May 31, 2011 Incubator by HaClique is one of the great songs of 1981.... Incubator by HaClique is one of the great songs of 1981. bit.ly/... ➛
May 31, 2011 My preferred composition environment is a no-frills text... My preferred composition environment is a no-frills text editor called GUILTROOM. It runs everywhere! ➛
May 30, 2011 I saw Ben Lerman sing last week and he was great. He has... I saw Ben Lerman sing last week and he was great. He has poops in his backpack. youtube.com/... ➛
May 29, 2011 Not a metaphor. Man likes birds. #WTFranzen @anildash Not a metaphor. Man likes birds. #WTFranzen ➛
May 29, 2011 That's the best hashtag ever. #WTFranzen @Gregorg That's the best hashtag ever. #WTFranzen ➛
May 29, 2011 Oh Franzen oh Franzen oh no oh why. OH GOD FRANZEN NO STOP... Oh Franzen oh Franzen oh no oh why. OH GOD FRANZEN NO STOP IT FRANZEN PLEASE FRANZEN...oh. Oh, god. nyti.ms/... ➛
May 27, 2011 "Inveterate" in the NYTimes since 1981: http://bit.ly/kHVwIr "Inveterate" in the NYTimes since 1981: bit.ly/... ➛
May 26, 2011 TMN represented! Nozlee and Erik B. provided support and... @JessicaFKane TMN represented! Nozlee and Erik B. provided support and wisdom. All good! ➛
May 26, 2011 Live one night only. All those moments will be lost in... @tony_jansen @dvsjr Live one night only. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die. ➛
May 26, 2011 Thanks goodly folk who came to see me read last night. Thanks goodly folk who came to see me read last night. ➛
May 25, 2011 This is exactly how my reading will go tonight:... This is exactly how my reading will go tonight: bit.ly/... ➛
May 22, 2011 I'm going to read something totally new on Weds at Happy... I'm going to read something totally new on Weds at Happy Ending, and I will do my best to entertain. bit.ly/... ➛
May 21, 2011 Profiles of Zach Galifianakis are interchangeable with that... Profiles of Zach Galifianakis are interchangeable with that honey badger video. "Zach doesn't care. Doesn't give a SHIT." ➛
May 21, 2011 $100,000,000 to advertise the rapture. This is the New Coke... $100,000,000 to advertise the rapture. This is the New Coke of apocalypses. lat.ms/... ➛
May 21, 2011 Awesome news, rapturers: You now have your WHOLE LIFE to... Awesome news, rapturers: You now have your WHOLE LIFE to read the New Testament and practice a sincere loving faith. ➛
May 20, 2011 Either works. Would end up like this, sort of:... @Hungryghoast Either works. Would end up like this, sort of: ftrain.com/... ➛
May 20, 2011 "Dan Savage but 100 years from now." #storyideas "Dan Savage but 100 years from now." #storyideas ➛
May 20, 2011 "Someone brings a cancer-detecting dog to a wedding."... "Someone brings a cancer-detecting dog to a wedding." #storyideas ➛
May 20, 2011 "GTD primary religion of failing USA. New kid in school is... "GTD primary religion of failing USA. New kid in school is tormented for lack of inbox zero." #storyideas ➛
May 20, 2011 Problem is they'll just reset it and start over. @skimen Problem is they'll just reset it and start over. ➛
May 20, 2011 So annoyed I'm scheduled to work through the rapture AGAIN.... So annoyed I'm scheduled to work through the rapture AGAIN. Just told someone, "I'll get you that memo by EOW." ➛
May 20, 2011 I hope familyradio.com programmed that days-til-world-ends... I hope familyradio.com programmed that days-til-world-ends counter to stop at zero. Be embarrassing for it to go to -1. ➛
May 20, 2011 It's the end of the world for web design, too:... It's the end of the world for web design, too: familyradio.com ➛
May 19, 2011 What's dark red, sticky, and smells like pennies?... What's dark red, sticky, and smells like pennies? Spiderman's pocket! ➛
May 19, 2011 Maria Shriver wrote a book "10 Things I Wish I'd Known... Maria Shriver wrote a book "10 Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Went Out Into The Real World." New edition will have 11 things. ➛
May 18, 2011 I've always had my suspicions about damselflies. @cmueller I've always had my suspicions about damselflies. ➛
May 18, 2011 Scientists discovered a bug with 20 legs that walks very... Scientists discovered a bug with 20 legs that walks very slowly. It's called the orthopede. ➛
May 18, 2011 No way. Come to the mortgage closing with me this afternoon... @theodoreross No way. Come to the mortgage closing with me this afternoon and tell me who has the furriest hat. ➛
May 18, 2011 Coincidentally, my lawyers are also Jewish. @dadwagon @theodoreross Coincidentally, my lawyers are also Jewish. ➛
May 18, 2011 Young Galaxy fills that Everything But the Girl Hole in my... Young Galaxy fills that Everything But the Girl Hole in my life I didn't know I had, hole-wise. ➛
May 18, 2011 TOTALLY. Buck a tweet for 5 years option. @aaronsw TOTALLY. Buck a tweet for 5 years option. ➛
May 18, 2011 If Apple released designer children the API would be called... @torrez @joeljohnson If Apple released designer children the API would be called BabyStep. ➛
May 18, 2011 Just wait until they open Baby API. (Meanwhile it takes... @joeljohnson Just wait until they open Baby API. (Meanwhile it takes Microsoft five versions, but they finally get it right.) ➛
May 18, 2011 I resent the insinuation that I would mess with my Twitter... @nickd I resent the insinuation that I would mess with my Twitter location data in any way. ➛
May 18, 2011 I am totally writing the last one. "We have DRASTICALLY... I am totally writing the last one. "We have DRASTICALLY simplified the baby. One leg, one eye. BOOM. Isn't that GREAT?" ➛
May 18, 2011 "Designer babies: Microsoft vs. Apple. Design strategies.... "Designer babies: Microsoft vs. Apple. Design strategies. Fight between AAPL and MSFT high schoolers. SHOW STEVENOTE." ➛
May 18, 2011 "Scenes as robotically enhanced ancient boomer nation... "Scenes as robotically enhanced ancient boomer nation mourns Ringo." ➛
May 18, 2011 "He:uptown lawyer;she:downtown trader.Want baby, no time.... "He:uptown lawyer;she:downtown trader.Want baby, no time. He jacks into baggies, she bastes @ desk & finally sleeps/w bike messenger." ➛
May 18, 2011 "Writer on deadline fabricates 'teen vomit parties' trend.... "Writer on deadline fabricates 'teen vomit parties' trend. TV crews appear. Caught, he fakes it--bribes homeless kids to puke." ➛
May 18, 2011 "Short-short about ostrich farmers entirely in subject... "Short-short about ostrich farmers entirely in subject lines." ➛
May 18, 2011 "Aliens love pure math of blue-eyed soul; capture Daryl... "Aliens love pure math of blue-eyed soul; capture Daryl Hall. At climax they 'render' him. Lock of blond hair on tile floor." ➛
May 18, 2011 I have this years-old file of short story ideas and some of... I have this years-old file of short story ideas and some of them are completely insane. ➛
May 17, 2011 "Chastain has a voiceover at the very beginning asking her... "Chastain has a voiceover at the very beginning asking her sons to prefer God's grace to the beauties of nature." I AM SO THERE. ➛
May 17, 2011 Dude DUDE dude DUDE the average length of that movie in my... @serial_consign Dude DUDE dude DUDE the average length of that movie in my head is FOREVER AND I HOPE IT NEVER STOPS. ➛
May 17, 2011 Actually I'm hoping for a tin cup half-buried in riverbank... Actually I'm hoping for a tin cup half-buried in riverbank mud and a voice that says "The flood is coming." ➛
May 17, 2011 Voice-over from a woman would be welcomed too, as long as... Voice-over from a woman would be welcomed too, as long as the wind sound is kept loud enough. ➛
May 17, 2011 I am sincerely hoping the new Terrence Malick movie has at... I am sincerely hoping the new Terrence Malick movie has at least three minute-long shots of something in the wind. ➛
May 16, 2011 They beg for poems and we give them Transformers III. @meaghano They beg for poems and we give them Transformers III. ➛
May 16, 2011 No but it looks awesome. Added to list. @dealingwith No but it looks awesome. Added to list. ➛
May 16, 2011 Marketing and web architecture are ALWAYS appropriate for... @larwe Marketing and web architecture are ALWAYS appropriate for conversation. ➛
May 16, 2011 Wow, @choire, you didn't have to favorite that quite so... Wow, @choire, you didn't have to favorite that quite so fast. ➛
May 16, 2011 "My last Ftrain post hit a chord." @clairezg "The boredom... @ftrain "My last Ftrain post hit a chord." @clairezg "The boredom chord?" ➛
May 16, 2011 They/we are their/our own thing. My stuff is from a... @fearofcode They/we are their/our own thing. My stuff is from a different world, I think. It's fun that people engaged today. ➛
May 16, 2011 Watching HN critique my fiction is AMAZING. bit.ly/leG4OI... Watching HN critique my fiction is AMAZING. bit.ly/leG4OI -- so many different readings, so many ideas of how text should be. ➛
May 16, 2011 This reddit thread is the best thing on the Internet right... This reddit thread is the best thing on the Internet right now: bit.ly/... ➛
May 15, 2011 New Ftrain: "My daughter was first sued in the womb."... New Ftrain: "My daughter was first sued in the womb." bit.ly/... ➛
May 15, 2011 No--it's just the form as drives me batty. It's not really... @levity No--it's just the form as drives me batty. It's not really a letter. It's usually a bossy screed masquerading as "helpful." ➛
May 15, 2011 Is there anything more passive-aggressive than an Internet... Is there anything more passive-aggressive than an Internet "open letter?" Just buck up and complain, you sniveling shits. ➛
May 14, 2011 Lost and bitter, I ordered a new Epiphanator™. It arrived... Lost and bitter, I ordered a new Epiphanator™.It arrived broken. Finally, I understood. ➛
May 14, 2011 It's an incredibly hard bar, historically. It's AMAZING so... @Foomandoonian It's an incredibly hard bar, historically. It's AMAZING so many people stay alive and don't kill each other. ➛
May 14, 2011 I want to say "congratulations on your success" to everyone... I want to say "congratulations on your success" to everyone I meet because they are alive and usually not murderers. ➛
May 14, 2011 I own CS4, won't upgrade. The hours saved converting files... @rhaygood I own CS4, won't upgrade. The hours saved converting files or dealing with edge cases are worth it to me. ➛
May 13, 2011 I AM YOUR GRANDMA, I AM YOUR GRANDMA http://bit.ly/ills2B I AM YOUR GRANDMA, I AM YOUR GRANDMA bit.ly/... ➛
May 13, 2011 Twin bands: Man Man, The The, Duran Duran...? What else?... Twin bands: Man Man, The The, Duran Duran...? What else? (Triplets even more rare: !!!) ➛
May 13, 2011 Yes. Unseating it would involve coming up with a better... @rhaygood Yes. Unseating it would involve coming up with a better "language" that serves the communities Pshop underserves? Donno. ➛
May 13, 2011 I just described a person as a knuckle-breathing goon. I just described a person as a knuckle-breathing goon. ➛
May 13, 2011 I've always been filtered by the man. Too many bad... @austingovella I've always been filtered by the man. Too many bad thoughts. This machine kills firewalls! ➛
May 13, 2011 Me neither, but that one is insanely ambitious. So many... @jlcapps Me neither, but that one is insanely ambitious. So many moving pieces all geared up and turning at once. Hoboy. ➛
May 13, 2011 Oh man I had forgotten the awesomeness of A&P by Updike:... Oh man I had forgotten the awesomeness of A&P by Updike: bit.ly/... ➛
May 13, 2011 Next you'll be telling me that Craigslist is fine because... @jeremyzilar Next you'll be telling me that Craigslist is fine because it works for its users. ➛
May 12, 2011 I'm kind of freaked out by the AP's website. They should... @jeremyzilar I'm kind of freaked out by the AP's website. They should just call it best-newswire-for-you.com and be done. ➛
May 12, 2011 That's a perfect epitaph. "I think it's going to rain." That's a perfect epitaph. "I think it's going to rain." ➛
May 12, 2011 Rain -- As in "I think it's going to rain" indicating that... Rain -- As in "I think it's going to rain" indicating that it is time to leave a dull gathering or party. bit.ly/... ➛
May 12, 2011 You say "excuse," I say "inspiration." @gregorysean @clairezg You say "excuse," I say "inspiration." ➛
May 12, 2011 Sinatra glossary: http://www.leepresson.com/slang/fslang.htm... Sinatra glossary: leepresson.com/... #scramsville ➛
May 12, 2011 The new "man bites dog" is "dog fights terror." The new "man bites dog" is "dog fights terror." ➛
May 11, 2011 Also KIDDING god I need and appreciate the love like a... @jkottke Also KIDDING god I need and appreciate the love like a junkie. ➛
May 11, 2011 Stop messing with my self-loathing. I need it in order to... @ginatrapani Stop messing with my self-loathing. I need it in order to feel bad about myself. ➛
May 11, 2011 And is followed by zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. @niki_pop @courtneyyoung And is followed by zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. ➛
May 11, 2011 Big Freedia is playing a legal warehouse this Friday. I'd... Big Freedia is playing a legal warehouse this Friday. I'd probably regret missing that. ➛
May 11, 2011 I think this bear wants some blood clams:... I think this bear wants some blood clams: nytimes.com/... ➛
May 11, 2011 Blood Clams! They have a high % of tasty hemoglobin and... Blood Clams! They have a high % of tasty hemoglobin and taste like blood. Clams. Blood Clams! nyti.ms/... ➛
May 10, 2011 RT @bestproductivitytweets New on Ftrain: Top 5... RT @bestproductivitytweets New on Ftrain: Top 5 PRODUCTIVITY hints for Google Calendar!!!! ftra.in/... #gcal #gtd ➛
May 9, 2011 So, um, I started up with http://ftrain.com again. Well, I... So, um, I started up with ftrain.com again. Well, I guess I HADN'T moved on. It's NOT serious. Just friends. ➛
May 9, 2011 Hah, yes. Whenever I start writing again I like to use up... @frangrit Hah, yes. Whenever I start writing again I like to use up all my words. In a month or two it'll be all grunts. ➛
May 7, 2011 It's been a decade, and I still don't get beards. It's been a decade, and I still don't get beards. ➛
May 7, 2011 To forget the mortgage mess that is my life I'm listing... To forget the mortgage mess that is my life I'm listing some favorite things: (1) Emacs org-mode; (2) Peel sessions; (3) cats. ➛
May 6, 2011 Game of Thrones is totally lacking in elves. Game of Thrones is totally lacking in elves. ➛
May 6, 2011 One more Genny and I'll know pure shame. @flowb33 One more Genny and I'll know pure shame. ➛
May 6, 2011 Is Parks and Recreation a subversive love letter to civic... Is Parks and Recreation a subversive love letter to civic duty and human kindness? Or am I just a freaking sap? Can't tell. ➛
May 6, 2011 In my neck of the woods you tell baby Jesus about your... @mjb In my neck of the woods you tell baby Jesus about your feelings. ➛
May 6, 2011 You're right. I am totally not going to face my feelings. @mjb You're right. I am totally not going to face my feelings. ➛
May 6, 2011 Just bought a 24 oz. Genesee Cream Ale. A pack of Backwoods... Just bought a 24 oz. Genesee Cream Ale. A pack of Backwoods cigars and I'll be ready to face my feelings. ➛
May 6, 2011 http://linkypedia.inkdroid.org lets orgs track how their... linkypedia.inkdroid.org lets orgs track how their assets are being used on Wikipedia, and by whom. ➛
May 6, 2011 I bet there will be lots of opportunities to write for free... I bet there will be lots of opportunities to write for free over at Bookish.com. bit.ly/... ➛
May 6, 2011 Wanted: A version of Guernica that one might stick ones... Wanted: A version of Guernica that one might stick ones head through, like at a carnival. ➛
May 5, 2011 is one of the people using robots to manufacture tiny... @carlrc is one of the people using robots to manufacture tiny moustaches in metal: gothamsmith.com ➛
May 5, 2011 Just like adding "and the Range" to people's names is fun,... Just like adding "and the Range" to people's names is fun, so is adding "'s Urban Hang Suite." ➛