Ftrain, by Paul Ford

November 2013

Nov 30, 2013

“Urban Outfitters, its second-biggest customer, told the...

“Urban Outfitters, its second-biggest customer, told the factory that it was moving work overseas.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 30, 2013

“‘The lights started to go out throughout the factory: that...

“‘The lights started to go out throughout the factory: that department’s done, that department’s done.’” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 30, 2013

children ruin everything

@rustyk5 children ruin everything
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Nov 30, 2013

i don't understand games in general, faulty wiring

@rustyk5 i don't understand games in general, faulty wiring
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Nov 30, 2013

ulgh that notebook

@rustyk5 ulgh that notebook
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Nov 30, 2013

“And because the only people who shop at the Co-op are...

“And because the only people who shop at the Co-op are members, the thefts are essentially inside jobs.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 30, 2013

“‘You can always have funerals on Sundays.’”...

“‘You can always have funerals on Sundays.’” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 29, 2013

To celebrate the day after Thanksgiving, check out this...

To celebrate the day after Thanksgiving, check out this excellent brochure about the New York City sewage system: nyc.gov/...
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Nov 27, 2013

i'm grateful for you leah

@leahfinnegan i'm grateful for you leah
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Nov 27, 2013

just a warning that the front cover of tomorrow's times...

just a warning that the front cover of tomorrow's times might include deflated balloons so prepare yourself for even more lame boob jokes
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Nov 27, 2013

it's okay let's calm down we've all had a scareola

@leahfinnegan it's okay let's calm down we've all had a scareola
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Nov 27, 2013

“Think about that for a second — hordes of happy, upbeat...

“Think about that for a second — hordes of happy, upbeat New Yorkers.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 27, 2013

“Popcorn and Caramel are 38-pound turkeys from Badger ,...

“Popcorn and Caramel are 38-pound turkeys from Badger , Minn.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 27, 2013

shani would buzzfeed let me rank menstrual cups it would be...

@anildash @shani_o @yaeltime shani would buzzfeed let me rank menstrual cups it would be the world's greatest troll if not me john h
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Nov 27, 2013

omg telling women which one they should choose, pting out...

@anildash @shani_o @yaeltime omg telling women which one they should choose, pting out that diva is kind of commercial
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Nov 27, 2013

and me can actually talk keeper vs diva vs softcup so

@yaeltime @shani_o @anildash and me can actually talk keeper vs diva vs softcup so
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Nov 27, 2013

welp, they're above the fold

welp, they're above the fold
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Nov 27, 2013

seriously i bet the coöp is burning

@rustyk5 @knguyen seriously i bet the coöp is burning
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Nov 27, 2013

oh god it's nipples, women, and israel i'm amazed the city...

@rustyk5 @knguyen oh god it's nipples, women, and israel i'm amazed the city is still standing
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Nov 27, 2013

wait waht this is relevant to my interests

@rustyk5 wait waht this is relevant to my interests
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Nov 27, 2013

gallium arsenide is so cray

gallium arsenide is so cray
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Nov 27, 2013

free 14 day trial...so thirsty...easiest way to...mom

@Mike_FTW @anildash @harrisj free 14 day trial...so thirsty...easiest way to...mom
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Nov 27, 2013

i'm so tired of this podcast i just want to go home when...

@Mike_FTW @anildash @harrisj i'm so tired of this podcast i just want to go home when will they will let me go home
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Nov 27, 2013

u ever get drunk and point to stinging insects and say u s b

@Mike_FTW @anildash @harrisj u ever get drunk and point to stinging insects and say u s b
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Nov 27, 2013

I'm writing a story about the love between an overclocked...

@harrisj @anildash I'm writing a story about the love between an overclocked Dell and an aging Power Mac. It's basically fan fiction.
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Nov 27, 2013

“‘When men get older, that part doesn’t function very well...

“‘When men get older, that part doesn’t function very well and I have needs,’ said the woman.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 27, 2013

“‘Some men come with photos of their late wives.’”...

“‘Some men come with photos of their late wives.’” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 27, 2013

[looks left, nods, exits studio]

@anildash [looks left, nods, exits studio]
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Nov 27, 2013

jeesh mike stop trolling for a mailbox invite

@Mike_FTW @anildash jeesh mike stop trolling for a mailbox invite
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Nov 27, 2013

40 makers and a mule

@anildash 40 makers and a mule
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Nov 27, 2013

much later, and then it's just "worst comes to worst" on...

@alexsteed @anildash much later, and then it's just "worst comes to worst" on repeat
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Nov 27, 2013

proud to be on the mule network

@anildash proud to be on the mule network
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Nov 27, 2013

nah that's just chatter. maybe, like, a sporty thievs...

@alexsteed @anildash nah that's just chatter. maybe, like, a sporty thievs reference.
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Nov 27, 2013

i had to get rainboots on the kids this morning and since...

@anildash i had to get rainboots on the kids this morning and since then my facility with language is pretty much gone
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Nov 27, 2013

wow i'm too tired to bust on you properly

@anildash wow i'm too tired to bust on you properly
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Nov 27, 2013

anil emotional space has been there 1991

@anildash anil emotional space has been there 1991
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Nov 27, 2013

[set adrift on memory bliss music cue right here]

@anildash [set adrift on memory bliss music cue right here]
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Nov 27, 2013

remember having one computer and you'd compile the kernel...

@anildash remember having one computer and you'd compile the kernel and if it didn't work that was it, NOTHING?
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Nov 27, 2013

you just described my 1997

@anildash you just described my 1997
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Nov 27, 2013

why not CodePlex?

@anildash why not CodePlex?
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Nov 27, 2013

actually it needs to be an app no one even knows what docs...

@anildash actually it needs to be an app no one even knows what docs are now
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Nov 27, 2013

i had a dream where blue turtles could talk to each other...

i had a dream where blue turtles could talk to each other over wireless protocols it was the internet of stings
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Nov 27, 2013

can't hear you over the fan in my Symbolics machine

@anildash can't hear you over the fan in my Symbolics machine
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Nov 27, 2013

this could all have been avoided if they had just used

@anildash this could all have been avoided if they had just used
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Nov 27, 2013

javascript optimizers, ignore korean banking at your peril

@anildash javascript optimizers, ignore korean banking at your peril
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Nov 27, 2013

shocking oversight

@anildash shocking oversight
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Nov 27, 2013

“It looks like a future where your best bet to get things...

“It looks like a future where your best bet to get things running fast in a browser is to do non-web things.” acko.net/...
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Nov 27, 2013

“It means JavaScript has nothing to do with it, it's just...

“It means JavaScript has nothing to do with it, it's just the poison we ended up with.” acko.net/...
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Nov 26, 2013

If I opened a diner in Silicon Valley every meal would be...

If I opened a diner in Silicon Valley every meal would be served with more slaw.
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Nov 26, 2013

“‘Glitch cellular automata,’ ‘algokraut,’ and ‘ambient...

“‘Glitch cellular automata,’ ‘algokraut,’ and ‘ambient gabber’ are some of my favorites.” vice.com/...
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Nov 26, 2013

“And sometimes I think working within constraints can make...

“And sometimes I think working within constraints can make you more ingenious and more creative.” thequietus.com/...
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Nov 26, 2013

“I think this is getting very close to the social...

“I think this is getting very close to the social networking system Mark Zuckerberg has always dreamed about.” roughtype.com
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Nov 26, 2013

yeah but what a relief to everyone else

@dannosowitz yeah but what a relief to everyone else
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Nov 26, 2013

seriously i am like a heroic father of the adam smith...

@yoni seriously i am like a heroic father of the adam smith revolution
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Nov 26, 2013

i mean CSS has these native animations

@atmccann i mean CSS has these native animations
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Nov 26, 2013

“I wonder how many people have actually tried the...

“I wonder how many people have actually tried the GoldieBlox products?” mandaclay.tumblr.com/...
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Nov 26, 2013

“All you have seen are shitty skeuomorphic bastardizations...

“All you have seen are shitty skeuomorphic bastardizations of what should be text communicating a fucking message.” motherfuckingwebsite.com
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Nov 26, 2013

“The nation’s birthrate today is half what it was in 1960,...

“The nation’s birthrate today is half what it was in 1960, and last year hit its lowest point ever.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 26, 2013

i just realized that this entire line of puns represents...

@rustyk5 i just realized that this entire line of puns represents the twitter internal product naming strategy
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Nov 26, 2013

that's cool but who left all this random seed around?

@rustyk5 that's cool but who left all this random seed around?
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Nov 26, 2013

i sure hope so because I hate seeing our neighborhoods fall...

@Runchal @rustyk5 @knguyen @sixfoot6 i sure hope so because I hate seeing our neighborhoods fall to hentrification.
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Nov 25, 2013

“Where today do families publish their homemade bedtime...

“Where today do families publish their homemade bedtime stories about giant pickles?” dailydot.com/...
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Nov 25, 2013

“By comparison, the Nissan Leaf — the best-selling...

“By comparison, the Nissan Leaf — the best-selling all-electric car on the market — has not had any reported fires.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 25, 2013

“‘I work all my life like animal to have this building,’...

“‘I work all my life like animal to have this building,’ Mr. Gritsipis said to Judge Jane S. Solomon.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 25, 2013

I mean what else can you even say about...

I mean what else can you even say about newyorker.com/... than asdlkhg'liasdg'lkhsdkl'hg'lkhdgs
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Nov 25, 2013

“Sicha likes Ursula K. Le Guin, cigarettes, and cats.”...

“Sicha likes Ursula K. Le Guin, cigarettes, and cats.” newyorker.com/...
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Nov 25, 2013

well but wait i kind of bet that's a very very complicated...

@megnut @rustyk5 well but wait i kind of bet that's a very very complicated family thing
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Nov 25, 2013

jack this joke involves too many wikipedia lookups

@jackrusher jack this joke involves too many wikipedia lookups
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Nov 25, 2013

To be clear no one said they are “merit class.” I am just...

To be clear no one said they are “merit class.” I am just imagining “merit class” as a possible category.
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Nov 25, 2013

i probably am very crabby

@rustyk5 i probably am very crabby
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Nov 25, 2013

“I'm not middle class,” he said, sipping from his coffee at...

“I'm not middle class,” he said, sipping from his coffee at The Creamery. “I'm not upper class. I'm merit class.”
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Nov 25, 2013

now you are ready to program rails

@rustyk5 now you are ready to program rails
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Nov 25, 2013

you work in tech though

@rustyk5 you work in tech though
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Nov 25, 2013

why? lots of pivots are like this

@rustyk5 why? lots of pivots are like this
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Nov 25, 2013

it's where he got his superhuman fight

@rustyk5 it's where he got his superhuman fight
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Nov 25, 2013

oh god what have i

@meaghano oh god what have i
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Nov 25, 2013

the merit class

@meaghano the merit class
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Nov 25, 2013

“Calacanis grew up in in Brooklyn, from a middling income...

“Calacanis grew up in in Brooklyn, from a middling income family.” pandodaily.com/...
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Nov 25, 2013

open your EYES man this is going on ALL AROUND you

@rustyk5 @ex_liontamer open your EYES man this is going on ALL AROUND you
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Nov 25, 2013

Lol Rusty. Acquisition in 2016 for $35MM on paper as part...

@rustyk5 Lol Rusty. Acquisition in 2016 for $35MM on paper as part of some-yet uncreated tech-journo rollup.
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Nov 25, 2013

“‘People were just throwing money in the air,’ Ms. Brandon...

“‘People were just throwing money in the air,’ Ms. Brandon said.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 25, 2013

I need a social network that's just for me.

I need a social network that's just for me.
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Nov 24, 2013

the strange sloshing sound the mayor, presiding over the...

@leahfinnegan the strange sloshing sound the mayor, presiding over the gala, makes as his face explodes and tentacles burst forth
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Nov 24, 2013

the retching of the town drunk who then cries out the name...

@leahfinnegan the retching of the town drunk who then cries out the name of his long-departed wife, who was run over by the postal horse
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Nov 24, 2013

the scritch-scritch-scritch! of pen on prescription pad in...

@leahfinnegan the scritch-scritch-scritch! of pen on prescription pad in a lonely rural clinic
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Nov 24, 2013

i like it when things swish, lots of nice fabric swishing,...

@leahfinnegan i like it when things swish, lots of nice fabric swishing, or shoes on carpet, always a good part of quality journalism
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Nov 24, 2013

“Finding these writers, all of whom are black, wasn’t hard...

“Finding these writers, all of whom are black, wasn’t hard at all.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 24, 2013

“What happened in Bangladesh was terrible,” said the...

“What happened in Bangladesh was terrible,” said the WalMart PR person in my imagination, “but the real victim here is your savings.”
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Nov 24, 2013

I love when features do sounds.

@leahfinnegan I love when features do sounds.
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Nov 24, 2013

“Walmart said that unauthorized contractors were producing...

“Walmart said that unauthorized contractors were producing garments without the company’s knowledge.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 24, 2013

“Flapflapflapflapflapflap.” http://www.bloomberg.com/news/20...

“Flapflapflapflapflapflap.” bloomberg.com/...
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Nov 24, 2013

“(One of the most popular articles on Friday was ‘Day...

“(One of the most popular articles on Friday was ‘Day J.F.K. Died We Traded Through Tears as N.Y.S.E. Shut.’)” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 24, 2013

took me a minute, but I salute you

@fivetonsflax took me a minute, but I salute you
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Nov 24, 2013

I'd reply but I'm not even sure your tweet is real.

@quinnnorton I'd reply but I'm not even sure your tweet is real.
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Nov 24, 2013

I've taken a serious look at the culture of online...

I've taken a serious look at the culture of online narcissism and I'm left with an important question: Why isn't it more about me?
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Nov 24, 2013

Programming is pretty much the Balkans, isn't it?

@jackrusher Programming is pretty much the Balkans, isn't it?
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Nov 24, 2013

“But playing the role of temptress was not what the...

“But playing the role of temptress was not what the military had in mind for her.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 24, 2013

“Your ability to get good at coding has nothing to do with...

“Your ability to get good at coding has nothing to do with how well you fit into the various geek subcultures.” medium.com/...
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Nov 23, 2013

“During the total solar eclipse of Feb. 16, 1980, most...

“During the total solar eclipse of Feb. 16, 1980, most people were too afraid to even come out of their houses.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 23, 2013

“Satoshi Nakamoto’s actual identity remains a hotly debated...

“Satoshi Nakamoto’s actual identity remains a hotly debated topic among Internet researchers.” bits.blogs.nytimes.com/...
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Nov 23, 2013

“Additionally, his family line included seven alleged...

“Additionally, his family line included seven alleged murderers, including Lizzie Borden.” blogs.smithsonianmag.com/...
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Nov 23, 2013

“Another sore point was the Medicare agency’s decision to...

“Another sore point was the Medicare agency’s decision to use database software, from a company called MarkLogic.” nytimes.com/...
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Nov 22, 2013

“‘the Beastie Boys have now threatened GoldieBlox with...

“‘the Beastie Boys have now threatened GoldieBlox with copyright infringement.’” hollywoodreporter.com/... I can't stand it.
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Nov 22, 2013

You have to listen carefully to hear it over the sounds of...

You have to listen carefully to hear it over the sounds of comedians stabbing each other.
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Nov 22, 2013

Sometimes on cool evenings if you are very quiet you can...

Sometimes on cool evenings if you are very quiet you can hear the sound of writers hating other writers.
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Nov 22, 2013

lulu but for divorcées

lulu but for divorcées
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Nov 22, 2013

we are a country of visionary middle managers

@jlax @mvsyyz we are a country of visionary middle managers
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Nov 22, 2013

dammit clint

@clint dammit clint
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Nov 22, 2013

oh nothing just skating to where the puck will be

oh nothing just skating to where the puck will be
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Nov 22, 2013

It's a lot like Candy Crush in that you either have to...

It's a lot like Candy Crush in that you either have to cheat or pay tons of money to win, but is SUPER addictive and no one ever shuts the f
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Nov 22, 2013

iMocratic is a new app that allows people to create and...

iMocratic is a new app that allows people to create and share their own meritocracies.
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Nov 22, 2013

can you drink it in less than eight seconds?

@michelet can you drink it in less than eight seconds?
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Nov 22, 2013

Media tip: If you want a lot of really shitty blog/social...

Media tip: If you want a lot of really shitty blog/social media coverage for your lunch place offer a JFKale salad.
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Nov 21, 2013

“For the Averroist, each human is like a Kindle Fire tablet...

“For the Averroist, each human is like a Kindle Fire tablet whose
content is stored entirely in the Amazon Cloud.” edwardfeser.blogspot.com/...
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Nov 21, 2013

ulgh sessions is the worst

@rustyk5 ulgh sessions is the worst
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Nov 21, 2013

oh god the only thing worse than congress is the senate

@rustyk5 oh god the only thing worse than congress is the senate
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Nov 21, 2013

robert byrd namedrop

@rustyk5 robert byrd namedrop
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Nov 21, 2013

hitting the lectern

@rustyk5 hitting the lectern
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Nov 21, 2013

he cannot believe this shit, he cannot take it any more,...

@rustyk5 he cannot believe this shit, he cannot take it any more, it's like he's a cubs fan
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Nov 21, 2013

we need a c-span watchers chatroom or irc channel

@rustyk5 we need a c-span watchers chatroom or irc channel
➛
Nov 21, 2013

I'm perplexed that org-mode is seen as the answer here. As...

@shabbychef I'm perplexed that org-mode is seen as the answer here. As much as I love it.
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Nov 21, 2013

You know statistically if you get twenty people in a room...

@vruba You know statistically if you get twenty people in a room it's incredibly likely that two of them will be beheaded as traitors.
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Nov 21, 2013

The Nazis celebrated January 30 as a holiday because it was...

The Nazis celebrated January 30 as a holiday because it was the day Hitler was sworn in as chancellor. Nazis invented the Work Anniversary.
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Nov 21, 2013

A DAMNED MONSTER IS WHO

@ZaabSethna A DAMNED MONSTER IS WHO
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Nov 20, 2013

I mean what other kind of economy do we even live in?

I mean what other kind of economy do we even live in?
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Nov 20, 2013

Seriously no one has written a book called “The Erection...

Seriously no one has written a book called “The Erection Economy”?
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Nov 20, 2013

and coincidentally i am fisting a ham

@ohheygreat @rustyk5 and coincidentally i am fisting a ham
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Nov 20, 2013

actually one UK euphemism for vagina is "badly packed...

@rustyk5 actually one UK euphemism for vagina is "badly packed kebab" so you are basically 100% in the britgeist here
➛
Nov 20, 2013

“Like many government projects, http://HealthCare.gov was...

“Like many government projects, healthcare.gov was developed under the waterfall approach—to its near doom.” npr.org/...
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Nov 20, 2013

“The issue also came with _three sheets of wrapping paper_...

“The issue also came with _three sheets of wrapping paper_ for the holidays and has all of 23,250 subscribers.” theawl.com/...
➛
Nov 20, 2013

what about utilikilts? i would admire a writer who showed...

@leahfinnegan what about utilikilts? i would admire a writer who showed up to Balthazar in a utilikilt.
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Nov 20, 2013

I would be cool with "firejacket" instead of blazer. Slacks...

@michelet I would be cool with "firejacket" instead of blazer. Slacks are just lame in any context. They are pants, dammit, unless British.
➛
Nov 20, 2013

I know I would never. It would totally invert the lunch...

@leahfinnegan I know I would never. It would totally invert the lunch power dynamic.
➛
Nov 20, 2013

Do editors even trust a writer in slacks?

Do editors even trust a writer in slacks?
➛
Nov 20, 2013

they can but it ruins their valuation

@AdrianChen they can but it ruins their valuation
➛
Nov 20, 2013

Alex, I carry a tie.

@digiphile Alex, I carry a tie.
➛
Nov 20, 2013

Oh, it's perfect. I'd even go for Midtown mullet.

@nakedfoul Oh, it's perfect. I'd even go for Midtown mullet.
➛
Nov 20, 2013

Blazers with jeans announce the eternal compromise of the...

Blazers with jeans announce the eternal compromise of the culture industry. Saying, “I know what's expected—but embers of self yet glow.”
➛
Nov 20, 2013

Blazer and jeans is great. You get to lunch first and they...

Blazer and jeans is great. You get to lunch first and they think you're all business. When you stand up to say goodbye, they know you party.
➛
Nov 20, 2013

postgres results were showing up in different JSON result...

@harrisj postgres results were showing up in different JSON result sets because of processes
➛
Nov 20, 2013

guys how does my brain work why did it do that

@rustyk5 @silviakillings guys how does my brain work why did it do that
➛
Nov 20, 2013

there is a huge market opportunity for a tab bot

@rustyk5 there is a huge market opportunity for a tab bot
➛
Nov 20, 2013

I just found a two-day bug that I thought was AJAX...

I just found a two-day bug that I thought was AJAX callbacks but turned out to be a server configuration edge case I'm shaking from feels.
➛
Nov 19, 2013

what about a one-up bot that parses nouns and randomly...

@alazyreader @rustyk5 @Runchal what about a one-up bot that parses nouns and randomly inserts "it's okay, but [synonym] is better"?
➛
Nov 19, 2013

what would be the most infuriating bot we could build? we...

@rustyk5 @Runchal @alazyreader what would be the most infuriating bot we could build? we have the technology.
➛
Nov 19, 2013

oh it was successful; this is all a simulation running on a...

@alazyreader @rustyk5 @Runchal oh it was successful; this is all a simulation running on a Pentium
➛
Nov 19, 2013

Part of my job was to write web pages criticizing Searle's...

@rustyk5 @Runchal Part of my job was to write web pages criticizing Searle's Chinese Room while boosting the Turing test. Great job.
➛
Nov 19, 2013

i'm looking for a bot that's sexy like me

@Runchal @rustyk5 i'm looking for a bot that's sexy like me
➛
Nov 19, 2013

I worked for an artificial intelligence company once in...

@rustyk5 @Runchal I worked for an artificial intelligence company once in Israel we simulated a one-year-old NO JOKE. wired.com/...
➛
Nov 19, 2013

I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD CONTINUE.

@rustyk5 @Runchal I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD CONTINUE.
➛
Nov 19, 2013

“For all practical purposes, stealing a bike is risk-free...

“For all practical purposes, stealing a bike is risk-free crime.” blog.priceonomics.com/...
➛
Nov 19, 2013

“Not ‘alright.’ But all right.”...

“Not ‘alright.’ But all right.” newyorker.com/...
➛
Nov 19, 2013

“She stands, precariously, on two narrow slats perched...

“She stands, precariously, on two narrow slats perched above a ditch and does what she needs to do.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 19, 2013

Syntactic sugar doesn't really cover up the taste of...

Syntactic sugar doesn't really cover up the taste of syntactic shit.
➛
Nov 19, 2013

also thanks! and it's fun to write about software.

@nelson also thanks! and it's fun to write about software.
➛
Nov 19, 2013

They are really pro—and have a big circ! But exist in a...

@nelson They are really pro—and have a big circ! But exist in a broader sci/tech space. Their readers aren't all tweeting, I guess.
➛
Nov 19, 2013

Does the comma go after "bed" or after "you"?

@rustyk5 Does the comma go after "bed" or after "you"?
➛
Nov 18, 2013

i wish omniture could break out rageviews

i wish omniture could break out rageviews
➛
Nov 18, 2013

we need to implement the tags for contextual

@mize we need to implement the tags for contextual
➛
Nov 18, 2013

pageviews

pageviews
➛
Nov 18, 2013

chris is that a bit shift operator

@reppep chris is that a bit shift operator
➛
Nov 18, 2013

also really sorry about tarmac time. boo.

@BlueSeaSally also really sorry about tarmac time. boo.
➛
Nov 18, 2013

Whatever her faults, Teen Talk Barbie was right about math.

Whatever her faults, Teen Talk Barbie was right about math.
➛
Nov 18, 2013

Internet commenters who complain about immigration policy...

Internet commenters who complain about immigration policy should know it's not spelled “hoards.”
➛
Nov 17, 2013

“She does freelance ‘intuitive’ readings, similar to...

“She does freelance ‘intuitive’ readings, similar to psychic readings, and web production work.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 17, 2013

“...long-term joblessness is up 213 percent.”...

“...long-term joblessness is up 213 percent.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 17, 2013

up close and horrible

@anildash up close and horrible
➛
Nov 17, 2013

I've been thinking about the Luke Mogelson Christmas Island...

I've been thinking about the Luke Mogelson Christmas Island essay for days now nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 17, 2013

all of my brand extensions fail BTW do you need 30,000...

@ohheygreat all of my brand extensions fail BTW do you need 30,000 headbands
➛
Nov 17, 2013

The thong never sets on the Pitbull product empire.

The thong never sets on the Pitbull product empire.
➛
Nov 17, 2013

people keep saying that

@ohheygreat people keep saying that
➛
Nov 17, 2013

For example his new programming language uses pitbooleans.

For example his new programming language uses pitbooleans.
➛
Nov 17, 2013

“He’s very clear that his fragrances are just the first...

“He’s very clear that his fragrances are just the first step in a Pitbull product empire.” wwd.com/...
➛
Nov 17, 2013

“The fragrance introduction is part of a very busy season...

“The fragrance introduction is part of a very busy season for [Pitbull].” wwd.com/... @anildash is getting this for solstice
➛
Nov 17, 2013

“If we had left a few days earlier, the boat would have...

“If we had left a few days earlier, the boat would have capsized.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 17, 2013

There is no happier newsroom.

There is no happier newsroom.
➛
Nov 17, 2013

“Using touch screen computers has helped a group of monkeys...

“Using touch screen computers has helped a group of monkeys relax, a new study has found.” dailymail.co.uk/...
➛
Nov 17, 2013

“There is no sadder newsroom than the one where the...

“There is no sadder newsroom than the one where the gray-hairs...refuse to die.” blogs.reuters.com/...
➛
Nov 17, 2013

i've been thinking that it's time for someone to explain...

@Mike_FTW i've been thinking that it's time for someone to explain all the different Carrs (David, Paul, etc.) Title would be Carr Talk.
➛
Nov 16, 2013

“We picked movies for our employee favorites shelves more...

“We picked movies for our employee favorites shelves more carefully than we picked our majors.” theawl.com/...
➛
Nov 16, 2013

Good jokes kill great ideas.

Good jokes kill great ideas.
➛
Nov 16, 2013

“When _Seabiscuit_ first came up for discussion, some...

“When _Seabiscuit_ first came up for discussion, some skeptic muttered, ‘Talk about beating a dead horse!’” vulture.com/...
➛
Nov 16, 2013

“France says attacks on tourists in Florida are rare now,...

“France says attacks on tourists in Florida are rare now, but were frequent a few years ago.” washingtonpost.com/...
➛
Nov 16, 2013

“He stood up to speak from a golden chair, and read his...

“He stood up to speak from a golden chair, and read his notes from a golden lectern.” theguardian.com/...
➛
Nov 16, 2013

“We can only be grateful the Cold War ended before they...

“We can only be grateful the Cold War ended before they could fully weaponize the synonym.” newyorker.com/...
➛
Nov 16, 2013

That song is BEAUTIFUL.

@jodify That song is BEAUTIFUL.
➛
Nov 15, 2013

6th Ave. One teen sobs into another teen's arms, both...

6th Ave. One teen sobs into another teen's arms, both sitting on the floor. I feel like I am intruding. What kind of bank is this?
➛
Nov 15, 2013

“Strange midsize amateurs, loomed up with sites?”...

“Strange midsize amateurs, loomed up with sites?” newyorker.com/...
➛
Nov 15, 2013

On weekdays, the answer to “where Brooklyn at?” is...

On weekdays, the answer to “where Brooklyn at?” is “Midtown.”
➛
Nov 15, 2013

Work at Businessweek! Cover B-schools! DO IT! It's an...

Work at Businessweek! Cover B-schools! DO IT! It's an insane world of aquariums and aguas frescas (& SHARP editors). careers.bloomberg.com/...
➛
Nov 15, 2013

Congratulations to @harpers and @29pco as they drive...

Congratulations to @harpers and @29pco as they drive forward into the brave new world of fully responsive audited circulation.
➛
Nov 15, 2013

“The new app retains the Harper’s font and design aesthetic...

“The new app retains the Harper’s font and design aesthetic and is more friendly to a touchscreen experience.” pandodaily.com/...
➛
Nov 15, 2013

“OK! By now you should have written about eight or nine...

“OK! By now you should have written about eight or nine thousand well-crafted words.” fsgworkinprogress.com/...
➛
Nov 15, 2013

“Waiting for inspiration is crucial, because you don’t want...

“Waiting for inspiration is crucial, because you don’t want to write just anything — it’s got to be really good.” fsgworkinprogress.com/...
➛
Nov 15, 2013

“Don’t bother answering that: everyone wants to write,...

“Don’t bother answering that: everyone wants to write, because writing is non-stop fun.” fsgworkinprogress.com/...
➛
Nov 15, 2013

“‘It would be a mistake to jump and say that dogs were...

“‘It would be a mistake to jump and say that dogs were domesticated in Europe and not anywhere else,’ he said.” the-scientist.com
➛
Nov 15, 2013

“Legal pad enthusiasts do seem to have a psychological...

“Legal pad enthusiasts do seem to have a psychological connection to their writing tablets.” legalaffairs.org/...
➛
Nov 15, 2013

actually certain code does produce an expression of awe and...

@rebeccablood @anildash @rafeco actually certain code does produce an expression of awe and wonder in me but AGREED IN PRINCIPLE
➛
Nov 14, 2013

i got no truck with witchcraft

@harrisj i got no truck with witchcraft
➛
Nov 14, 2013

As I get older I say things out loud like, “You know what's...

As I get older I say things out loud like, “You know what's a good song?”
➛
Nov 14, 2013

01100010 01101111 01101111 00100000 01101000 01101111...

@harrisj 01100010 01101111 01101111 00100000 01101000 01101111 01101111
➛
Nov 14, 2013

∂ø ¥öú?

@harrisj ∂ø ¥öú?
➛
Nov 14, 2013

If you guys felt proprietary and annoyed when I wrote about...

If you guys felt proprietary and annoyed when I wrote about JSON, just wait until I publish this piece about mapping!
➛
Nov 14, 2013

people should know what they are buying with their...

@mulegirl people should know what they are buying with their attention rubles
➛
Nov 14, 2013

That last tweet will self-destruct in about one minute.

That last tweet will self-destruct in about one minute.
➛
Nov 14, 2013

That said I keep thinking about all the abortions they had...

That said I keep thinking about all the abortions they had to edit out. “I'm really sorry—your abortion was great, it just didn't line up.”
➛
Nov 14, 2013

The NYMag abortion package is just amazing...

The NYMag abortion package is just amazing nymag.com/...
➛
Nov 14, 2013

Clooney Sicha

@rustyk5 Clooney Sicha
➛
Nov 14, 2013

i mean, that's what happens to him in the movie, i want you...

@rustyk5 i mean, that's what happens to him in the movie, i want you to be careful with your memes
➛
Nov 14, 2013

won't you regret it when you're 80 and everyone is...

@rustyk5 won't you regret it when you're 80 and everyone is structuralist again?
➛
Nov 13, 2013

Apparently the only thing holding back an Etsy IPO is that...

Apparently the only thing holding back an Etsy IPO is that no one can find the silkscreen for the stock certificates.
➛
Nov 13, 2013

FTP! Like funet.fi. I think it was Slackware, installed off...

@shabbychef FTP! Like funet.fi. I think it was Slackware, installed off an ISO I downloaded from, like GOPHERSPACE.
➛
Nov 13, 2013

OMG of course I want it. I bet @benfinoradin/@textfiles...

@rustyk5 OMG of course I want it. I bet @benfinoradin/@textfiles could point to good preservation practices for Kuro5hin. I would help!
➛
Nov 13, 2013

all i'm saying is that sanger thing is critical for...

@rustyk5 all i'm saying is that sanger thing is critical for understanding our changing perception of open data, it kind of blew my mind
➛
Nov 13, 2013

i think it'd be really sad if the only representation was...

@rustyk5 i think it'd be really sad if the only representation was the HTML output, the life of the thing is in its database
➛
Nov 13, 2013

digital archivists could help you preserve as much of this...

@rustyk5 digital archivists could help you preserve as much of this incredibly important data as possible
➛
Nov 13, 2013

it's like you said "i don't know probably" to "is your...

@rustyk5 it's like you said "i don't know probably" to "is your gutenberg bible safe from floods"
➛
Nov 13, 2013

God is this stuff all on http://archive.org in case you...

@rustyk5 God is this stuff all on archive.org in case you fuck up DNS again? Because holy bacon pancakes this is amazing.
➛
Nov 13, 2013

“racism, nationalism, suicide pacts, death threats,...

@rustyk5 “racism, nationalism, suicide pacts, death threats, stalking, empty pointless cultural wasteland” kuro5hin.org/...
➛
Nov 13, 2013

But also: Nupedia who?

@rustyk5 But also: Nupedia who?
➛
Nov 13, 2013

Some days it feels like Houellebecq is the only writer in...

Some days it feels like Houellebecq is the only writer in the world graphics8.nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 13, 2013

but then i was a sysadmin

@shabbychef but then i was a sysadmin
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“I thought things like, ‘Well, Steve Jobs had issues, but...

“I thought things like, ‘Well, Steve Jobs had issues, but Apple turned out just fine. It’ll be ok, Greg.’” medium.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

The Personal Transport Cruiser United States of America...

The Personal Transport Cruiser United States of America book looks good: theawl.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

i just remember a very serious youth pastor saying, "we...

@billwasik i just remember a very serious youth pastor saying, "we can't use this."
➛
Nov 12, 2013

I CANNOT remember. I think it was a sort of traveling...

@billwasik I CANNOT remember. I think it was a sort of traveling religious rock musical thing.
➛
Nov 12, 2013

In 1988 I was nearly thrown out of youth group for a...

@billwasik In 1988 I was nearly thrown out of youth group for a too-harsh music review.
➛
Nov 12, 2013

Dear World, I would want to write for Hugo Lindgren even if...

Dear World, I would want to write for Hugo Lindgren even if he were editing a church newsletter. He loves writers. Sincerely, Paul Ford
➛
Nov 12, 2013

thanks! and wow, as acronyms go, that's...pretty good...

@bobdc thanks! and wow, as acronyms go, that's...pretty good actually.
➛
Nov 12, 2013

Good fine art explainer: http://mlkshk.com/p/VG2W

Good fine art explainer: mlkshk.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

I tweet good sentences as I read them, then read...

@mcguirejpatrick I tweet good sentences as I read them, then read (occasionally skimming) to the end. It's all about sentences w/me.
➛
Nov 12, 2013

god quirksmode keeps doing the lord's work, here's an...

god quirksmode keeps doing the lord's work, here's an explainer on viewports and platform identification quirksmode.org/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“What was accomplished by your sacrifice and by the waste...

“What was accomplished by your sacrifice and by the waste of lives and treasure in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan?” truth-out.org/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“In the 14 years I’ve been here, I’ve never seen an...

“In the 14 years I’ve been here, I’ve never seen an American working in the fields.” modernfarmer.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“Ctrl-R as ‘make all’ for the web isn’t perfect, but it was...

“Ctrl-R as ‘make all’ for the web isn’t perfect, but it was hugely enabling.” infrequently.org/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“We deserve respect for being human, and it ends there.”...

“We deserve respect for being human, and it ends there.” bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“People can't be pro-bike in a mainstream publication...

“People can't be pro-bike in a mainstream publication without first beating the crap out of cyclists.” bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“BlackBerry has left Struggletown and is on its way to...

“BlackBerry has left Struggletown and is on its way to Bankruptville.” nymag.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“Mourning Blockbuster is like mourning some big, dumb robot...

“Mourning Blockbuster is like mourning some big, dumb robot that succumbed to rust after standing in the rain.” grantland.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“The biggest problem we face is a philosophical one:...

“The biggest problem we face is a philosophical one: understanding that this civilization is already dead.” opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“‘This is like a farmer going out and dumping all his...

“‘This is like a farmer going out and dumping all his fertilizer on the weeds rather than on the tomatoes.’” salon.com/...
➛
Nov 12, 2013

“Duvan Giraldo, 26, a software technician in Elmhurst,...

“Duvan Giraldo, 26, a software technician in Elmhurst, Queens, said satisfying a partner ‘is always my mission.’’” well.blogs.nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 11, 2013

it looks like the great circle equation in shape but i...

@datatelling @sfpc_school it looks like the great circle equation in shape but i can't quite make it out
➛
Nov 11, 2013

have read! part of it. the assembler parts throw me off.

@fivetonsflax have read! part of it. the assembler parts throw me off.
➛
Nov 11, 2013

sorry canada uses a different version of javascript called...

@tharsheblows sorry canada uses a different version of javascript called timhortonscript can't help you
➛
Nov 11, 2013

Also, fun fact, Date.parse() doesn't behave the same way in...

Also, fun fact, Date.parse() doesn't behave the same way in Chrome vs. Safari/Firefox. Using moment.js for all dates works, though.
➛
Nov 11, 2013

(I should hedge here. “cal” is like a poem about the...

(I should hedge here. “cal” is like a poem about the meaning of time, while gnu grep is non-trivial crazycakes. Etc.)
➛
Nov 11, 2013

I've noticed that if you read old Unix utils code, it's...

I've noticed that if you read old Unix utils code, it's amazing how dumb and predictable it all is. Completely obvious. And then I went, oh.
➛
Nov 11, 2013

Just replaced 600 lines of awesome, event-based, broken...

Just replaced 600 lines of awesome, event-based, broken JavaScript with 12 lines of dull, if/then-based, working JavaScript. Like an adult.
➛
Nov 11, 2013

“Americans can text the word AID to 27722 to donate $10” to...

“Americans can text the word AID to 27722 to donate $10” to World Food Programme. huffingtonpost.com/...
➛
Nov 11, 2013

“We middle classes are simply experiencing what the working...

“We middle classes are simply experiencing what the working classes have been through since the 1970s.” ft.com/...
➛
Nov 11, 2013

just not able to jam a lot of REST principles into a...

@paddyforan just not able to jam a lot of REST principles into a mass-market article
➛
Nov 11, 2013

thanks--no need, despite your criticism, which I welcome, I...

@paddyforan thanks--no need, despite your criticism, which I welcome, I am actually very comfortable on the subject
➛
Nov 10, 2013

not actually awkward

@paddyforan not actually awkward
➛
Nov 10, 2013

Twitter put me in fave jail, and I'm only like 1/3 done...

@justwinston @yo_stellar Twitter put me in fave jail, and I'm only like 1/3 done faving tweets about that article. It's like i'm doing it wr
➛
Nov 9, 2013

“Nobody wants to kill a cyclist, but the total absence of...

“Nobody wants to kill a cyclist, but the total absence of consequence does little to focus the mind.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 9, 2013

“Most cops spend their lives in cars, too, so that’s where...

“Most cops spend their lives in cars, too, so that’s where their sympathies lie.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 9, 2013

“You don’t have to be a lefty pinko cycling activist to...

“You don’t have to be a lefty pinko cycling activist to find something weird about that.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 9, 2013

“They seem to have a hundred lovely metaphors, with a...

“They seem to have a hundred lovely metaphors, with a donkey or a bucket or whatever, for everything in life.” newyorker.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

remember what you said about wikipedia edd it's an amazing...

@edd remember what you said about wikipedia edd it's an amazing line
➛
Nov 7, 2013

not even getting in the middle of this one

@rebeccablood not even getting in the middle of this one
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“Like the common Swiss tool, the Roman version has a lot of...

“Like the common Swiss tool, the Roman version has a lot of foldaway implements stowed inside.” wired.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

anil i know you don't drink but ruff endz is fantastic

@anildash anil i know you don't drink but ruff endz is fantastic
➛
Nov 7, 2013

anil you know you are all like oh no don't make me write...

@anildash anil you know you are all like oh no don't make me write about the jodeci kickstarter i will just try and stop me come and talk to
➛
Nov 7, 2013

jodeci related artists on spotify is a treasure chest hello...

jodeci related artists on spotify is a treasure chest hello floetry hello dave hollister & welcome to the rest of my evening
➛
Nov 7, 2013

I love Python, but the smoothest programming language is...

I love Python, but the smoothest programming language is JoDeC++.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

paul ford, ghost editor, the internet

@rustyk5 paul ford, ghost editor, the internet
➛
Nov 7, 2013

All day long in vain I waited for the headline “Hype is the...

All day long in vain I waited for the headline “Hype is the thing with feathers.” For shame, the media.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“[Bragg] also suggested that artists are wasting their...

“[Bragg] also suggested that artists are wasting their energies criticising Spotify and other streaming services.” theguardian.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“The media story of who did what, who really made a...

“The media story of who did what, who really made a difference, won’t have more than a bare relation to the truth.” medium.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

kevin by focusing on meetings you're ignoring the real...

@kevinmarks @nickbilton kevin by focusing on meetings you're ignoring the real enemy, conference calls.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

i checked with folks, there were a LOT of meetings

@kevinmarks @nickbilton i checked with folks, there were a LOT of meetings
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“If Hammack is able to get his income at or below $62,000,...

“If Hammack is able to get his income at or below $62,000, he stands to save $10,740” on health care propublica.org/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

also i really only use git never mercurial

@anildash @kevinpurdy also i really only use git never mercurial
➛
Nov 7, 2013

At SxSW, I chuckled from the audience at Kevin's t-shirt....

@anildash @kevinpurdy At SxSW, I chuckled from the audience at Kevin's t-shirt. He has, in the past, invited me to betas.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

i sent that as a real DM first by accident because I had no...

i sent that as a real DM first by accident because I had no idea you could just type dm in a tweet to dm and now i am ashamed
➛
Nov 7, 2013

- DM @kevinpurdy is $200 enough

- DM @kevinpurdy is $200 enough
➛
Nov 7, 2013

This set of first tweets from media orgs is fun if you...

This set of first tweets from media orgs is fun if you enjoy gently mocking media organizations #more-228845" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.poynter.org/latest-news/mediawire/228845/the-first-tweets-from-news-organizations/#more-228845
➛
Nov 7, 2013

then i would say you are lucky nozzles because that's an...

@nzle then i would say you are lucky nozzles because that's an awesome list of papers
➛
Nov 7, 2013

some days i can't believe i'm not dreaming

@rebeccablood some days i can't believe i'm not dreaming
➛
Nov 7, 2013

it's one day a year matt

@capndesign it's one day a year matt
➛
Nov 7, 2013

you could but then they'll see that your t-shirt has holes...

@capndesign you could but then they'll see that your t-shirt has holes in it and your mom will make that sniff face
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“The Web reminds me of [something totally unrelated, like...

“The Web reminds me of [something totally unrelated, like HVAC installation] because [an insane reason that is boring].”—Your dad, soon
➛
Nov 7, 2013

If you are a 25-year-old dev your dad is going to read my...

If you are a 25-year-old dev your dad is going to read my piece and tell you about your own job for two hours while you wear a warm sweater.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

My goal as a writer is to give older parents a way to say...

My goal as a writer is to give older parents a way to say to their kids, “I read about what you do. About A&Ps.” And thus ruin Thanksgiving.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

Returning to M-NET, two decades later: “A modest, tiny...

Returning to M-NET, two decades later: “A modest, tiny Internet that lived in my backyard.” onthemedia.org/... cc/@textfiles
➛
Nov 7, 2013

Okay so @onthemedia's TLDR blog is doing a podcast and this...

Okay so @onthemedia's TLDR blog is doing a podcast and this episode is all about this old BBS that's STILL RUNNING onthemedia.org/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“We love pregame flyovers that culminate in actual...

“We love pregame flyovers that culminate in actual airstrikes.” grantland.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“If you have a penis and feelings, you'd better cut one of...

“If you have a penis and feelings, you'd better cut one of them off.” grantland.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“This was ancient Greek soundtrack music.”...

“This was ancient Greek soundtrack music.” bbc.co.uk/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

Heavy hangs the head that inserts the crown.

Heavy hangs the head that inserts the crown.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

I have to describe the world we have Gabriel not the world...

@gabrielroth I have to describe the world we have Gabriel not the world I wish we had
➛
Nov 7, 2013

I love that art so much, it's just straight-up vivisection.

@phillydesign I love that art so much, it's just straight-up vivisection.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

the sound of knees jerking is the music of the internet.

the sound of knees jerking is the music of the internet.
➛
Nov 7, 2013

thanks, and welcome to being worth $78 per user!

@johnhassell thanks, and welcome to being worth $78 per user!
➛
Nov 7, 2013

hahahhaaaeohwrgihqwroighasdojhs

@johnhassell hahahhaaaeohwrgihqwroighasdojhs
➛
Nov 7, 2013

“Once born, tweets must find their way to the world, like a...

“Once born, tweets must find their way to the world, like a just-hatched sea turtle crawling to the surf.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

I would think so—but giant media companies have their own...

@thesamstark I would think so—but giant media companies have their own rules. And maybe newsstand competition factors in?
➛
Nov 7, 2013

Also my god this cover trail: http://www.businessweek.com/ar...

Also my god this cover trail: businessweek.com/...
➛
Nov 7, 2013

Growing up, I dreamed that a business weekly would let me...

Growing up, I dreamed that a business weekly would let me chat for 2,000 words about the fields in Twitter's JSON. businessweek.com/...
➛
Nov 6, 2013

see now this is a good conversation

@tcarmody @michelet see now this is a good conversation
➛
Nov 6, 2013

in the proud tower by barbara tuchman there's a great...

@ddt in the proud tower by barbara tuchman there's a great moment where the anarchists first meet up with the syndicalists, recommended
➛
Nov 6, 2013

yeah, but like, an email that people read

@rustyk5 yeah, but like, an email that people read
➛
Nov 6, 2013

all right back to my tmux terminal

all right back to my tmux terminal
➛
Nov 6, 2013

ended up as a tour guide

@tcarmody ended up as a tour guide
➛
Nov 6, 2013

you know, once this IPO is over, there's still room in the...

you know, once this IPO is over, there's still room in the marketplace for a basic, no-frills microblogging service
➛
Nov 6, 2013

oh you know how i'm saying it

@tcarmody oh you know how i'm saying it
➛
Nov 6, 2013

tim look closely at your feet are they trochaic

@tcarmody tim look closely at your feet are they trochaic
➛
Nov 6, 2013

whatever whatever

@tcarmody whatever whatever
➛
Nov 6, 2013

it is really, really complicated, but it all worked out,...

@narwhalynn it is really, really complicated, but it all worked out, except i guess for the strawberries who tasted freedom
➛
Nov 6, 2013

i totally get that. i think they are fine unless they grew...

@narwhalynn i totally get that. i think they are fine unless they grew up in a seafood neighborhood.
➛
Nov 6, 2013

oh man i had a few drinks let's see what @narwhalynn is up...

oh man i had a few drinks let's see what @narwhalynn is up to she is HILARIOUS and it's HER BIRTHDAY for another hour
➛
Nov 6, 2013

did you check that your browser accepts cookies?

@rustyk5 @Runchal @Oreo did you check that your browser accepts cookies?
➛
Nov 6, 2013

which brands do you think will engage us first? my bet is...

@rustyk5 which brands do you think will engage us first? my bet is large automobile manufacturers.
➛
Nov 6, 2013

i tried tweetbot but it's like a part time job. also, i am...

@rustyk5 i tried tweetbot but it's like a part time job. also, i am totally okay with big-picture twitter. i'm ready for brands to engage me
➛
Nov 6, 2013

all these brands are amassed on the border, waiting

@rustyk5 all these brands are amassed on the border, waiting
➛
Nov 6, 2013

Thomas Kuhn predicted this in his lesser-known work on the...

@mollyculetheory Thomas Kuhn predicted this in his lesser-known work on the Peekaboo Shift
➛
Nov 6, 2013

it's no fun creating value for shareholders in an attention...

@rustyk5 it's no fun creating value for shareholders in an attention economy
➛
Nov 6, 2013

rusty after the ipo i worry things will be different

@rustyk5 rusty after the ipo i worry things will be different
➛
Nov 6, 2013

i kind of want to delete that one

@silviakillings i kind of want to delete that one
➛
Nov 6, 2013

okay sure i used to really believe in radical manhattanism...

okay sure i used to really believe in radical manhattanism but i guess i'm just another neoradical manhattanist these days
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Nov 6, 2013

charlie is a good name too

@vruba charlie is a good name too
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Nov 6, 2013

wtf is wrong with having a name, a nice honest name, just a...

wtf is wrong with having a name, a nice honest name, just a couple dactyls, warm rain, slow food, mack truck, good dogs, paul ford, rob ford
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Nov 6, 2013

we are not for caves tim

@tcarmody we are not for caves tim
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Nov 6, 2013

we've only just begun

@mize we've only just begun
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Nov 6, 2013

“Even his name is obviously and obscenely American: ‘Rob...

“Even his name is obviously and obscenely American: ‘Rob Ford.’” gawker.com/... MIDDLE FINGER HELICOPTER
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Nov 6, 2013

“Coming up with a word like neuromancer...would earn you a...

“Coming up with a word like neuromancer...would earn you a really fine vacation if you worked in an ad agency.” theparisreview.org/...
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Nov 6, 2013

“It was the first day in four years that nobody was killed...

“It was the first day in four years that nobody was killed in traffic.” theguardian.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

“The less-famous Marty Walsh said he thanked Biden for his...

“The less-famous Marty Walsh said he thanked Biden for his kind words, but told him that he reached the wrong Marty.” boston.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

“In 2008, ACRES created the first fluorescent cat.”...

“In 2008, ACRES created the first fluorescent cat.” theverge.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

“Copyright enforcement through official channels is either...

“Copyright enforcement through official channels is either nothing or full nuclear.” blogs.scientificamerican.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

excuse me maam do you enjoy caves

@sjttocs excuse me maam do you enjoy caves
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Nov 6, 2013

i mean where do you even start with that

i mean where do you even start with that
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Nov 6, 2013

“The site is about 30 metres underground and can only be...

“The site is about 30 metres underground and can only be accessed by someone with a bust of 18cm or less.” timeslive.co.za/...
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Nov 6, 2013

or a science fiction film where all but one of them dies...

@jackrusher or a science fiction film where all but one of them dies when they awaken a terrible cave monster
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Nov 6, 2013

he would but the secret service won't let him use the...

@rustyk5 he would but the secret service won't let him use the javascript console
➛
Nov 6, 2013

don't distract them while they're surging

@rustyk5 don't distract them while they're surging
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Nov 6, 2013

there was a ladybug in my headphones so my day is over

there was a ladybug in my headphones so my day is over
➛
Nov 6, 2013

“‘Civilisation has to a certain extent depended on...

“‘Civilisation has to a certain extent depended on whistleblowers,’ Berners-Lee said.” theguardian.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

the fault, dear rusty, is not in the tabs, but

@rustyk5 the fault, dear rusty, is not in the tabs, but
➛
Nov 6, 2013

if animals don't want to be eaten they should learn to code

if animals don't want to be eaten they should learn to code
➛
Nov 6, 2013

anyone who gets that joke deserves to suffer

@piersadrian anyone who gets that joke deserves to suffer
➛
Nov 6, 2013

if your bot is slow doing dictionary matches then trie trie...

if your bot is slow doing dictionary matches then trie trie again
➛
Nov 6, 2013

oh no citation needed, but you're swell

@merveille oh no citation needed, but you're swell
➛
Nov 6, 2013

what makes a bootleg white-label?

@mmmmcgregor what makes a bootleg white-label?
➛
Nov 6, 2013

i guess remixed—it feels like samples are easier to narrow...

@nevanking i guess remixed—it feels like samples are easier to narrow down
➛
Nov 6, 2013

“Frankly, the quality of safety provision for students at...

“Frankly, the quality of safety provision for students at Hogwarts is totally unacceptable.” slate.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

Does anyone know the most remixed song in history? Besides...

Does anyone know the most remixed song in history? Besides the Amen break song, I guess. Papua New Guinea had 29 remixes.
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Nov 6, 2013

I mean you work in the industry, you need to follow this...

@MacDiva I mean you work in the industry, you need to follow this where it leads.
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Nov 6, 2013

I liked that piece quite a bit. I could see the wheels...

@jason_hutchens I liked that piece quite a bit. I could see the wheels turning. I'm finding that my own thoughts are focusing--takes YEARS.
➛
Nov 6, 2013

“The Chinese realized that whatever is clogging the...

“The Chinese realized that whatever is clogging the atmosphere is rendering government surveillance ineffective.” qz.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

“The innovation industry is hardly new.”...

“The innovation industry is hardly new.” bostonmagazine.com/...
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Nov 6, 2013

“Yet it wasn’t as if the stars of Hollywood were suddenly...

“Yet it wasn’t as if the stars of Hollywood were suddenly out of order, throwing larger parties, doing harder drugs.” vqronline.org/...
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Nov 6, 2013

“And discard the notion that journalists and engineers and...

“And discard the notion that journalists and engineers and graphic designers should work separately.” propublica.org/...
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Nov 5, 2013

omg this awesome picture of digital archivists at work...

omg this awesome picture of digital archivists at work programseries.com/...
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Nov 5, 2013

that's a lot of 90s right there

@jlax that's a lot of 90s right there
➛
Nov 5, 2013

“Frakes appeared on the 1994 Phish album Hoist, playing...

“Frakes appeared on the 1994 Phish album Hoist, playing trombone on the track titled ‘Riker's Mailbox’.” en.wikipedia.org/...
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Nov 5, 2013

rusty i'm from CBS news we need to talk with you about the...

@rustyk5 rusty i'm from CBS news we need to talk with you about the gazelle video please call me 202-394-3044
➛
Nov 5, 2013

gawker urgently needs that video

@rustyk5 gawker urgently needs that video
➛
Nov 5, 2013

you could have voted against yourself and avoided this...

@rustyk5 you could have voted against yourself and avoided this rusty this is what democracy looks like
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Nov 5, 2013

which will make for fantastic tweets during meetings

@rustyk5 which will make for fantastic tweets during meetings
➛
Nov 5, 2013

rusty if you don't write yourself in on the ballot who will...

@rustyk5 rusty if you don't write yourself in on the ballot who will govern maine?
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Nov 5, 2013

BTW, if you're a dude & love tech but are worn out by...

BTW, if you're a dude & love tech but are worn out by techbros, find a lady boss. Of necessity they see tech differently and you will too.
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Nov 5, 2013

god even our bots are sexist pigs

@halvorson god even our bots are sexist pigs
➛
Nov 5, 2013

yeah that's a real bad one

@halvorson yeah that's a real bad one
➛
Nov 5, 2013

"You think that it happens at a bar with some creepy worker...

"You think that it happens at a bar with some creepy worker in the corner but it doesn't. It happens at work." abclocal.go.com/...
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Nov 5, 2013

“Her lesson: always watch your drink, and don’t be afraid...

“Her lesson: always watch your drink, and don’t be afraid to contact authorities about anyone, including your boss.” blog.chron.com/...
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Nov 5, 2013

absolutely, scholarship applications are available for $500...

@esehcirichese absolutely, scholarship applications are available for $500 and five percent of applicants are guaranteed admittance!
➛
Nov 5, 2013

that's an interesting question to ask at BOTSTOCK14...

@esehcirichese that's an interesting question to ask at BOTSTOCK14 ($4,000) where you'll be able to pose it to leading bots & bot-makers!
➛
Nov 5, 2013

you simply pay $10,000 annually for licensing! everybody...

@esehcirichese you simply pay $10,000 annually for licensing! everybody wins!
➛
Nov 5, 2013

God I wish someone would release a survey of bot architect...

God I wish someone would release a survey of bot architect salaries, it's been HOURS.
➛
Nov 5, 2013

by either the American Bot Authority or AGA (Automaton...

@esehcirichese by either the American Bot Authority or AGA (Automaton Genehmigungsbehörde Europa)
➛
Nov 5, 2013

to be clear, i'm not attempting to shoehorn in on the...

to be clear, i'm not attempting to shoehorn in on the excellent bot work already done. i'm just suggesting that bots need more enterprise.
➛
Nov 5, 2013

my god my god my god i love this

@hmason my god my god my god i love this
➛
Nov 5, 2013

yes but it's all artsy and "thoughtful" and "smart" i'm...

@ckolderup @nybots yes but it's all artsy and "thoughtful" and "smart" i'm trying to automate social media management here #brandlikethewind
➛
Nov 5, 2013

oooh I love Erhardt he could totally keynote BotStock

@digiphile oooh I love Erhardt he could totally keynote BotStock
➛
Nov 5, 2013

don't ask me, ask any number of highly interactive bots

@jeffehobbs don't ask me, ask any number of highly interactive bots
➛
Nov 5, 2013

Guys with ONE totally fake conference (BOTSTOCK14) and ONE...

Guys with ONE totally fake conference (BOTSTOCK14) and ONE website with like five articles, we can make bot architecture a thing.
➛
Nov 5, 2013

Key brand question: Have you architected an enterprise bot...

Key brand question: Have you architected an enterprise bot services platform?Have you engaged a Licensed Bot Architect or LBA?
➛
Nov 5, 2013

Media organizations: What is your bot strategy? #sxsw2015

Media organizations: What is your bot strategy? #sxsw2015
➛
Nov 5, 2013

Anil can we get MY CHILD HATES ME stickers for when our...

@mimismartypants @anildash Anil can we get MY CHILD HATES ME stickers for when our children say it? "Oh, I better wear my sticker then."
➛
Nov 5, 2013

“If you think about it, ‘CMS’ is really just a less stuffy...

“If you think about it, ‘CMS’ is really just a less stuffy way to say ‘invite-only technology platform,’ anyway.” medium.com/...
➛
Nov 5, 2013

Everyone go vote please. It's very important and you get a...

Everyone go vote please. It's very important and you get a sticker.
➛
Nov 4, 2013

“They seem to believe their customers have the brain power...

“They seem to believe their customers have the brain power of a baked potato.” vice.com/...
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Nov 4, 2013

not as dangerous as it will be if i don't get my cof

@bizweekgraphics not as dangerous as it will be if i don't get my cof
➛
Nov 4, 2013

“Goodbye forever, Balthazar!” http://www.theawl.com/2013/11/...

“Goodbye forever, Balthazar!” theawl.com/...
➛
Nov 4, 2013

FT corrects: “An argument by moral philosopher Peter Singer...

FT corrects: “An argument by moral philosopher Peter Singer was attritubted (sic) to hedge fund manager Paul Singer.” ft.com/...
➛
Nov 4, 2013

i am so thirsty for something, some beverage i can only...

@harrisj @bizweekgraphics i am so thirsty for something, some beverage i can only just recall, perhaps if i drank some i'd know what is happ
➛
Nov 4, 2013

“In the ‘hybrid economy" that the Internet is, there is an...

“In the ‘hybrid economy" that the Internet is, there is an ethical obligation to treat users decently.” lessig.tumblr.com/...
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Nov 4, 2013

“You will have to say: we need free enquiry because freedom...

“You will have to say: we need free enquiry because freedom of thought is good in itself.” mg.co.za/...
➛
Nov 4, 2013

Lots of mid-to-late-1980s mall photos: “'I was interested...

Lots of mid-to-late-1980s mall photos: “'I was interested in the creeping loss of regional differences.'” dailymail.co.uk/...
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Nov 3, 2013

i hope you didn't spend your advance

@rustyk5 @AdrianChen i hope you didn't spend your advance
➛
Nov 3, 2013

they opened a heeseake fatory near Tyho it's real nie

@mollyculetheory they opened a heeseake fatory near Tyho it's real nie
➛
Nov 3, 2013

For 300+ years, we've been teetering on the edge, one...

@rustyk5 @AdrianChen For 300+ years, we've been teetering on the edge, one on-time book review away from total immolation.
➛
Nov 3, 2013

Rusty if ANYONE ever turned in a book review on time, the...

@rustyk5 @AdrianChen Rusty if ANYONE ever turned in a book review on time, the world would end. It's the dark secret of publishing.
➛
Nov 3, 2013

i hired a dude to stand there and beat me up if i start any...

@angrysql i hired a dude to stand there and beat me up if i start any new projects
➛
Nov 3, 2013

i left out the c for computational complexity

@mollyculetheory i left out the c for computational complexity
➛
Nov 3, 2013

the t-shirts are late because the looms acquired...

@mollyculetheory the t-shirts are late because the looms acquired intelligence and colonized the moon, now called Jaquard
➛
Nov 3, 2013

it says the best things

@Hez it says the best things
➛
Nov 3, 2013

I want it to be the literary equivalent of this artwork...

I want it to be the literary equivalent of this artwork where the final gear only turns once every two trillion years youtube.com/...
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Nov 3, 2013

then i would be late in writing it, so i'd have to write...

then i would be late in writing it, so i'd have to write email apologies apologizing for the late apologies
➛
Nov 3, 2013

except i want to do the apologies in real-time and...

except i want to do the apologies in real-time and crowdsource the project. tentative name: THE LONG APOLOGY.
➛
Nov 3, 2013

i'd like to write a sci-fi story entirely in email updates...

i'd like to write a sci-fi story entirely in email updates apologizing for the late delivery of a crowdsourced project over a 25-year-span
➛
Nov 3, 2013

i was only following my passion officer

i was only following my passion officer
➛
Nov 3, 2013

inbox of shame

inbox of shame
➛
Nov 3, 2013

after “riding the hashtag” the next thing you should do is...

after “riding the hashtag” the next thing you should do is laundry
➛
Nov 3, 2013

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot...

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot engaging with a human face—forever.
➛
Nov 3, 2013

“They call it ‘riding the hashtag’ here.”...

“They call it ‘riding the hashtag’ here.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 3, 2013

“‘The people I’m trying to hire here are journalists and...

“‘The people I’m trying to hire here are journalists and improv actors,’ Mr. Vaynerchuk said.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 3, 2013

“Vaynerchuk's accomplishments include the building of...

“Vaynerchuk's accomplishments include the building of VaynerMedia, which opened in 2009 and now has 290 employees.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 2, 2013

helpful! Thanks.

@joXn helpful! Thanks.
➛
Nov 2, 2013

The NSA has made it possible for a national-intelligence...

The NSA has made it possible for a national-intelligence story to ask: Should America cut out SNACKS?
➛
Nov 2, 2013

This newspaper sure got it wrong about Truman on election...

@anildash This newspaper sure got it wrong about Truman on election day!
➛
Nov 2, 2013

“Social Network Analysis Collaboration Knowledge Services”...

“Social Network Analysis Collaboration Knowledge Services” NSA SNACKS nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 2, 2013

If your headline contains the word “this,” you've lost all...

If your headline contains the word “this,” you've lost all self-respect.
➛
Nov 2, 2013

I also watched that while recuperating and remember a sort...

@jackrusher I also watched that while recuperating and remember a sort of warm, reflective CGI glow. How's the shoulder?
➛
Nov 2, 2013

If "大器晚成" can mean both "grand talents mature slowly" and...

If "大器晚成" can mean both "grand talents mature slowly" and "a big construction is always completed late" at once then Chinese is superior.
➛
Nov 2, 2013

English has great new words from time to time. Like...

@thanland English has great new words from time to time. Like "mondegreen"! (1954)
➛
Nov 2, 2013

Google translate has "大器晚成" as "grand talents mature...

Google translate has "大器晚成" as "grand talents mature slowly," which is also fantastic.
➛
Nov 2, 2013

“He also adds an old Chinese saying ‘大器晚成’ - A big...

“He also adds an old Chinese saying ‘大器晚成’ - A big construction is always completed late.” kzhu.net/...
➛
Nov 2, 2013

They are 2 years. Gets a little easier every day. Well, and...

@egculbertson They are 2 years. Gets a little easier every day. Well, and harder.
➛
Nov 2, 2013

Watching my daughter scream over having to wear brown pants...

Watching my daughter scream over having to wear brown pants instead of dirty pink pants has taught me about how users see new features.
➛
Nov 1, 2013

“In order for an iPhone app to appear to be the width of an...

“In order for an iPhone app to appear to be the width of an iPhone icon, it would have to be about 5.33 feet away.” buzzfeed.com/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

this has not been true for so long janet

@JPaskin this has not been true for so long janet
➛
Nov 1, 2013

i'd feel real sad if the reason bad joke cat didn't update...

i'd feel real sad if the reason bad joke cat didn't update after august 18 is because it was run over by bad joke car
➛
Nov 1, 2013

what should simply be a place without cell phone calls...

@michelet what should simply be a place without cell phone calls turns into america's longest-running experiment in passive-aggression
➛
Nov 1, 2013

oh the quiet car is so nice except for the people who think...

@michelet oh the quiet car is so nice except for the people who think I TYPE TOO LOUD ulgh
➛
Nov 1, 2013

leibniz/newton was NOTHING compared to the importance of...

@varanine leibniz/newton was NOTHING compared to the importance of this situation
➛
Nov 1, 2013

a fake cat stole something that took me 35 seconds cc/all...

a fake cat stole something that took me 35 seconds cc/all comedians
➛
Nov 1, 2013

misha what else do i have

@michelet misha what else do i have
➛
Nov 1, 2013

does this mean i can be one of those people who complains...

does this mean i can be one of those people who complains endlessly about joke thieves even though no one cares ever, at all
➛
Nov 1, 2013

i haven't looked at bad joke cat in months let's see oh hey...

i haven't looked at bad joke cat in months let's see oh hey last update august 18 twitter.com/... but wait twitter.com/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

“Asked whether he preferred combat or the Sierra Madre,...

“Asked whether he preferred combat or the Sierra Madre, Loresto thought for a second and then said, ‘Combat.’” nytimes.com/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

“This means that roughly 10% of all Americans are former...

“This means that roughly 10% of all Americans are former Catholics.” religions.pewforum.org/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

“They took the ashes from the founder of _High Times_ and...

“They took the ashes from the founder of _High Times_ and mixed it in with an ounce of marijuana, and smoked it.” thenation.com/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

linking to good thinking instead of JUST to web things that...

linking to good thinking instead of JUST to web things that are hateful is going to be my personal brand
➛
Nov 1, 2013

here is honest and straightforward writing from personal...

here is honest and straightforward writing from personal experience about fatherhood and autism by @matthewbaldwin amonthofson.com/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

My new CMS is called TABMAKER

My new CMS is called TABMAKER
➛
Nov 1, 2013

“Quantifying a compelling topic with a numbered list makes...

“Quantifying a compelling topic with a numbered list makes your headline even more irresistible.” federatedmedia.net/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

“Acceptance is the recognition that autism is an integral...

“Acceptance is the recognition that autism is an integral part of this person you love, not some invading force.” amonthofson.com/...
➛
Nov 1, 2013

“‘If people are asking for money on Kickstarter, I figured...

“‘If people are asking for money on Kickstarter, I figured I could do worse than ask you all.’” adage.com/...
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