel/090805.10.jpg http://distilleryimage1.ak.instagram.com/d773837e3e7b11e381a... heavy hangs the neck that wears the lanyard Whatever her faults, Teen Talk Barbie was right about math. Internet commenters who complain about immigration policy... “She does freelance ‘intuitive’ readings, similar to... “...long-term joblessness is up 213 percent.”... I've been thinking about the Luke Mogelson Christmas Island... The thong never sets on the Pitbull product empire. For example his new programming language uses pitbooleans. “He’s very clear that his fragrances are just the first... “The fragrance introduction is part of a very busy season... “If we had left a few days earlier, the boat would have... “Using touch screen computers has helped a group of monkeys... Clooney Sicha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCC-yefoy5k “There is no sadder newsroom than the one where the... “We picked movies for our employee favorites shelves more... Good jokes kill great ideas. “When _Seabiscuit_ first came up for discussion, some... “France says attacks on tourists in Florida are rare now,... “He stood up to speak from a golden chair, and read his... “We can only be grateful the Cold War ended before they... 6th Ave. One teen sobs into another teen's arms, both... “Strange midsize amateurs, loomed up with sites?”... On weekdays, the answer to “where Brooklyn at?” is... You'll work with @JPaskin who was my downstairs neighbor... Work at Businessweek! Cover B-schools! DO IT! It's an... Congratulations to @harpers and @29pco as they drive... “The new app retains the Harper’s font and design aesthetic... “OK! By now you should have written about eight or nine... “Waiting for inspiration is crucial, because you don’t want... “Don’t bother answering that: everyone wants to write,... “‘It would be a mistake to jump and say that dogs were... “Legal pad enthusiasts do seem to have a psychological... As I get older I say things out loud like, “You know what's... If you guys felt proprietary and annoyed when I wrote about... That last tweet will self-destruct in about one minute. That said I keep thinking about all the abortions they had... The NYMag abortion package is just amazing... won't you regret it when you're 80 and everyone is... Brataccas http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/17/Brat... http://mlkshk.com/p/VHBQ OMG of course I want it. I bet @benfinoradin/@textfiles... digital archivists could help you preserve as much of this... Everyone go vote please. It's very important and you get a... it's like you said "i don't know probably" to "is your... rusty God is this stuff all on http://archive.org in case you... “racism, nationalism, suicide pacts, death threats,... But also: Nupedia who? Some days it feels like Houellebecq is the only writer in... “I thought things like, ‘Well, Steve Jobs had issues, but... The Personal Transport Cruiser United States of America... Dear World, I would want to write for Hugo Lindgren even if... Good fine art explainer: http://mlkshk.com/p/VG2W god quirksmode keeps doing the lord's work, here's an... “What was accomplished by your sacrifice and by the waste... “In the 14 years I’ve been here, I’ve never seen an... “Ctrl-R as ‘make all’ for the web isn’t perfect, but it was... “We deserve respect for being human, and it ends there.”... i was only following my passion officer “People can't be pro-bike in a mainstream publication... “BlackBerry has left Struggletown and is on its way to... “Mourning Blockbuster is like mourning some big, dumb robot... “The biggest problem we face is a philosophical one:... “‘This is like a farmer going out and dumping all his... “Duvan Giraldo, 26, a software technician in Elmhurst,... Also, fun fact, Date.parse() doesn't behave the same way in... I've noticed that if you read old Unix utils code, it's... “Americans can text the word AID to 27722 to donate $10” to... “We middle classes are simply experiencing what the working... “Nobody wants to kill a cyclist, but the total absence of... “Most cops spend their lives in cars, too, so that’s where... “You don’t have to be a lefty pinko cycling activist to... “They seem to have a hundred lovely metaphors, with a... “Like the common Swiss tool, the Roman version has a lot of... All day long in vain I waited for the headline “Hype is the... jodeci related artists on spotify is a treasure chest hello... I love Python, but the smoothest programming language is... oh yeah totes i did “The Web reminds me of [something totally unrelated, like... “[Bragg] also suggested that artists are wasting their... “The media story of who did what, who really made a... i mean where do you even start with that “If Hammack is able to get his income at or below $62,000,... i sent that as a real DM first by accident because I had no... - DM @kevinpurdy is $200 enough This set of first tweets from media orgs is fun if you... If you are a 25-year-old dev your dad is going to read my... My goal as a writer is to give older parents a way to say... Returning to M-NET, two decades later: “A modest, tiny... Okay so @onthemedia's TLDR blog is doing a podcast and this... “We love pregame flyovers that culminate in actual... “If you have a penis and feelings, you'd better cut one of... inbox of shame “This was ancient Greek soundtrack music.”... Heavy hangs the head that inserts the crown. oh god the sound of knees jerking is the music of the internet. “Once born, tweets must find their way to the world, like a... Also my god this cover trail: http://www.businessweek.com/ar... Growing up, I dreamed that a business weekly would let me... yeah, but like, an email that people read all right back to my tmux terminal you know, once this IPO is over, there's still room in the... it is really, really complicated, but it all worked out,... i totally get that. i think they are fine unless they grew... oh man i had a few drinks let's see what @narwhalynn is up... IT WAS PERFECT did you check that your browser accepts cookies? which brands do you think will engage us first? my bet is... i tried tweetbot but it's like a part time job. also, i am... all these brands are amassed on the border, waiting it's no fun creating value for shareholders in an attention... rusty after the ipo i worry things will be different okay sure i used to really believe in radical manhattanism... wtf is wrong with having a name, a nice honest name, just a... “Even his name is obviously and obscenely American: ‘Rob... “Coming up with a word like neuromancer...would earn you a... “It was the first day in four years that nobody was killed... “The less-famous Marty Walsh said he thanked Biden for his... “In 2008, ACRES created the first fluorescent cat.”... “Copyright enforcement through official channels is either... “The site is about 30 metres underground and can only be... he would but the secret service won't let him use the... don't distract them while they're surging yyyyyyeeeessssssss there was a ladybug in my headphones so my day is over “‘Civilisation has to a certain extent depended on... http://www.fuckedconcept.com/?g=mKZvOyuS4ZSgM&w=59695732161 the fault, dear rusty, is not in the tabs, but if your bot is slow doing dictionary matches then trie trie... got it! what makes a bootleg white-label? “Frankly, the quality of safety provision for students at... Does anyone know the most remixed song in history? Besides... I liked that piece quite a bit. I could see the wheels... “The Chinese realized that whatever is clogging the... “The innovation industry is hardly new.”... “Yet it wasn’t as if the stars of Hollywood were suddenly... BTW, if you're a dude & love tech but are worn out by... “And discard the notion that journalists and engineers and... “Chinese Room Takeaway” by @jason_hutchens... omg this awesome picture of digital archivists at work... “Frakes appeared on the 1994 Phish album Hoist, playing... rusty i'm from CBS news we need to talk with you about the... gawker urgently needs that video you could have voted against yourself and avoided this... which will make for fantastic tweets during meetings rusty if you don't write yourself in on the ballot who will... "You think that it happens at a bar with some creepy worker... “Her lesson: always watch your drink, and don’t be afraid... my friend built http://lockify.com which I completely love... God I wish someone would release a survey of bot architect... to be clear, i'm not attempting to shoehorn in on the... Guys with ONE totally fake conference (BOTSTOCK14) and ONE... Key brand question: Have you architected an enterprise bot... Media organizations: What is your bot strategy? #sxsw2015 This @robdubbin bot for Colbert is just the best... “If you think about it, ‘CMS’ is really just a less stuffy... “They seem to believe their customers have the brain power... “Goodbye forever, Balthazar!” http://www.theawl.com/2013/11/... FT corrects: “An argument by moral philosopher Peter Singer... “In the ‘hybrid economy" that the Internet is, there is an... “You will have to say: we need free enquiry because freedom... Lots of mid-to-late-1980s mall photos: “'I was interested... after “riding the hashtag” the next thing you should do is... i hope you didn't spend your advance Rusty if ANYONE ever turned in a book review on time, the... I want it to be the literary equivalent of this artwork... then i would be late in writing it, so i'd have to write... except i want to do the apologies in real-time and... i'd like to write a sci-fi story entirely in email updates... “They call it ‘riding the hashtag’ here.”... “‘The people I’m trying to hire here are journalists and... “Vaynerchuk's accomplishments include the building of... The NSA has made it possible for a national-intelligence... “Social Network Analysis Collaboration Knowledge Services”... If your headline contains the word “this,” you've lost all... If "大器晚成" can mean both "grand talents mature slowly" and... Google translate has "大器晚成" as "grand talents mature... “He also adds an old Chinese saying ‘大器晚成’ - A big... “In order for an iPhone app to appear to be the width of an... i'd feel real sad if the reason bad joke cat didn't update... a fake cat stole something that took me 35 seconds cc/all... does this mean i can be one of those people who complains... i haven't looked at bad joke cat in months let's see oh hey... “Asked whether he preferred combat or the Sierra Madre,... “This means that roughly 10% of all Americans are former... “They took the ashes from the founder of _High Times_ and... linking to good thinking instead of JUST to web things that... here is honest and straightforward writing from personal... My new CMS is called TABMAKER “Quantifying a compelling topic with a numbered list makes... “Acceptance is the recognition that autism is an integral... “‘If people are asking for money on Kickstarter, I figured... hello ladies if animals don't want to be eaten they should learn to code “It looks like a future where your best bet to get things... Sometimes on cool evenings if you are very quiet you can... Blazer and jeans is great. You get to lunch first and they... Apparently the only thing holding back an Etsy IPO is that... Just replaced 600 lines of awesome, event-based, broken... Watching my daughter scream over having to wear brown pants... If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot...