Ftrain, by Paul Ford

July 2013

Jul 31, 2013

Apparently, except it sent to me. Riddles. Internet riddles.

@alazyreader @Ftrain_ebooks Apparently, except it sent to me. Riddles. Internet riddles.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

Exactly! people should know that I was a famous character...

@rustyk5 @EmilyGould @nzle Exactly! people should know that I was a famous character actor in the 60s.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

Twitter just sent an email to ftrain+monteiro@gmail.com...

Twitter just sent an email to ftrain+monteiro@gmail.com with the subject “Ftrain Ebooks, do you know Mike Montiero?”
➛
Jul 31, 2013

I have sympathy for people who don't get many retweets. Too...

I have sympathy for people who don't get many retweets. Too bad I can't have empathy.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

no one else seems to have trouble recognizing me

@EmilyGould @nzle no one else seems to have trouble recognizing me
➛
Jul 31, 2013

“This is what marriage means to me.”

@maureenflaherty “This is what marriage means to me.”
➛
Jul 31, 2013

Yeah love and editing are the WORST combination.

@silviakillings @harrisj Yeah love and editing are the WORST combination.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

for the best

@tolar for the best
➛
Jul 31, 2013

excellent suggestion

@richziade excellent suggestion
➛
Jul 31, 2013

panels i tell you

panels i tell you
➛
Jul 31, 2013

Does anyone know where I can get a wrestler mask in midtown?

Does anyone know where I can get a wrestler mask in midtown?
➛
Jul 31, 2013

I haven't even figured out what I'm throwing at @richziade...

I haven't even figured out what I'm throwing at @richziade yet.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

tear it down and start over using Doug Engelbart's NLS

@soonisnow tear it down and start over using Doug Engelbart's NLS
➛
Jul 31, 2013

jaqui i'm entired

@jacqui jaqui i'm entired
➛
Jul 31, 2013

I'm going to throw stuff at @karenmcgrane until she stabs...

I'm going to throw stuff at @karenmcgrane until she stabs me in the eye with a pen and then I'll point out that pens suck.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

Book publishing? Kaizen? Kanban? GIFs? CMSes? Literature?...

Book publishing? Kaizen? Kanban? GIFs? CMSes? Literature? Genre literature? Graphic novels? Paragraphs? Style guides? DESTROY.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

Just so everyone knows, I'm annoyed with everything and am...

Just so everyone knows, I'm annoyed with everything and am going to profane the ENTIRELY of the publishing and dev industries tonight.
➛
Jul 31, 2013

Also there is stuff like Editorially that's for writers by...

@ibogost @anildash @fredbenenson Also there is stuff like Editorially that's for writers by writers. I'm writing abt it RIGHT NOW. In Word.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

I gotta say working this edit I totally landed that meh.

I gotta say working this edit I totally landed that meh.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

His "meh" is his job, it's fine.

@MacDiva His "meh" is his job, it's fine.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“Meh. Meh. That’s what you got for me. Meh.”—An editor

“Meh. Meh. That’s what you got for me. Meh.”—An editor
➛
Jul 30, 2013

I've had many urges to follow people but then I look out...

@rustyk5 I've had many urges to follow people but then I look out the window and pet a cat, and wave at a neighbor.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

All week, swear to God, I keep going “shouldn't I be angry...

@rustyk5 All week, swear to God, I keep going “shouldn't I be angry about something?” then going “nah, it's cool.”
➛
Jul 30, 2013

The Moon Manual of Style suggests that you refer to Earth...

The Moon Manual of Style suggests that you refer to Earth by era, as either “pre-fire-deluge Earth,” or “silent post-fire hell-Earth.”
➛
Jul 30, 2013

Wait, should he have capped “Summer” like that? Actually,...

Wait, should he have capped “Summer” like that? Actually, according to the Detroit Manual of Style, shut up.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

Stacks are the ecosystems of Summer.

Stacks are the ecosystems of Summer.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“The multisensory digital clutter bombarding him at all...

“The multisensory digital clutter bombarding him at all times seemed to be his natural working environment.” theatlanticwire.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“‘It’s in more museums than delivery rooms,’ he laments.”...

“‘It’s in more museums than delivery rooms,’ he laments.” newyorker.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“Having more equitable distribution in money, of course,...

“Having more equitable distribution in money, of course, led to us having better quality service and food.” jayporter.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“The tension is going to be between technology and...

“The tension is going to be between technology and creativity and the ‘marketing stack.’” adexchanger.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“I think the term going forward is ‘marketing stack.’”...

“I think the term going forward is ‘marketing stack.’” adexchanger.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“A good story butchered by a mediocre writer is a tragedy...

“A good story butchered by a mediocre writer is a tragedy that I hope always to avoid.” blog.warbyparker.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“This is a rockstar dream come true, an enormous event for...

“This is a rockstar dream come true, an enormous event for our little band and my life-long lust to play music.” matthewmcvickar.tumblr.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

Just in case you are wondering what @matthewmcvickar is...

Just in case you are wondering what @matthewmcvickar is doing tonight his band is opening for The Cure in Honolulu clonesofthequeen.com
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“We've reached out to Glass Lewis and Milk Truck (who...

“We've reached out to Glass Lewis and Milk Truck (who picked up and hung up the phone immediately when we called)...” gothamist.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

SWEEEEEEEEET. This brings back fond memories of parsing the...

@paulkruczynski @SunFoundation SWEEEEEEEEET. This brings back fond memories of parsing the Plum Book (and failing). Exciting!
➛
Jul 30, 2013

first they gamified grilled cheese trucks and still i did...

first they gamified grilled cheese trucks and still i did not tip
➛
Jul 30, 2013

“To be fair, maybe I'm not the best employee for a gamified...

“To be fair, maybe I'm not the best employee for a gamified grilled cheese truck.” theawl.com/...
➛
Jul 30, 2013

Not really a valley priority :/

@rustyk5 Not really a valley priority :/
➛
Jul 30, 2013

Like, into like a nice public repository with metadata and...

@rustyk5 Like, into like a nice public repository with metadata and goodness? Absolutely.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

I bet cancer researchers sit around going, “if only I had a...

I bet cancer researchers sit around going, “if only I had a beautiful Android app that would help me give away my research for free.”
➛
Jul 30, 2013

I would give this observation a Twobel prize if I could

@anildash I would give this observation a Twobel prize if I could
➛
Jul 30, 2013

Oh hey! Didn't know that was out.

@khanlou Oh hey! Didn't know that was out.
➛
Jul 30, 2013

It's true that Silicon Valley could, if it wanted, cure...

It's true that Silicon Valley could, if it wanted, cure cancer. But do you really want your cancer cures to be ad-supported?
➛
Jul 29, 2013

“‘We can't choose to ignore it. As soon as the words are...

“‘We can't choose to ignore it. As soon as the words are read, they have already hit emotionally.’” penny-arcade.com/...
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Create your hogwarts and done

@harrisj Create your hogwarts and done
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Greenlighting this

@harrisj Greenlighting this
➛
Jul 27, 2013

at this point no one expects otherwise

@alazyreader at this point no one expects otherwise
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Artists are the antennae of the oh god hold my hair

Artists are the antennae of the oh god hold my hair
➛
Jul 27, 2013

every time fucking Weltanschauung I swear to god

@fake_train every time fucking Weltanschauung I swear to god
➛
Jul 27, 2013

You want people to care about global poverty? Wizards.

You want people to care about global poverty? Wizards.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

The secret is building a fandom and having cons. Imagine a...

The secret is building a fandom and having cons. Imagine a movie series where wizards fight corporate greed. Blam, revitalized left.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Srsly no wizards? Fuck it, you're wasting your time.

Srsly no wizards? Fuck it, you're wasting your time.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Sometimes you drink a bunch and its like why are we even...

Sometimes you drink a bunch and its like why are we even fighting all anyone cares about is sex movies and shit with wizards in it.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

An Italian bicyclist crashes his bike into that same SUV...

@thelancearthur An Italian bicyclist crashes his bike into that same SUV and yells out, I—
➛
Jul 27, 2013

nooooooooooooo

@shani_o nooooooooooooo
➛
Jul 27, 2013

A little girl travels the world subtly insulting other...

A little girl travels the world subtly insulting other little girls: Fedora the Explorer
➛
Jul 27, 2013

one word: waterfall

@anildash one word: waterfall
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Oh god babe are you TRYING to get people to talk about 3D...

@maureenflaherty Oh god babe are you TRYING to get people to talk about 3D printing?
➛
Jul 27, 2013

In Ingmar Bergman's classic film The Seventh Sigma, Death...

In Ingmar Bergman's classic film The Seventh Sigma, Death skips the chess match and harvests Max von Sydow immediately.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Also average over what? Needs more Sigma.

@gnat Also average over what? Needs more Sigma.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

I'm sure it's like all of us: They are so distracted...

@gnat I'm sure it's like all of us: They are so distracted looking for the perfect fridge optimization strategy that the milk goes sour.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

thanks for participating! your response was noted.

@eventi thanks for participating! your response was noted.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

“At a soup kitchen in Harlem, Toyota’s engineers cut down...

“At a soup kitchen in Harlem, Toyota’s engineers cut down the wait time for dinner to 18 minutes from as long as 90.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 27, 2013

“Toyota’s emphasis on efficiency proved transformative for...

“Toyota’s emphasis on efficiency proved transformative for the Food Bank.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 27, 2013

“Foundation dollars should be the best ‘risk capital’ out...

“Foundation dollars should be the best ‘risk capital’ out there.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 27, 2013

“I’m really not calling for an end to capitalism; I’m...

“I’m really not calling for an end to capitalism; I’m calling for humanism.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 27, 2013

“All are searching for answers with their right hand to...

“All are searching for answers with their right hand to problems that others in the room created with their left.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 27, 2013

cats are deeply incompatible with magsafe

cats are deeply incompatible with magsafe
➛
Jul 27, 2013

And compare that paper to a typical ad-driven website,...

@Choire And compare that paper to a typical ad-driven website, whereby I deliver $1.50 of value to the publisher by viewing 4,500 pages.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

Saturday is my cheat day.

@Choire Saturday is my cheat day.
➛
Jul 27, 2013

“In short, I was extremely happy with my newspaper...

“In short, I was extremely happy with my newspaper purchase, which delivered a lot more than $1.50 of value to me.” businessinsider.com/...
➛
Jul 26, 2013

“I suggest keeping an eye on the work of Bret Victor and...

“I suggest keeping an eye on the work of Bret Victor and Mike Bostock.” #axzz2aBj9w7FJ" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/dda1cb5c-f4c0-11e2-a62e-00144feabdc0.html#axzz2aBj9w7FJ
➛
Jul 26, 2013

what i really wish we had were rock tours on private...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @silviakillings what i really wish we had were rock tours on private zeppelins because then METAL WOULD STILL RULE
➛
Jul 26, 2013

file a bug

@finn file a bug
➛
Jul 26, 2013

if things go too far then something might happen, but this...

if things go too far then something might happen, but this is not the real story
➛
Jul 26, 2013

silvia i have sgml files older than you

@silviakillings silvia i have sgml files older than you
➛
Jul 26, 2013

important question @USATODAY Does "The New Yorker" cover of...

important question @USATODAY Does "The New Yorker" cover of Anthony Weiner go too far? pic.twitter.com/AuBGn9eKYg@USATODAY
➛
Jul 26, 2013

If you paste export PS1="👻 >" into your terminal you...

If you paste
export PS1="👻 >"
into your terminal you will have a ghost in the shell
➛
Jul 25, 2013

Always leave a note.

@rsingel Always leave a note.
➛
Jul 25, 2013

Every now and then I use the icemaker in the fridge and...

Every now and then I use the icemaker in the fridge and think, Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!
➛
Jul 25, 2013

Can you imagine the amount of money Real World Records...

Can you imagine the amount of money Real World Records spent on reverb in the 1990s?
➛
Jul 25, 2013

joke_parsed = true

@buzz joke_parsed = true
➛
Jul 25, 2013

NSIDontUnderstandWhatsGoingOn

@buzz NSIDontUnderstandWhatsGoingOn
➛
Jul 25, 2013

that's why YOU have ruby

@buzz that's why YOU have ruby
➛
Jul 25, 2013

god that is true. the revelation of python for me was that...

@eaton god that is true. the revelation of python for me was that i didn't have to check the docs to do things.
➛
Jul 25, 2013

I like programming languages that make you feel like you're...

I like programming languages that make you feel like you're getting away with something.
➛
Jul 25, 2013

yearly reminder that coffeescript is the best and only...

yearly reminder that coffeescript is the best and only makes life better
➛
Jul 25, 2013

“Wil Baden has noted that LISP is to Lambda Calculus as...

“Wil Baden has noted that LISP is to Lambda Calculus as Forth is to Lukasewcleicz Postfix.” colorforth.com/...
➛
Jul 25, 2013

yeah rompers. jumpsuits basically imply suicide cult.

@nzle @rustyk5 yeah rompers. jumpsuits basically imply suicide cult.
➛
Jul 25, 2013

oh right i got the idea from snapchat

@rustyk5 oh right i got the idea from snapchat
➛
Jul 25, 2013

yeah i mean basically we start a coop, do a letterpress...

@rustyk5 yeah i mean basically we start a coop, do a letterpress edition of the whole earth catalog, raise some chickens, program a little
➛
Jul 25, 2013

it all ends with everyone moving to vermont and building...

@rustyk5 it all ends with everyone moving to vermont and building cabins
➛
Jul 25, 2013

i mean, she IS the best

@rustyk5 i mean, she IS the best
➛
Jul 25, 2013

Weiner Slipped in the Poll all right, @wnyc...

Weiner Slipped in the Poll all right, @wnyc mlkshk.com/...
➛
Jul 25, 2013

even better, you develop on mobile and deploy at scale to...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @silviakillings even better, you develop on mobile and deploy at scale to the cloud, which we call deplouding
➛
Jul 25, 2013

You should definitely get CloudVerified, it's pretty much...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @silviakillings You should definitely get CloudVerified, it's pretty much the best thing in my otherwise empty life.
➛
Jul 25, 2013

You guys don't have private following enabled for your...

@harrisj @rustyk5 @silviakillings You guys don't have private following enabled for your accounts yet? It might be a beta thing.
➛
Jul 25, 2013

Oh yeah. That sucks. It's just...pick your battles, I...

@bryanjoeh Oh yeah. That sucks. It's just...pick your battles, I guess. It always happens. Sometimes you send and email, usually just shrug.
➛
Jul 25, 2013

You're the same boy you used to be?

@bn2b You're the same boy you used to be?
➛
Jul 24, 2013

“But I picture Huma going down to the basement every night,...

“But I picture Huma going down to the basement every night, where there's a punching bag on a chain.” prospect.org/... #dontpicture
➛
Jul 24, 2013

Carlos Danger banner ad http://mlkshk.com/p/SUJE

Carlos Danger banner ad mlkshk.com/...
➛
Jul 23, 2013

jokes are the worst

@harrisj jokes are the worst
➛
Jul 23, 2013

It's not the secrets as much as the fact that your filter...

@timbray It's not the secrets as much as the fact that your filter is meaningful. (As Anil's would be.)
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Except that you are a valuable semantic axis AND an actor...

@timbray Except that you are a valuable semantic axis AND an actor in tech history. So your current HD state/email archive is significant.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

The OB/GYN served in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix.

@harrisj The OB/GYN served in Her Majesty's Secret Cervix.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Or there aren't. Twitter is a bad place to try to express...

@timbray Or there aren't. Twitter is a bad place to try to express this idea.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Boy is it. You're another good example. There are a million...

@timbray Boy is it. You're another good example. There are a million cool web things that Spotlight on your HD knows that Google doesn't.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Does anyone have any opinions on whether Kate Middleton...

Does anyone have any opinions on whether Kate Middleton should breastfeed and if so should she use Android or iOS to track feeds?
➛
Jul 23, 2013

of course if you set up the capability the channel will...

of course if you set up the capability the channel will immediately fill with quid-pro-quo awfulness, so it's better to forget I wrote this
➛
Jul 23, 2013

let's not get all crazy and use the word “idea” here

@rustyk5 let's not get all crazy and use the word “idea” here
➛
Jul 23, 2013

or one where the "F" stands from "Friends"

@xor or one where the "F" stands from "Friends"
➛
Jul 23, 2013

don't dangle domains it's cruel

@rustyk5 don't dangle domains it's cruel
➛
Jul 23, 2013

I think my point is that my “social” “network” has all this...

I think my point is that my “social” “network” has all this great data that's not public and has no API, and is nowhere on FB or Twitter.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Ideas like this always get acquired before anything...

Ideas like this always get acquired before anything happens. “It's a federated dark social search—[RING]—incredibly excited to announce.”
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Well and they have full control over everything released,...

@PraliteMonks @anildash Well and they have full control over everything released, most importantly.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Like, you could do all kinds of weird stuff that goes...

@PraliteMonks @anildash Like, you could do all kinds of weird stuff that goes beyond "ask a friend."
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Sure, but maybe it's someone I don't even know who knows...

@PraliteMonks @anildash Sure, but maybe it's someone I don't even know who knows Anil.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Basically I want a streamlined opt-in federated social FOIA...

Basically I want a streamlined opt-in federated social FOIA system thanks.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Like it would be valuable sometimes to search @anildash's...

Like it would be valuable sometimes to search @anildash's email for various things related to the web. But I don't want all of it.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

I had this idea which is it would be cool if you could...

I had this idea which is it would be cool if you could search other people's email and then they could release the results or not to you.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

The NSA can't search its own emails...

The NSA can't search its own emails propublica.org/...
➛
Jul 23, 2013

“‘There are lots of successful little Facebook apps,’ Dash...

“‘There are lots of successful little Facebook apps,’ Dash says, “but there isn’t a killer Facebook app.”” pandodaily.com/...
➛
Jul 23, 2013

“Delta put a plane mobile in his crib while Starbucks put...

“Delta put a plane mobile in his crib while Starbucks put paper crowns on coffee cups.” businessweek.com/...
➛
Jul 23, 2013

i'm never serious

@tonyhschu i'm never serious
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Seriously, you want to be a churnalist you need to keep a...

Seriously, you want to be a churnalist you need to keep a churnal. Just list 10 things you do each day and form the headline as a question.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Writers who want to succeed on the web should take time...

Writers who want to succeed on the web should take time every day to write in a private churnal.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

thank you, i was seriously worried i made it up.

@chocolatebobka thank you, i was seriously worried i made it up.
➛
Jul 23, 2013

Does anyone else remember when Neighborhoodies did music...

Does anyone else remember when Neighborhoodies did music reviews and was like a cultural destination site or did I make this up in a dream?
➛
Jul 23, 2013

The “Williamsburg and kids” slideshow on this article is an...

The “Williamsburg and kids” slideshow on this article is an important document #slideshow_modal_slot_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20130711/williamsburg/williamsburg-eateries-boost-efforts-cater-children#slideshow_modal_slot_1
➛
Jul 23, 2013

“WILLIAMSBURG—The workers at the Rosarita Fish Shack were...

“WILLIAMSBURG—The workers at the Rosarita Fish Shack were surprised to see a couple pushing a crib on wheels.” dnainfo.com/...
➛
Jul 22, 2013

guys this is the greatest internet reaction gif of all time...

guys this is the greatest internet reaction gif of all time 25.media.tumblr.com/...
➛
Jul 22, 2013

by following that middle path i seek to end the cycle of...

@fake_train by following that middle path i seek to end the cycle of retweets
➛
Jul 22, 2013

Feels good, right? Social bonds slipping away.

@fake_train Feels good, right? Social bonds slipping away.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

“How cool would it be if Apple, Samsung, Oracle and Google...

“How cool would it be if Apple, Samsung, Oracle and Google got into a Mexican Standoff on Ask Patents?” joelonsoftware.com/...
➛
Jul 22, 2013

You can snowfall any tweet by adding a “☃” to it.

You can snowfall any tweet by adding a “☃” to it.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

kevin you have been part of my social trolling experiment...

@kfan kevin you have been part of my social trolling experiment for more than a decade
➛
Jul 22, 2013

my poe toaster was broken

@rustyk5 my poe toaster was broken
➛
Jul 22, 2013

my dog-toaster

my dog-toaster
➛
Jul 22, 2013

you were hurting my dog toaster

@rustyk5 you were hurting my dog toaster
➛
Jul 22, 2013

it's like the 13th Duke of Connaught's Lancers (Watson’s...

@harrisj it's like the 13th Duke of Connaught's Lancers (Watson’s Horse) never rose in their stirrups
➛
Jul 22, 2013

that was more an observation than an opinion

that was more an observation than an opinion
➛
Jul 22, 2013

Has the U.S. press ever described the British economic...

Has the U.S. press ever described the British economic outlook as other than “gloomy”? It's like we want them to retake India.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

so did i

@nzle so did i
➛
Jul 22, 2013

omg DO IT

@mat omg DO IT
➛
Jul 22, 2013

Every time I unfollow everyone it gets a little easier.

Every time I unfollow everyone it gets a little easier.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

It was made clear to me that it was in the bests interests...

@rustyk5 @nzle @maureenflaherty It was made clear to me that it was in the bests interests of my marriage to follow my wife on Twitter.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

“Competitiveness leads to an unhealthful narrowing of...

“Competitiveness leads to an unhealthful narrowing of vision, at least for me.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 22, 2013

Pleasure serving with you. I'm headed back to my culture...

@rustyk5 Pleasure serving with you. I'm headed back to my culture farm to raise more culture, and maybe open a newsstand.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

If they name the baby Hyperloop everyone gets a week off.

If they name the baby Hyperloop everyone gets a week off.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

oh god twitter is done

@rustyk5 oh god twitter is done
➛
Jul 22, 2013

i'm glad somebody feels that way

@leahfinnegan i'm glad somebody feels that way
➛
Jul 22, 2013

The Unfollowing is the name of the TV show I just pitched...

The Unfollowing is the name of the TV show I just pitched where 81 people on Twitter wake up to find out that they have something in common.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

thanks, i may or may not

@leahfinnegan thanks, i may or may not
➛
Jul 22, 2013

I bet the NSA has some amazing inside jokes.

I bet the NSA has some amazing inside jokes.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

please god take them all

@nicoleslaw please god take them all
➛
Jul 22, 2013

What if the media is actually great and WE are the terrible...

What if the media is actually great and WE are the terrible ones?
➛
Jul 22, 2013

some might say there is far too much Room for Debate, but...

@leahfinnegan some might say there is far too much Room for Debate, but not me, because i have no opinions
➛
Jul 22, 2013

Actually I am stealing it today maybe to meet a deadline.

@nicoleslaw Actually I am stealing it today maybe to meet a deadline.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

i actually need to unfollow everyone again but I know it...

@rustyk5 @inthefade i actually need to unfollow everyone again but I know it hurts others
➛
Jul 22, 2013

STEALING THIS THANK YOU

@nicoleslaw STEALING THIS THANK YOU
➛
Jul 22, 2013

The path of history suggests this will all end. There will...

The path of history suggests this will all end. There will be a terminal tweet, a last pin, a final status update. Call it the Endpoke.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

that's an interesting hypothesis! which is basically all I...

@inthefade that's an interesting hypothesis! which is basically all I can say about it since I have no opinions.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

Somewhere in mid-July I lost my ability to form opinions,...

Somewhere in mid-July I lost my ability to form opinions, and I can't decide if this is good or bad.
➛
Jul 22, 2013

Open societies are better. Secrets are troublesome, secrets...

@LyonsMusic Open societies are better. Secrets are troublesome, secrets about secrets moreso.
➛
Jul 21, 2013

“The neighbor ‘ran out of his house shirtless and armed...

“The neighbor ‘ran out of his house shirtless and armed with an aerosol can of bear repellant,’ Streets said.” blog.sfgate.com/...
➛
Jul 21, 2013

“Hall took his few possessions and moved out of his...

“Hall took his few possessions and moved out of his fiancée’s home and into a tree at Mclaren Park.” blog.sfgate.com/...
➛
Jul 21, 2013

“The two had met in a hacky-sack circle in early February...

“The two had met in a hacky-sack circle in early February and announced plans to marry just two weeks later.” blog.sfgate.com/...
➛
Jul 20, 2013

“There is on average 5 percent more water in the air now...

“There is on average 5 percent more water in the air now than there was during World War II.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 20, 2013

“‘I read that he sat on an egg and it didn’t break. But is...

“‘I read that he sat on an egg and it didn’t break. But is there a video of this? Where’s the proof?’” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 19, 2013

science is all like it can't be done

@rustyk5 science is all like it can't be done
➛
Jul 19, 2013

does the dome have ac

does the dome have ac
➛
Jul 19, 2013

Instead of complaining on Twitter about the heat, wouldn't...

Instead of complaining on Twitter about the heat, wouldn't it be more effective to just ask God what we did wrong?
➛
Jul 19, 2013

I miss Aaron. He was such a good dude.

@anildash @mat I miss Aaron. He was such a good dude.
➛
Jul 19, 2013

genuine moment of pride and reflection right here

@mat genuine moment of pride and reflection right here
➛
Jul 16, 2013

I liked your piece about how people talk to each other and...

@shani_o I liked your piece about how people talk to each other and cooperatively accomplish things using humor, rhetoric, and media smarts.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

“At the time, I objected to the success of Black Twitter...

“At the time, I objected to the success of Black Twitter being presented as some code to crack — and I still do.” buzzfeed.com/...
➛
Jul 16, 2013

I stand with Scocca. New York is most itself on hellish...

I stand with Scocca. New York is most itself on hellish days. I watched cops break up an amputee fight yesterday.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

(Exception for @reppep who saved my grammar bacon a billion...

(Exception for @reppep who saved my grammar bacon a billion times at Harper's and elsewhere and whom I eternally celebrate.)
➛
Jul 16, 2013

All corrections and grammar fixes ultimately come from God....

All corrections and grammar fixes ultimately come from God. It's just that he picks the most annoying people to send his emails.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

I do miss the world where people thought SOAP was a good...

@richziade I do miss the world where people thought SOAP was a good answer
➛
Jul 16, 2013

oh so totally dumber

@sixfoot6 oh so totally dumber
➛
Jul 16, 2013

isn't everything, when you look at it, just atoms?

@urschrei isn't everything, when you look at it, just atoms?
➛
Jul 16, 2013

Oh I definitely agree that for trivial or disposable...

@codinghorror Oh I definitely agree that for trivial or disposable documents JSON is much better.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

(but paul xml is just a watered-down form of lisp...

(but paul xml is just a watered-down form of lisp s-expressions)
➛
Jul 16, 2013

i have seen the best minds of my generation reinvent xml in...

i have seen the best minds of my generation reinvent xml in json
➛
Jul 16, 2013

“The events initially addressed in ‘The Act of Killing’ are...

“The events initially addressed in ‘The Act of Killing’ are little known in the West.” nytimes.com/... If only someone reported them.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

They like it, ultimately. They learn that they are tired....

@the_snapper They like it, ultimately. They learn that they are tired. Our guys knock on the crib when it's time to hit the hay.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

No higher praise.

@tcarmody No higher praise.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

it changes everything

@the_snapper it changes everything
➛
Jul 16, 2013

The MacArthur Foundation announced a Genius Grants program...

The MacArthur Foundation announced a Genius Grants program for millennials. Everyone was so smart they couldn't choose, so they all get $1.
➛
Jul 16, 2013

it's too late for us, but I plan to stage-manage my kids to...

@mat it's too late for us, but I plan to stage-manage my kids to two spots on five under five
➛
Jul 16, 2013

“None of those cats are in the cloud.”...

“None of those cats are in the cloud.” theawl.com/...
➛
Jul 16, 2013

“Sponsored litterbox.” http://www.theawl.com/2013/07/what-ti...

“Sponsored litterbox.” theawl.com/...
➛
Jul 16, 2013

http://translate.google.com/#auto/en/%E5%9C%A8%E9%BB%91%E6%9...

@paul_haine #auto/en/%E5%9C%A8%E9%BB%91%E6%9A%97%E4%B8%AD%E6%83%8A%E9%86%92%EF%BC%8C%E6%88%91%E6%9E%84%E5%BB%BA%E4%BA%86%E7%86%8A%EF%BC%8C%E7%9B%B4%E5%88%B0%E6%9C%89%E6%9B%B4%E5%A4%9A%E7%9A%84%E9%BB%91%E6%9A%97%E3%80%82" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://translate.google.com/#auto/en/%E5%9C%A8%E9%BB%91%E6%9A%97%E4%B8%AD%E6%83%8A%E9%86%92%EF%BC%8C%E6%88%91%E6%9E%84%E5%BB%BA%E4%BA%86%E7%86%8A%EF%BC%8C%E7%9B%B4%E5%88%B0%E6%9C%89%E6%9B%B4%E5%A4%9A%E7%9A%84%E9%BB%91%E6%9A%97%E3%80%82
➛
Jul 16, 2013

You think people who work at Build-A-Bear Workshop are all,...

You think people who work at Build-A-Bear Workshop are all, “Welp, gotta build bears”? Or are they all, “在黑暗中惊醒，我构建了熊，直到有更多的黑暗。”
➛
Jul 16, 2013

Email to an editor: “I was touched by your note, an emotion...

Email to an editor: “I was touched by your note, an emotion I now completely regret.”
➛
Jul 16, 2013

“With my history in children’s toys, it’s a natural next...

“With my history in children’s toys, it’s a natural next step for me.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 16, 2013

“Apple now controls 10 percent of that market and Amazon 65...

“Apple now controls 10 percent of that market and Amazon 65 percent, w/Barnes&Noble and others splitting the rest.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 16, 2013

“‘It sounds like he was right where he should’ve been,...

“‘It sounds like he was right where he should’ve been, miserable and living in filth.’” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 15, 2013

It is like riding a manatee through Midtown

@zearl It is like riding a manatee through Midtown
➛
Jul 15, 2013

I've been refactoring everything lately for no reason

@shabbychef I've been refactoring everything lately for no reason
➛
Jul 15, 2013

No one else says that besides dads.

No one else says that besides dads.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

“Oh, very mature.” – your dad

“Oh, very mature.” – your dad
➛
Jul 15, 2013

I am on a bus seriously considering if I could remove my...

I am on a bus seriously considering if I could remove my pants without drawing attention to myself.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

I figured today was as good a day as any to try out my...

I figured today was as good a day as any to try out my CitiBike key and the one thing I observed is fuck everything.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

Guys there is enough despair for everyone

@rustyk5 @mat @nostrich Guys there is enough despair for everyone
➛
Jul 15, 2013

If riding a CitiBike is anything like using their iPhone...

If riding a CitiBike is anything like using their iPhone app you should expect to crash and die about once a minute.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

One of the good things about NYC in the summer is that no...

One of the good things about NYC in the summer is that no one would be stupid enough to try to inspire your passion for brands.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

you might need to get every pokemon tattooed on your body

@sixfoot6 @rustyk5 you might need to get every pokemon tattooed on your body
➛
Jul 15, 2013

in terms of seeing things it's okay

@rustyk5 @sixfoot6 in terms of seeing things it's okay
➛
Jul 15, 2013

i have to go outside now i am drinking like a gallon of...

@kissane i have to go outside now i am drinking like a gallon of water
➛
Jul 15, 2013

Erin I just anymore.

@kissane Erin I just anymore.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||...

@JessicaKRoy ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| —My levels
➛
Jul 15, 2013

“How do you make money on content?” is the question Wired...

“How do you make money on content?” is the question Wired magazine asked Brit Morin wired.com/...
➛
Jul 15, 2013

“Every month we also do something called a ParDIY — DIY...

“Every month we also do something called a ParDIY — DIY parties, basically.” wired.com/...
➛
Jul 15, 2013

Maker fandom is the worst.

Maker fandom is the worst.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

There's a line in the article alluding to earlier royal...

@sixfoot6 @maura There's a line in the article alluding to earlier royal births when only birds tweeted, I pretty much at that point.
➛
Jul 15, 2013

“‘This is probably the most anticipated birth since the...

“‘This is probably the most anticipated birth since the dawn of Twitter.’” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 15, 2013

i mean if you brought one home would she say no is my...

@fivetonsflax i mean if you brought one home would she say no is my question
➛
Jul 15, 2013

exactly like that actually

@merveille exactly like that actually
➛
Jul 14, 2013

honestly it was great when he drank from a straw, i don't...

honestly it was great when he drank from a straw, i don't want to pretend
➛
Jul 14, 2013

shani the button went from blue to gray and i was like, who...

@shani_o @mattbuchanan @laura_june shani the button went from blue to gray and i was like, who do I want to be
➛
Jul 14, 2013

I think it's just that his sister just sips sips sips

@michelet I think it's just that his sister just sips sips sips
➛
Jul 14, 2013

I decided to be optimistic about humanity's future today no...

I decided to be optimistic about humanity's future today no matter what happened and then I watched my son try to drink from a straw.
➛
Jul 14, 2013

no i actually unfollowed shani for a minute and then it was...

@mattbuchanan @laura_june no i actually unfollowed shani for a minute and then it was like am I some kind of monster
➛
Jul 14, 2013

Ugh I just went to unfollow everyone again and it's just...

@laura_june @mattbuchanan Ugh I just went to unfollow everyone again and it's just too much work so I just unfollowed Matt.
➛
Jul 13, 2013

“...we must always be deferential to white people, or face...

“...we must always be deferential to white people, or face the very real chance of getting killed.” gawker.com/...
➛
Jul 13, 2013

I can generate like five bad ideas a minute

@kleinmatic I can generate like five bad ideas a minute
➛
Jul 13, 2013

and most of the bad ones

@kleinmatic and most of the bad ones
➛
Jul 13, 2013

Not only does the Times write about women having sex in...

Not only does the Times write about women having sex in college but it neglects to explain why they are in college in the first place.
➛
Jul 13, 2013

I have this great idea for a magazine called American...

I have this great idea for a magazine called American Intern but I can't figure out how to staff it.
➛
Jul 13, 2013

If only it didn't need the quotes...

If only it didn't need the quotes google.com/... that publish essays"
➛
Jul 13, 2013

Intern worked hard on that one

@katienotopoulos Intern worked hard on that one
➛
Jul 13, 2013

that tree looks like a chicken

@maureenflaherty that tree looks like a chicken
➛
Jul 13, 2013

After the Magazine and Real Estate, Fucking is my new...

After the Magazine and Real Estate, Fucking is my new favorite section of the Times.
➛
Jul 12, 2013

that is a pretty amazing stew of things that are not good,...

@mariabustillos that is a pretty amazing stew of things that are not good, all the way down to the ads on the page
➛
Jul 12, 2013

With Wang Computer long-gone, where will that kid find work?

With Wang Computer long-gone, where will that kid find work?
➛
Jul 12, 2013

Man, you really reap what you neglect to sow.

Man, you really reap what you neglect to sow.
➛
Jul 12, 2013

It'll be worse when we find out that the intern was Gedde...

@mariabustillos It'll be worse when we find out that the intern was Gedde Watanabe in the middle of a midlife career transition.
➛
Jul 12, 2013

Was it a paid intern?

Was it a paid intern?
➛
Jul 12, 2013

The best I can summarize this is, if Sandra Bernhard and...

The best I can summarize this is, if Sandra Bernhard and Peter Gabriel had a kid and raised her on Michael Jackson youtube.com/...
➛
Jul 12, 2013

I can so see this happening. A billion phone calls and...

@billwasik I can so see this happening. A billion phone calls and you're desperately trying to please everyone.
➛
Jul 12, 2013

Not now I gotta go get the kids.

@anildash Not now I gotta go get the kids.
➛
Jul 12, 2013

An eyewitness told KTVU, “When the plane crashed we heard...

An eyewitness told KTVU, “When the plane crashed we heard the anguished scream of some young guy.”
➛
Jul 12, 2013

Or teach them to stop killing

@michaelryap Or teach them to stop killing
➛
Jul 12, 2013

“Narcissus is Back” http://vimeo.com/m/31702109

“Narcissus is Back” vimeo.com/...
➛
Jul 11, 2013

the question that hurts more than any other

@rustyk5 @mat the question that hurts more than any other
➛
Jul 11, 2013

The scene in Sherlock where Cumberbatch eats pudding is a...

The scene in Sherlock where Cumberbatch eats pudding is a perfect example of flan service.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Erik this interaction was deeply unsatisfying.

@ebarmack Erik this interaction was deeply unsatisfying.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I am glad you are alive, Erik.

@ebarmack I am glad you are alive, Erik.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

i came to your reading

@ebarmack i came to your reading
➛
Jul 11, 2013

erik i came to your reading

@ebarmack erik i came to your reading
➛
Jul 11, 2013

By being “helpful” to editors like @Womack and doing all...

By being “helpful” to editors like @Womack and doing all the markup and images myself I maintain “control.”
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Oh god @Womack is right, I sent him the piece as an HTML...

Oh god @Womack is right, I sent him the piece as an HTML file with charset UTF-8 and art already selected + a photo I took and shopped.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

It's so good to get confirmation.

@Womack It's so good to get confirmation.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

we have a birthday down the hall!

@anildash we have a birthday down the hall!
➛
Jul 11, 2013

And people are like, duh, it's just writing, just do it,...

And people are like, duh, it's just writing, just do it, you're fine. And I'm like, YOU can say that because it doesn't want to KILL you.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Oh ha, @michelet, 2014. Yes.

Oh ha, @michelet, 2014. Yes.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

At some level I fully expect my projects to kill me. The...

At some level I fully expect my projects to kill me. The thing I am about to do, I am really afraid of it. It wants me dead.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I am planning out ~1.5 biggish creative writing/code...

I am planning out ~1.5 biggish creative writing/code projects between now and June 2013. And it's made me realize something about this work.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Anyway I am no longer as likely to yell out the word CUBES...

Anyway I am no longer as likely to yell out the word CUBES to my cats.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

i just sort of float over the world as my vision tunnels...

@tcarmody i just sort of float over the world as my vision tunnels but probably yeah
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Like I was in the corner rocking, saying “if you connect...

Like I was in the corner rocking, saying “if you connect the alpha to the omega then you get...LIZARDS! I will write your advice column!”
➛
Jul 11, 2013

There's all these little interlinkages between the...

There's all these little interlinkages between the paragraphs that are apparent now but I had no idea they were there then.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Like, I must have written it between panic attacks.

Like, I must have written it between panic attacks.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I just went back to check something in...

I just went back to check something in themorningnews.org/... and realized that it came from a period when I was completely out of my mind.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

life is tricky

@jmkbk life is tricky
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Remember planking? And Facebook Home?

Remember planking? And Facebook Home?
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Yeah, I mean you just kind of can't sleep in people's...

@gravitronic Yeah, I mean you just kind of can't sleep in people's bushes in Brooklyn.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

You try to help and do right by people and the next thing...

You try to help and do right by people and the next thing you know Joffrey sits on the Iron Throne.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I think cable television has taught me that good intentions...

I think cable television has taught me that good intentions lead to civil war in Westeros and cost Sally Draper her innocence.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I worry that maybe he wasn't 100% legally in the country? I...

@ayse I worry that maybe he wasn't 100% legally in the country? I thought about setting off a sad chain of events.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I have to say, NYC 911 worked perfectly, they picked up in...

I have to say, NYC 911 worked perfectly, they picked up in a second and made sure they got the street right, people were there in minutes.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Yeah, that was my take as well. Also a very hot day so all...

@vruba Yeah, that was my take as well. Also a very hot day so all sorts of possibilities.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

If we helped you get treatment for a medical condition, I...

If we helped you get treatment for a medical condition, I hope it gets better. If we got you in trouble with the cops, guy, I'm sorry.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Afterwards I felt weird because what if he was just drunk?...

Afterwards I felt weird because what if he was just drunk? But then it was stupid hot and he was REALLY passed out, you can't risk it.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

No one said anything to me so I told the first guy bye and...

No one said anything to me so I told the first guy bye and he said God Bless You, and I said God Bless You Too, and then I got the kids.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Then the fire department came and put on blue gloves. An...

Then the fire department came and put on blue gloves. An ambulance came too. The guy sat up when he heard the sirens. He looked pretty bad.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I shook hands with him. He lives nearby. We yelled at the...

I shook hands with him. He lives nearby. We yelled at the guy in the bushes to wake up. A security guy came, kicked the guy, gently.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

“Can you call 911?” asked the guy. “They won't understand...

“Can you call 911?” asked the guy. “They won't understand me.” He was missing some teeth. I called them and spelled out the road.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

As I was headed to get the kids at 5:20 a man called me...

As I was headed to get the kids at 5:20 a man called me over and showed me a body under some bushes. “He's breathing,” I said.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

i'm sorry you had a weird period

@rustyk5 i'm sorry you had a weird period
➛
Jul 11, 2013

and delivered wirelessly

@gabrielroth and delivered wirelessly
➛
Jul 11, 2013

That is the LEAST punchable author photo I've ever seen....

@gabrielroth That is the LEAST punchable author photo I've ever seen. Tip your photographer. Book ordered.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Right, @ohheygreat. Every time a celebrity mentions god you...

Right, @ohheygreat. Every time a celebrity mentions god you will find a poor understanding of probability married to chronic narcissism.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

You become the mayor of not being places.

You become the mayor of not being places.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

When you are truly famous people report where you aren't,...

When you are truly famous people report where you aren't, like Sheryl Sandberg in that plane. Your life is the opposite of FourSquare.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

It's that X, it drives them crazy

@harrisj It's that X, it drives them crazy
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Every single one of you would watch the whole season of...

Every single one of you would watch the whole season of Doxxers while you had the flu or depression.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

It stars an old vet an ex-cop a kid with psychic powers a...

It stars an old vet an ex-cop a kid with psychic powers a woman with a secret a man who wants his son back and a robot named B.A.X.T.E.R.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Doxxers is set in the Warehouse 13/Eureka multiverse.

Doxxers is set in the Warehouse 13/Eureka multiverse.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

“How did you—” “If you knew anything about doxxing you'd...

“How did you—” “If you knew anything about doxxing you'd know how. If you want to learn more call me.” “What number?” “Figure it out.”
➛
Jul 11, 2013

“I know you've been to Iowa where you had a salad at a...

“I know you've been to Iowa where you had a salad at a Fridays. That you love Rush. I've doxxed you harder than you doxxed yourself.”
➛
Jul 11, 2013

“What's an old-timer like you know about doxxing anyway?”...

“What's an old-timer like you know about doxxing anyway?” [Walks away.] “I know you were born on a Thursday. And that you drink Sprite.”
➛
Jul 11, 2013

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO one...

@dansinker @kleinmatic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO one else could do his job so this is actually moot
➛
Jul 11, 2013

The Jewish Finnegans! Is a new series on A&E.

@leahfinnegan @rustyk5 The Jewish Finnegans! Is a new series on A&E.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Let's talk about something less controversial. Is the...

Let's talk about something less controversial. Is the Chrome Pixel or the Surface the best machine for video editors?
➛
Jul 11, 2013

leah we have been to the beach together

@leahfinnegan @rustyk5 leah we have been to the beach together
➛
Jul 11, 2013

That last tweet was a joke that was basically for me and...

That last tweet was a joke that was basically for me and about nine other human beings on earth, I am part of the problem.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

After Lolita I picked up Ada this summer but I found it...

After Lolita I picked up Ada this summer but I found it procedural.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I wanted to enjoy every moment of my vacation so I took...

@heretohinder I wanted to enjoy every moment of my vacation so I took Being and Time.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

this is the problem with writers in general, and the better...

@goldman this is the problem with writers in general, and the better they are the further they should be kept from beaches
➛
Jul 11, 2013

My beach read is The Faerie Queene because I never want the...

My beach read is The Faerie Queene because I never want the summer to end.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

oh god the comments are everything bad about nyc

@rustyk5 oh god the comments are everything bad about nyc
➛
Jul 11, 2013

probably someone real nice

@rustyk5 probably someone real nice
➛
Jul 11, 2013

also split open is the worst, just my god

@rustyk5 also split open is the worst, just my god
➛
Jul 11, 2013

The Waves is a perfect beach read dammit if you're going to...

The Waves is a perfect beach read dammit if you're going to do this. Or Pussy, King of the Pirates.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Ulysses and Lolita? Couldn't you do Death in Venice which...

Ulysses and Lolita? Couldn't you do Death in Venice which is kind of about beaches? Or, like, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage? ANYTHING?
➛
Jul 11, 2013

MY BEACH READ IS ULYSSES http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebat...

MY BEACH READ IS ULYSSES nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I could have my picture taken for a fashion magazine. “But...

I could have my picture taken for a fashion magazine. “But you have a nice face” is how the editor reassured me. I just stress ate a model.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Honestly I am so tired of telling women how to deal with...

Honestly I am so tired of telling women how to deal with micromansplaining.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

what makes you think i would even want to ARE the...

what makes you think i would even want to ARE the subtweeter ?
>
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I knew it was weird when Windows Metro replaced the trash...

I knew it was weird when Windows Metro replaced the trash can icon with a picture of Fort Meade.
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I will!

I will!
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Who will second-guess the second-guessers?

Who will second-guess the second-guessers?
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Matt are you second-guessing the MEDIA? The media who watch...

@mattbuchanan @mariabustillos Matt are you second-guessing the MEDIA? The media who watch over us? The media who vowed to keep us safe?
➛
Jul 11, 2013

I wonder who is in charge of giving away encrypted customer...

I wonder who is in charge of giving away encrypted customer data to the NSA post re-org?
➛
Jul 11, 2013

OMG a pig this good you don't eat all at once

@mattbuchanan OMG a pig this good you don't eat all at once
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Play it as it Faves

@mattlanger Play it as it Faves
➛
Jul 11, 2013

As bots go, you've made Twitter usable again. Happy...

@rustyk5 As bots go, you've made Twitter usable again. Happy birthday!
➛
Jul 11, 2013

Aren't all tweets sponsored, really?

Aren't all tweets sponsored, really?
➛
Jul 11, 2013

The Top 13 Streisand Effects

The Top 13 Streisand Effects
➛
Jul 11, 2013

wait bots can't have birthdays

@rustyk5 wait bots can't have birthdays
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Still, at least they gamified health insurance.

Still, at least they gamified health insurance.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

i immediately think of the alternative universe where slood...

@rustyk5 i immediately think of the alternative universe where slood is everywhere
➛
Jul 10, 2013

“The decade without ‘money.’” http://futurerhetorics.org/201...

“The decade without ‘money.’” futurerhetorics.org/...
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Apparently Google Hat will run Fedora.

Apparently Google Hat will run Fedora.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Capitalists don't understand cynicism. Whereas cynics...

Capitalists don't understand cynicism. Whereas cynics perfectly understand capitalists.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

If I was working for FWD.us I would tell the community that...

If I was working for FWD.us I would tell the community that immigration reform would give America enough developers to save Reader.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

I can't believe that all Fire Eagle traffic is going to be...

I can't believe that all Fire Eagle traffic is going to be routed through Axis!
➛
Jul 10, 2013

on exactitude in science

@rustyk5 on exactitude in science
➛
Jul 10, 2013

guys it's okay we can have more than one villain

@xor guys it's okay we can have more than one villain
➛
Jul 10, 2013

it was EXACTLY like that

@naveen it was EXACTLY like that
➛
Jul 10, 2013

OH MY GOD OH MY G

@darth OH
MY
GOD
OH
MY G
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Oh god you do Landmark Forum don't you

@rustyk5 Oh god you do Landmark Forum don't you
➛
Jul 10, 2013

and yes nerds i know "Sunnyvale" would be a better title if...

and yes nerds i know "Sunnyvale" would be a better title if it starred owen wilson as hadoop
➛
Jul 10, 2013

He was an expert in discoverability but the only thing he...

He was an expert in discoverability but the only thing he couldn't discover...was true love. MOUNTAIN VIEW. Starring Owen Wilson as Hadoop.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Document parsing is the comfort food of programming....

Document parsing is the comfort food of programming. Sometimes when I'm sad I'll just jam things into Postgres.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

When they take away the lunch I'm out.

@billwasik When they take away the lunch I'm out.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Publishing anything starts with lunch and ends in tears.

Publishing anything starts with lunch and ends in tears.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Well they do have Louis Vuitton bindles.

@tclancy Well they do have Louis Vuitton bindles.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

for those wondering how my kid got that dirty we were...

for those wondering how my kid got that dirty we were feasting on a hobo
➛
Jul 10, 2013

They are born knowing you're a fraud but soon forget. It...

@harrisj They are born knowing you're a fraud but soon forget. It apparently takes them until they are 12 or 13 to remember.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

anyway it's cool i've got the twins for five days while my...

anyway it's cool i've got the twins for five days while my wife is out of town gonna be super smoooooth instagram.com/...
➛
Jul 10, 2013

rusty it's product now you say “Do you use product? [Point...

@rustyk5 @Mike_FTW @lia rusty it's product now you say “Do you use product? [Point to self.] Do you want to?”
➛
Jul 10, 2013

mike i'm very offended you could ever think that of me do...

@Mike_FTW @lia mike i'm very offended you could ever think that of me do you ever visit state parks at night
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Anil are you on vacation in St. John's? Or on the Octopus...

@anildash @alainabrowne @lia Anil are you on vacation in St. John's? Or on the Octopus with Paul Allen? Because otherwise you are not my son
➛
Jul 10, 2013

If you are comfortable that is for the best, I guess....

@lia If you are comfortable that is for the best, I guess. Remember that *I* am always proud of my beautiful daughter.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

it's just important to be aware of the signals you send

@lia it's just important to be aware of the signals you send
➛
Jul 10, 2013

mike are you getting enough protein

@Mike_FTW @lia mike are you getting enough protein
➛
Jul 10, 2013

I would be an awesome mom, but only for 15 minutes a day....

I would be an awesome mom, but only for 15 minutes a day. Which is pretty much the culturally-accepted definition of an awesome dad.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

speaking of wearing shorts all the time

@lia speaking of wearing shorts all the time
➛
Jul 10, 2013

i want your happiness and sometimes happiness means hard...

@lia i want your happiness and sometimes happiness means hard choices
➛
Jul 10, 2013

it's just something to be aware of

@lia it's just something to be aware of
➛
Jul 10, 2013

the whole novel is basically about doing a bisect

@nrvscrcts the whole novel is basically about doing a bisect
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Because Internet I DON'T HAVE TO! [side profile thumbs-up]

@lia Because Internet I DON'T HAVE TO! [side profile thumbs-up]
➛
Jul 10, 2013

What if Prometheus/Alien was just the story of a giant...

What if Prometheus/Alien was just the story of a giant alien fertility clinic?
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Of course Neuromancer will be 30 soon. Which means it needs...

Of course Neuromancer will be 30 soon. Which means it needs to think about freezing its eggs.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

Imagine your naked uncle reading Neuromancer aloud forever....

Imagine your naked uncle reading Neuromancer aloud forever. Now fast forward 20 years and YOU ARE THAT UNCLE. Curtain. THE INTERNET.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

That aside, if you are upset when Google Glass users...

That aside, if you are upset when Google Glass users meta-review sex toys then you have missed the whole reason the Internet is awesome.
➛
Jul 10, 2013

♫ Sorry, like an angel/Heaven let me think was you/But I'm...

♫ Sorry, like an angel/Heaven let me think was you/But I'm afraid/It's too late to Scobleize ♫
➛
Jul 9, 2013

Turns out “physical therapy” means both that I wear shorts...

Turns out “physical therapy” means both that I wear shorts in public and that strangers touch me, so today is the worst day ever.
➛
Jul 9, 2013

there will be other chances

@rustyk5 there will be other chances
➛
Jul 9, 2013

“Times Square is so bright and shiny that you can...

“Times Square is so bright and shiny that you can practically see it from space. Nobody has pubic hair anymore.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 9, 2013

Just very quietly saying “lean in” during times of stress...

Just very quietly saying “lean in” during times of stress is a great way to completely enrage the women in your life.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Best-of-Loompanics anthology http://archive.org/details/Loom...

Best-of-Loompanics anthology archive.org/...
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Holds up http://web.archive.org/web/20030104001454/http://ca...

Holds up web.archive.org/...
➛
Jul 8, 2013

For real I could care for a donkey now until someone else...

@finn For real I could care for a donkey now until someone else came along
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Asilomar Institute are words you don't hear so much any more

@rustyk5 @sixfoot6 @anildash Asilomar Institute are words you don't hear so much any more
➛
Jul 8, 2013

In conclusion if you love your wife you should worm your...

In conclusion if you love your wife you should worm your donkey fastonline.org/...
➛
Jul 8, 2013

This comic book has valuable advice on worming your donkey...

This comic book has valuable advice on worming your donkey fastonline.org/...
➛
Jul 8, 2013

seriously this whole thing is gold, it's INCREDIBLY useful...

@rustyk5 seriously this whole thing is gold, it's INCREDIBLY useful for research, someone says Boing Boing is the best weblog that exists
➛
Jul 8, 2013

they are talking about "the altamont of blogging"

they are talking about "the altamont of blogging"
➛
Jul 8, 2013

honestly @rustyk5 this thing is amazing, it's entirely...

honestly @rustyk5 this thing is amazing, it's entirely about territoriality and tribal fears in the lost time before social ate everything
➛
Jul 8, 2013

And used IE on a Mac, some prime footage here. Blue...

@rustyk5 @ckolderup And used IE on a Mac, some prime footage here. Blue comments are topical!
➛
Jul 8, 2013

i had the EXACT same sweater at a conference in montreal...

@rustyk5 @ckolderup i had the EXACT same sweater at a conference in montreal but in 3xlt
➛
Jul 8, 2013

what amazes me is that someone put that event together,...

@rustyk5 what amazes me is that someone put that event together, like there is a class of humans who put these events together, who are they
➛
Jul 8, 2013

it's totally fine, you are sort of "wait why is this even a...

@rustyk5 it's totally fine, you are sort of "wait why is this even a big deal"
➛
Jul 8, 2013

it's a cruel internet that remembers every sweater

@ckolderup @rustyk5 it's a cruel internet that remembers every sweater
➛
Jul 8, 2013

nah, a man is not responsible for discussing blogging on...

@ckolderup @rustyk5 nah, a man is not responsible for discussing blogging on video his 20s
➛
Jul 8, 2013

I did not link to it because I am vulnerable on the same...

@rustyk5 I did not link to it because I am vulnerable on the same front and it brought to mind a horrible youtube war possibility
➛
Jul 8, 2013

are you thriving on garbage

are you thriving on garbage
➛
Jul 8, 2013

god leah at least do laugh out loud to make up for the ratio

@leahfinnegan god leah at least do laugh out loud to make up for the ratio
➛
Jul 8, 2013

are you winning at volume

are you winning at volume
➛
Jul 8, 2013

michael you are not winning at volume

@michaelroston michael you are not winning at volume
➛
Jul 8, 2013

and then you are searching along and it's @rustyk5 from...

and then you are searching along and it's @rustyk5 from 2003 on video talking about the relationship between blogging and journalism
➛
Jul 8, 2013

some infographics i just can't http://www.digiday.com/publis...

some infographics i just can't digiday.com/...
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Reading that again I can see certain editor's moves in...

@billwasik Reading that again I can see certain editor's moves in action. Like the “by legal vote” clause, I can smell the cig smoke.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

and yes i know i'm almost done

@billwasik and yes i know i'm almost done
➛
Jul 8, 2013

it's the ë in preëminent that kills me, makes the whole...

@billwasik it's the ë in preëminent that kills me, makes the whole thing go from tragedy through farce landing on something like farcitragy
➛
Jul 8, 2013

dontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengage...

dontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengagedontengage
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Lazyweb: There's a quote to the effect of "if they had...

Lazyweb: There's a quote to the effect of "if they had photography in ancient rome it wouldn't be that interesting" that I CAN'T FIND. Any1?
➛
Jul 8, 2013

speaking of things with the meta prefix how would you...

@michelet @anildash @Choire speaking of things with the meta prefix how would you define the boundary between data and metadata
➛
Jul 8, 2013

no it's cool december 5 was a cool day

@laura_june no it's cool december 5 was a cool day
➛
Jul 8, 2013

so it's like that laura

@laura_june so it's like that laura
➛
Jul 8, 2013

You cannot escape its thingness.

@anildash @Choire You cannot escape its thingness.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

I have been waiting for this book since December 10, 2012....

I have been waiting for this book since December 10, 2012. twitter.com/...
➛
Jul 8, 2013

And I will *keep* promoting these things AND myself,...

And I will *keep* promoting these things AND myself, endlessly, forever, because otherwise Pandodaily wins.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

YOU! NOW! Pre-order @Choire's book. I did. I paid for a...

YOU! NOW! Pre-order @Choire's book. I did. I paid for a THING. Because he's one of my favorite writers. amazon.com/...
➛
Jul 8, 2013

God, when writers self-promote. Would you just show some...

@Choire @rustyk5 @nostrich God, when writers self-promote. Would you just show some leg, would it kill you?
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Here are some names for Outbrain competitors to use when...

Here are some names for Outbrain competitors to use when disrupting the autosuggest space: Cheapshame, Tinytrickle, Grimwidget, Saditorial.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Outbrain REALLY wants me to look at barely concealed tits...

Outbrain REALLY wants me to look at barely concealed tits today.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

The crowd is really good at that.

@dbreunig The crowd is really good at that.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

Actually, wait, that's a great idea, I want to do that.

Actually, wait, that's a great idea, I want to do that.
➛
Jul 8, 2013

As a founder I don't have time to read The Fountainhead, so...

As a founder I don't have time to read The Fountainhead, so I hired 2,000 Mechanical Turkers to read it for me.
➛
Jul 7, 2013

One weird productivity trick that works is to redirect...

One weird productivity trick that works is to redirect every social network/community site to the site I'm now building. “Oh yeah! This!”
➛
Jul 7, 2013

Complaining about unions is the easiest way to proclaim the...

@yayitsrob @the_bile @rustyk5 Complaining about unions is the easiest way to proclaim the heroic values of die Technologieführerschaft.
➛
Jul 7, 2013

The other place is the back of a Tesla with a couple of...

@yayitsrob @the_bile @rustyk5 The other place is the back of a Tesla with a couple of really high-end prostitutes and some Moët.
➛
Jul 7, 2013

I think it's actually one of those places where you see the...

@yayitsrob @the_bile @rustyk5 I think it's actually one of those places where you see the founder myth in its purest form
➛
Jul 6, 2013

[drops ton of offspring album nearly sinking sailboat]

@rustyk5 @katienotopoulos [drops ton of offspring album nearly sinking sailboat]
➛
Jul 6, 2013

nice world you have here be a shame if someone told you the...

@rustyk5 @katienotopoulos nice world you have here be a shame if someone told you the offspring made a ton of albums
➛
Jul 6, 2013

“You once said that in Hollywood, 40 is the new 100...”...

“You once said that in Hollywood, 40 is the new 100...” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 6, 2013

you can't blame it for what followed that would be the...

@rustyk5 @katienotopoulos you can't blame it for what followed that would be the historical fallacy
➛
Jul 6, 2013

my god it's full of, well, 6502 assembler instructions

@textfiles my god it's full of, well, 6502 assembler instructions
➛
Jul 6, 2013

this 1993 japanese PC should actually be called the gibson...

this 1993 japanese PC should actually be called the gibson ia800904.us.archive.org/...
➛
Jul 6, 2013

rusty was i your college roommate

@rustyk5 @harrisj rusty was i your college roommate
➛
Jul 6, 2013

look at the keyboard; it would be like chewing gum with...

@harrisj look at the keyboard; it would be like chewing gum with your fingers
➛
Jul 6, 2013

you can actually start to imagine “all” looking at this

@textfiles you can actually start to imagine “all” looking at this
➛
Jul 6, 2013

also my god i've torrented romsets, who hasn't, but this is...

@textfiles also my god i've torrented romsets, who hasn't, but this is freaking beyond
➛
Jul 6, 2013

I am declaring awesomeness bankruptcy because I just have...

I am declaring awesomeness bankruptcy because I just have more awesomeness than I know how to handle.
➛
Jul 4, 2013

Brooklyn you are an insane pyromaniac borough.

Brooklyn you are an insane pyromaniac borough.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

Jessica if you have a problem with whats happening perhaps...

@rustyk5 @JessicaKRoy Jessica if you have a problem with whats happening perhaps you need to write a certain kind of letter
➛
Jul 3, 2013

You didn't let me down, robots.

You didn't let me down, robots.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

I was wrong, I missed it, there was an open letter.

I was wrong, I missed it, there was an open letter.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

An Open Letter to Rusty About Eating Spaghetti in a White...

@rustyk5 An Open Letter to Rusty About Eating Spaghetti in a White Shirt
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“*January 0* is an alternate name for December 31.”...

“*January 0* is an alternate name for December 31.” en.wikipedia.org/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

And I check Hacker News every day.

And I check Hacker News every day.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

There haven't been many open letters recently.

There haven't been many open letters recently.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“31. I’m Paleo, so I believe that accidentally eating pubic...

“31. I’m Paleo, so I believe that accidentally eating pubic hair is natural.” the-toast.net/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“The most important question you can ask about Engelbart...

“The most important question you can ask about Engelbart is, ‘What world was he trying to create?’” worrydream.com/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“From that perspective, separate cursors weren't a feature...

“From that perspective, separate cursors weren't a feature so much as a symptom.” worrydream.com/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“In a single stroke he had what might be called a complete...

“In a single stroke he had what might be called a complete vision of the information age.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“preëminence” http://www.theawl.com/2013/07/the-letter

“preëminence” theawl.com/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“A touching but entirely hopeless petition...

“A touching but entirely hopeless petition (j.mp/... has 35,000 signatures so far.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

Asteroids too, because I'm spacist.

@eventi Asteroids too, because I'm spacist.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“The nurse took Leigh and put her back in the nursery with...

“The nurse took Leigh and put her back in the nursery with all the other Moon Babies.” recommendedreading.tumblr.com/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

Platonic solids all look the same to me.

Platonic solids all look the same to me.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

“People are thrilled that you showed up, but no one really...

“People are thrilled that you showed up, but no one really cares that you’re leaving.” mobile.slate.com/...
➛
Jul 3, 2013

if you've got a craving for savings

if you've got a craving for savings
➛
Jul 3, 2013

if you've got a passion for fashion

if you've got a passion for fashion
➛
Jul 3, 2013

i'm still working on this theory

@rustyk5 i'm still working on this theory
➛
Jul 3, 2013

The answer is giant corporations.

@rustyk5 The answer is giant corporations.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

Just charge more than the client makes. They start to...

@rustyk5 Just charge more than the client makes. They start to listen.
➛
Jul 3, 2013

I saw uglykidjoe live in Reading, PA, and some skinheads...

@laura_june @ohheygreat I saw uglykidjoe live in Reading, PA, and some skinheads beat up a punk and broke his ribs, it was awful
➛
Jul 3, 2013

the least i can do for the publisher is die after turning...

@leahfinnegan the least i can do for the publisher is die after turning it in
➛
Jul 3, 2013

oh wait that's the fourth can i have until 2015

@leahfinnegan oh wait that's the fourth can i have until 2015
➛
Jul 3, 2013

oh god can i have until tomorrow morning

@leahfinnegan oh god can i have until tomorrow morning
➛
Jul 3, 2013

I have a few other deadlines I need to hit but I can do 3...

@leahfinnegan I have a few other deadlines I need to hit but I can do 3 words by 8PM
➛
Jul 3, 2013

I have strong opinions about humidity

@leahfinnegan I have strong opinions about humidity
➛
Jul 2, 2013

“‘In punk there’s an extreme kind of conformity to all the...

“‘In punk there’s an extreme kind of conformity to all the nonconformity.’” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 2, 2013

At least now Atom will get a chance to shine.

At least now Atom will get a chance to shine.
➛
Jul 2, 2013

truly this is a film in the transcendentalist tradition

@btrpkc truly this is a film in the transcendentalist tradition
➛
Jul 1, 2013

scott it is late @sjttocs

scott it is late @sjttocs
➛
Jul 1, 2013

I realize that I shouldn't have said "literally" about...

I realize that I shouldn't have said "literally" about naked Walt Whitman, I am GIAFYC (grateful in advance for your criticism).
➛
Jul 1, 2013

It's actually an amazing testament to America that no one...

It's actually an amazing testament to America that no one killed him.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

It's all like ODE TO OPHIGENIA UPON A TRANSIT OF VENUS and...

It's all like ODE TO OPHIGENIA UPON A TRANSIT OF VENUS and Whitman literally just runs through the room naked, arms waving, tongue waggling.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Where the hell did Whitman even come from? Have you read...

Where the hell did Whitman even come from? Have you read poetry from the mid-1800s? It's excruciating. And up pops Walt.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

I went to the woods because I wished to influence.

I went to the woods because I wished to influence.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

best with that sort of work

@rustyk5 best with that sort of work
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Remember when founders cared about users?

Remember when founders cared about users?
➛
Jul 1, 2013

do you take a retainer

@rustyk5 do you take a retainer
➛
Jul 1, 2013

`“Do I influence myself? Very well, then, I influence...

`“Do I influence myself? Very well, then, I influence myself; I am large -- I contain multitudes.” —Walt Whitberg
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Zuckerberg rewrites the American dream to include 100% more...

Zuckerberg rewrites the American dream to include 100% more influencers theverge.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

“You might not like Charlie. You might not want to dress in...

“You might not like Charlie. You might not want to dress in his chest hair.” npr.org/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Anything that isn't a light that turns on and off really...

Anything that isn't a light that turns on and off really really fast is a skeuomorph.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

no but let's talk better mileage

@thejackamo no but let's talk better mileage
➛
Jul 1, 2013

sorry about the extra "the" in there

sorry about the extra "the" in there
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Remember in Ghostbusters when Zuul, the Gatekeeper, met the...

Remember in Ghostbusters when Zuul, the Gatekeeper, met the Vinz Clortho, the Keymaster? glasstesla.com
➛
Jul 1, 2013

i like to think they can feel it

@laura_june i like to think they can feel it
➛
Jul 1, 2013

what if every tweet were a life

@laura_june what if every tweet were a life
➛
Jul 1, 2013

You know, the next step for me is waving something over...

@gnat You know, the next step for me is waving something over magnetic core, and it's been done to death. You win this one, Torkington.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

wordstar gets in my way, at least compare to teco on a vax

@gnat wordstar gets in my way, at least compare to teco on a vax
➛
Jul 1, 2013

“‘And the writers said: ‘No, he’s closer to us. You can...

“‘And the writers said: ‘No, he’s closer to us. You can make an admiral out of anyone.’’” rianovosti.com/... via metafilter.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Yeah I also don't want to play this cool, I married Mo cuz...

@JPaskin @kfan @inthefade @rustyk5 @nzle Yeah I also don't want to play this cool, I married Mo cuz I love her and "married" sounded better
➛
Jul 1, 2013

if you can get through the fourth week it's smooth sailing

@inthefade @rustyk5 @nzle @kfan if you can get through the fourth week it's smooth sailing
➛
Jul 1, 2013

What is marriage really but a transaction? [Tesla pulls...

@rustyk5 @nzle @kfan @inthefade What is marriage really but a transaction? [Tesla pulls up.] Gotta go.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Honestly it will make more sense when you're older....

@nzle Honestly it will make more sense when you're older. [Smiles, then suddenly clutches at gaping neck wound.] NOZLEE WHY.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Marriage happens in another timestream is why. Like, what...

@nzle @rustyk5 @kfan Marriage happens in another timestream is why. Like, what you said makes sense NOW, but marriage takes place in 1435AD.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

[At which point we all got up off one knee, coughed...

@nzle @rustyk5 @kfan [At which point we all got up off one knee, coughed uncomfortably, and adjusted our high collars.]
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Poor Jarrett this is a nightmare conversation to have...

@rustyk5 @nzle @kfan Poor Jarrett this is a nightmare conversation to have carried out in public.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Yeah there's this moment where suddenly it would be...

@rustyk5 @nzle @kfan Yeah there's this moment where suddenly it would be easier/simpler to be married than not.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

it's hilariously arbitrary. "we had sex in the same house...

@nzle @kfan it's hilariously arbitrary. "we had sex in the same house for six years sharing expenses and suddenly I knew."
➛
Jul 1, 2013

we have a salt and pepper shaker set in the shape of rabbits

@rustyk5 @nzle we have a salt and pepper shaker set in the shape of rabbits
➛
Jul 1, 2013

BTW I had this exact conversation with Rosecrans ten years...

@nzle BTW I had this exact conversation with Rosecrans ten years ago, but with roles reversed.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Also if your wife's family is from Chicago buy 80 or 90...

Also if your wife's family is from Chicago buy 80 or 90 extra cases of Miller Lite. #weddingtips
➛
Jul 1, 2013

they are so selfish

@nzle they are so selfish
➛
Jul 1, 2013

What I saw: Everything about weddings is contrary to your...

@nzle What I saw: Everything about weddings is contrary to your most deeply-held values, which is why they are such a special event.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

There are often parents involved, too. Terrible parents.

@nzle There are often parents involved, too. Terrible parents.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Also, it's not YOU doing the lecturing—the "you" means the...

@nzle Also, it's not YOU doing the lecturing—the "you" means the spouse-to-be.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

well you know, people and towels.

@nzle well you know, people and towels.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

So you can either lecture everyone on how marriage should...

@nzle So you can either lecture everyone on how marriage should be, or put stuff on your registry that you like that costs like $50 max.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Way more complex. People FREAK OUT if you don't register....

@nzle Way more complex. People FREAK OUT if you don't register. Try to funnel to charity? Then you'll get FIVE waffle makers.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

inverse also true

@JPaskin inverse also true
➛
Jul 1, 2013

not on twitter gina this is serious

@ginatrapani not on twitter gina this is serious
➛
Jul 1, 2013

“What the anger really means is that there is no love in...

“What the anger really means is that there is no love in here, inside me.” valleywag.gawker.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

To be clear, I love WordPerfect and it was the greatest...

To be clear, I love WordPerfect and it was the greatest word processor of all time. (Though I'm in the 6.0 fandom; 5.1 is played out.)
➛
Jul 1, 2013

RSS is the WordPerfect of the web.

RSS is the WordPerfect of the web.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Pando Daily and Don Diva are pretty much the only things I...

@anildash Pando Daily and Don Diva are pretty much the only things I read now
➛
Jul 1, 2013

i secretly recited our vows in elvish during the walk to...

@maureenflaherty i secretly recited our vows in elvish during the walk to the reception
➛
Jul 1, 2013

oh that spreadsheet was created by @anildash i just get all...

oh that spreadsheet was created by @anildash i just get all my news from pandodaily now
➛
Jul 1, 2013

A crowdsourced Google spreadsheet listing Google Reader...

A crowdsourced Google spreadsheet listing Google Reader replacements: #gid=0" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://docs.google.com/a/ftrain.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Aif6hhXGHN28dHhteWJmUVU3UV9pMlJlZmNIbEdya3c#gid=0 #whileitlasts
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Without the liberal arts what would inspire our theme...

Without the liberal arts what would inspire our theme weddings?
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Amazing MP3 chat between nine lesbians in 1963...

Amazing MP3 chat between nine lesbians in 1963 archive.org/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Okay thanks everyone, the actual command is: sudo sh -c...

Okay thanks everyone, the actual command is:
sudo sh -c "echo '127.0.0.1 twitter.com ' >> /etc/hosts"
good crowdsourcing bye
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Thanks @abackstrom sudo sh -c "echo '127.0.0.1...

Thanks @abackstrom sudo sh -c "echo '127.0.0.1 twitter.com ' >> /etc/hosts"
➛
Jul 1, 2013

wait what is it? why not echo?

@fivetonsflax wait what is it? why not echo?
➛
Jul 1, 2013

oh goddammit it's a bash builtin maybe? so it's two...

oh goddammit it's a bash builtin maybe? so it's two commands. sudo bash, then
➛
Jul 1, 2013

was that last tweet real tech journalism

was that last tweet real tech journalism
➛
Jul 1, 2013

$ sudo echo "127.0.0.1 https://twitter.com" >>...

$ sudo echo "127.0.0.1 twitter.com" >> /etc/hosts
➛
Jul 1, 2013

what did i

what did i
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Why am I even

Why am I even
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Jesus though, reading http://pandodaily.com/2013/07/01/the-r...

Jesus though, reading pandodaily.com/... it's like he NEVER reads non-tech journalists. Mother Jones? NYTimes?
➛
Jul 1, 2013

This piece admirably demonstrates the urgent need for real...

This piece admirably demonstrates the urgent need for real journalism: pandodaily.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Sigh, and actually unfair and untrue.

@katzish Sigh, and actually unfair and untrue.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Amanda, one thing I know for sure is that they're not...

@katzish Amanda, one thing I know for sure is that they're not listening.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Container ships carrying paragraphs.

Container ships carrying paragraphs.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

One major efficiency would be to stop publishing books.

One major efficiency would be to stop publishing books.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

“There are no immediate plans for laying off...

“There are no immediate plans for laying off employees...There will also be an effort to sort out redundancies.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Ask Metafilter on the question of why so many publishers...

Ask Metafilter on the question of why so many publishers are named after birds: ask.metafilter.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Non-Deterministic Bantam

Non-Deterministic Bantam
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Stochastic Puffin.

Stochastic Puffin.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Exactly. Or just Random Penguin.

@shaurz Exactly. Or just Random Penguin.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

How could you have that opportunity and not call it Random...

How could you have that opportunity and not call it Random Penguin?
➛
Jul 1, 2013

“‘Today, we are Penguin Random House,’ he wrote.”...

“‘Today, we are Penguin Random House,’ he wrote.” nytimes.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

You'd learn a lot from it. You really would. You would...

@rustyk5 You'd learn a lot from it. You really would. You would become a more humble person who accepts responsibility.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

"So before you Google me, I should tell you something."

@rustyk5 "So before you Google me, I should tell you something."
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Oh that is so great. It's so bad that you'd enter a totally...

@rustyk5 Oh that is so great. It's so bad that you'd enter a totally different life state, like the guy who caught the Cubs' ball.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

“You think you’re sending an email blast to coworkers, but...

“You think you’re sending an email blast to coworkers, but instead accidentally send a picture of your penis.” betabeat.com/...
➛
Jul 1, 2013

no but see that's exactly right. the joke was made and...

@rustyk5 no but see that's exactly right. the joke was made and done. I say this as the proprietor of @SEOVaginaDeals
➛
Jul 1, 2013

and for too long it has been denied the right to vote

@saveoursnails and for too long it has been denied the right to vote
➛
Jul 1, 2013

That was an amazing burn masquerading as a light jab,...

That was an amazing burn masquerading as a light jab, @paulkruczynski. Making it VERY Canadian.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

oh man that is an underutilized asset right there

@rustyk5 @snailfacts oh man that is an underutilized asset right there
➛
Jul 1, 2013

I am so looking forward to the @Awl essay by...

I am so looking forward to the @Awl essay by @mariabustillos defending Sean Parker's wedding.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

if we could save it we could save my marriage

@rustyk5 if we could save it we could save my marriage
➛
Jul 1, 2013

valuable snail tip

@rustyk5 valuable snail tip
➛
Jul 1, 2013

I actually see it as a fundamental part of the “the job.”...

@rustyk5 @JessicaKRoy I actually see it as a fundamental part of the “the job.” The job of saving snails.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

This is an interesting story but ousting Morsi as president...

@JessicaKRoy @rustyk5 This is an interesting story but ousting Morsi as president won't do anything to help the coastal inland snail.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

I'd make up a bugbear. "This wedding isn't the real story....

@JessicaKRoy @rustyk5 I'd make up a bugbear. "This wedding isn't the real story. The real story is the coastal inland snail habitats."
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Wait, @JessicaKRoy @rustyk5, if I had a bajillion dollars...

Wait, @JessicaKRoy @rustyk5, if I had a bajillion dollars ALL I WOULD DO is leave Internet comments.
➛
Jul 1, 2013

Sure ain't the web I expected.

Sure ain't the web I expected.
➛
Jun 30, 2013

All these processes messaging each other as the reboot...

All these processes messaging each other as the reboot comes. “Honor serving with you, kswapd0.” “And you, crond.” [Great, creaking sound.]
➛
Jun 30, 2013

I love the way that Linux goes “The system is going down...

I love the way that Linux goes “The system is going down for reboot NOW” which is very clear. I always think of sailors watching a huge wave
➛
Jun 30, 2013

I've kept open connections to servers due for shutoff,...

I've kept open connections to servers due for shutoff, waiting for the end. You can get really wrapped up in some remote box over the years.
➛
Jun 30, 2013

oh god i forgot and now he works at google. maybe the...

@bn2b oh god i forgot and now he works at google. maybe the google reader shutdown is part of his plan?
➛
Jun 30, 2013

i should follow your lead

@bn2b i should follow your lead
➛
Jun 30, 2013

Ah, gotcha. (Is it weird that the first crop of users is 30...

@bn2b Ah, gotcha. (Is it weird that the first crop of users is 30 years old now? It feels weird.)
➛
Jun 30, 2013

Overcome by web nostalgia and wanting the balm of the...

Overcome by web nostalgia and wanting the balm of the familiar I just visited pitas.com. Et tu @bn2b?
➛
Jun 30, 2013

sticking to a schedule would at least acknowledge the suck

@aaronhege @ckolderup sticking to a schedule would at least acknowledge the suck
➛
Jun 30, 2013

i wish google would allow everyone some ceremony but it'll...

@aaronhege @ckolderup i wish google would allow everyone some ceremony but it'll probably still be up and running tomorrow
➛
Jun 30, 2013

yeah i erased it when i was like oh man if people who miss...

@ckolderup yeah i erased it when i was like oh man if people who miss reader have dead dads that's not funny
➛
Jun 30, 2013

i'm folding laundry piping a merry shanty

@laura_june i'm folding laundry piping a merry shanty
➛
Jun 30, 2013

oh god you have no idea

@laura_june oh god you have no idea
➛
Loading...