May 2011 BY Paul Ford 2011 110 Sections Not a metaphor. Man likes birds. #WTFranzen That's the best hashtag ever. #WTFranzen Least he didn't call it a clicker. You made me laugh until I cried. TMN represented! Nozlee and Erik B. provided support and... not me Right after I do the frog flick bit. Either works. Would end up like this, sort of:... Problem is they'll just reset it and start over. I've always had my suspicions about damselflies. No way. Come to the mortgage closing with me this afternoon... Coincidentally, my lawyers are also Jewish. TOTALLY. Buck a tweet for 5 years option. If Apple released designer children the API would be called... Just wait until they open Baby API. (Meanwhile it takes... I resent the insinuation that I would mess with my Twitter... Looks like I better lawyer up. Dude DUDE dude DUDE the average length of that movie in my... Not intentionally. They beg for poems and we give them Transformers III. Marketing and web architecture are ALWAYS appropriate for... No--it's just the form as drives me batty. It's not really... It's an incredibly hard bar, historically. It's AMAZING so... I own CS4, won't upgrade. The hours saved converting files... "Gogos" is nice work. Yes. Unseating it would involve coming up with a better... I've always been filtered by the man. Too many bad... Me neither, but that one is insanely ambitious. So many... Next you'll be telling me that Craigslist is fine because... I'm kind of freaked out by the AP's website. They should... You say "excuse," I say "inspiration." Ah, good catch. Fixed that. Also KIDDING god I need and appreciate the love like a... Stop messing with my self-loathing. I need it in order to... No more awkward than tweeting it. And is followed by zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hah, yes. Whenever I start writing again I like to use up... One more Genny and I'll know pure shame. In my neck of the woods you tell baby Jesus about your... Just... getting... started. You're right. I am totally not going to face my feelings. Koons balloon animals! "Someone brings a cancer-detecting dog to a wedding."... I am totally writing the last one. "We have DRASTICALLY... Incubator by HaClique is one of the great songs of 1981.... My preferred composition environment is a no-frills text... I saw Ben Lerman sing last week and he was great. He has... Oh Franzen oh Franzen oh no oh why. OH GOD FRANZEN NO STOP... "Inveterate" in the NYTimes since 1981: http://bit.ly/kHVwIr Live one night only. All those moments will be lost in... Thanks goodly folk who came to see me read last night. This is exactly how my reading will go tonight:... I'm going to read something totally new on Weds at Happy... Profiles of Zach Galifianakis are interchangeable with that... $100,000,000 to advertise the rapture. This is the New Coke... Awesome news, rapturers: You now have your WHOLE LIFE to... "Dan Savage but 100 years from now." #storyideas "GTD primary religion of failing USA. New kid in school is... So annoyed I'm scheduled to work through the rapture AGAIN.... I hope familyradio.com programmed that days-til-world-ends... It's the end of the world for web design, too:... What's dark red, sticky, and smells like pennies?... Maria Shriver wrote a book "10 Things I Wish I'd Known... Scientists discovered a bug with 20 legs that walks very... Young Galaxy fills that Everything But the Girl Hole in my... "Designer babies: Microsoft vs. Apple. Design strategies.... "Scenes as robotically enhanced ancient boomer nation... "He:uptown lawyer;she:downtown trader.Want baby, no time.... "Writer on deadline fabricates 'teen vomit parties' trend.... "Short-short about ostrich farmers entirely in subject... "Aliens love pure math of blue-eyed soul; capture Daryl... I have this years-old file of short story ideas and some of... "Chastain has a voiceover at the very beginning asking her... Actually I'm hoping for a tin cup half-buried in riverbank... Voice-over from a woman would be welcomed too, as long as... I am sincerely hoping the new Terrence Malick movie has at... No but it looks awesome. Added to list. Is loneliness a vertical? Wow, @choire, you didn't have to favorite that quite so... "My last Ftrain post hit a chord." @clairezg "The boredom... They/we are their/our own thing. My stuff is from a... Watching HN critique my fiction is AMAZING. bit.ly/leG4OI... This reddit thread is the best thing on the Internet right... New Ftrain: "My daughter was first sued in the womb."... Is there anything more passive-aggressive than an Internet... Lost and bitter, I ordered a new Epiphanator™. It arrived... I want to say "congratulations on your success" to everyone... I AM YOUR GRANDMA, I AM YOUR GRANDMA http://bit.ly/ills2B Twin bands: Man Man, The The, Duran Duran...? What else?... I just described a person as a knuckle-breathing goon. Oh man I had forgotten the awesomeness of A&P by Updike:... That's a perfect epitaph. "I think it's going to rain." Rain -- As in "I think it's going to rain" indicating that... Sinatra glossary: http://www.leepresson.com/slang/fslang.htm... The new "man bites dog" is "dog fights terror." Big Freedia is playing a legal warehouse this Friday. I'd... I think this bear wants some blood clams:... Blood Clams! They have a high % of tasty hemoglobin and... RT @bestproductivitytweets New on Ftrain: Top 5... So, um, I started up with http://ftrain.com again. Well, I... It's been a decade, and I still don't get beards. To forget the mortgage mess that is my life I'm listing... Game of Thrones is totally lacking in elves. Is Parks and Recreation a subversive love letter to civic... Just bought a 24 oz. Genesee Cream Ale. A pack of Backwoods... http://linkypedia.inkdroid.org lets orgs track how their... I bet there will be lots of opportunities to write for free... Wanted: A version of Guernica that one might stick ones... is one of the people using robots to manufacture tiny... Just like adding "and the Range" to people's names is fun,...