Dancing Dolphin

By Paul Ford

Ah, how they frolic, those cow jaws.

If you don't happen to live on a ranch where the carcass of a cow may turn up in your stream bed[, or in a slaughterhouse], you may not be able to adorn your garden pool with a dancing dolphin of the type shown [you pitiful not-living-near-dead-cow-skeletons fucker]. This frivolous Flipper[, fantastically fun and festive, if fleshless] was made from the jawbone of a cow, [bloated and rotted to the bone, and] bleached to mottled smoothness by long years of exposure to the sun[, picked apart by vultures]. Surrounded by polished rocks found at the beach this flippant little fellow becomes an interesting attention-getter guaranteed to astonish your friends [nearly to the point of vomiting, although whether the regurgitation trigger is your shockingly bad taste or your pathological willingness to pretend that a still-toothed bovine jaw can in anyway bring up positive aquatic associations, cannot be determined].

Our point in suggesting a dancing dolphin made from a cow's jaw, even though you may personally may never meet up with a cow, is to encourage you to look for natural oddities native to your particular area. Who knows what you may find or what you may make of it. [That bag of shit might make an exciting clay pot. And that dead, bloated cat could be a fun toy for the kids.] Anything goes when you aim to make something from nothing. [Anything at all. Even sticking a cow's jaw in a pot and telling everyone it's a dolphin.]