Ftrain, by Paul Ford

I know the reasons not to eat four sausages in a day. Some are moral and some are logical. I considered everything. But what I wanted more than anything was two more sausages. Had [Wife] been here she'd have said, have no more sausages; but she was out and I wanted the sausages, so I microwaved them, and they sang and whistled and popped, and I smeared them with mustard and ate them, and they were good and left me happy and having had my fill of sausages.