Ftrain, by Paul Ford

Me: Hey History! I donated to a lot of causes, I hope you don’t judge me too harshly!

History: Cool. What textiles are you wearing?

Me: What?

H: Your shirts button?

Me: …Yes?

H: (Makes note.) Can I get your weight?

Me: Umm—

H: How many mice did you eat today?

Me: None.

H: Oh so not yet. ➛