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Monday, January 19, 1998
Real Things, Said by Real People
By Paul Ford
You tame your own donkey, okay?
Brooklyn Conversation Snippets
Guaranteed 50% real.
[Brackets] mean I couldn't hear clearly.
"How old."
"Dead."
"I tell you man, I don't ejaculate inside my wife. This way I don't go to hell."
"Holy Quran says it's still a sin."
"You listen. I do not ejaculate. I be going like this, swinging it in, but I do not ever let it come out."
"You [tame your own donkey], okay?
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not homeless. I am a magician."
(Entire subway car moans in bleak recognition.)
"Ah, you've doubtless seen a man impersonating me working these trains."
"She's got a stoma hole. Or maybe she swallowed a doorbell."
"Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz." From the kazoo of a fellow wearing scuba gear and dishtowels in the Jay street station.
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