Pascal’s Fail State
This prominent MAGA-adjacent cartoonist died recently and did a Pascal’s wager-style deathbed conversion from atheism to Christianity, which, sure, whatever, humans. (Prayers are distributed through a supernatural network protocol they call pleamail—unfortunately most go to spam.) But his was flagged VIP, I’m sure it got through—so I keep thinking of him dying and ending up in all kinds of various other non-Christian hells, and the devils are poking him with sticks and going: “Dude, you almost had it, you almost had the peace of total nonexistence. But then you sent us that conversion notice. Now me and the guys have to torture you forever. Allahu akbar/Om namo bhagavate vasudevaya.” And they’re all Dogbert.