How to Put a Finger on Motherhood
“Look at this baby!” she broadcast through her snide remarks. “This came right out of me - I made this! There is no finer use of the human vessel. I am holding a future President of The United States, made from semen and glue and God’s twinkly tears and hatched right from between my blessed legs. And look at your cat, you selfish woman. If I had a stroller big enough, I’d drive it right over your pet caddy like the main event at a Monster Truck Rally, just to show you how great this work called ‘man’ is.” Of course, she said none of this but it was all there in her haircut.